Classic quotations of self-mockery

Lead: Every year a person grows up and matures, he becomes smarter. The following are the classic quotations I collected about poking fun at myself. Welcome to read them for reference!

Making fun of my classic quotation 1, they said I was BT and asked me to do CT, but I turned out to be ET.

Just because I don't hurt others doesn't mean I can't stand being hurt by others! Just because I don't hit others doesn't mean I can't stand being hit! I would rather be cheated standing than kneeling. This is a real Zhou Libo! ! I would rather pay the price for unruly than consume my personality for wealth.

I am not KFC, I can eat all over the world, and I am not Adidas, I can run all over the world.

4. I don't lose my temper, but I don't lose my temper easily;

I'm not a fortune teller on the overpass, so I can't say so many things you like to hear.

6. I am not the richest actor, but I want to be the most caring actor.

7. I don't like to explain myself with the time to prove myself. I prefer to use time to prove myself and explain myself.

8. I can't do that. It's ugly. Wow, the action is so big, I brought a single pipe ~ ~

9. I was beaten by my mother for eating.

10, the heart is a little small, but it is not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it!

1 1, I was naive, and I am still naive. Innocence is: sincerity every day, innocence is not fantasy, nor arrogance. It's always good to take your time.

12, I shine in this beautiful moment as a superman. Don't disturb mortals?

13, I thought I was decadent. Today, I realized that my morning paper was scrapped.

14, I want to be a man of status, I want to be a strong man, I want to be a man of character, not such a tramp.

15, people like me are ugly, have poor figure, poor work, have no courage and perseverance, are timid, have no special skills, can't speak, are fond of playing, can't even learn makeup well, have no ambition, and are afraid of difficulties and failure. Well, I really don't know what to do in the future.

16, because yours is not necessarily someone else's! So, say what others say! Put your own music stand and let others sing!

17, no one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

18, I haven't encountered adversity since I learned to roll with the punches.

19, I know my photos very well. People often ask my mother for my photos. Why? In fact, I am very good at exorcism now, and I couldn't stand it when I was a child.

20. Yao Ming is height, Liu Xiang is speed, and I am? Governor? . ? Governor? Not a derogatory term, I am willing to do it for everyone? Governor? .

Funny quotations about teasing 1. Did you get drunk by Sanlu?

2, you are crazy, I am stupid. I'm so entangled that I have no teeth!

You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come into the world to find the other half, and I finally found you after a lot of hardships. Only to find that our wings are smooth!

4. When you go out, there are no birds in hundreds of mountains and no footprints in thousands of paths.

5. In the morning, you approached my bed gently and kissed my face affectionately. Your deep eyes have been staring at me, and I really can't refuse you. Be a good dog and take you for a walk? .

6, people outside the classroom, reading is not as good as falling in love. The teacher asked him why? For future generations.

7. Since I met you, you should be very clear about your position in my heart. Except you, everyone else is a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different because you are. . . Two piles of shit

8. If you are a fish, I would like to catch you with a fishing net; If you are that mountain, I would like to be a river on the side of the mountain, and I would like to walk around you; If you are a steamed stuffed bun, then I am a bowl of mutton soup, and I want to soak you.

9. If it is a mistake to be beautiful, then I am all wet; If being smart is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime, and it is really difficult to be a human being. But you're fine. You are right and innocent. I really envy you!

10, God created you because of his creativity, and it is your courage that you can live in this world.

1 1, Top Secret Document of the 16th National Congress: In order to improve the national quality, the State Council decided to sweep away a group of ugly and incompetent youths. You should pack your things and go out to take refuge at once. Don't thank me, pay attention to safety quickly!

12, handsome, I'm eighteen or nineteen this year, and I haven't found a girlfriend yet. Everyone is shopping hand in hand, and I am holding hands with my left hand!

13, who looks really natural.

14, how far your thoughts are, how far you roll; You can roll as fast as the speed of light

15, the weather is hot and cold. In this season, I feel calm and always miss you far away. I would like to keep a homing pigeon and let it fly to your place every day, even if all I can do is a simple action: pull a shit on your head!

16, the world is big, but it is bigger than the brain you lack.

17, dare not say I love you. I am afraid that I will die soon. I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid that when I die, no one will love you like me!

18, on behalf of the CPC Central Committee, the State Council, the National People's Congress, the Central Military Commission and the offices of Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan, I strongly protest to you: Why didn't Taiwan Province Province appear on the map of China left after you wet your bed last night? ! ! Remember to make it up tonight.

19, I must make you the second happiest person in the world-because of you, I am already the happiest person!

20, miss you, miss you so much, find a painter to draw for you, stick you in a cup, drink water every day and kiss you.

2 1, I want to bite you, but unfortunately I am a Muslim.

22, boy, what's the matter today? Did you take the wrong medicine when you went out? Or did you forget to take your medicine?

23. A pair of flies and their mother are eating. The son frowned and asked his mother: Mom, why do we eat shit every day? Mom said:? Don't say such disgusting things while eating, eat while it's hot! ?

24, a monk carrying water to drink, two monks carrying water to drink, the classic story is hard to forget, deeply imprinted in my heart. Now, there is also a temple in the mountain, and there is also an old man in the temple, but the old man is smirking with his mobile phone. Curse words

The more poisonous, the better.

25. A cricket and a pig bet that if I jump into the grass, you can't see me. The pig said, what if I can see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pig is watching, the pig is watching! The pig is still watching! Why is the pig still watching?

Friendship means a lot to me. I cry when you cry, and I laugh when you laugh. I will stick my head out without hesitation when you jump from a tall building. Wow, I'm not dead! ?

27. Clouds need clothes and flowers. I'm thinking your face is red.

28. Do you really want to put my size 4 1 shoes on your size 42 face at once?