Ipartment's classic lines

Uncle Ta: "Daughter, did you learn this song from me?"

Wan Yu: "Ah? Uncle, will you? "

Uncle Ta: "Our chicken is like this, and the action of chicken feet is the same as yours. I don't know when it started, and many young people began to learn from me. "

Wan Yu: "Uncle, you are so funny. So you are the founder of hip-hop."

Uncle Tuo: "What? Killed someone (founder)? I drive a tractor very slowly and never hit anyone. "

2. Zhanbo: Let's start with five "Rapeseed Chicken"!

Wan Yu (to the waiter): Then we'll have five copies of Rape and Chicken Rice Flower.

Yifei: Two prodigies. They are "awesome".

Zhanbo: Oh, really, changed its name?

3. Wan Yu: Is this a tractor? I always call it go-karting!

4. Bus master (to Zhan Bo): You are a pervert. You either swipe your card, put in coins, or get out of here. What are you twisting?

Bus master (to bodyguard): Hey, come back! Either swipe your card, put in a coin or get out. what are you reading? (Bodyguard gets off the bus) You can't afford a car, and you pretend to be the matrix, huh!

5. Inspector: "A BMW is coming to you at a speed of 280 yards, followed by a Mercedes-Benz racing car. Wait a minute, followed by a tractor with a left lane change light. He wants to overtake!"

6. Audience: Eat sesame cakes and beer lids, eat wonton and moth balls, pat flies on your nails, go to Qingsongguan to burn incense, and your mobile phone can't be taken out when it falls into the merit box.

7. Xiaoxian: Xiaoxian has such a roommate. He lives in two suites in the same apartment with a girl. It's a pity that one always goes to the left and the other always takes the elevator.

8. Zi Qiao: I'm Chen Yuanyuan, and you? (glancing at his chest) Chen, flat, flat!

9. Zi Qiao: Ladies and gentlemen, today, these two are going together ... ...

10. Zi Qiao: Your eyes are clear and moving, your hands are gentle and delicate, and your heart is crystal clear.

Meijia: Your arms are strong, your breasts are broad and mighty, and your skin is impeccable. ...

1 1. Yifei: If the carpet is not long enough, reduce your red underwear to 5 meters.

12. Zi Qiao: The lack of organic conditioning in the stomach and intestines leads to digestive disorders. Now the earth's rotation is getting slower and slower and the gravity is getting smaller and smaller. Hey, it's not easy.

12. Zi Qiao: You are a femme fatale. Wait, you are not a femme fatale, but a femme fatale.

13. Zi Qiao: Accidental, absolutely accidental, very accidental, too accidental.

1. Zhanbo: The price of pork downstairs has gone up, so I went to another store to buy pork.

2. Meijia: I have never heard an old saying that people who only know how to count money will eventually have no money to count.

Yifei: Zhan Bo and I used to be conjoined babies. Before the age of two, our brains grew together.

Fairy: Yes, and then the doctor gave Zhan Bo all his brains with a sharp knife.

4. Meijia: 17 got 7,2748, Women's Day on March 8th, Labor Day on May 1st and Children's Day on June 1st. ...

Zi Qiao: When it's done, we'll split it 50-50.

Meijia: OK first. Who is five?

6. Zi Qiao: Who said that fortune tellers must be blind? He is obviously a mute. . . . .

7. Guangu: My name is Guangu.

Zi Qiao: Guan Yu, my name is Lu Bu.

8. Yifei: It is announced downstairs that pork prices have increased all over the world. Do you want me to go to Mars to buy pork?

1. Zi Qiao: At that time, the sky was still blue and the water was green. There is no bird flu in chickens and ducks, and pork can be safely eaten. At that time, you had to wear clothes to take pictures, and you had to pay back your debts. The mother-in-law doesn't want to marry her daughter, and the father of the child ... is also very clear.

