Shi Tiesheng's story

At the age of ten, Shi Tiesheng won the first prize in an essay contest. At the age of eighteen, Shi Tiesheng volunteered to jump the queue in Yanchuan County, Shaanxi Province. At the beginning of jumping the queue, Shi Tiesheng suffered from spinal cord injury and low back pain. Once he was herding cattle in the mountains and was caught in heavy rain and hail. After the high fever, the symptoms of low back and leg pain reappeared, and the root of the disease fell from then on. On the second day of Shi Tiesheng's birthday, his father helped him into the ward for the first time because of his leg illness. At that moment, Shi Tiesheng had a determination: be a good person or die, and never come out like this again.

With his legs numb and his muscles shrinking relentlessly, Shi Tiesheng felt lost. The unnamed philosopher said: it is difficult to have atheists lying on his deathbed. Day and night, lying in bed, Shi Tiesheng reduced his interest in reading. Back and forth, the footsteps parked outside disturbed Shi Tiesheng's thoughts. Shi Tiesheng prayed forlornly in his heart: God, if you don't take me back, leave me my walking leg. Under the south window, pink and green alternate with each other, although it makes people yearn. But Shi Tiesheng never dared to envy those healthy people walking among flowers and trees.

He can't even recall the feeling of stepping on the soft grass. Since then, he has never stood up again. Life is so fragile that people can't bear to look directly at it. At the age of 21, 29 and 38, Shi Tiesheng was discharged from Lin San's hospital. Especially at the age of 29, Shi Tiesheng had a high fever, and he was sleepy and vomited all day. I dare not smell rice for nearly three months. I drink glucose through blood vessels, and my blood pressure is unstable. Doctors were once worried that he would not survive this winter.

2. A strong mother

After Shi Tiesheng was disabled, his mother devoted all her thoughts to treating him. In order to treat the disease, the whole family is heavily in debt. Shi Tiesheng's mother looked for remedies everywhere, spending money like water, looking for strange medicine. She washed, applied, smoked and moxibustion Shi Tiesheng. Shi Tiesheng eats and drinks. However, the miracle did not show that Shi Tiesheng benefited for life. That's what the old doctor of Friendship Hospital said: "You may not have such free time in your life. Why not use this time to read some books and clear your mind?

In the second day of junior high school, Shi Tiesheng caught up with the Cultural Revolution and didn't read any books. Most of the world famous works were read after his legs were disabled. Shi Tiesheng goes to Ditan in a wheelchair every day, either reading or thinking. Shi Tiesheng's mother finally despaired of her son's leg. In an effort to forget this misfortune, Shi Tiesheng's mother borrowed books from him everywhere and pushed him to the movies in rainy and snowy days. Afraid of Shi Tiesheng's suicide, she endured pain and worry, so she let her son go out alone. Many times, Shi Tiesheng stayed in this garden for too long, so she came to see him, but she didn't dare to disturb him.

She just needs to see Shi Tiesheng well and turn around without saying a word. Perhaps out of stubbornness and shyness, Shi Tiesheng pretended not to see it, and sometimes deliberately hid. At the age of thirty, Shi Tiesheng's first novel was finally published. A few years later, Shi Tiesheng won the prize again. But she can no longer share this glorious moment with her son. She left him as early as 49 years old. Shi Tiesheng recalled that he was stunned by fate and thought he was the most unfortunate one in the world. I didn't know that my misfortune was always doubled at my mother's.

3. Pursuit and life

In the difficult years of paralysis, Shi Tiesheng was irritable. He couldn't find a job or a way out, so he had to spend it in the garden. Sometimes he stays for a while, and sometimes he stays until the full moon. Shi Tiesheng said: I have been in this garden for so many years, sometimes I am relaxed and happy, sometimes I am depressed, sometimes I am carefree, sometimes I am lonely, sometimes I am calm and confident, and sometimes I am weak and confused. In Shi Tiesheng's ear, three questions have been harassing and accompanying him. The first one is do you want to die? The second is why are you alive? Third, why should I write?

What inspired Shi Tiesheng was a film by Chaplin: City Lights. The heroine tried to commit suicide, but Chaplin saved her. The woman said, "Why did you save me? What right do you have not to let me die? " Chaplin said, "What's the hurry? Do we all have to die sooner or later? " Shi Tiesheng's heart thumped: Yes, aren't we all going to die sooner or later? Regarding death, Shi Tiesheng said: Death is something that you don't have to rush for success. Death is an inevitable festival.

Regarding disability, Shi Tiesheng has been thinking, why can I write novels? Why are the materials of those novels sent to a paraplegic? Wang Meng once said that because he is disabled, there is a quiet spirit in his works that other writers don't have. For life and writing, a friend once advised Shi Tiesheng, you can't die, you still have to write, and there are many works waiting for you to write. At this time, Shi Tiesheng really realized that people are alive, in the final analysis, desire, and people's real name is desire. Not afraid of death and wanting to die are two different things. Being afraid of living doesn't mean you don't want to live.

In order to survive, human beings should find some solid reasons to think what they can get, such as the sense of value of love. So Shi Tiesheng said: Living is not for writing, writing is for living. I only write because I'm still alive.

Extended data:

theme

Many of Shi Tiesheng's novels have strong autobiographical elements. For example, the novella Destiny is the author's spiritual autobiography. He has strong religious feelings and even profound religious philosophy. Thinking about people's redemption needs and ultimate concern and pursuing God in his works reflects that the world overthrew family ties, destroyed love, even betrayed its own conscience and beliefs, and gave up faith for the benefit. For example, the article "The Shame of the Cultural Revolution" describes that the police found a plagiarized underground novel among their friends, and "I" decided to betray my friends before the police came to the door.

Fate is endless contingency, and everything in the world is just unreasonable chaos; In this cruel and unfair world, everyone is an orphan at the mercy of others. "(God's) mercy is that as long as you go forward, he will always make way for you." Notes on Retreat records a painful soul who seeks divinity but can't reach it, criticizes utilitarianism and denies that folk qigong and geomantic omen are possible ways to seek transcendence.

condition

In the1980s, Shi Tiesheng was the first spokesman of the "educated youth complex", and his works were very popular and admired. He is the backbone of China's literary world, famous for his sincerity and regarded as a spiritual leader by avant-garde writers. The novel "Retreat Notes" published by 1995 is the first true religious philosophy novel in China literature, which has a milestone significance. However, the response of this book is scattered, and it seems that there are not many readers.

Baidu encyclopedia-Shi Tiesheng