Any good jokes?

There is a penguin whose home is far from the home of the polar bear. It will take 20 years to get there on foot. One day, the penguin stayed at home and was bored. He was going to play with polar bears, so he went out, but on the way, he found that he forgot to lock the door. It's been 10 years, but the door still has to be locked, so the penguin went home to lock it. After locking the door, the penguin set out again to look for the polar bear, which means it took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home ... Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "Polar bear, polar bear, penguin wants to play with you!" " "Guess what the polar bear said when he opened the door? ...... "Let's go to your house to play ~" 2. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "boss, do you have a hundred buns?" "Boss:" Oh, sorry, not that much. " "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left in frustration. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have one hundred steamed buns? "Boss:" Sorry, I haven't. "I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left in frustration again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have one hundred steamed buns? "The boss said happily," Yes, yes, we have one hundred steamed buns today! ! "The little white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I'll buy two! "Xiao Ming said," Kang, ask you, "A shark ate a mung bean. What did it become? Kang said, "I don't know. What is the answer? Xiao Ming said, "Hey! Hey! The answer is "green bean paste (mung bean shark)", you idiot! The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution. Make the lunch box blue. 5. One person has a bad stomach. One day, he went to the Stomach Hospital and said to the doctor, "I pull everything, eat watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber!" " "The doctor thought about it and said to him," I think you have to eat shit! "6. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl," Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high? The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will shine!" " "7. There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pluck their hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear, "It's so cold!" When the polar bear heard this, he tore off his hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, "It's really cold! "8. There is a loaf of bread. When you walk, you get hungry, so you eat it yourself. Q: What do African cannibals eat? A: people! Q: Then one day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be a vegetarian. What did he eat? A: Eat vegetables! ~~ 10 American: Have you ever seen a cup made of wood? China: No! American: Then why is the Chinese character "cup" beside the wooden character? China people: Isn't there a word "no" next to the word "cup"? In other words, it is not made of wood. Small white+small white =? White rabbit (2) ~ 12 q: what happens when a fat man falls from 12 floor? A: Fat man 13. Asun and appa have nothing to talk about, and time waits for no one. A song: "Recalling my childhood, the happiest thing is Children's Day. "appa:" Youth Day will be in ten years. "Song:" Father's Day is in ten years. "Appa:" It will be a festival for the elderly in a few decades. " Song: "In a few decades. "appa:" Tomb-Sweeping Day. 14 When the millionaire drove a luxury extended Lincoln car through a village, he saw two beggars pulling grass at the roadside to eat, and the millionaire stopped immediately. Why do you eat grass? ""We really don't have money ... "A beggar replied, really, get in the car and go to my house. ""I have a wife and two children at home ... "A beggar complained." Call them. The rich man pointed to another beggar. "And you, call home." "My family has a large population. Besides my wife, there are five children. " Another beggar said. "It doesn't matter, they all called, and went to 1. In this way, two beggars and their families got on the bus, but it was a long bus. On the way to exercise, a beggar's wife said gratefully, "Boss, it's very kind of you, even a poor person like us can invite you home." "The millionaire replied," Nothing, I just came back from abroad, and my house has been neglected. The lawn in the yard may be more than one meter high, so you can eat enough. In order to boost morale, the head of the guild came to the front of the grassland. Report to the member archers: report to the head! There is a Bezos archer beside the tent 20 meters ahead, but his accuracy is poor. He has shot many times these days, but he didn't hit anyone. After listening to this, the colonel asked: Since we have found the enemy archer, why not kill him? The archer said: Report to the team leader! No, don't you want them to exchange it for a more accurate one? Soldier: "Thirst ... Thirst ..." Cao Cao: "Hold on a little longer! I have been to this place before, and I remember there is a Merlin nearby. It's only a short walk to "Zhongbing:" Oh! There are plums to eat! Oh! " The expedition found a lot of water! "Cao Cao:" Ha ha ha ha, did you hear that? Finally, there is water to drink. Soldier: "If you don't go ... you must find Plum ..." 17 A girls' school is haunted. One day I was met by Xiaohong. The ghost said: junior. . . Look at that. . . I have no feet. . . I have no feet. . . Xiaohong: That's nothing. Listen, senior, I don't have breasts. I have no breasts. 18 A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why don't they say hello? (Assuming they can talk) Because of ...................., because of ........................, because they are strangers ~ ~! Haha, 20 little snakes asked Brother Snake in a panic .. "Brother, are we poisonous?" The snake said, "Why do you ask?" The little snake said, "I accidentally bit my tongue just now." 22 race between the tortoise and the hare ... The hare quickly ran to the front ... The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come on, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail climbed up ... Soon ... The tortoise saw an ant again ... and said to him: Come up, too ... So the ant came up. When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and greeted him. Do you know what the snail said? Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast ... 26 Every time I see you wearing stockings ... I have an unspeakable feeling in my heart, that is ... the radish is wrapped in plastic wrap! One day, a mother-in-law sat halfway by car, and she didn't know the way. Her mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this? Driver: This is my ass. A: "I'll take you to a place where all girls don't wear bras." B: "Really? Where is it? Take me quickly! " A: "It's in the kindergarten next door!" One day, the teacher took a group of children to the mountain to pick fruit. He announced: "children, after picking the fruit, we can wash it together, and we can eat it together after washing." All the children went to pick fruit. As soon as the assembly time came, all the children got together. Teacher: "Xiaohua, what do you have?" Xiaohua: I'm washing apples because I picked them. "Teacher:" What about you, Xiaomei? "Xiaomei:" I'm washing tomatoes because I picked tomatoes. "Teacher:" The children are great! Where is Amin? "Amin:" I'm washing cloth shoes because I stepped in shit. Bad news: A pilot fell off the plane. Good news: He brought a parachute. Bad news: parachute bad news: there is a haystack. Bad news: There is a dung fork on the haystack. Bad news: He didn't fall on the dung fork. Bad news: He didn't fall on the haystack. Monkeys should put peanuts in their buttocks before eating them. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey is afraid. You must measure it before eating now. One night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, there was a sudden "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead. The woman, desperate, knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Whatever, but please don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? So now you start chasing me. " 4 1 new nurses in mental hospitals. This woman is new here. When she saw a patient circling around an ancient well in the hospital, she read: "13, 13, ..." The little nurse was very surprised. She couldn't figure out what this "13" meant. She's been watching. She always wanted to go forward and ask the truth, but she was afraid of the patient's attack and never dared. One day, the little nurse finally lost her curiosity, walked slowly to the patient and looked into the well with her probe. Suddenly, the patient hugged the nurse's leg, threw it down and began to read: "14, 14, 14, ..." 42 The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so it scratched itself and burned itself. ...