2. Zi Qiao: That was when I was in high school. One day, I dreamed that I was taking an exam. Then I suddenly realized that something even more terrible had happened. It turns out that I am really taking an exam!

3. Guan Gu: "I used to think that you China people were very modest, but now I find that this is not the case."

Zi Qiao: "Why?"

Guangu: "Every day on the road, I see you writing about China, China people, China agriculture, China industry and commerce and Guangdong development. I know you are good in many ways now! But you don't have to write everywhere! "

4. Zi Qiao: Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compete with you!

It's freezing rain in the Arctic, and the Antarctic bear is so pitiful.

It's freezing rain in the Arctic. The giraffe is so pitiful.

It's freezing rain in the Arctic. The giant panda is so pitiful.

Today, the old teacher asked me to make a sentence, saying that describing a person is very happy, so I said "smile in the grave"

7. Psychiatrist? In a word, "fool you, scare you and fool you"

8. Say you have no culture! I don't even know Stephanie, a Malaysian who sings "Courage"! That's Fish Leong! )

9. I only kill people, not hurt them!

10. Look at him, he is not smart, and he is as bald as others!

1 1. Yifei: I don't wake up during the day, I don't sleep at night, I buy a cuckold and I mutter all day.

12. Zhanbo: Batman in Spider-Man is fictional, but Santa Claus is real. He even gave me a present.

13. Guangu: I really come from Altman's hometown.

14. Yifei: A good man is me. I'm Zhang Xiaobin.

15. Xiaoxian: You still have an aunt in prison.

16. Yifei: As a result, three months later, she fancied herself as a refrigerator and poked her finger into the socket.

17. Zi Qiao: Wait, they won't come to trick me into going to the gathering of old cadres in the neighborhood Committee again, will they?

18. Zi Qiao: Happiness! I want happiness! No rent!

19. Meijia: Luda is a fool, his voice is still there, he is an eternal bastard, and he will die unsatisfied.

20. Aunt: I only kill people, not hurt them.

2 1. Xiaoxian: Narnia sanatorium, with a good therapeutic effect, no boredom, going to bed early, and less 20% discount. The national promotion period is only 998, so check in immediately. You will also receive an eight-star eight-sword knife inlaid with diamonds, Narnia sanatorium, and the effect is good! (Ceng Xiaoxian puts on his golden finger)

1. Lisa: It's you! Ceng Xiaoxian!

Ceng Xiaoxian: You know me?

Lisa: My classmate's cousin's neighbor and your brother-in-law's cousin are in-laws!

Lisa: (pointing to Ceng Xiaoxian's face) It's not the software. You should change the monitor!

3. Fairy: Hello, everyone, I am your new fairy and a great friend. ...

4. Zi Qiao: How can people not be stabbed when they are floating in rivers and lakes? My name is Lv Ziqiao, and my life depends on the trumpet!

5. Meijia: European free couples, oh, I have already seen Hawaii!

6. Fairy: Play. . . You'd better volatilize your smell first!

7. Guangu: After my research, different brands of instant noodles have different sounds. The voice of the first one is carrara, and the voice of unified instant noodles is Huala. The most powerful is the instant noodles named Master Kong. The sound of rolling is sparse.

8. Zi Qiao: How can people not be stabbed when they are floating in rivers and lakes? I'm Lv Ziqiao, and I saved my life with a trumpet.

9. Yifei: I'll just Google you with Baidu.

10. Zi Qiao: My name is Lumingbu Zi Qiao!

1 1. Wan Yu: They asked me what my ideal was, and I said, I want to own a small house.

Zhan Bo: Wow, what a great ideal.

Wan Yu: Maybe my house is different from others'. My ideal house has almond candy chips on the roof, roast pork rolls in the chimney, candied dates on the bed, crystal shrimp dumplings on the pillow, raisins in the rain, lollipops in the snow, dumplings in small cages everywhere outside the house, preserved eggs and lean porridge flowing in the river and cooked in the sky. With a snort, they automatically lined up and jumped into my mouth. The clouds in the sky are cotton candy, and the stones on the ground are braised pork. ...

