Cold joke story

Lead: Reading cold joke stories can increase the fun of life and exercise intelligence. The following is a selection of cold joke stories I have compiled, and you are welcome to refer to them.

Xiao Ming of the joke story 1, Teacher: Students love watching cartoons, so what do you think is the most touching cartoon in China?

Xiaohong: Huluwa, in order to save Grandpa from danger, they can't fight the snake demon.

Teacher: Well, not bad.

Xiaoming: It should be a big-headed son and a small-headed father.

Teacher: Why?

Xiao Ming: Father's brain atrophy and son's hydrocephalus. They still live a strong life.

Teacher: Get out! ! !

2. The teacher talked about rhetoric. For example, I am a good teacher. What rhetorical devices are used in this sentence?

There are different opinions, metaphors, satires, exaggerations and satires. . .

Finally, Xiaoming said loudly: personification! ! !

3. Teacher: Why do you always fail the next class?

Xiaoming: Because you didn't teach the class next door!

Teacher: Get out! ! ! !

4. Teacher: Please use "since childhood" to make sentences.

Xiao Ming: You can tell whether it is a boy or a girl from the posture of defecation.

Teacher: As long as you can, you can make sentences with "urine".

Xiao Ming: You can tell what cup you are by the size of the teacher's chest.

Teacher: Get out.

Xiao Ming: "If I give something to others, I don't feel bad about how much I give.". But if the other party insists that I want it, I will be very disgusted and would rather throw it away than give it. "

Teacher: "This TM is the reason why you don't hand in your homework? Get out! "

6. Teacher: "Don't be happy about things, don't feel sorry for yourself, Xiao Ming. Please explain what it means. . . "

Xiao Ming: "Just don't think that you will be happy if you do well in the physics exam, and you will be sad if you do poorly in the geometry exam. . . "

Teacher: "Get out!"

7. English teacher: "What is the word after the verb?"

Xiao Ming quickly replied: "Typing words, using verbs to type words, is a big magnet. . . Moving magnetism is big magnetism. . . The boundless horizon is my love. . . . . . "

Teacher: Get out of here. Now, hurry up. . .

joke

8. Teacher: "We suck chalk powder every day until we are hoarse and tired. Do you think it is easy for a teacher to stand on the platform? "

Xiao Ming: "It's not easy! To sum up, it is: sucking powder, soliciting customers, selling yourself, and platform. It's not easy!

Teacher: Get out.

9. Teacher: Please explain the meaning of the egg hitting the stone.

Kobayashi: I overreach myself.

Teacher: Xiao Lin is right. Xiao Ming, please answer.

Xiaoming: Eggs hurt. ...

Teacher: Get out.

10, Teacher: Triangles are the most stable, such as tripods. . .

Xiaoming: Love triangle, briefs.

Teacher: Get out.

Cold joke story 1 "If your mother and I fell into the water, which one would you save?"

"Fool, I won't take you home to meet my parents."

2. Two men were squatting on the roadside chatting, and a tall and plump beauty passed by. One of them said to the other, "See? That's my dish! "

Another person smiled: "You, you, we cannibals are picky eaters!

I went swimming for the first time this year. When I got into the water, I caught a mother coming out of the water with a crying girl, so I helped coax her. Mother said, I seem to have seen you last year. Do you like swimming very much?

I said yes, I have loved it since I was a child. You can't pull it out if you enter the pool.

Mother said enviously, how nice! Look at my child, he pulled it out as soon as he entered the pool.

I found that my wallet has never been filled with money. Who can be poorer than me?

Reply 1: "I have been in the toilet for three days after my period."

Two: "I went to tell my fortune that morning, and the fortune teller finished talking when he saw me."

Three: "I went to the public toilet in a hurry and found that the small sign at the door said I had to pee two hairs. As a result, I peed my pants alive."

Four: "If you have money, you must use paper to go to the toilet."

5. The goddess asked me to borrow money and promised to pay it back again and again, but I hesitated. She asked, "You don't believe me?"

I told her, "My mother said that the more beautiful a woman is, the less trustworthy she is."

She smiled coldly: "You trust your mother so much, it seems that your mother is quite ugly."

6. Lack of experience in chasing girls for the first time. Brothers asked me to invite women to the movies and ask for ghost movies. I made an appointment with the goddess last week, and she agreed. The effect is not bad, just like others said.

At first I buried my head in her arms. . .

7. I went shopping with my girlfriend today and picked up 20 yuan. She said it was unlucky not to spend the money. . . So I accompanied her to the mall and bought a skirt. . .

8. The girlfriend said to her boyfriend, "I'm so cold."

Boyfriend goes to get the quilt.

The girlfriend said to her boyfriend, "I'm so lonely."

My boyfriend went to buy a dog.

The girlfriend said to her boyfriend, "I like someone to hold me like a mother."

Boyfriend brought his girlfriend's mother.

9. A: "I weighed 58kg before going to the toilet, but I still weighed 58kg after going to the toilet. What's the matter? "

B: "I forgot to take off my pants."

10. Once I went to the toilet, I found a wallet in the pit, half of which was soaked in shit. I hesitate to pick it up. Finally, I jumped in, picked it up and opened it. A piece of paper from Nima said, "Brother, I have already read it. There is no money in it!" "

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