Chaoshan comedy fortune telling

Funny script-don't read it if you don't like it

Please let me near.

At a busy intersection, there is a big chess. Near-re-embodiment camel

Tianyuan: Hi, auntie, fortune telling?

Hey, beggars. How to talk!

Tianyuan: Impossible! Are you lying? Please forgive me for lying to grandma.

I will kick you to death.

Tianyuan: Look for yourself. The wrinkles in the corner of your eyes are so deep that who can't recognize them?

A: That's because you are old, so everyone wants to be older than themselves.

Tianyuan: Yes, the girl's criticism is very accurate. I must be envious to see that I am still so young.

Are you human?

Tianyuan: Why not? I am human!

A: The words on your national flag seem to be wrong.

Tianyuan: Where? There is nothing wrong with it.

Have you ever read a book?

Tianyuan; Yes, but I didn't graduate from primary school.

A: No wonder it is wrong.

Tianyuan: Why, you are crazy!

a； Yes, I'm a psycho. Are you crazy!

Hello! Honey, I'm coming! How did you get here? (Then pointing to Tianyuan) Sorry, man, my wife is out of her mind and has given you trouble! (To A again) I told you not to run around. Why are you so disobedient? Do you want me to spank you? (Pointing at the sky and telling A) There are so many bad people now. How can I live alone if something happens?

Tianyuan: It seems that I will never look like a bad person.

(A suddenly hugs Tianyuan) A: Mom, I want to drink milk. (crying)

(Tian Yuan kicks her away): The child is good, but the mother has no milk. Lie on the ground and sleep. Be obedient

B pull out the nail.

Tianyuan: Hey, psycho, don't let him run around. Forget it. What if you don't pay? What should I do if I don't tell my fortune and pass on my mental illness?

A quiet place. B: Open your wallet quickly.

A: Only 20. 17 cents.

B: It seems that the fortune teller will be laid off soon.

Act ii

At night, the long bridge is brightly lit. Only Tianyuan and Xiangxiang.

Tianyuan: The weather is good today. (Xiang Xiang looks at the water under the bridge)

Xiangxiang: If you have anything to say, just say it. I have no time. (Look at the table)

Tianyuan: No, I just want to see you.

Fragrant and fragrant; Then I'm leaving.

Tianyuan: No! Xiangxiang, don't abandon me.

Xiang Xiang: Impossible. I have decided to marry my boss next month. We'll go our separate ways from now on.

Tianyuan: I didn't expect you to be such a heartless woman and waste my deep affection for you. I can't believe I wasn't even invited to the wedding party. How can I not come when you get married? Even if you don't invite me, I will climb here. It won't be too humiliating if you don't come. Right? Come on, I must come!

Xiang Xiang: You will only lose my face. It's been three years. I've been waiting for you for three years Not only have you not changed, but you have become more like a person than a person, and ghosts are not like ghosts.

Tianyuan: I haven't changed, Xiangxiang. I still love you. Marry me and I will give you happiness.

Xiangxiang: Didn't you say that you can earn1100,000 in three years? Where is the money?

Tianyuan; I used to have it, but I lost it.

Director: Stop, what's wrong? Did you drink too much yesterday? Can you speak more innocently and tremble? You should always remember that you have never seen so much money. You're kidnapping women. Of course I'm nervous.

Tianyuan: Yes.

Director: Here we go again!

Xiang Xiang: You will only lose my face. It's been three years. I've been waiting for you for three years Not only have you not changed, but you have become more like a person than a person, and ghosts are not like ghosts. Didn't you say that you can earn10 million in three years? Where is the money?

Tianyuan; I used to have it, but I lost it.

Xiangxiang: Then what do you have to say?

Tianyuan: Yes. I believe that our love can surpass money. If you want.

Xiang Xiang: Impossible, really impossible. It's far away, my life needs money, my illness needs money, and my family needs money. Everything needs money, you know? I no longer believe in love. Love is just a poet's perfect lie! I live a life of material poverty. From now on, I will pursue my own happiness. Can you leave me alone?

Tianyuan: If that's what you think, there won't be happiness there, maybe only the grave.

Xiangxiang (finally unbearable, shouting at Tianyuan): Anyway. I don't even want to see you again. I'm fed up with you, you know?

Tianyuan: I know. I'm leaving now. But I still want to say, Xiangxiang, it's time to turn around.

Xiangxiang: If you don't leave, I'll call the police.

Tianyuan: No. If you really can't be your husband, I wonder if you can let me be your lover?

Xiang Xiang: Go to hell. If I had a knife in my hand now, I will stab you to death without hesitation.