1. Zhanbo: Today is the anniversary of our three-month stay in ipartment! Oh, no, the anniversary!

2. Meijia: work account, no chatting, 50 cents per word, punctuation, half-price charge, more than 1000 words, 20% discount, audio and video, not yet opened, online payment, invoices, wanted agents.

3. Yifei: Stop making it up. No one can fool me, Hu Yifei.

4. Zhanbo: You wear a mask, or I wear a mask.

Zi Qiao: Miss, were you kissed by a pig when you were a child?

1. Sister Flash: There is not enough money, the actors are undecided, and the script is temporarily unavailable.

Wan Yu: A fool stole a beggar's wallet and was seen by a blind man. The deaf man was startled by a loud roar. Camels come forward and lame people fly. The wanted man wants to drag him to the public security bureau. Asako said, look at my face.

3. Guan Gu: Isn't "The Promise" a romantic film?

Zi Qiao: Ha! I can't understand the movie at first sight! ... The Promise is a horror movie!

4. Zi Qiao: Do I have a chance to play opposite him (Takeshi Kaneshiro)?

Sister San: When ... but no! I'm going to sign. None of your business!

5. Sister Flash: I'll introduce you to a professional breast enhancement institution. Many Korean stars have done it there. What kind of gold laundry, river show, stuffy car.

6. Sister Flash: Now that I have a girlfriend, how can I be popular? How can I arrange a relationship for you? How to improve the exposure without an affair? You are still a fart without exposure!

7. Sister Flash: In my eyes, there are only two kinds of people, one will be red and the other will never be red. Where are you in this pile?

Zi Qiao: I ...

Sister Flash: You are nothing, because you have never been in my eyes.

Sister Flash: Canned sardines are more promising than you!

8. Yifei: I don't think it is reliable at all. China Men's Football World Cup is almost as outrageous as you.

9. Meijia: Look at your big face. Every time I stand next to you, my cell phone has no signal, and I can't see the sun when I walk on the road! Seeing you, I believe that genes will really mutate!

Zi Qiao: Did you get your head squeezed by the door? You dinosaur that degenerates three times a day!

10. Meijia: I'll kill you with a bottle of salty soda.

1 1. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but also a Tang priest …

It is not necessarily a monk who can burn incense, but also a panda …

Those who have tattoos are not necessarily bad people, but those who are willing to be Yue Fei ~

It is not necessarily a big bird that can fly, but Li Ning.

12. Xiaoxian: Never hang yourself from a tree. Try to hang yourself several times on several surrounding trees. ....

13. Zi Qiao: I am a born performer. I grew up looking beautiful, and my eyes became round.

14. Zi Qiao: "I can be a strong school"

Sister Flash: "Oh, I forgot, why don't you make pineapple pie and apple pie?"

15. Audience: I'll make a long story short. It's a long story I fell in love with my colleague A Zhi, but I didn't tell him. I told my colleague A Hao that he promised not to tell anyone, but my colleague Ade told me that A Hao secretly told another colleague Alin that he was very familiar with A Zhi's ex-girlfriend Allen. I'm afraid Arlene will tell Allen, and then. Fortunately, Allen is in love with Ade now, so I went to Ade to help me solve this problem. Ed told me that Allen and he had broken up, and now he is dating Alin and asked me to go to Alin, but Alin told me that A Hao actually didn't say anything to him. Now I'm dizzy. Who should I trust?

Fairy: A Ou

Audience: I said Archie, not Ou. Oh is my colleague in another department. Oh is my younger brother, but I can't tell him that the person I like is the ex-boyfriend of your brother's girlfriend, which will make the relationship more chaotic.

Fairy: Aqiao

Audience: A T?

Audience: How do you know that there is another colleague named T in our company? He bears a grudge against Alin, probably because he has a crush on Allen, but T has a good relationship with A Hao.

