How to use words to draw closer to each other?

When we meet for the first time, both sides hope to eliminate strangeness as soon as possible, shorten the emotional distance, establish a harmonious relationship and leave a good impression on each other. So, how to do this better through conversation?

Close the distance through the relationship between relatives and fellow villagers

Because the intimate relationship between relatives and fellow villagers will give people a warm feeling, it is easy for both sides to establish trust. Especially, I was surprised to learn that the stranger in front of me had a certain relationship with me. Therefore, if you know that you have this kind of relationship with the other party, you might as well say it directly after greeting, which will easily narrow the distance between them and make people feel at home. At present, in many universities, there are some organizations, such as fellow villagers' associations and fraternity associations, which bring students from the same place together and organize them through the relationship of fellow villagers. At the same time, through the association of fellow villagers, we can help each other, contact feelings and strengthen exchanges. Psychologically speaking, everyone has a kind of "exclusivity" in his subconscious mind, and often unconsciously shows more interest and enthusiasm for things related to him (her), while things unrelated to him (her) have certain exclusivity. So point out this relationship in the conversation and let the other person realize that they are actually "intimate". In this way, whether the other person is above or below you, you can better form an atmosphere of frank conversation and get through the psychological "defense line" caused by strangeness when you meet for the first time. Comrade Mao Zedong often uses this method of "tying a tie". When meeting with Democrats after the founding of the People's Republic of China, he had something to do with him, as well as through teachers, students and old friends. Often, he just met and told the truth frankly without saying two or three words. In the hearty laughter of "We are a Family", the atmosphere became much more intimate, which made the interviewees feel more cordial.

Strengthen feelings through gratitude.

Generally speaking, everyone is happy that he has unconsciously given great help to others. If we can seize the opportunity to meet, it will undoubtedly arouse the great interest of the other party. So, when you meet someone who has helped you for the first time, you might as well tell them in person. On the one hand, you thanked each other, on the other hand, you deepened their feelings invisibly.

Talk about each other's appearance

Everyone is more or less interested in his appearance, and it is a good way to talk about his appearance properly. A sociable friend skillfully leads the topic to the appearance of a new friend who doesn't like to talk. "You are too much like one of my cousins. You almost thought you were him just now. You are tall and white. There is a calm air ... the clothes you wear are too similar, the dark blue suit ... I really can't tell you two apart. " "Really?" The new friend's eyes sparkled with surprise. Of course, their chatterboxes are all open. We have to admire the flexibility of this friend's conversation. He mentioned each other and his cousin together, which virtually narrowed the distance between them, and then skillfully praised each other when describing each other's looks, thus making this quiet new friend move and willing to talk to him.

Analyze each other's names to arouse their interest.

A name is not only a code name, but also a symbol of a person to a great extent. It's good enough to say each other's names the first time we meet. If we properly analyze each other's names, it is by going up a flight of stairs. For example, a friend named "Jianling" can praise with homonym: "A strategically important building, downstream, can be invincible, invincible and far-reaching!" For a friend named "Xisheng", you can sing a song "Sneaking into the night with the wind, moistening things silently". Or analyze his name in the tone of a fortune teller, which leads to great wealth and promising future, not bad. In short, it is a good way to praise each other around their own names.

-Quoted from "Inspirational Package" by Yanbian People's Publishing House