Ask Ge You to have a classic conversation with a woman on Dalian bus mobile TV.

Classic, laugh every time you hear it in the car. It's really interesting.

Classic dialogue between A and B

One of the clips]

Ge You: "Listen to the gongs and drums, how beautiful! This nation is charming! " Sister, do you have forty? "

"I am 78 years old!"

Liu Bei: "That's not true. Dress a little brighter, and you will believe it at the age of 38! "

"Ok, thank you!"

Liu Bei: "Hey, look, is someone going to jump into the river?"

Ge You: "Ouch! Girl, girl! "

"1 years ago today, I jumped from here and was saved; 1 year later, I feel really stupid. "

"You think you are not stupid today? I practice qigong here! "

Liu Bei: "Oh, look at this furniture store. It's really big and spectacular. You just come in and don't buy anything, just look happy! "

Ge You: "The quality of things is second, and the beauty of shopping guide comes once in a blue moon. You're not a retired stewardess, are you? ("no") It must be. Is it possible? ! "

Liu Bei: "This car is really stable to drive, just like riding a Mercedes."

Ge You: "More comfortable than Mercedes-Benz. Can Mercedes stand up straight without a meeting? "

Liu Bei: "that's not only this, but also our bus line!" "

(crowd: hey, I love to hear this. If you want to have fun, you have to talk about our working class! )

Liu Bei: "Hey, look at that gentleman. At first glance, he is a rich man, rich and from the right path. He can be called handsome and rich! "

Ge You: "Yes, look how well that suit fits him, just like it grows on him. Look at Mr. Wang's hand again. It seems that he didn't do any work. How thin and long! He is sure to play the piano! (Liu Bei: "Well, it's true!" ) Let's see how people pay for their bags. Look, look, just use two fingers, and then gently clamp, no one will know ... "

Liu Bei: "Hey, it seems that the gentleman didn't take out his wallet!" "

Ge You: "Hey, thief, catch thief!" "

Ge You: "At the end of this day, I am more tired than running a small country!"

Liu Bei: "Don't tell me, when I caught a thief today, I really stood in awe of you for a moment."

Ge You: "Do you think you feel safe by marrying me?"

Liu Bei: "Do you really want that house so much? Marriage without love is unhappy. "

Ge You: "A marriage without a house is unhappy."

[Fragment 2]

"There is no hate for no reason, and there is no love for no reason. Why is she so kind to me? Why is it obedient? Why do you see me like a cat holding a mouse? Why? I thought to myself, "it must be a very enjoyable thing to suffer indignities!" "

Liu Bei: "If you want to know the taste of pears, you have to taste them yourself."

"Then you will see it, don't be soft!"

Liu Bei: "I don't know if I understand correctly, if I don't give you any good looks." (Yes), I get slapped when I open my mouth. Yes, I'll let you do all the hard work. It is light to give you a big mouth if you are not treated as a person. " Yes, that's what I mean! ) ok, wait for the notice! "

Liang Zi: "Go back to your master's wife, Zhang's rent is still confiscated!" "

Ge You: "That won't do. We must do it according to the contract. The landlord has no surplus grain! "

Liang Zi: "Yes, pig, their family ate it by themselves yesterday, and the big girl left the west exit the day before yesterday."

Ge You: "What about the second girl?"

Liang Zi: "Let the landlord Li's family take it away first, and now only the tenant Zhang is left."

Ge You: "What about that boy?"

Question: "Where are you talking so much nonsense? You are asking around. Come, find someone. "

(tenant Zhang pushes the door in) "I'm Zhang!"

Liu Bei: "Liang Zi, since Mr. Zhang is here, let all our mules, horses and other big animals rest!" " "Come back, go and show Mr. Zhang a change of clothes. It's not like work! "

Scene 1: grinding

"Run!"

Zhang: (grinding) "Boom, what's the matter? Boom, what's the matter? "

Scene 2: Get on the horse

Ge You: "Go, bring the horse stool!" "

"Yes," said Zhang, "Kneel here!"

Zhang: "What is this? What is this? !"

Scene 3: Pass the tea

Ge You took a sip, spit it out, and spilled the rest of the tea on Zhang's face. "You are anxious, you are anxious!"

Scene 4: Hit Liu Bei's leg

Zhang was so tired that he fell asleep. Ge You was trying to poke a cigarette rod, but Liu Bei stopped him. Liu Bei tore the hair clasp off his head and asked Ge You, "Can you tie it?" Ge You asked Liang Zi, "What do you think?" Liang Zi said, "Don't go too far."

Liu Bei hesitated whether to tie it up.

Zhang woke up suddenly (Liu Bei's "Oh, you scared me to death"). "You are too bossy. I'm going to the consumer association to sue you! "

Everyone rushed, "I'm sorry" and "I told you, don't get excited!" "I didn't dare to stick it hard!"

Ge You: "The taste of suffering indignities ..."

Zhang (angrily): "You can try, so can you!" "

Ge You: "I know it's hard. Don't bully your wife in the future. People are all meat, and the couple should be considerate of each other. What do you think? "

[Fragment 3]

Xiaogang Feng: "Princess Aytula is the only daughter of Prince Escala, and Prince Escala ranks among the billionaires in the world 17. One day ... "

Bachelor youth: "What does what you said have to do with me?"

Xiaogang Feng: "Listen, Princess Aytula officially called the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of China and asked to have dinner with you, during which she may propose to you."

Youth: "Du, have you alarmed the government?"

Xiaogang Feng: "Our government officially approved this invitation, but you are not allowed to marry her."

Youth: "Well, well, what should I do if I like it?"

Ge You took over: "Princess Aytula has someone!"