16. Yifei: Tell your unhappy things to make everyone happy.

17. Xiaoxian: You may not be able to satisfy everyone.

I don't think all of them are people.

18. Yifei: water (sei) water (sei) knows wow.

19. Wan Yu: I am a more competent firewall than Kaspersky.

20. Meijia: This is a hand, not a roll of paper. If you pull it again, it will break.

1. Zhanbo: Sister, let me ask you a question. Tell me honestly, am I really not attractive at all?

Yifei: How?

Zhanbo: I told you, sister, you know me best. They are all stupid earthlings. I am not attractive. I am not attractive. I'll do this? (swimming posture). Surprise! ! !

Yifei: They may be right. There is something wrong with you.

2. Zhanbo: Do I look unhappy?

Yifei: Hey, you wrote the word depressed on your face. Illiteracy is really hard to tell.

3. Yifei: You are a fool! The world is big, but you lack that heart.

4. Yifei: Let me see, astronomical observation team, pesticide testing center, and ... Primitive Animal Association, do you socialize?

Zhan Bo: This is the Association of Primitive Animal Researchers. There are many girls in it. Haven't you seen the photos?

Yifei: Eight girls, four with steel teeth, three cups thicker than beer bottles, and one bigger than you ... Now I fully understand why it is called the Primitive Animal Association. You can study each other without buying specimens.

5. Yifei: If you are the standard, Wan Yu is basically on the same level as Qi Tianshengda.

Zhan Bo: What about me?

Yifei: What's your name with the old man who ... put the monkey in the blast furnace?

Zhanbo: Too old gentleman! !

Yifei: Yes, yes, you are basically the same level as the coal ash in Taishang Laojun's blast furnace!

6. Yifei: Beauty, are you an actor?

Actor: Huh? How do you know you've seen my play?

Yifei: I'm not sure, but I can see it from the way you speak!

Actor (surprised): Have you ever seen me vomit?

7. A listener said: Sorry, I lost your mother when I went to the North Pole last year (the original version was to push your mother off the balcony on the fifth floor last year). Please forgive me for ordering a Sun Nan song.

8. It's normal to be lovelorn and divorce frequently!

1. Wan Yu: It is the duty of every citizen to despise him.

2. Zhanbo: Sister, have you ever had a dog?

Yifei: No, but ... I raised you. I used to keep many animals, such as birds, rabbits, fish, squirrels and rich trees. Within three days, they were all dead. Zhan Bo, you are so lucky!

3. Wan Yu: Dog biscuits are rich in conditioner and anti-dandruff formula. After eating them, the hair disappears without a trace and dandruff is more prominent!

4. Yifei: Did your mother throw people away and raise the placenta when she gave birth to you?

5. Yifei: TVXQ!! ? Is it similar to the oriental time and space of CCTV? I'm going to see if there is any white.

6. Zhanbo: Sister, didn't you say that the early bird gets the worm?

Yifei: I found that I was wrong. Birds eat early worms.

7. Audience: In the last eight minutes of the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympic Games in London, Beckham faced the audience with a straight face.

Do you know the meaning of kicking the ball?

Xiaoxian: What he wants to say is that you have played so well in the Beijing Olympic Games, why don't we play in London? !

1. Because Zhanbo's car was driving too slowly, everyone in the car advised him to drive faster. Zhan Bo: Master said that you can be extraordinary. .....

Zi Qiao: Zhanbo, did you learn to drive in Wudang Mountain? !

2. Zhanbo: "We were photographed by the detector"

Yifei: "A ticket is 200 yuan, you are still driving here, and you are going to shoot cartoons!" " "

3. Zhanbo drives Ceng Xiaoxian. The exhibition is too slow. Someone honked his horn behind him. Yifei took out a sign and put Zi Qiao behind him, which read: Driving school expelled, self-taught, novice on the road, good at emergency braking.

4. Zi Qiao: My God! What are these things? ....

Where is the fucking hydraulic system?

