Jokes A complete set of jokes to amuse your girlfriend.

1. Every dormitory has one who grinds his teeth, one who snores, one who talks in his sleep, and one who sleeps the latest, but look at the whole room.

Second, I was a dog in my last life, otherwise I wouldn't be poor, ugly, busy, tired, fat, short, crying and frozen.

Daughter-in-law: If Fan Bingbing and I fall into the river one day, who will you save first? Husband: Save you first, of course. She has nothing to do with me! Daughter-in-law: What if she says she will marry you if you save him first? Husband: That won't do either. What if she lies to me? Daughter-in-law: the special code of capital preservation!

Fourth, I read a lot about the disadvantages of staying up late on the Internet. The biggest change for me is that I have changed from a happy staying up late to a fearful staying up late.

5. My wife sent me a text message and asked, Honey, what are you doing? I'm going back: I'm exhausted from work. When will you come back from your business trip? She: I'm back. I stand behind you. Your uniform and beard were great just now! Oh, I'll go!

6. Many people say that if they can't tell fortune, they will get thinner and thinner. However, sometimes we have to believe. The fortune teller used to say that I was 27 years old and wore a yellow robe. Every day, there is food and transportation. It's so accurate to deliver takeout in the US Mission now!

7. The wife saw her son's playfulness and said, "Mom will test you. If you know, I will let you play. If not, I will do my homework. " The wife then asked, "How much is 4 plus 16?" Son: "20" Daughter-in-law took out a dollar and said, "What a coincidence, just come out so soon. Give you a dollar to buy popsicles. " Son: "Mom, ask a few more questions!" " I asked my father to do the math. "I heard a sour nose. It really is my son. I know that my distressed father has no pocket money.

8. Ideals are like underwear. There should be, but it can't prove that everyone has it!

When I say "whatever", I mean: I'm too lazy to think, and I can't think of anything good. It's up to you, but you must come up with something that I am satisfied with.

Ten, boys and girls sit together, the girl fell asleep at the window, the boy kissed the girl's face, and the girl woke up. What a beautiful picture, if they know each other

Every time I don't want to study, I tell myself in the mirror that I must study hard like this, otherwise others will say that that person has nothing but beauty.

12. The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

Thirteen, I always believe that I will be thin. Now I'm just playing with fat, but I'm playing with it

If you are always disappointed, you should reflect on why you have such great hope.

Fifteen, the company can take the other half to dinner. As soon as the boss announced it, Lingling, who was usually silent, spoke. Lingling said weakly, "Can I take someone else's husband?" Everyone in the company was shocked at once! The boss said: "It is reasonable to say that the company should not take care of your personal problems, but I still remind you not to play with fire and set yourself on fire." "Oh, just this once. It won't happen again. " Hearing this, Lingling quickly picked up her mobile phone and dialed: "Dad, mom is not at home. Don't cook by yourself. The company has a dinner party. Come and eat. "

16. Don't save money at the most beautiful age, or others will think you are not only ugly, but also poor.

Nowadays, when people talk about going to bed, they actually want to lie in bed and play with their mobile phones. If they get up, they will also sit on the toilet and play with their mobile phones.

If you are really hungry, you can call me and I will grab a snack for you to chew.

I just graduated in my 19 s and 20 s, and the salary gap is a little small. Calm down and get used to it when the wage gap in your thirties is getting bigger and bigger.

A best friend is always a wallet. When we are thin, we feel extremely distressed.

21. Stop complaining that you can't find a suitable person among1400 million people. You can't find one of the four options in the exam.

Twenty-two, every morning after I get up, I will silently encourage myself: even you have done such a difficult thing to get up, what can stump you the next day!

Twenty-three, those who look good and like to eat are called foodies, and those who look bad and like to eat are called gits!

Twenty-four, I have a learning heart, but I have a failed life; I have a heart to lose weight, but I live a life of eating goods. Horizontal criticism: I can't help myself.