The young man was in trouble in the garden. The first issue said, "There is a thief!"

Youth: "Invitation, I have an invitation ..."

Liang Zi: "Take it down!"

Youth: "What is this, this, this ...? "

(The servant asks, "What should I do?" )

Liang Zi: "Pull it into the garden and feed it to the dog!" "

Youth: "I have an invitation. Princess Aytula sent me. What are you doing? "

(here comes the princess ~)

"Your highness, your servant has disturbed you."

Liang Zi: "Princess, we just caught a thief. We will give it to the princess to feed your dog."

Liu Bei: "No, kill my dog and feed him!" "

Ge You: "This is our princess's distinguished guest. Put people down quickly! "

Liu Bei: "I scared you."

Young man: "You are Tula. I tell you, I am very wronged. "

Liu Bei: "They are snobs. I hope I didn't spoil your fun. "

Youth: "Can I not be a wet blanket?"

(Ge You shouts "Serve in the restaurant!" Hearing this, the young man's legs went soft and he almost fell down.

Youth: "It's really Sister Lin from heaven. Why do you have a crush on me? We haven't even met. "

Liu Bei: "The fortune teller said that we were married, and I believe in my fate."

Youth: "I'm not dreaming, am I?"

Liu Bei: "After today, we won't see each other for a long time. I need some time to finish my own career. Will you wait for me? "

Youth: "Yes, I am waiting for 10 years!"

Liu Bei: "I'm so touched. Take care of yourself for me! " "

Youth: "Don't worry!"

Liu Bei: "Oh-yeah!"

Ge You poured wine and said to Liu Bei, "Hurry!" Liu Bei: "Don't rush!"

Liu Bei: "What a wonderful night! I have been looking forward to this day! "

Youth: "I can't hear you!" " "

Ge You: "She said' What a wonderful night', that's all!"

Youth: "Hey, don't just eat me, you also eat!" "

Liu Bei: "I am willing to watch you eat, my darling!" " "

Ge You muttered, "Cold ~".

Liu Bei and Liang Zi high-fived and said, "You stay, he's fired!"

[Fragment 4]

Boss, you: "I eat lobster like mussels every day, and every meal is big fish and big meat, which makes me sick (patting Ge You's thigh)! Not eating is not enough (patting Ge You's thigh), offensive! I, even in my dream, have thought about a few hard days, such as wild vegetables and sticky porridge. You can let me make it full of energy ... hey, do you understand what I said? ! (patting Ge You's thigh) "

Ge You: "Well, let's go to my uncle's house. This is a remote mountainous area and has just suffered a disaster. "

Boss, you: "Good! (patting Ge You's thigh) I can tell you the truth. If I eat something fishy, I'm not finished with you! (I want to pat Ge You's thigh again, but I was blocked by Ge You) "

Ge You: "Whenever you get excited, clap your legs."

Boss, you: "Not bad again!"

(Ge You pats the boss at you) "That won't do either!"

Ge You: "Agreement: Party A: Mr. You Wancheng, and Party B: Have a nice day trip, referred to as sleepwalking. Party A and Party B reached the following agreement through consultation:

1. Party A obliges Party B to realize his painful dream.

2. Party B shall spare no effort to creatively fulfill Party A's trust.

3. If Party A unilaterally terminates the dream without Party B's permission, it will be regarded as a breach of contract. In parentheses, in case of war, natural disasters and force majeure, (especially interrupted: "The sky is falling!" ), Party A shall compensate Party B for all losses.

Four ... "

Boss: "Forget it, I can't finish signing it for you. I want to take back my words. Look, this stadium and this run,

It's all yours "

Ge You: "This is my second uncle's house."

Liang Zi: "How about you, boss? Is this place bitter enough? "

Boss: "No, there are chickens!" "

Ge You: "My second uncle, Mr. You will leave it to you. He eats whatever you usually eat. "

Boss, you: "That won't do. I have to eat worse than them. Didn't I come all the way here just for my bitter dream? " ! "

"Well, then you can't leave money on you, and we have to take the mobile phone."

"You take them all away."

"We also take this car. When you want to eat meat, we will pick you up. "

Ge You: "Uncle, when we leave, you must keep an eye on the chickens in the yard and count them every day."

Xiaogang Feng: "How time flies! It's autumn in a blink of an eye! ……"

Liang Zi: "Shouldn't we let You Na come back? We have been in the mountains for two months. "

Xiaogang Feng: Forget it!

Boss you curled up in the earthen kiln at the head of the village and couldn't help crying when he saw Mercedes-Benz.

My second uncle: "Oh, you can come, especially since the boss is turning into a weasel!" "

Ge You: "Does he want to eat meat now?"

My second uncle: "He even ate mice, but he just wants to eat people!" "

Ge You: "He ate all the chickens in our yard?"

Second aunt: "Oh, he never spared the chickens in the village!" "

Xiaogang Feng: "Come, come, come, say goodbye to my second uncle. Come on. "

Boss: "I told them to say goodbye to me long ago." I hope you can pick me up at the earthen kiln at the entrance of the village every day. I won't get off this time. I tell you, don't try to leave me again! "

Xiaogang Feng: "That won't do. You give people all the meat they can eat in their village. You can't be reasonable without getting off the bus and saying hello! "

Boss: "I know I have done enough harm to this village." I will definitely do more good for the villagers. I will invest in a chicken factory for them first, and I will give them 10 if I eat one. "

Xiaogang Feng: "Everything will be fine, won't it? In two years, the mountain will be rich. If you want to suffer any more, you have to send you to the desert no man's land. "

Boss: "Forget it, I want to sleep with lobster all my life!" " "