When I was 9 years old, I was picked up by my godfather.

In the summer when I was 9 years old, my father decided to take us to the zoo at the instigation of my uncle. This is our first time to go to the zoo, so we are naturally very excited. You know, our family has basically enough to eat and wear, and our parents have been busy making money to support their families. They have no time or spare money to take us to places that need money, such as the zoo.

Before that, the only place I have been to is Fenghua Xikou, which was a spring outing organized by the school in the first year of high school. The teacher asked the sixth-grade students to take us, one by one, and told us to follow closely and not to wander around. On the cloudy day of the spring outing, we climbed the mountain on the gravel road. The road up the mountain is not small, only one lane wide. There should be a mountain stream on the right and left of the mountain. Because of the fog, I can't see the bottom, but several clusters of red azaleas are particularly bright and not affected by the fog at all, showing the vitality of life. I looked up and saw the fog on the top of the mountain, the fog on the left side of the mountain stream, and the birds singing happily in my ear, as if I had come to a fairyland on earth. I can't forget such a beautiful picture. When I was able to go to Xikou again, I always wanted to find the way up the mountain, but unfortunately there was no trace.

With such a wonderful travel experience, now we can see the real tiger, and the trip to the zoo has excited us for several days. There are four brothers and sisters in our family, three brothers and sisters in my uncle's family, plus my father and uncle, there are two adults and seven children. I have a vague memory of the process of playing ball, probably because what happened later made me unforgettable.

02

We need to take three buses to go home, and the last one is the No.6 bus. We wait at the No.6 bus stop. "Come on, come on, let's seize the time to grab seats." I exclaimed, I was the first to get on the bus. I had to stand when I saw there was no place. People are still excited. The zoo is really interesting. I was about to talk to my sister, but I couldn't find her. When I looked around, I was shocked. They are all strangers. Where are my father, uncle, brother, sister and brother? I panicked. Through the back window of the bus, I saw a No.6 bus behind me. My brother is standing next to the driver. I waved at my brother and shouted at him, and the passengers around me looked at me discontentedly.

I realized that I was separated from them, and they didn't get on the bus! I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. I found that my brother couldn't see me and heard my crying. I stared at the bus behind me. The bus stopped and stopped, but it was soon blocked by other buses. I couldn't see my brother. Did they get off? I got off the bus as soon as it stopped. There are many people at the station, but I can't find my relatives. I ran to the side again. I don't know where they are or where I'm going to find them. After running for a while, I stopped and realized that I really couldn't find them. I'm lost.

The sunset shone on my face through the leaves. I cried in a hurry. I don't know what to do. My crying attracted onlookers. There are more and more people watching. A middle-aged woman came forward and asked me what was wrong. I told the story off and on, thinking that she would try to help me find my father. At that time, I pinned all my hopes on her, but as soon as she asked, she took a step back and went back to the crowd to talk about me with the people on the side. Looking at the onlookers whispering and looking at me sympathetically, I cried even more, because I didn't know what to do, how to go home and how to let my father know that I was here.

03

Later, when I was tired of crying, I stopped crying. I just stood there, panicked. This feeling is really terrible. I was nine years old then. In the early 1990s, my knowledge was very narrow. Most adults go to work by bike and it takes half an hour by bus. I don't know what the phone is, and I know there is a police uncle, but I haven't seen it. Nobody told me what to do in this situation. In retrospect, I wonder why those onlookers didn't call the police. Although there were no mobile phones and few telephones at that time, it was very convenient to take me to the police station in a place like the city. But at that time, I didn't seem to ask the onlookers for help. Maybe I was afraid, maybe I didn't know I could ask for help at all.

I don't know how long it took, but the onlookers didn't retreat. At this time, a middle-aged man came up to me, squatted down and said to me, "Little girl, have you lost your family?" I nodded. "Will you come with me? You must be hungry. My uncle will take you to buy delicious food. " I didn't speak, because I subconsciously still felt that I couldn't keep up with him. I don't even know him. The middle-aged man went on to say a lot. I didn't listen carefully and didn't answer. I just stood silently with my head down, and my tears began to spin again.

