Who has a funny joke! ~~~~~~~~

Guanyin: the Monkey King, you beast, you promised the Tathagata to escort your master Tang Sanzang to fetch the Western Classics, but you colluded with Niu Wangmo to eat your master. Do you know that you have committed a heinous crime?

The Monkey King: Cut the crap! You chased me for three days and nights, and I won't kill you because you are a woman. Don't think I'm afraid of you!

Tang Priest: Wukong, how can you talk to Sister Guanyin like this?

Wukong: Wow! Don't make noise!

Tang Priest: You scared me again!

Guanyin: You are not afraid of me. Why do you want to hurt Xia Zixian's daughter and rob her moonlight box? Don't you just want to avoid me?

Wukong: Since I can't hide, I'll fight you to the death!

(Wukong casually throws a box of moonlight and hits the Tang Priest on the head. )

Tang Priest: What?

They were about to start work when suddenly ...

Tang Priest: Alas! Don't be angry, everyone. Anger will offend you! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things around. So much rubbish ... look, before I finished, you threw the stick away again! Moonlight box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. Alas, what should I do if I hit the child? Even if you don't hit the children, it's wrong to hit those flowers and plants!

(Wukong grabs the Moonlight Box in Tang Priest's hand)

Tang Priest: What?

Wukong: Let go!

Tang Priest: Do you want it? Wukong, you can say it if you want. How do I know you want it if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then you can take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it? ......

Wukong: I am Kao!

(Wukong punches down the Tang Priest. )

Guanyin: Huh? The Monkey King!

Wukong: Did everyone see it? This guy talks about his mother-in-law all day long, as if there is a fly, hum ... sorry, not one, but a group of flies around you, hum ... hmm ... flying into your ear. Help! Help!

(Wukong falls to the ground and rolls around in great pain. )

Wukong: So I caught the fly, crushed its stomach, pulled out its intestines, and then grabbed its neck with its intestines and pulled it hard, heh! The whole tongue is sticking out! I'll start over and wow-! The whole world is clean. Now everyone understands why I killed him!

Guanyin: Hum! Wukong, you have many excuses and don't want to get the western classics at all!

Wukong: Why talk so much? Fight!

(The two men had a fight, and Wukong was surrendered by Guanyin to earn nectar bottles. )

Guanyin: I'm going to help God today!

Tang Priest: It's also a responsibility for an apprentice to be a master. Please let him live!

Guanyin: I have to kill the Jade Emperor before I can explain to him!

Tang Priest: Please tell the Jade Emperor that I am willing to pay for my life!

(Sitting on the ground with his hands folded, throwing his staff into the air)

Amitabha!

(The staff will kill the Tang Priest. )

A Chinese Odyssey

(2)

(500 years later)

(Spring 30 Niangs came to Wuyue Mountain, and the Axe Gang suffered a lot, and came to find the Supreme Treasure of the Door Master. )

Supreme treasure: What is Chunsanniang doing in Wuyue Mountain? This demon has always been a treasure. What's the big deal?

(Open your eyes and have a look)

What are you idiots doing with silver on your heads? Put the gun down.

Second in charge: impossible! Money falls on everyone's head, master

Supreme treasure: What did you say? Second in command!

(One hand caught the blind man)

How can you be my second husband when you are so spineless?

Blind man: Lord, I am not the second in charge. I am blind! He's the second in charge!

(referring to the second master)

Second husband: Yes, I am the second husband!

Supreme treasure: I don't know?

(pointing to the person next to him)

Did I say that the blind man was a disgrace?

(turning around)

You still run-!

(Catch up with a dog)

Look at you, sneaking around, bring disgrace to oneself, wearing long hair and putting on airs. How can you come out with me and wander the rivers and lakes, huh?

Second Master: Master, I'm here!

Supreme treasure: still not showing up?

(Looking around blankly)

Second Master: So there you are, Master! You got a seven-wound fist on Kunlun Mountain, and now the injury is starting to attack!

Supreme treasure: How dare you say that if you hadn't shrunk your neck that day, how could I have been hit in the nose?

Second master: This way, master!

Blind man: (shaking his head and sighing)

Seven Wounds Boxing really hurt Wang!