5. Lisa: Have you heard? The traffic jam on XX Expressway is like sausage now!

6. Zi Qiao: The instability of the engine hydraulic system caused the program of the mainstream program board to be suspended, which prevented the coolant from flowing back to the air outlet. The problem is as simple as that.

7. Zi Qiao: When God closes a window mercilessly, maybe another window will open there.

Zi Qiao: There is no rehearsal in my life. It is broadcast live every day.

9. Zi Qiao: There are four and a half people here. One Philippines counts as two and you count as half.

1. Guangu: Honey, what shall we eat today?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: Shall we eat hot pot?

Xiaoxue: No, you will get pimples on your face if you eat hot pot.

Guangu: How about Sichuan food?

Xiaoxue: I just ate Sichuan food yesterday. What about today?

Guangu: Shall we eat seafood?

Xiaoxue: The seafood is not good, and it will cause diarrhea.

Guangu: What did you say you wanted to eat?

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guan Gu: E! ~ ~ ~ Then let's stop eating and do something else.

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: Then let's watch a movie. I haven't seen a movie for a long time.

Xiaoxue: What's interesting about movies? This is a delay.

Guangu: How about bowling? Exercise. Exercise.

Xiaoxue: What's your luck on a hot day? Aren't you tired?

Guan Gu: O! ~ ~ ~ ~ Then let's have some more coffee.

Xiaoxue: Eh ~ ~ ~ Drinking coffee affects sleep.

Guangu: Then what do you want?

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: Then let's go home.

Xiaoxue: (smiling, then taking the bag) Look at you.

Guangu: We'll take the bus and I'll walk you.

Xiaoxue: The bus is dirty and crowded. Forget it.

Guangu: How about taking a taxi?

Xiaoxue: It's not cost-effective to walk such a short distance.

Guangu: Let's go. Let's go for a walk.

Xiaoxue: What way are you going with an empty stomach?

Guangu: Then what do you want?

Xiaoxue: Look at you.

Guangu: Let's eat first.

Xiaoxue: Whatever.

Guangu: What to eat?

Xiaoxue: Anything will do.

Guangu: ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ............

2. Meijia: If you cut your stomach, I will ... I will clean the floor again. ...

I'm telling you, it's not a question of winning the Olyska Prize, it's a question of winning several prizes!

4. ipartment Landlord Rule

A pair of QQ can't beat 745 because QQ is only 30 thousand to 40 thousand, but BMW 745 is very expensive

Bombing can't beat 1 19 because the fire brigade can put out the fire. ...

Your Majesty doesn't play 9 1 1 much because the FBI in the United States is very powerful.

Straight board can't beat four-color cards, because colorful is better than standing out from the crowd.

Congratulations on getting 1258 1. China Mobile touches you once for free (press me to help you).

Congratulations to the girls who got a 3.8. Stop shopping once because of the holiday.

Because of national holidays, I got 5. 1 10. 1. Don't go out.

1. Zi Qiao: I guarantee that she has all the advantages except her shortcomings.

2. Yifei: "I won't count this account. . . "

3. Zi Qiao: I also want to find a place where I can print my head on money.

Meijia: It's not difficult. Why don't you find a place to print money?

I can't even tell the child's hands from his feet. What if I suffocate him while changing diapers?

5. Xiao Xibo: I have been divorced for three years, and my son is half a year old.

6. Zi Qiao: In our men's world, there are still strong people like clouds and weak people like stars.

Yifei: But looking around, there are no clouds and stars in Wan Li.

7. Guan Gu read "Go to Pig Gege": One day, the duckling met the May 4th Movement.

The May 4th Movement said, "You are heartless, cruel and unreasonable!"

The duckling said, "Then you are not heartless, cruel and unreasonable?"

"I'm ruthless, cruel and unreasonable! ?

"Where are you not ruthless, where are you not cruel, where are you not unreasonable! ? " ...