After a short silence, the middle-aged man spoke again: "Little girl, it's getting dark. If you don't come with me, the police uncle will come to arrest you. " I looked up at the sky, and there was only the afterglow of the sunset on the horizon. It was naive and dark, which aggravated my fear. I heard that I was going to be taken away by the police uncle, and I trembled all over. I saw a flash of surprise in his eyes, and then I said, "Go home with your uncle. He's not a bad guy. I'll take you to your father tomorrow."

When night came, when I was in endless fear, his appearance made me see hope, and I chose to believe him. I didn't answer him, just nodded, and he smiled and took my hand and left.

04

He asked my name and bought me bread and water. After eating, my fear disappeared a little. While waiting for the bus, I looked at him, with a straight suit and a briefcase in his hand. He should be older than his father, with a pair of single eyelids and his eyes narrowed when he smiled. But I always think the way he looks at me is strange. I can't say what's wrong, but I don't feel well. I dare not look him in the eye.

After waiting for a while, we got on a bus, and there were no seats left. The conductor gave her seat to us. He held me in his lap and rubbed his right hand back and forth on my arm. I shrank my hand in fear, and the whole person was stiff. He kissed my face again and put his right hand on my arm casually. I tried to withdraw my arm, but he held me tightly and couldn't move. I looked at the passengers around me nervously. It may be dark, so I can't see any expressions on their faces.

The bus stopped several times on the road, and some passengers got off one after another, so there were some empty seats on the bus. I looked at the empty seats and wanted to sit down alone. But how to get down? So I managed to get to the terminal. I got off the bus for ten minutes and walked into a barber shop on the street. I was wondering when the man with the hair dryer turned his head and said, "Dad, you're back. Hey, who is this little girl? " "I picked it up on the road. We haven't eaten yet. Let's talk about it after dinner. "

He took me into the back kitchen. The food on the table is still hot. He gave me a meal and stuttered. After a while, a boy older than me came in and asked, "Who are you?" ? How to eat at my house? Why don't I know you? "I don't know how to answer. It's no good holding a rice bowl and not eating or eating. " Xiaojun, where did you get so many questions? Go to the factory and call your mother back. "

05

"Are there any guests at home?" With a loud voice, a middle-aged woman caught my eye. She is tall and thin and very capable. He gave her a brief account of the process of finding me. In front of my client, I think his story is a bit exaggerated. "Then we will go to the police station to report tomorrow. People must be worried about losing their children. Come, I'll take you to take a bath first. " The hostess took me to the bathroom to take a bath. I haven't changed my clothes. All the children in this family are sons, so I can only find my youngest son's vest shorts for me to wear.

The hostess put the water away and undressed me. She looked at me in surprise when she saw a big patch on the crotch of my shorts. My face turned red in an instant, and I hope there is a crack in the ground that I can get into. I was heartbroken. Why did I wear a pair of broken shorts when I went out today? Although the conditions at home are not good, not all shorts have patches.

After taking a shower, they asked me what my name was, what my parents' names were, and where I lived. Let me write it down on paper. After some inquiries, everyone in the family is here. It turned out that they had four sons, who were reunited by divorced families. The eldest son, the second son, is the owner's own son, the third son and the youngest son, and is the hostess's own son. The eldest son and the second son are married. The third son and the youngest son each have a junior high school and a primary school. My third son is five years older than me, and my youngest son is two years older than me. This barber shop is owned by my second son.

The next day, the hostess took me to buy clothes and daily necessities. Because their home is a storefront house along the street, neighbors all open stores, but they sell different things. On this day, I spent it in the crowd. I heard that this family picked up a girl and some busybodies came to watch. I heard some clues from their words. To put it bluntly, it is nothing more than asking about the process of my being picked up. I said the man is kind and praised the woman for her good life. I have a son at home. Now I have found a daughter and adopted her. If you get along well with your son in the future, you will become a wife. If you don't get along, you are a daughter.

06

On the third day, the hostess took my youngest son and me to their factory. It turns out that their family is engaged in food processing business, processing pickled products such as wax gourd, pickles and Chinese cabbage. It is also very famous in the local area, known as the "Three Smelly Kings", specializing in stinky white gourd, stinky amaranth tube and stinky cabbage. The man saw me on the way back from business talks with the supermarket that day and took me back with threats and cajoles.

