Fortune Telling Collection - Comprehensive fortune-telling - Jokes, complete works, hilarious essays

Jokes, complete works, hilarious essays

Jokes, complete works, hilarious essays

Jokes can bring us different experiences. Jokes have certain entertainment functions. When we are in doubt, we can look at such jokes to cheer ourselves up and look at them.

Joke Daquan hilarious essay 1 1, it is said that predecessors planted trees and later generations enjoyed the cool, so I will be a gardener in my last life.

2, I take a step forward, you can't always go backwards, I also have dignity.

3, chase it if you like? Whatever, promise to be together, no promise. Anyway, you have confessed and won't lose money.

From now on, you are my queen and your minister from generation to generation.

5, jokes are short: still can't let her go, singular compound, even if it is even.

6. I never want cheap love words, nor is your feelings for me really untrue. Don't you get it, silly boy? What I like is your money.

7. I won't look back, but if you come to me, forget it!

8. Money smells good. I have smelled it, so it is a lie to say that money stinks.

9. Not only have you never run your youth, but you have never run your weight. On the court, galloping is accompanied by the jitter of the meat, and the drama of chasing the ball is staged.

10, what are you sad about? Don't be sad. Eat the chicken, man. Hey!

1 1. Thank you for giving me this opportunity. I will live up to it in my lifetime and let the chicken feathers fly to the sky.

12, things lost in Baidu can't be found, and some people have no access to the Internet.

13, I turned my head 100%. When I see a handsome guy, I turn my head.

14, it's really hard to fall in love. I want to become sworn brothers with you

15, it was buried unconsciously. -Jokes are funny and short.

16, no matter how big the throttle is, it can't catch up with the beloved woman and can't stop the lost youth. Take care, man.

17, as long as you go to bed early enough, sentimentality can't catch up with me.

18, you go south, I go north and experience all the temptations in this world. If I meet you again, I will wash my hands and make you soup.

19. Come on, you can't see it at the top of the mountain, just meet it on the mountainside.

When you are cold, come to my arms. You're not single dog. Why are you wearing so many clothes?

2 1, don't come back, your neck hurts, and turning back is harmful to your health.

22. Shoot a nocturnal bird with your gun and let my hot soul sprinkle a handful of wild urine on the frost.

If a little wine can solve the problem, you don't have to worry about tears anymore.

24. I want to sleep Please help me turn off the moon.

25. I'm not an Aquarius. I'm made of wine bottles.

26. When I hold the hand of someone who can walk with me, I won't get through this damn night.

27, hahaha, so many ex-boyfriends want to be sad, I don't know who to miss.

28. If God closes your door and closes your window, remember that God wants to turn on the air conditioner.

29. I am incompetent and can't make you like me.

30, the joke is very short, and if you can't do anything, you will withdraw money.

One day, bear planted a strawberry and mango, and found that strawberries grow so slowly. Bear said, you can't, you can't, you can't, do you hear? No, you can't do that.

I accidentally trampled an ant to death. The little ant said unjustly that it was the queen ant. Wow, we don't have a queen ant.

I found an island today ~ I am fascinated by you.

The doctor prescribed some pills for me. I accidentally knocked over the bottle and the pills crackled out. It turned out to be a good pill.

I am a crab, and my pliers are gone. I don't have pliers.

6. I heard that watching martial arts movies can reduce weight, because people often say that you are thin.

7. I am a diet pill. I can make people lose weight. I don't care about medicine. I don't care about medicine.

I am a steamed stuffed bun with condensed milk, and I lost my temper today.

9. Rice crust and mud are good friends. One day, Mud went to the rice crust house to play rice crust and asked who you were. Who are you? Mud says I am mud, and I am mud. Did you hear that? I am your father.

10, I know three kinds of berries. Strawberry misses me. Which one do you like

1 1. When I was fourteen years old, I caught a cicada and thought I had caught it all summer. Unexpectedly, cicada said, "I don't hate catching cicadas, but I like them a little."

12, even I don't care. What do you care? Hulunbeier?

13, do you like pineapple juice, strawberry juice or my baby juice?

14, I was just reported by my neighbor as disturbing the people because I was poor.

15, you don't love me at all. Iqiyi, what do you love?

16, even I don't want it, so what do you want, a meal?

17, falling in love is not that easy, everyone has his mobile phone.

18, quitting coke is actually very simple, just drink lemon juice and sigh after drinking it! Sour drinks!

19, Yang poisoning. Ouyang Feng detoxified him and said to the little dragon girl: Don't look at me just to suppress itching. Little dragon girl received: green ... green grass has become more fragrant to me?

20. Small animals have dinner, but the elephant is very angry. So this is the Meteorological Bureau.

2 1, I can't pester him with the thought that he pesters that snake every day.