8. Guan Gu (singing): Long Long, you are two years short, and you are always two years far away. ...

Guan Gu (singing): I'm not a locust, I'm not a centipede, I just want a cheap brother and perfect love. ...

9. Yifei: If I can't see that person, I'll make you disappear! The disappearance in the double sense of biology and sociology!

10. Yifei: You are shameless, you are despicable, and you are unreliable!

Zi Qiao: So you are not ashamed, mean and reliable?

Yifei: I'm shameless, mean and unreliable! ?

Zi Qiao: You have no shame, meanness and unreliability! ?

Yifei: I am shameless, despicable and unreliable, and I will never be more shameless, despicable and unreliable than you! !

Zi Qiao: OK, OK, stop swearing. This is the battle for the president of the United States.

Yifei: Is Ceng Laoshi's program going to start?

Zi Qiao: Do you want to hear it?

Yifei: Yes.

Zi Qiao: Gee, you said I was bored.

Yifei: Didn't you listen?

Zi Qiao: Listen! Who bored us?

1 1. Xiaoxian: (panicking) It's Laura! How could it be Laura! There are so many people in the world, why is my guest her! ?

Yifei: Who is this Laura? !

Fairy: She is my nightmare, my nightmare, nightmare. ...

Zhan Bo: Didn't you say that my sister is your nightmare?

Fairy: Yes ... God, I have two nightmares now!

Wan Yu: Do you know this Laura?

Fairy: I know you too well. Many, many things have happened, which is very complicated. I'll make a long story short. It's a long story

Wan Yu: Then take your time.

Fairy: (struggling) ..............., she dumped me.

Wan Yu: Oh. Not long.

Yifei: (excitedly) This Lora can't be the woman who cuckolded you, can she ~

Zhanbo & Wan Yu: (suddenly enlighted) Oh ~ ~ ~

Fairy: See? Do you see it? I told you they were my nightmares! !

12. Guangu: This child must be a saint when he grows up.

Meijia: Why?

Guan Gu: You can't use the same trick on him twice.

13. Zi Qiao: Beautiful love is always only a reincarnation distance from you.

1. Wan Yu: Did you pass the GRE exam?

Xiaohua: I ... don't have an aunt.

Wan Yu: What about TOEFL?

Xiaohua: Thank who?

2. Yifei: There's something I've always wanted to say, but I don't know if I should.

Zi Qiao: You are making a costume movie. Is this your line? It's so fake.

3. Yifei: As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the lover, so what about beauty?

Fairy: (thinking for a moment) Eye drops!

4. Yifei: She may need a spare tire.

Zi Qiao: This date was originally to find a spare tire, but now she has found Guan Gu. Then I'm not a spare tire. A spare tire.

Yifei: Well, the second child for short.

5. Wan Yu: Ugly, but ugly is special, that is, very ugly!

6. Fairy: I allow you to walk around in my world, but I will never allow you to run around in my world!

7. Fairy: I am not a casual person!

Yifei: You don't look human!

8. Laura: I have met countless men over the years. Although you are not the tallest, the most humorous, the most handsome, the strongest, the richest, the most successful, the most mature, the most romantic, the gentlest, the most lovely, the most mysterious, the most melancholy, the most courageous and the sexiest. ...

Fairy: I said, can we skip this paragraph?

9. Fairy: We are impossible. Go and buy a cucumber.

10. Fairy: God, this is fucking ok.

Do you have any methods from the earth? You played Altman!

1 1. Xiaoxian: I think it over. I can't marry Laura, my family will become the United Nations! !