Second Master: Master, I am so scared that I kneel down! I heard that I was hit by a seven-wound fist. First of all, I became cross-eyed. Then, I was deaf and couldn't hear. Finally, the voice got out of control and everything was out of tune. Finally, my internal organs exploded and I died! Master, are you serious about cross-eyed?

Supreme treasure: Who said I was cross-eyed? I just focused on one point and changed my previous view of things. Why? I can't make a rumor. Do you want to sit in my seat?

Second master: I dare not, master! Dare not!

Supreme treasure: dare not? I will trample you to death!

(Stepping on a clump of grass)

Dare not? I step on-! ..... After stepping on it for so long, even if it doesn't hurt, just handle it twice!

Second in command: (intentionally)

Ah! Oh, dear!

Supreme treasure: Roger that! Ok, let's get ready for the guy who killed Chunsanniang!

Everyone: Huh? !

Supreme treasure: What are you afraid of? I have everything!

Supreme Bao went to kill Chunsanniang, but he was killed. )

Supreme treasure: It's not that easy to kill me. Ask my brothers first!

As soon as I turned around, I saw my people hiding outside the door, and I was furious. )

Supreme treasure: disloyal! You eat inside and choose outside! Oh, my God, kill us all if you can!

Everyone: spare my life, heroine!

(kneeling in succession)

Supreme treasure: idiot! Do you think she will let you go because she surrendered? Anything you say today, you have to fight her, you hear me?

Spring 30 Niang: Men have gold under their knees. Since they are willing to beg me, their lives are with me for the time being. As for you, you really have backbone!

When the Supreme Treasure heard this, he immediately raised his hands in the air, then jumped on him and begged for mercy. )

Spring 30 Niang: Ha ha ha! A willing son can teach!

(Supreme Treasure, clap your hands and thank you. )

Chunsanniang: Tell them to wash their feet and wait for me outside!

(They line up with their feet facing the sky, and Spring Thirty Niangs look at them one by one. )

Spring 30 Niang: How can there be a scar?

A crowd: it's either a scar or mud!

Chunsanniang: Wash it now, or I'll cut it off!

Second Master: Master, why does she look at our soles?

Supreme treasure: fortunately, I only look at the soles of my feet, not my ass. ......

Second husband: Are you afraid?

Supreme treasure: it is you who are afraid, not me. ......

Second husband: Why?

Supreme treasure: There are so many prickles on your ass, maybe she will say that your ass is not clean, cut it off!

Second husband: How do you know my ass? ...

Supreme treasure: The blind man said he peeked at what you saw in the shower.

Second husband: Why did you peek at me taking a shower?

Blind man: I didn't just peek at you, I peeked at everyone!

Everyone: Huh? !

(Spring Thirty Niangs Go to the Supreme Treasure)

Chunsanniang: Why are you so hairy?

Supreme treasure: normal! I have more hair in other parts of my body. How's it going? Does it tickle your heart?

(Spring 30 Niang is furious and tears off a pinch of foot hair. )

Supreme treasure: ah!

Chunsanniang: You mean it grows more luxuriantly there?

Supreme treasure: no! Actually, I only have hair on my head and heels, which is probably the wrong place.

Chunsanniang: Starting today, I want you to check all the people who pass by here day and night!

Supreme treasure: check what?

Chunsanniang: Check the soles of your feet and tell me immediately if you find three moles!

(Say that finish turned to leave. )

Second Master: Master, we don't just rob people's soles. If peers find out, they will laugh at us for being abnormal!

Supreme Treasure: You can't beat her with an open gun and a clear knife, and it's hard to stop her if you stab someone in the back. Let her taste the five-poison ecstasy at night, rape first and then kill!

Second in command: Good plan!

Supreme treasure: Do you feel good? I will leave this task to you.

Second husband: How highly of me! Forget it!

(The Supreme Treasure suddenly falls to his knees. )

Second in charge: no need! Master, you don't have to kneel!

Supreme treasure: You think I'm going to kneel? It's my leg!

Master II: Master, your seven-wound boxing is getting worse and worse!

Supreme treasure: I still have hands. I won't give in! Hahaha!

(Walking with hands upside down, suddenly ...)

Ouch!