Tianyuan: Well, since Xiangxiang hates me enough to kill me, I will never let you down. It is better to die at the hands of the person you love most today than to be bitten to death by an unknown wild dog in the future. There is a pair of sharp scissors in my pocket, which my poor mother asked me to keep for self-defense when she went out. Use it if you don't mind!

Author: 22 1.208.236. * 2005-12-2612:19 reply to this statement.

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2 funny script

Xiangxiang: Bring it.

Tianyuan: You should think about it.

Xiang Xiang: Bring it here. Are you afraid?

Tianyuan: Hum, gentleman, there is nothing to be afraid of when you are born with He Huan. Here you are (I took something out of my pocket and threw it to Xiangxiang. )

Xiang Xiang: Isn't this a toothbrush?

Tianyuan: It seems that my old mother took it by mistake. Excuse me, let me have a look. Alas, you are wrong. This is obviously a bamboo stick! How can it be a toothbrush?

(Music begins) Tianyuan is holding the toothpick. Shed sad tears.

Tianyuan: Oh, my poor old mother, how could you be blind at a critical moment? You used to have good eyes, I'm sure, but have you changed so much in such a short time? I want to thank you, because you are my favorite mother. You once gave me life, but today you saved my life, and you won't fall into the sad swamp of losing me. But I also blame you, because you make me unable to express my courage to die and let me win the heart of a beautiful woman.

Xiang Xiang: You are really crazy.

Tianyuan: But to prove that I am really not afraid of death, you can strangle me.

Xiangxiang: If you really want to die, go to the middle of the bridge and get killed by a car.

(Just then a truck comes and Tianyuan stands there. The truck driver is an alcoholic and drives into the sky. )

Xiang Xiang: No. You will send the driver to prison.

The truck passed by and Tianyuan stood up in a trance.

Act iii

Schreiber: You said it was impossible to make a million dollars by fortune telling.

Tianyuan: It seems impossible.

Tianyuan's business is very good at night, which has never been better.

Police 1: You are under arrest.

Tianyuan: How is that possible? I didn't kill anyone or set fire to it. Dude, don't joke like this in peacetime. People will laugh their heads off.

Policeman 2: So, sir, what do you think of feudal superstition?

Tianyuan: The police officer asked a good question. Ask about the quality of China people. It shows that the police are all highly educated people. I like to answer questions from qualified people. Although you are the thirteenth person to ask me this question, don't worry, I will explain it to you carefully and patiently. first ...

As soon as the police officer got impatient, he took out his handcuffs.

Tianyuan: Wait, I have something to say. Officer, what I'm promoting is only pseudo-feudal superstition, which is false. So I'm not guilty at all

Officer 2: Crime. This is a crime of forgery.

Tianyuan: OK, just a moment, please. Officer, help me with my book. I slipped and fell.

Tianyuan stuffed the book on the policeman and ran away.

Get him.

Tianyuan: Come and arrest me if you dare!

Police 1: See where you are going?

Tianyuan ran into an alley and two policemen were attacked from both sides. Tianyuan has no way out. It is dark in the alley, so people can't see clearly. Tianyuan vaguely saw a man coming out of the window.

Tianyuan: Hey, buddy, do you remember me?

Thief B: It's you. Aren't you the fortune teller?

Tianyuan: That's me! You're still working at this late hour! I just saw two policemen coming from the front. It would be better if you ran back. By the way, I'll hold your things for you first. Look back, you asked me for it.

The thief disappeared into the darkness.

Tianyuan: Catch him and see where you are going.

The policeman ran past Tianyuan: You can't run away.

In a dark room, the light suddenly came on. Tianyuan was tied to a post and a group of people came in.

Thief B: Boss, this is the kid who lied to me.

Boss: Boy, who is your boss?

Tianyuan: I have no boss. The little one is just a fortune teller. I really didn't mean it that day. I really want to help your brother. It's all those dead cops They won't let it go.

Boss: Dead policeman, why are you arrested?

Tianyuan: It's a little historical. But the main reason is that my fortune-telling expenses are relatively high recently. The dead policeman said that I deliberately raised prices and disrupted the normal operation of the market. In fact, how dare I? If I want to aggravate my crime, I have nothing to say.

Boss: Who will untie me? I like you and I admire you. You can stay with me from now on.

Tianyuan: No, I can't be a thief.

Boss: Why, look down on us thieves.

Tianyuan: No, even if you lend me 300 courage, I dare not look down on thieves. It's just that I promised my girlfriend to earn10 million and then pick her up. You know, fortune-telling business is really good recently.

Boss:100000? As long as you follow me, I'll give you1000000, okay? You can have it at any time.

Tianyuan: Impossible! Boss, can I think about it?

In my sleep at night, voice-over: You said fortune-telling can't earn1100,000.

Tianyuan: It seems that it can't be done in a hundred years.

Boss's voice: What about being a thief?