……

I want to break up, I want to break up, I want to break up, I want to break up ... think about this scene, you sit next to her, and then she plays jokes on you without knowing anything. Then you open your mouth, and she collapses, and then she cries, and then they hug and cry. Finally, you have to tell her that we can't. You'd better buy a cucumber! ! It's cruel ~ ~

Zi Qiao: This is a normal breakup procedure. But this will never happen to you. Because she's Laura! Have you ever seen a man tied to a boat get seasick? So I think this should be the case. You talk to her, she looks at you quietly, you collapse, then you cry, and then she pulls you into her arms and just says, "Stop crying, wash and sleep, and go to work tomorrow." Don't talk nonsense there "

1. Zhanbo: Sister, if someone hurts you deeply, how long will it take you to forgive him?

Yifei: Forgive him? Forgiving him is God's business. My task is to send him to God!

2. Guan Gu: Those who stop us will die.

Meijia: Did you press the toilet in the kitchen or put the stove in the toilet?

4. Fairy: Men's money will not change, and sows will become monsters in the trees.

5. Zhanbo: Haha, you are dead. For a saint, there are only two results to deal with a man who has had an intimate relationship with her. Love him or kill him. What's more, my sister is a Gold Saints Leo!

6. Zhanbo: You confessed to my sister. ...

Fairy: I confessed ... Ah! I confessed!

Guangu: That's why you are now. I told you before, you are asking for trouble and killing yourself!

Fairy: I have to explain to her that I am really drunk! No, I can't explain it. She won't forgive me. I'd better go! Why, why didn't any of you stop me!

Everyone: We stopped. ...

Fairy: How can I make things like this again! It's over, it's over, goodbye, goodbye to everyone, and I wish you happiness. ...

Fairy: (to Yifei who just entered the room) Don't come here. I know what I did was wrong. I know I'm a shameless bastard, and I know I can't beat you. But I didn't mean to. (kneeling) hero ~, please leave me alone, I'll go by myself, don't kill them all ~

6. Wan Yu: In a finger that can't see the night.

7. Meijia: Ceng Laoshi, your room is really ... unobstructed.

1. Meijia: My period came early to see me. My waist hurts, and my stomach is very uncomfortable now.

Guangu: Meijia, your period is really good for you. Otherwise, she will sleep in my room and I will sleep on the sofa today.

Wan Yu: Guangu, the period you mentioned is different from what she said.

Guangu: Oh, does Meijia have many menstrual periods? Your grandmother is really fertile. I only have one, but I have three young aunts!

2. Fairy: Lonely men and few women, living in the same room, everything is impetuous, the gun goes off ... This is normal!

3. Zi Qiao: I'll wait for you in the sky and underground ~ Hold on … Uncle ~ ~!

4. Zhanbo: Egg fried rice is also called egg fried rice. There are only three things in it: rice, eggs and salt. My sister has four kinds, her hair.

Yifei: There was a fifth sample today, and my fake nails fell in.

1. Yifei: Never mind, failure is success.

Zhanbo: I already have many mothers, but none of them are pregnant.

2. Zi Qiao: Why doesn't this cup have a mouth?

Meijia: You got it backwards! ~

Zi Qiao (turning the glass upside down): Not only has no mouth, but also has no bottom. ...

3. Meijia: They are all terrapin.

Zi Qiao: They are just turtles. You are a monster among turtles.

4. Meijia: Handsome guy, handsome guy, party, party, you all give me handsome guy, handsome guy, party, party, you all give me height.

5. Zhanbo: Seeing the back of her (Hu Yifei) has an inexplicable impulse ~

1. Zi Qiao: "I took off my shoes and slipped away to avoid exposure."

Guan Gu: "Are you sure you want to take off your shoes? Easier to be exposed! ! "

1. Wan Yu: Feifei wants to make her own chocolate for Dongzi Shen.

Fairy: Really? What did he do to you? You tried to poison him!

Yifei: I want poison. I will poison you first!

Zhanbo: My sister's cooking won't kill anyone. Only when the poison looks attractive will someone want to eat it. Last time I saw her chocolate, she was really a good guy! !

Fairy: Ha ha ha, I see. You're not trying to poison him. You want to scare him to death!

