Fortune-telling comparison paragraphs _ Fortune-telling comparison paragraphs are funny

Humorous jokes with a smile every day.

Humorous jokes with a smile every day.

Laugh at humorous jokes every day. If there are no happy things in life to ease the mood, then life must be boring. If people want to live a happy and relaxed life, they must learn to have fun by themselves. If there is no fun in life, they should watch some humorous jokes by themselves. Here are some humorous jokes for everyone.

A humorous sketch with a smile every day 1 1, stupid birds fly first.

In Chinese class, the teacher said to the students, "It doesn't matter if you know that you are worse than others. As long as there is the spirit of stupid birds flying first, they will definitely win. " "Not necessarily?" A classmate whispered, "Yesterday, in the 100-meter competition of the school sports meeting, I was disqualified because of repeated' stupid birds fly first'!"

2. Xiaoming's article

Xiao Ming wrote in the article: In today's Chinese class, the teacher asked me to do the questions on the blackboard, and my heart was pounding with fear. I came to the podium and my heart beat even harder. I finally finished my homework on the blackboard and returned to my seat. My heart finally stopped beating.

Step 3 follow fate

One day, an abbot opened an elective course of Buddhism, and the students asked several questions as usual. Q: "Master, is this course a roll call?" A: "No" Q: "Master, did you take this course?" A: "No" Q: "Master, what about the final grade?" A: "Let it be."

The whole class collapsed. ...

4."250"

My eyes are not very good. I forgot to wear my glasses that day and wanted to read the words written on the blackboard clearly, so I borrowed them from my classmates: "Hey, how big are your glasses? Can you lend them to me? " The classmate replied: "250 degrees." I couldn't help shouting excitedly, "Oh, great, I'm 250, too."

Step 5 drink water

Fat people in our dormitory often show off that they can drink cold water. One day, there was no water in our dormitory, and everyone died of thirst. We looked for water everywhere, but the dormitory next to us was short of water, so we had to endure it. Finally, the fat man walked into the dormitory and said to us, "It's so cool. I just drank a few mouthfuls of water from the toilet." We all laughed after hearing this, and it took him a long time to react.

6. "There are pigs in the back"

In class that day, I drew a pig and stuck it on the back of the classmate in front. He soon found it, tore it off and glared at the election. I am puzzled and ask him. "How did you know there was a pig behind you?"

Smile every day. Humorous joke 2 Laugh every day 0 1

The husband and wife quarreled and left home in a rage. Three days later, the wife found her husband and said, what will I think if you don't see me for three days?

Husband: "I feel quite good."

I couldn't see or feel it on the first day. I still didn't feel it the next day. On the third day, the swelling eased slightly, and the wife asked, "How do you feel?"

Husband: "I can sew, but I can barely see."

Smile every day 02

As long as I can remember, my mother has been very slim.

One day I asked, "Mom, why are you so slim?" How did you like my dad when you were so beautiful? "

My dad sneered, "You've never seen her fat!"

I immediately became interested and asked my dad. My dad said, "When your mother was pregnant with you, you couldn't tell me if you didn't know."

Daily smile 03

On the day of the senior high school entrance examination, my mother sent me to the test center, and the entrance of the test center was full of people.

My mother looked at it and said, "Why are there so many people here?"

Me: "Don't worry, Mom, no matter how many people there are, I'm not nervous."

My mother didn't seem to hear me. She glanced around and said to me, "Daughter, go in by yourself. I went home to pull our refrigerator. How many popsicles can so many people sell! "

Smile every day 04

My son clamored for shrimp feet when he came back from school. I was very angry and said, "I don't usually eat crayfish, but now I want to eat shrimp feet."

I called my husband and said, "Buy some crayfish. Your son wants to eat shrimp dumplings! " "

Husband paused and said, "Why eat shrimp dumplings to buy crayfish?"

Me: "Where can I get shrimp feet if I don't buy lobster?" Husband: "Are you sure our son is not talking about jiaozi in jiaozi?"

Smile every day 05

When I was shopping with my wife, I met a bear wearing a puppet handing out leaflets. I stepped forward and took off the hood of the teddy bear. There is a beautiful girl in it.

I asked, is Miss Sister spicy? The girl gave me a white look and said, "It's none of your business."