Second master: Wang has fallen into the cesspit! Master!

A Chinese Odyssey

(3)

(In the middle of the night, Mr. Zhong used ecstasy to make Chunsanniang look like a spider. Everyone worked together to hunt down spiders, but mistakenly regarded the Supreme Treasure walking on his feet as a spider essence and set fire to the lower parts of the Supreme Treasure. Fortunately, the second master stamped out the fire hard. )

Supreme treasure: Who burned me?

Everyone: (in chorus)

Not me! It's him!

(referring to the second master)

Supreme treasure: I knew it was you!

(to the second husband)

I have seen through your heart, spleen, lungs and kidneys. You want to sit in my seat, right?

Second Master: No, Master!

Blind man: Wang is not cross-eyed! Master, your seven wounds are all ready!

Supreme treasure: Yes! Why? I want to fight!

(Beat the second master)

Blind man: I see, the cure of the seven-wound boxing is to fight poison with poison, and the injury will add to the injury!

Supreme treasure: that makes sense! That makes sense!

Blind man: As for the second husband, he made an unintentional mistake! If he hadn't kicked your little brother, your injury wouldn't have healed so quickly!

Supreme treasure: Are you having an affair with him by defending him so much?

Blind man: (as a relative)

People are crazy about you!

Supreme treasure: Fuck you! Are you in spring? Kill your mother!

(Push the blind man away with one hand)

Have you finished the second husband's call to kill Chunsanniang?

Second in charge: Chunsanniang is a monster, spider essence!

Supreme treasure: Brother, how can a rational person like me accept such a ridiculous thing? Kill her!

Blind man: Huh? Master, did you leave like this? You're not afraid ......

Supreme treasure: What are you afraid of? I'm all right, but I'm afraid I can't cut her?

Second in charge: Good! Have balls!

Supreme treasure: You have the guts, don't you think?

Second husband: Yes, forget it!

Supreme treasure: Then you can take a man to her room to chop it up. I'll cover you from behind

Second husband: Why do I always go first?

(The second husband escaped halfway, so the Supreme Treasure had to touch Chunsanniang's room alone. After a long time, everyone saw the Supreme Treasure come out safely. )

Supreme treasure: (facing the room respectfully)

This is not a beautiful place, but it has a different flavor. You two will like living here. Good Night!

(Entering the door and going downstairs)

Blind man: Master, what's the matter? Are you a monster?

Supreme treasure: Yes! And very demon! Let my heart thump!

Suddenly the door opened and a young girl rushed out. )

Girl: Master, please stay!

(The Supreme Treasure immediately turned into a graceful figure. )

Girl: The elder sister said that Wang Renyi was chivalrous among chivalrous people. It's an honor to make friends with Rainbow. Please use the money you put on your brothers today to buy a bar!

Supreme treasure: hee hee hee! thank you very much for your kindness！

(The girl smiles and turns into the room. )

A bunch of people: Master, is your taste too bad?

Supreme treasure: each has its own merits!

(After that, he smiled and turned away.)

Blind man: Wow!

(crying)

(It turns out that the girl is Bai and Chun San Niang's school sister named. Because she had an indissoluble bond with the Monkey King 500 years ago, she came to Wuyue Mountain and other places with mixed feelings of love and hate to meet the reincarnation of Tang Sanzang. )

Supreme Bao fell in love at first sight, but she couldn't attract Jingjing's attention as soon as she dressed up. )

Supreme treasure: This is not a good idea. Why didn't Jingjing respond to my styling at all? Can't help it!

Supreme Bao shaved his beard, put on a scholar's costume and stood on the bridge waiting for Jingjing to appear. )

Supreme treasure: Hehe!

Bai Jingjing: Who?

Supreme treasure: the night is long and I have no mood to sleep. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep? What's wrong with me? Abuse. ? BR & gt

Bai Jingjing: Yes! I wonder why Wang Can can't sleep.

Supreme treasure: It's because of Jingjing.

Bai Jingjing: Me! ?

Supreme treasure: not bad. After seeing Jingjing, I decided to turn over a new leaf and stop being a thief. To show my sincerity to that girl, I don't want to see me again. ......

(Laughing and responding)

Does it look nice?