I've been lost for three days, and I don't seem so homesick. I even wonder if my parents will come to me, because my family is seriously patriarchal. They gave birth to my second sister and me just to give birth to my younger brother. My little brother is the darling of the family, and my second sister and I work as coolies at home. We had to help wash clothes and cook at an early age. I seem like a dispensable person at home. Is it possible to lighten the burden without my family? Father's love and mother's love are luxuries for me. My mother will only care about whether my brother has enough to eat and clothes to keep warm, and she will always blame and insult my second sister. Dad seldom scolds us, but he seldom asks us.

That night, we sat in the living room on the second floor and watched TV. Suddenly, a man appeared looking for you, with my father and my name on it, describing my clothes and the general location where I lost them. Brother Xiaojun pointed at the TV and asked me, "Is this about you? Your father is looking for you. " I didn't expect to be on TV at the meeting, but I appeared in Looking for You.

The afternoon after watching Looking for You, my mother, my aunt and my uncle came to pick me up and asked me to be the godfather and godmother. I learned from my aunt that my mother has been in Lacrimosa since I got lost. On the day I got lost, my father and uncle looked for me station by station. Because I ran far away, they didn't find me. My relatives spontaneously looked for me everywhere. Besides looking for you on TV, there is also a radio broadcast. My mother also found a famous fortune teller nearby and asked him to calculate whether I was still alive or not and whether I could come back safely.

This time, I feel that I am real and my parents love me, which has greatly improved my little cognition.

07

It's summer vacation, and school starts again. The students obviously saw this search for you on TV, and they all came around to talk to me. I'm vague and confused. Later, the teacher called me to the office, and I was really curious. I told the whole story, but I don't want to disclose specific details. Seeing that I didn't answer any questions, the teacher stopped giving me a hard time.

The winter vacation is coming soon, and my father sent me to my godmother's house for the New Year. My godmother is very happy, and my godfather seems happier to see me.

One morning, I didn't get up because I was sleepy. Suddenly, I felt someone pulling my quilt and getting into it. I was about to shout when a hand covered my mouth. I watched it intently as a godfather. He sneaked into my room, into my room. What am I doing? I looked at him in horror, and he motioned me not to make any noise with his hand. Then he put his hand under the bed and touched my ass. I froze and forgot to shout. Slowly, his hand touched my private parts, and my whole body stood on end. I didn't dare to shout loudly, so I grabbed his hand for fear that my dopted mother and brothers would hear me. After a while, he withdrew his hand, gave me a dissatisfied look back and went out.

Since then, I dare not sleep late. I heard my brother get up next door, so I got up with him. I am looking forward to my father coming to take me home. Although my godmother and brother are very kind to me, they eat well and live well here, but I don't like my godfather! Don't like him at all.

In the following years, during the winter and summer vacations, my father sent me to the godmother's house for a few days. I said I didn't want to go, which made it difficult for my father to understand. I said one should have a conscience. Your godmother likes you so much that they will be very happy if you live there. Although I have been on guard against my godmother, I always let him seize the opportunity to touch me and kiss me. I don't call him godfather after others, but I always stare at him with angry eyes. I want to say something to my godmother several times, but I don't know how to say it when it comes to my mouth, and I don't know if my godmother will believe me. My days in their house became a kind of torture.

08

Later, when I went to junior high school, I refused to live in their house, and every time I went back and forth on the same day. Dopted mother was sad to see that I refused to stay, thinking that I didn't like her. Dad was sorry for dopted mother, and when he came home, he accused me of being ignorant and heartless.

So far, my parents and godmother don't know about it. Although I have had the urge to say it a thousand times in the past ten years, I can't say it. After all, I still thank my godfather, not because he picked me up at that time, so I'm not sure I will worry about my life. But I won't forgive the harm he brought me, and let me spend my childhood in fear and trepidation, and once doubted and denied myself.

Later, I asked my sister why they didn't get on the bus. She said that because dad saw a lot of people on the No.6 bus, there was a No.6 bus behind, so wait for the next one. I got on the bus in a hurry and didn't hear my father's voice at all. But I clearly saw my brother standing next to the driver. How can there be fewer people? That's because your brother was excited and said to see clearly in front of the station. . .

Now my daughter is three years old. I asked her to recite our cell phone number and home address from childhood, and told her not to panic when she and her parents got lost, and asked the police uncle for help. The police uncle catches bad guys, but he will not hesitate to help us when we are in trouble.