Before I knew it, my wife slapped me, twisted my ear and asked me, "Yes, it's none of your business."

Daily smile 06

Once I went to buy clothes, I just arrived at the store and saw an electronic scale at the door. I just wanted to weigh myself recently, so I stood up without hesitation, but I couldn't see my weight.

I asked my boss, "Is your electronic scale broken? Why didn't you study? "

Hearing this, the boss shouted, "Come down quickly, that's our sweeping robot!" " "

Smile every day

Once forced to go on a blind date, as soon as we met, the boy asked me, "Can we get married?"

I suddenly became stupid. I'm getting married before I know it. Besides, I am very conservative. I quickly shook my head and refused to say, "No!"

Then I heard the boy say into the phone, "Mom, you heard me, but it's not my fault. People are unwilling. " I ...

Daily smile 08

My boyfriend took me home, and when I got downstairs, my boyfriend hugged me.

I whispered, "Let's go. My dad will watch it later, and you will be beaten. "

Boyfriend: "I won't let go of anything I say this time."

Me: "My dad said goodbye to you and broke your leg once. Run."

Boyfriend: "Hit it. Anyway, I have run away with him. I chased me two miles last time and was beaten. "

Laugh a humorous little joke every day. First, others look good when they smile, but you are different. You look funny.

In fairy tales, the prince and princess finally live a happy life. The main reasons: one is beautiful and the other is rich.

Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? Do you want to live carefree? Why don't you stay with me and we'll think together.

Fourth, the money in the pocket is the most changeable and ungrateful, and the fat on the body is the most inseparable.

Why does grandma like her granddaughter's wife but not her daughter-in-law? Because the enemy of my enemy is my friend!

Mom: You should get married! Me: Is it necessary to be happy when you get married? I have a classmate who has been married three times. Why bother? Mom: If the marriage is bad, how many people can get married three times?

Never quarrel with your parents, because you will only be scolded if you win, and you will only be beaten if you win.

Eight, the same is swearing, beauty is true temperament, and ugliness is no tutor.

Although I am often beaten by my wife, God knows my wife is not unreasonable. She always asks my permission before calling. When I said no, she called me and said yes.

Ten, the living conditions of modern people: take today's class, sleep yesterday's sleep, and spend tomorrow's money.

Starting from this month, I must work hard, go to bed early and get up early, and don't play mobile phones! If not, send it again next month!

Twelve, the child is going to be born, and the husband said, "If we have a son named Fengfeng, it means going to the peak of life." Wife: "Fengtou, you don't know your surname is Yang."

Thirteen, every time someone is mean to me, I think there is something wrong with this person. He can still lose his temper at such a lovely me, speechless.

When you think the person you like likes you, it's usually that you think too much.

Fifteen, a female colleague in the unit is pregnant and gently tells her husband that she doesn't need to buy sanitary napkins next month. Her husband didn't understand for a moment, but he also asked stupidly: Like China Mobile, can you save traffic until next month?

16. While eating instant noodles in a hurry, my roommate looked at his watch. I asked him why he ate so fast. He said, "That was close. Almost expired! "

Seventeen, you crossed my heart and wore high heels. Not only left footprints, but also stepped on blood.

Yesterday, a couple came to ask me how to get to the hotel. I did not hesitate to show them the direction to Xinhua Bookstore, hoping that they could find themselves lost in the sea of knowledge!

Do you know why you are single? Because you are ugly, you also dislike others' ugliness!

Twenty, I finally got used to my appearance, got a haircut and changed my ugly method.

2 1. In the restaurant, a man pointed to the bean curd brain more than one meter long in the dish and shouted: What ear are you? I ordered homemade tofu! As soon as the chef heard it, he wondered: Isn't it long enough? No matter how long the table is, it won't fit!

22. I wanted to be a princess when I was a child, but I didn't expect to be a princess when I grew up, but it was not the prince who accompanied me, but Mr. Wang.

23. When you are young, don't despair because you have no money, because you have to know that there are still many days without money, so be strong!

24. A man can't find a girlfriend, so he can only tell his fortune. Fortune teller: You are doomed to have no women in the first half of your life. The man's eyes lit up: What about the rest of his life? Fortune teller: You'll get used to it for the rest of your life.