Bai Jingjing: You smelly monkey!

Supreme treasure: huh? Smelly monkey?

Bai Jingjing: the Monkey King!

Supreme treasure: the Monkey King?

Bai Jingjing: You just need to be human?

Supreme treasure: human? !

Bai Jingjing: It seems that if I don't need Samadhi Bones Fire, you won't admit it!

(The jade hand pointed, and the Supreme Treasure's hand caught fire immediately)

Supreme treasure: Do you still need it? Burn again! Why-? Why-?

Bai Jingjing: Am I mistaken?

(Fly forward to put out the fire)

Supreme treasure: Wow! Why did you burn me with a flame?

Bai Jingjing: Why did you shave off your beard? Do you know that you have no personality without a beard?

Supreme treasure: Really?

Bai Jingjing: Well, you can't write in Chinese or use force. You don't want to be a mountain thief. Do you want to be a champion?

Supreme treasure: I thought about it. ......

Bai Jingjing: Save it! Change your image and be a promising mountain thief!

Supreme treasure: I see, I will definitely continue to work hard!

(turns and runs)

Bai Jingjing: It doesn't look like anything. It looks like a smelly monkey!

(The Supreme Treasure returns to his room. )

Supreme treasure: what a failure! Jingjing likes my rough side!

Put the shaved beard back on your face and look at yourself in the mirror. It's beautiful. )

Although it was a little messy, it finally recovered!

(and puts a bunch of beards on his forehead)

(The Supreme Treasure falls asleep after washing his feet and covering his face with a cloth, and returns to water curtain cave in his sleep. )

Schreiber: You are back in water curtain cave.

Supreme treasure: what? Water curtain cave! Who are you? Why do you always bring me here?

Voice-over: No one brought you here. You want to come back. A person always wants to come back after leaving home for a long time!

(The Supreme Treasure suddenly seems to see himself as a monkey. )

Supreme treasure: Don't fool me. My home is atNo. B1 10 1 on the fourth side of Wuyue Mountain. No , you 're going the wrong way. Did you hear that? Please don't bother me again!

Suddenly, the Supreme Treasure was awakened by a blind man, and the dream was over. )

A Chinese Odyssey

(4)

(The axe gang went to check the soles of passers-by. Supreme Bao found a bunch of grapes, but it turned out to be bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi bodhi.

Supreme treasure: what an old mother! What an old mother!

Bodhi Bodhi: I became a grape!

Supreme treasure: where are you?

Bodhi Bodhi: I'm in your pants!

Supreme treasure: Wow! Such a big lump!

Bodhi Bodhi: That lump is yours, and I am behind you!

(The Supreme Treasure found grapes from the lower back. )

Supreme treasure: it's great to see you again!

Bodhi Bodhi: Do you believe it now?

Supreme treasure: I believe it! Why do monsters appear here?

Bodhi Bodhi: Idiot!

(Come out of the back room and pick a grape from the Supreme Treasure to eat)

I tell you, these monsters are waiting for Tang Sanzang to reappear. Five hundred years ago, the Monkey King was destroyed by Master Guanyin. In order to save him, Tang Sanzang, his master, bought the Monkey King a second chance to be born again with his life, hoping that the monkey could turn over a new leaf.

Supreme Treasure: Why is Tang Sanzang here? You haven't told me yet!

Bodhi Bodhi: Not bad. Tang Sanzang is not afraid to learn from Purdue through hardships, and hopes to influence the world with scriptures. All the gods and buddhas in the sky are influenced by his spirit.

Interviewee: Xiajiucheng-Shusheng Grade II 12-29 18:52

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Commentator: mywfx 1983- magic apprentice level

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There are three other answers.

I have put up with you for a long time! !

Interviewee: Anonymous 12-29 18:49.

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Tang Priest: What? They were about to start work when suddenly ...

Tang Priest: Hey hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Anger will offend you! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things around. Why did you ... you threw the stick away before I finished! Moonlight box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. What if you hit a child? Even if you can't hit the children, it's wrong to hit those flowers and plants. (Wukong grabs the moonlight box in Tang Priest's hand) Tang Priest: What?

Wukong: Let go!

