When there are always people around you who can't see how you are.

I want to write this topic. Because my mother told me that she had a friend, and she had been her best friend for many years. Talking to her at ordinary times always suppresses her. For example, this girlfriend came over and asked herself, Tommy, how many years has your daughter worked? My mother answered truthfully that this best friend would roll her eyes. Oh ... it's not much more than my Shuai Shuai.

Then there is another neighbor in my family who is very competitive. Her son has never studied hard, and I have studied well since I was a child. But in junior high school, because of rebellion, I lost my front foot in the senior high school entrance examination. Did not do well in the exam. Then the neighbors came to my house happily after hearing the news and discussed with my mother to "buy high school" together. When I was a child, I couldn't get into high school, so I can buy it. It seems that I'm one point short of 200,6000. Later, one of my neighbors who was a teacher got the grapevine. Although my grades are not enough for the western front, they are enough for the eastern front. In other words, don't buy. Then this brother Lei Lei's mother fell down on the spot and left without talking to her mother for a long time.

I made a friend in junior high school. She is very competitive. She will be unhappy if she gets more grades than her, and she will be unhappy if she dresses better than her. Even if the beautiful hairstyle attracts more attention, she will not be happy. It's not that she doesn't take me as a friend, but that's her character. Aggression trumps everything. And I happen to be the person around her.

One of the reasons for unhappiness is jealousy. Unfortunately, jealousy is more used to treat people around you, such as relatives, friends and neighbors. You have this kind of jealousy, and so do I. We will envy those who are much better than us. And jealousy belongs to people who are similar to us, but later become better than us. We don't care how hard he works and how much he has paid to get better. Some people's "jealousy" will become their own motivation. And some people's "jealousy" will make themselves ugly and hide the kindness of others.

Crab containers never need to be covered, because as long as one crab tries to climb out, other crabs will drag it down without hesitation. Crabs don't know that a dead end awaits them. But we should know. Let's not make friends that drag us down, let alone be people that drag us down.

02

How can I be a "good person"? First of all, we must understand why it is not good to know others. I used to feel anxious when my friends were better than me, and then I would blame myself. Aren't you friends? Shouldn't you be as happy as her? But this is not the case. Anxiety is real, because the Excellence of friends sets off their ordinary. In the already anxious graduation season, I am more anxious to see my friends find a good way out, and I am afraid that the gap between myself and my friends will widen. Of course, I know that my friend's Excellence is earned by my own efforts, and I also have my own Excellence. It's just that I was quite at a loss at that time, and I didn't know where to break through myself. I could only feel meaningless anxiety.

Later, I slowly found my own value in my work, and this anxiety disappeared. No matter how good others are, I will not panic, because I have firm confidence in myself. I began to really love myself. I began to really accept myself and appreciate myself. Willing to live in harmony with people around you. In short, the heart is gradually improved, and there is no need to ask the outside world for a sense of existence and value, and there is no need to suppress others to set off their own value.

In the new year, the first thing is to find your own value. The second thing is to find someone you want and accept him as he is. Many people don't know what they want. Purely pursuing "perfection". I can always find something worse than "Lao Wang next door" in my other half. The fact is, if you really give Lao Wang next door to her, she can still find a lot of faults.

Therefore, being bad to others is not a matter of personality. It is our nature to be human. Realizing this is the first step to polish yourself and improve yourself.

03

I know that relatives and friends can't hide us, so it's not a matter of personality. It's just that after they want to find a sense of existence. We don't really have to worry about relatives.

After understanding this truth, when Lei Lei's mother came to my house to play yesterday, I volunteered: Auntie, my mother envies you to death every day. Look, you're a grandmother, and I'm not married. Lei Lei's mother didn't expect me to expose my shortcomings by myself. At first, she paused, and immediately smiled and said, no, you are so beautiful that you can definitely find a good one. I went on to say, "I saw Lei Lei's circle of friends basking in the house they bought in Hangzhou. I heard from my brother that Lei Lei lost1100,000 last year. You see, your Lei Lei is really promising. Look at me. I am the same age as Lei Lei, but I am far behind him. " Lei Lei's mother was a little stunned by me: No, no, it's better than your education. You're still in college. Lei Lei hasn't studied as well as you since he was a child. I went on to say: What's the use of going to school now? You see, Lei Lei's two children have settled in Hangzhou, and I am still floating, and then I envy them. Lei Lei's mother then rushed over to encourage me, meaning that you should not sell yourself short and work hard. You are not bad.

In fact, everyone is not that bad. Don't they all want to exist as much as we do

Last week, I came back from the county seat by car and met my little mother. Little mother is famous for her strong defense. Small hair and super beautiful. High nose, big eyes, small cherry mouth, height 1.7 m, weight 100 kg, straight legs and long legs. People are still very smart. Growing up, everything was better than me. Later, after school, she didn't like reading much. My grades have been worse than mine. Later, I dropped out of school and went out to work, and I took a fancy to a young man in the countryside. Because of the poor family conditions, the little mother refused to live or die, and her daughter agreed when she was pregnant. Because we grew up playing, although I didn't live very well myself. But when my mother saw me, she was very sad.

I take the initiative to chat with my little mother, who always ignores me. After chatting for a while, I began to find something delicious for me to eat. Because I've been blackmailing her. I said, my mother was worried to death by me. The little mother's curiosity was aroused: what do you say? I said I would be a big problem. My little mother turned to comfort me. You need to find a good one I said: I also want to find a good one, so easy to find. My little mother confided to me: You said that my Yun Yun didn't listen to me, and I found such a person, and I didn't have any money. My home is still in the countryside. If she listens to me, she will find someone better than this. I comforted her: How can you think so? To be poor and rich, it is most important to have a good relationship with her other half. It is better to find a rich man to break his head than to have no money. Being an old man is just to make your children happy. The little mother said: You are right, it is true that the couple live together, and good feelings are the most important. No matter how much money you have, it's useless.

In this way, I successfully resolved the "grudges" with my neighbor Lei Lei's mother and my little mother. Make them very comfortable, and I feel very relieved myself.

For relatives and friends who only meet once a year. For each other's happiness. Just "self-blackening." When you start to feel ashamed of yourself, you will find that they are quite cute and will comfort you in turn.

04

What should friends around you, especially close friends, do if they can't see you?

You must have a correct judgment first. Judge whether your kindness is true or false, whether you are really happy or carried away. Judging from this, friends really can't see how you are, or just care about you.

Second, you must understand. Because each of us has a little bit of "bad for others" in our bones. Only some people are more obvious and uncontrollable. "Good people who can't hide others" often have a common feature, that is, ta is weak in heart, and ta can't achieve self-identity and self-improvement. Therefore, we must gain a sense of existence and value by comparing with the people around us. Therefore, it is understandable that ta can't be nice to others. Because others are good, it will affect ta's own good.

Our core solution is to try to be a "good person" and then find similar friends.

PS: If you are really "good", you should learn to show weakness. Isn't there a saying that when others are hungry, it is a kindness not to eat by yourself.