2. Zi Qiao: You are really creative.

3. Yifei: I don't care whether I write poetry or not, it's all nonsense, smelly and long anyway. As a result, the female student's last excited estrogen instantly turned into cholesterol.

Grandma: If you don't leave, I'll call the police! Fuck off!

Fairy: I'm not a bad person, I'm a good person!

Grandma: Hello! I've heard your voice somewhere!

Fairy: Oh ~ You've heard my show. I'm a radio host. A good man is me. I am ... Ceng Xiaoxian.

Grandma: Then I have to call the police. If I arrest you, they can find a better host!

5. Guangu: It's so touching ... The little dragon girl is really beautiful ... but Yang Guo doesn't know how to cherish it. He only has an aunt in his heart!

Zhan Bo: Well, Little Dragon Girl ... is his aunt.

Guan Gu (surprised): Ah! It's so sinful. Is it okay for Yang Guo to do this?

Zhan Bo: Er ... exactly, there is no such thing as an uncle.

Guangu: Oh, my God! Then Yang Guo ... became his uncle! ! The little dragon girl ... became her niece! !

Wan Yu: The little dragon girl was raped.

Guangu (crazy): Nani (what)? ! That will be a day!

Wan Yu (smiling): Yes, it was Yin Zhiping.

Guan Gu (continues to be mad): Stop it! Stop it! ! (Suddenly calm) ... Is Yin Zhiping Yang Guo's uncle?

6. Zi Qiao: Ten thousand is the same as one million, because I have no money!

7. Fairy: Now I know why there are so many fake milk powders. You can do it too. Buy it first, then pour it in water and dry it. Look, this is handmade milk powder. There is also a nice name, called Luffy milk powder, and I have thought of the advertising words for you! Since drinking Luffy milk powder, my back is sore, my legs don't hurt, and even my heart has stopped beating!

8. Yifei: I really want to put my size 37 shoes on your size 42 face now! A vegetable can speak better than you. Do you believe it or not? I'll plant you in a flowerpot now! !

9. Zi Qiao: (slowly walks to the coffee table, then steps on it and shouts) Oh, my God! Almighty Lord ~! She understood. She finally got it ~! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

10. Meijia: Great! I received two birthday cards.

Wan Yu: Who sent it?

Meijia: China Mobile and Bank of Communications!

Wan Yu: At least it is a card, not a bill!

Meijia: They made the bill look like a card!

Meijia: I was born two days before Valentine's Day. It's all my parents' fault. Valentine's Day is celebrated all over the world now. Who remembers my birthday?

Wan Yu: Me and China Mobile and Bank of Communications!

1. Zhanbo: When I finally reached the gate, I found that the whole city had flown away.

2. Zi Qiao: Don't listen to the old man and die in front of me.

3. Zi Qiao: If you tell a girl without warning, you will usually be mistaken for being ready to rob and borrow money to prepare for double suicide.

4. Fairy: There is a little duck named Xiao Huang. One day, it was hit by a car on the road and let out a cry. From then on, it was called cucumber.

Yifei: I will play basketball on Valentine's Day to commemorate my Hu Yifei.

Ipartment landlord's rules of the game!

1. A pair of QQ can't beat 745 because QQ is only 30,000 to 40,000, but BMW 745 is very expensive.

2. The bomb can't hit 1 19 because the fire brigade can put out the fire. ...

3. Your Majesty doesn't play 9 1 1 much because the FBI in the United States is very powerful.

4. Straight can't beat four-color cards, because colorful is better than standing out from the crowd.

5. Congratulations on getting 1258 1. China Mobile touches itself for free.

6. Girls will be congratulated for taking 3 or 8 exams. Stop shopping once because of the holiday.

7. Get 5. 1 10. 1. Stop playing cards because of national holidays.

8. Three kings are the smallest, one monk carries water, and three monks have no water to drink, so three old kings are the smallest cards.

9. The best is Fei Xian.

10. 1 14 You can look at your opponent's cards.

1 1.J is the largest, because j has weapons.