20 years old, really want to die. I have no courage.

I think so several times, but I won't do it because I dare not. Whenever I want to do this, I feel that life is precious. When I died, I had nothing. I've never had a boyfriend and I'm not married. If I die like this, it won't be wonderful What happened to me in my life can make me die several times, but I dare not every time. Before I was 25 years old, my fortune teller calculated it for me. People who are with me, as long as they are friends, will be unhappy because of me. My brother and I are in the same boat. As long as I am in one day, he will be unhappy. My family will be tired because of me. The fortune teller said I really wanted to die. When I die, no one around me will be unhappy because of me. I can't do anything. If I have no family, I can't support myself. Every day, like a year, I miss my mother. I really hate to part with it. Growing up, no one likes me. When I was born, my relatives did not want me. I was either burned or sick since I was a child. I spent enough money to buy a house when I was a child. How to live? I was bullied by my classmates at school, beaten by my classmates, insulted by my teacher, afraid to go to school, went out to work, and liked a boy, but that boy did say that pulling a girl in the street was better than you. I remember my life all my life. I remember on New Year's Eve, my relatives also said that if I couldn't get married in the future, my sister-in-law would bully me and my mother wouldn't want me. I am sad. I was in pain at that time. I stopped crying and watched my mother cry. Suddenly I feel that the world is still bright. I know my mother actually loves me, so even if people all over the world don't like me and the whole world abandons me, it doesn't matter. As long as my mother is here, I am not afraid of being bullied again. As long as my mother is here, I will laugh again, so I have to live well. I'm almost 25 years old. But I'm fine now. All I have to do is bite the bullet and endure it. Anyway, the world doesn't want me, the cheeky one is still alive, and the world is helpless. I am very happy now. I'm 23 now, and I may be really lucky the year after next.

Live a good life and there will be hope. To be honest, because I was bullied too much, I once got a mental illness, and I was very scared. Time can dilute everything. Now I believe it. Now I have learned a trick. In fact, my heart is very painful, bitter and unhappy, but I have to pretend to be happy and pretend for a long time before I can really become happy. However, when you are alone, you will still cry, or you will.