Tang Priest: Do you want it? Wukong, how can I know what you want if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then you can take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it? ……

Wukong: I am Kao! (Wukong punches down the Tang Priest. )

Guanyin: Huh? The Monkey King!

Wukong: Did everyone see it? This guy talks about his mother-in-law all day. It seems that there is a fly. Hum … Sorry, it's not one. It's a bunch of flies around you. Hum … Hum … Fly to your ear. Help! (Wukong falls to the ground and rolls around in great pain. )

Wukong: So I caught the fly, crushed its stomach, pulled out its intestines, and then grabbed its neck with its intestines and pulled it hard, heh! The whole tongue is sticking out! I'll start over! The whole world is clean. Now everyone understands why I killed him!

(The seventh day has arrived. The cowshed is full of lanterns and colorful decorations. A gallows was set up in the square, and the Tang priest was tied to it and guarded by two little demons. )

Tang Priest: How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? To say a word, I just want to make one more friend before I die.

Opposite the gallows is a high platform. Xia Zi's feather coat is full of worries. )

(Friar Sand and Xiang Xiang also blend into the wedding scene, waiting for the chance to save people. )

Tang Priest: So being a demon is like being a human being. You must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale.

(Little demon armor begins to vomit. )

Tang Priest: Hey, he got it. Did you get it?

(Check the soles of everyone's feet and walk up to a person)

Spider essence: Why are there scars?

Bangcong: It's not a scar, it's just mud!

Spider essence: Wash the mud clean, or I'll cut it off!

Master: Master, why does she look at our soles?

Supreme treasure: fortunately, I only look at the soles of my feet, not my ass.

Second husband: Are you afraid?

Supreme treasure: it is you who are afraid, not me.

Second husband: Why?

Supreme treasure: There are so many prickles on your ass, maybe she will say that your ass is not clean, cut it off!

Number two: How do you know my ass?

Supreme treasure: The blind man said he saw it when he peeked at you in the shower.

Second in command: Huh? Why did you spy on me while I was taking a shower?

Blind child: I didn't just peek at you. I peeked at everyone.

People: Huh? Peek at our asses!

(Cha Zhi Zun Bao)

Spider essence: Huh? Why is there so much hair?

Supreme treasure: normal! I have more hair in other parts of my body. How's it going? Does it tickle your heart?

(Spider spirit tears off the hair on her feet)

Supreme treasure: ah. . .

Spider essence: You mean it grows more luxuriantly there?

Supreme treasure: Oh, no, actually, I only have hair on my head and soles of my feet, which is probably the wrong place.

Spider spirit: Hum, starting from today, I want you to check all the people who pass by here day and night.

Supreme treasure: check, check what?

Spider essence: check the soles of your feet. If you find three moles, tell me at once. Hum!

Second in charge: Wang, we don't rob, we just look at the soles of people's feet, and our peers will laugh at us for being abnormal!

Supreme treasure: You can't beat her with a clear knife and a clear gun, and it's hard to prevent her from hurting people with a back arrow. Let her taste the five-poison ecstasy tonight, rape first and then kill!

Number two: Hey, good plan!

Supreme treasure: Do you feel good? Then I'll leave this task to you!

Second in command: Huh? So highly of me? Forget it!

Supreme treasure: hmm. . .

Second husband: no, Wang doesn't have to kneel!

Supreme treasure: you think I want to kneel, but my legs don't work!

The blind man's son: Master, the injury of your Seven Wounds Boxing is getting worse and worse!

Supreme treasure: I still have hands. I won't give in. Ha ha ha ha. . .

(falling into a shit hole)

Number two: Wang fell into the shit hole, Wang. . .

Supreme treasure: keep people under the sword! The result was suicide. Why did you kill yourself?

Bai Jingjing: I'll kill you first! Supreme treasure: what a hero! Leave me alone!

Bai Jingjing: Let you go? You give me a reason not to kill you!

Supreme treasure: I was thinking ... give me a reason to kill me first!

Bai Jingjing: OK! You left me without saying a word, and you had a son with my senior!

Supreme treasure: You have completely misunderstood. ...

Bai Jingjing: Go to hell! (brandishing a sword to chop)

Supreme treasure: no, hero! I went back to ask your senior sister for an antidote to save you, and it was too late to find you when I got back.

