Laugh till your stomach hurts.

1. People used to say that I have small eyes, but I still don't believe it. Finally 1 day, I lay on the sofa and watched TV. Suddenly, my mother came back and turned off the TV, and then quietly covered me with a quilt.

2. Have a daughter, there are many choices in the future. You can be a legitimate blonde, angels in white or a housewife, but there is only one choice to have a son: self-reliance.

The so-called perfect marriage is that the man is finished and the woman is beautiful.

There is always such a person, which we call "well"-that is to say, it means two anyway.

5. "What's your specialty?" "I burned ... boiled water is not bad."

6. The feeling of taking the courier is like reuniting with your long-lost flesh and blood, but you often find that the child is very similar to Lao Wang next door after being disassembled.

7. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is a small fire and marriage is a big fire.

8. Let me tell you how to dress well. First, you should look good. Secondly, you should have a good figure. The most important thing is to look good and have a good figure!

9. When watching TV, the sudden appearance of advertisements is not hateful. What is really hateful is that after the long advertisement, there is an ending song.

10. Do you want a discount? Say my name and I promise to break your bones!

1 1. When I have money, I will buy two BMWs to clear the way in front, and I will go to work by bike in the back.

12. I'm not a fortune teller on the overpass, so I can't say so many things you like to hear.

13. I'm sorry that your mobile phone kills you every day!

14. When the value of the decorations on your body exceeds your intrinsic value, you are fashionable.

15. There are three kinds of interpersonal relationships among girls: those that can be seen without washing their hair, those that can be seen after washing their hair, and those that they don't want to see after washing their hair.

16. At first glance, you are not so good. If you look carefully, you might as well take a quick look.

17. Bus crowding is a comprehensive sport including Sanda, yoga, judo and balance beam.

18. Boys' love is like pie, piece by piece; Girls' love is like wind chimes, which come and go.

19. Some people stay in bed because they have money, and they can sleep as late as they want. I stay in bed because I have no money, so I can save a meal, not a meal.

20. There are always some people in life who try their best to get close to you every day and chat with you late into the night, in fact, just to steal your expression pack.

2 1. It was dark at night and I suddenly wanted to study, but it was already dawn when I found the candle. ...

22. The most contradictory place between lovers is dreaming about each other's future, but thinking about each other's past.

23. When you stop to have a rest, don't forget that others are still running, so please try to trip him up with your legs!

24. The biggest sorrow in life is that youth is gone and acne is still there.

25. I finally understand why the military training at the beginning of school has to be turned around, because only in this way can we get a more even grandson.

26. What can be achieved is called talent, and what cannot be achieved is called agility.

27. Just out of the community gate in the morning, a five-or six-year-old girl hugged my thigh and cried and said, Uncle, marry me! I was in a mess when I suddenly heard a voice behind me saying, even if you get married, you have to go to school today!

28. Life is like a shower, with hot water in the wrong direction.

29. An elder once said to me, "Boys don't need to be handsome or rich. As long as they have a gentle and considerate heart, girls will like it." Now, please come out, I promise I won't kill you.

30. I hate the nonsense that tells me "Why did you give up treatment?" It seems that I have been saved.