I found a girlfriend in Hunan (three towns of Xinhuangliang, Huaihua). I want to know what the customs are and how much deposit I need to get married.

Ancient women were often "born in a boudoir, and no one knows whether they are beautiful or not." After the blind date, the man often asks to have a look. This activity is called "meeting relatives", and the man goes to the woman's house for the first time under the matchmaker's non-staple food. It was dubbed "blind date".

The date of the blind date is set by the matchmaker in advance and notified to both men and women, so both sides should be prepared. The man should prepare a little gift according to the hobby of the woman's parents; Women should clean the courtyard and get ready for guests. As parties, both men and women should try to dress elegantly and resplendent, so as to leave a good "first impression" on each other.

Seeing relatives is the key to the success of marriage, especially the man, so be careful. Although gifts are nothing more than alcohol, tobacco and snacks, regardless of the quantity and value, you must give them what you like and not violate the taboos of the other parents; Dressing should be generous and fashionable; Be modest and polite in your words and deeds. In ancient times, when men met relatives, they could only rely on matchmakers to create opportunities to secretly see girls. It's different now. Both men and women can talk directly. Both sides have the opportunity to have a preliminary understanding of each other.

China is a "state of propriety and righteousness", and it pays attention to implication. The results of visiting relatives are often not directly expressed, but expressed through various hints. In many places, after the man enters the door, the woman's parents first pour the young man a cup of hot tea. Seeing that the girl was amused, the young man drank this cup of tea in one gulp. Then the girl's parents discuss with the girl. If they agree to get married, they will leave the man for dinner with the matchmaker. If they don't agree, they will let the man leave and go home. Some parents even asked the matchmaker to take away the gifts brought by the man.

In some areas, besides visiting relatives, there is also the custom of "observing others". In fact, "visiting others" is also to visit relatives. The man was led by the matchmaker to the woman's home where he had seen the girl, and the woman's parents temporarily refused to express their views on the marriage, and then the matchmaker took him back to the man's home. Qiyang area is called "Kandang". Look at that time, the man's parents should offer a cup of fragrant tea first, and then talk to the woman's parents. The wife's parents visited the man's house and talked with the man's parents. If they agree to the marriage, they will drink all the fragrant tea. The man's parents immediately regarded him as "in-laws" and warmly entertained the guests. Otherwise, the woman's parents should get up and leave, and the man should not stay.

Genius articles

After "seeing one's relatives" and "seeing one's death", it is necessary to perform the engagement formalities, commonly known as "gift".

The first step of "Li Guo" is that the matchmaker sends the man's birthday to the woman, and the woman's eighth birthday to the man. Some superstitious parents think that they are responsible for their children's marriage, and often ask the fortune teller to calculate after receiving the red post to see if the "date of birth" of both parties is consistent, if not; Marriage will be reconsidered. Fortunately, most modern people don't believe this, so even if red posts are exchanged, they are often just a form, and some even avoid the form of changing posts.

After "changing posts" and "matching eight characters", the matchmaker should choose a good date and get engaged with the man as a gift. Giving gifts is a big deal. Generally, the active person (male or female) who gets married should give each other a heavy gift. The gift should at least include a pig elbow, a pair of wine, a chicken and a duck, and a suit for other parents. A pair of shoes and socks, a package, and some things for girls. How much money to seal in the envelope and what engagement gift to give the girl are generally negotiated by the matchmaker in advance, not as much as the man (or woman) can give. Of course, the parents of the man or woman should also try their best to think of each other, strive to be frugal and accept less dowry.

After the ceremony, both men and women can agree on a date to go to the local government for a marriage certificate and formally confirm the marriage relationship. Modern laws and regulations stipulate that both men and women should go to the hospital for premarital examination before getting a marriage certificate; There are also some areas (mainly cities) that require premarital classes. These are all effective measures to ensure prenatal and postnatal care and ensure the quality of the population, which should be followed.

Choose auspicious items

After the marriage certificate is completed, both men and women have legally established a legal relationship between husband and wife. However, in China, this is only the first step in marriage. According to the traditional practice, the parents of the active party should choose an auspicious day to get married, and the matchmaker should inform the other party to get married. It's called "choosing good luck" and "sending the day".

Generally speaking, you can consult an astrologer or fortune teller to choose a suitable date, or you can choose a date by reading an encyclopedia (nicknamed "almanac", commonly known as "family calendar" and traditionally called "imperial calendar"). Those with a high level of education can do their own calculations. It is generally believed that as long as the "Liuhe" corresponds, it is a good day. Such as "Bing Yin Ri".

After the date is selected, the two sides will send out wedding invitations and invite relatives and friends to attend the wedding.

Invitations are usually given by married people or their parents to relatives and friends in person. After receiving the invitation to the wedding banquet, relatives and friends should generally come to congratulate them, except that they can only give gifts under special circumstances and cannot attend. Before you congratulate, you should prepare gifts. The number of gifts depends on the relationship between everyone and the host, the depth of friendship, and my financial conditions. Generally, people who send men pay cash and "wrap" it with red paper. Generally, congratulations should be written on the packaging label.

The envelope contains cash, and the paper money should be folded one by one, with the bottom facing up. The words "Congratulations to XXX" or "Congratulations to XXX" are written on the bottom of the paper money, which is called "hanging inside" for the convenience of household registration.

Gifts for women are mostly in kind, but they can also be replaced by red envelopes, which is called "marriage assistance". Most furniture is boxes, cabinets, beds, quilts, tableware, clothes and so on. Gifts for women are often given by relatives and friends as soon as they hear the news, without waiting for invitations. Because the woman's parents should decide the scale of "wedding wine" according to the number of gifts given.

Wedding supplies

When the wedding is just around the corner, both men and women will kill pigs and chickens, prepare the wedding banquet, and ask handymen such as chefs, bridesmaids, bearers, accountants and touts to help with the work. After applying, these people should start working in the main room the day before the wedding to prepare for the wedding reception.

The traditional wedding is usually the "wedding reception" at the woman's house in the morning and the wedding reception at the man's house at noon. If it is a husband (recruiting a husband-a man goes to the woman's house), the opposite is true.

After everything was ready, Yanari, a man, played music and sent a sedan chair to greet the bride. Matchmaker's guide