Bai Jingjing: You lied to me!

Supreme treasure: You don't believe it? (Pulls out Yu Pei) Look!

Tang Priest: Sister, this is all your fault!

Guanyin: Huh?

Tang Priest: Wukong wants to eat me. This is just an idea. It hasn't been realized yet. You have no proof. What crime did he commit? Why don't you wait for him to eat me and you can prove it, so it's not too late to convict him!

Guanyin: Tang Sanzang, I've long heard of your verbosity. I didn't expect you to be so verbose! The diamond ring I gave you was used to subdue this monkey, but you were useless!

Tang Priest: Alas, the size of that diamond ring is too bad. The front is heavy and the back is light, and the left is wide and the right is narrow. After wearing it, it is very uncomfortable. I can't sleep all night, it will get me into trouble! Although he is a monkey, you can't do this to him. The government will accuse me of animal cruelty! Speaking of diamond rings, I met a blacksmith in Chenjiacun last year. He is exquisite in workmanship and reasonable in price. He is innocent. How about I introduce you to order another one?

Tang Priest: I won't embarrass you. Please tell the Jade Emperor that I am willing to pay the price of my life! As the saying goes, if I don't go to hell, who will? Please forgive me for doing this, sister. I just want to influence the bad guys to match my fearless spirit of compassion!

……

Tang Priest: Wukong, do you know what sonorous sonorous is?

Supreme treasure: what clang clang clang clang clang clang clang?

Tang Priest: Bang, bang, bang, bang, that is (singing).

Only you. You can accompany me to the western classics. ...

Supreme treasure: hey ...

Tang Priest: An Liyou!

I'll take the fall, you go to hell and do your best for all beings!

Supreme treasure: I really can't I tell you. ...

Tang Priest: Go-go-!

Supreme treasure: Fuck you! Is that all you got to say (Punching down the Tang Priest) I have already told you that I can't do it, and you have to go up-up-! Open-open-! I can't stand ignoring me completely, and I'll stab you to death again! Tang Priest: Wukong, you can stab me to death. There is no sorrow in life and no pain in death. When you understand, you will naturally come back and sing this song with me! Amitabha, Amitabha ...

Respondents: Jin Yinghao-Magician Level 4 12-29 18:50.

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What's your mother's name?

Only you, can you accompany me to the Western Heaven? .........

Moonlight box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. Alas, what should I do if I hit the child? Even if you don't hit the children, it's wrong to hit those flowers and plants!

Interviewee: I'm bored by accident-trainee magician level 2 12-29 18:55

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Comments on the best answer:

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Baidu in 2005

What do you want to do on Christmas Eve? Want to get rich? Want to get lucky? Want to be an official? Want to become famous overnight? Want to stay young forever? Do you want people all over the world to be crazy about you? -Stop dreaming, wash your feet and sleep!

On this beautiful Christmas Eve, the Lord said that one of my wishes could come true. I took out my globe and said, I want world peace! The Lord said it was too difficult! I took out your photo and said, make this person beautiful! God sweated and said, "Bring me the globe and let me have a look!"

On Christmas Eve, it's raining, it's wet, and the mood is wet ... You just stare at the cold window and continue to observe. I came up to you and said softly, "Wang Cai, go in. Santa won't send bones."

Did you have a good time on Christmas Eve? To tell you, I have changed my job, and now I work in a bank, not far from you. Come to me when you have time, call my name at the bank, and I'll know. Yes, I changed my name. That's too vulgar! ! My name is Qiang Jie now.

On behalf of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China, the State Council, the National People's Congress, the Central Military Commission and the offices of Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan in the State Council, I would like to lodge the strongest protest to you: Why didn't Taiwan Province Province remain on the map of China after you wet the bed on Christmas Eve?

Your happiness, I will build; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I'm the only one who cares about you. I am a professional pig farmer.

Dude, you're going to invite me to dinner on Christmas Eve. If you don't meet my requirements, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it-apply for a certificate.

I'm really scared to hear that you have been trafficked. Although you grew up with dementia, it is harmless to society. Who is so bold as to dare to sell you? I'm worried about him. It's strange to sell it!