22. My old colleague nailed his signature, which read "God is a girl". I asked him why he was so literary, and he said it was called "unfair heaven".

23. Why does Conan always wear that suit? Because he was afraid of being said, Oh, it's a new dress!

24.M had a fight with N, and M finally admitted his mistake because M was sorry.

25. How is the door handle of the company meeting room broken? The boss is worried.

26. If I call a toad Chuchu, is it cute? I call the coyote a wolf, and only Gina thinks it's cute.

27. "That girl, with risorius, smiles naturally." "What did you say, is the girl on the Android machine stuck laughing?"

28. You can't tell people who are afraid of dogs that life is not just about dogs in front of them, but also about dogs all over the street.

29. The crab accidentally bumped into the loach when going out for a walk. The loach is very angry: "Are you blind?" The crab is very wronged: "no, I am a crab!" " "

30. Zhang Fei escorted Liu Bei back to Jingzhou, only to be ambushed by Cao Cao's army on the road. Liu Bei fled hastily, and Lu Yu fell off a cliff. Zhang Fei shouted, "Master, stop your horse quickly!" Liu Bei: I am very happy with your mother!

3 1, I have to fill in my personal information when I enter the door, so my identity becomes a secret: "I filled it in quietly and left a little secret."

32. There is a piece of glass. A little sleepy. Then it jumped down from upstairs and said, good night, I'm broken!

I didn't stay up all night. What are you doing up late, Ollie?

34. I bought a steamed stuffed bun to eat on the way. I can't stop crying. It turned out to be a good steamed bread!

35. Once upon a time, the snake wanted the brightest gem in the world, but it couldn't get it. Snakes can't. Did you hear that? I hate to part with it.

36. The children's chocolates melted on the ground. Children say it looks like mud, like mud. Did you hear that? I miss you very much.

37. "What book did you buy?" "programming." C++ or java and Shen Congwen

38. The crab accidentally bumped into the loach when going out for a walk. The loach was very angry and said, "Are you blind?" The crab is very wronged and says, "No, I am a crab!" " "

39. Two grandfathers are playing chess. Child: Grandpa, your car is missing. Grandpa: What kind of car? It's called ju. Child: Oh, Grandpa, you rode away by yourself.

40. What did you eat today? B: There are no ducks. B: Hot and sour bamboo shoots.

One day, Xiao Ming asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?"

Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

2. A three-or four-year-old girl caught a cold and wanted to drink bitter medicine. She cried when she saw the potion, but she didn't drink it.

"Do you drink it yourself or with your father?" Dad said helplessly.

The little girl was silent for a while, then gritted her teeth and said, "water!" "

Can you speak ill of me without embellishing it? Want to cook? !

If I can remember you in my next life, I will die incompletely in my life.

Xiaoming thinks that his mother's cooking is not delicious. For this reason, Xiao Ming's mother specially reported a training class. A few months later, Xiaoming's mother beat Xiaoming for dinner with taekwondo!

Xiaoming: "Don't make friends with people in cities where the temperature is below 40 degrees."

Xiaohong: "Why?"

Xiao Ming: "Not familiar!"

6. Mrs. Gates said in an interview, "Our family never uses apple products or even eats apples."

Jobs, who was sitting by, said dismissively, "Hey, what's the big deal? Our house doesn't even have windows. "

Zuckerberg said, "Do you dare not face it?"

7. When a man doesn't have a girlfriend, he goes to a fortune teller and makes a divination.

The fortune teller said, "You are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life." .

The man's eyes lit up. "What about the rest of his life?"

"You'll get used to it for the rest of your life," said the fortune teller.

8. The ant married the elephant, but the elephant died a few days later. The ant was very sad and cried while burying the elephant: "Dear, why did you walk in front of me?" I don't have to do anything in my life, so I buried you. "

9. I went from nothing to assets of over 100 million, from family to luxury car villa. These are not dependent on others, but entirely on ourselves, bit by bit.

10, my dream is to save 1 million, and now I'm halfway done and have saved 100.

1 1, remember, dear, the good-looking ones are called coquetry, and the ugly ones are called running wild.

12, others look good when they smile, but you are different. You look funny.

13, Xiao Ming: Come and see, come and see, I'm on TV!

Xiao Wang: What do you do on TV when you are free? Come down, don't step on the TV!

14. The teacher is bald. Once in class, he said, "What if my left hand is positive and my right hand is negative?" The deskmate replied, "Your skull will light up."

15, Xiao Ming: I saw the photo you sent me. Did you eat steamed bread at noon?

Xiaohong: I ate steamed buns! Take a beautiful picture and remove the wrinkles. ...