Doing bad things is called bad guys, empty heads are called idiots, being fired is called fuck off, and swearing is called assholes. Alas, it's over. Those who can't chew the bones eat black-bone chicken and white eggs, and see a message of Merry Christmas!

Bird flu didn't scare you, and chicken plague didn't kill your spirit of working hard for the continuation of your family. When you walk into the delivery room again, I silently bless you: Happy egg laying!

Wanted order: An old man with a white beard and a red robe often sneaks into residents' homes at night and puts things that make people happy and deadly. Anyone who finds it should call the police immediately. The alarm code is Merry Christmas! You will get lifelong happiness in return.

Snowflakes are bookmarks for my good memories. Dancing under the colorful Christmas tree in the moonlight is my lovely dream. On this special day, let me wish you a Merry Christmas with my sincere greetings!

From the South Pole to the North Pole, I sincerely wish you! Santa Claus from the North Pole invited the Antarctic immortal Shouxing Lao to wish you and your family happiness, smile at life, live a long and prosperous life and receive more gifts!

I want to let the sunshine warm you, decorate you with starlight, intoxicate you with wine, satisfy you with food, shine on you with fireworks, and drown you with happiness, but I haven't been a god for a long time, so I can only wish you a merry Christmas by SMS!

Santa Claus is too fat for elk to hold! You can't ride the sleigh! So I volunteered to distribute my blessings instead of him. I wish my friends all the best! Merry Christmas! _ Send you full blessings!

For the comfort and pleasure of your Christmas trip, please send me a text message to inform you of your height and weight-I made a wish to Santa Claus that you should be my Christmas present, but his old man asked me to prepare a sock of the right size first!

A little love is worth a thousand taels of gold, a little warmth can offset the frost in Wan Li, a greeting brings warmth and sweetness, and a short message brings all my thoughts: Merry Christmas! Happy every day!

When the "old" people arrive at Christmas, their "friends" are supreme. Cherish the love of "friends", smile "wish" peace, welcome "you", meet "saints" on Christmas Eve, live happily, act quickly and get together.

Snowflakes are fluttering and cool. On Christmas Eve, I sighed softly at the candle. Happy smile, like bright light. Deep tenderness, such as bright stars. I wish you peace. Love waves, spend Christmas together.

With the coming of Christmas Eve, I thought of my friends far away. May the bright and festive Christmas candle warm you every day and night of the year, just as my smile always fills your heart! Merry Christmas!

Snowflakes are floating in the sky outside the window, and hymns in the church are flowing in the crowd. I am praying: May the candlelight on Christmas Eve open your heart and make your life more brilliant!

I want to send you an apple that is half green and half red on Christmas Eve. The green one represents me and your past, a little green. The red half represents my happiness and sweetness for you now and in the future ... Merry Christmas to you!

The sea is calm, and the moonlight reflects the sea very romantically. I threw the glass bottle full of blessings into the bay with the bell, and the bottle floated with the tide. If you receive this letter in the bottle, it is the person I care about most. Merry Christmas!

The green Christmas tree is full of my thoughts about you, the long Christmas socks are full of my love for you, the beautiful Christmas candles light up my blessings to you, and the lovely Santa Claus brings you my greetings. Merry Christmas!

Colorful snow fell in the dark sky, and the cold forgot the yearning for moonlight. The pine and cypress are wrapped in silver, and the breeze is swaying, blowing a little bit of yearning, so that the calm night brings me my deep blessing: Christmas is safe and happy!

It was Christmas Eve again, which lasted for several years. Passionate love is still there, followed by deep affection; In fact, plain is true. Then, let's always keep our love in our hearts … Merry Christmas and a happy life!

Snowflakes flying all over the sky, with frozen fingerprints in my heart, quietly fly to you in the depths of my thoughts. In this quiet moment, let's hold hands and fly happily in the Christmas bell. ...

If you look up at the night sky tonight and there is a star twinkling, it is to wish you a safe life; There are thousands of stars shining, that is to wish you happiness forever; If there are no stars, it is too many blessings that make all the stars pale.

If you can shine sunshine, whose heart do you want to warm? If you can blow the spring breeze, whose smile do you want to stretch? Who do you miss on this Christmas Eve? No matter how things change,