Tianyuan: You can hug and sleep right away.

Boss: Have you thought about it?

Tianyuan: Maybe I'll reconsider.

Author: 22 1.208.236. * 2005-12-2612:19 reply to this statement.

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3 funny script

Act IV

The seaside is sunny and crowded. Tianyuan suddenly appeared in rags.

Tianyuan: Xiangxiang, it's me!

Xiang Xiang: Not you. How did you get here?

Tianyuan: Looking for you!

Xiangxiang: Why are you dressed like this?

"Tianyuan is very handsome. I don't know how many young girls I dumped along the way. But which one of them knows that I have a sweetheart. I think I really can't express my infatuation with you without this dress.

Xiangxiang: I really want to say that I don't know you.

Tianyuan: No! Why don't you say you don't know him when you know him clearly? Isn't that a lie

Xiang Xiang: OK, don't be wordy. Come with me to change.

Tianyuan: You won't let me wear your clothes! I don't wear women's clothes.

Xiang Xiang: No.

Tianyuan (disappointed): I hope not.

In the hotel, Xiang Xiang and Tian Yuan are in the room.

Xiangxiang: Why are your clothes so dirty? Take it off quickly. And the ones below.

Tianyuan; Excuse me.

Xiang Xiang: What are you embarrassed about? You're not wearing underwear.

Tianyuan: I just didn't wear it! If you don't believe me, I'll take it off for you.

Xiang Xiang: Don't be ridiculous. Come on, get dressed and leave before my fiance sees you.

Tianyuan wry smile, fiance.

Fiancee (pointing to Tianyuan): Who is he and how did he come to your room?

Tianyuan: Hey, let me introduce myself. My name is Tianyuan, Xiangxiang's ex-boyfriend. Shake hands.

Fiancee: Xiang Xiang, I don't care what this person had to do with you before. But from now on, I don't want to see him again, and I don't want to see anyone like him in your room again. Otherwise, you should also go.

Tianyuan: Xiangxiang, can't I take off my pants?

Fiancee: What? Xiangxiang, what pants? Take off what?

Xiang Xiang: No? He is stupid himself! I think he is dirty all over. I want to invite him to take a bath. You need to change your clothes, too

Fiancee: No, you can't! Let him find a place to solve it himself. Now I want him to leave this room at once.

Tianyuan: Hey, I warn you, don't talk to Xiangxiang so loudly! Do you know where I am? I ...

Fiancee: I don't care where I hang out. I want you to leave this room. Otherwise, don't blame me for being rude.

Xiang Xiang: No! It's far away. Go.

Tianyuan; No, I'm not leaving. I want to stay and protect you. Xiang Xiang, don't worry! As long as I am here, no one can bully you. If anyone touches a finger on you, I'll cut off his whole hand. If anyone touches a hair of your head, I'll cut off his dog's head. Smelly beard, what do you want? It's a deal, how can anyone know if you don't tell! Just because you have a beard doesn't mean you are a bird. I'm telling you, I was born with a longer beard than you, but now I've cut it short. and ...

Fiancee: I'll fall asleep if I listen to it any longer. Somebody please. Take him away.

Tianyuan was dragged out of the room by a gang of thugs and beaten up. Xiangxiang tried to kick him out, but her fiance stopped her.

Act v

At night. The dining room is brightly lit. Today is Xiangxiang's birthday, and her fiance held a birthday party for her.

Attendant: Miss Xiangxiang, your call.

Fragrant and fragrant; Hello, who are you?

Tianyuan: Xiangxiang, it's me. I'm not dead. Are you okay?

Fragrant and fragrant; Well, as long as you're not here, I'm fine I hope you don't come to me again.

Tianyuan; Xiangxiang, I know today is your birthday. Would you like to go with me? I will be good to you. I want you to be the happiest woman in the world.

Xiang Xiang: Impossible. I'm fed up with your sweet talk. I won't trust you anymore. You might as well go. There are thousands of girls better than me in the world. Why are you holding on to me?

Tianyuan: Because even though there are many customs in the world, I only have a soft spot for you. In my heart, only you are my favorite. Other women living in this world are just superfluous.

Xiangxiang: Sorry, you'd better go. (hangs up)

A few hours later, the telephone at the service desk rang again.

Attendant: Miss Xiangxiang, your call.

Fragrant and fragrant; Is it a man or a woman?

Attendant: It's a lady.

Xiangxiang: Hello, who is this?

Tianyuan: Xiangxiang, it's me?

Xiang Xiang: How can it be you and me? ...

Tianyuan: I want to see you one last time, really. I will leave you forever after seeing you. I'll wait for you outside, be there or be square.

Fiance: Xiangxiang, where are you going?

Xiangxiang: I'm going to the bathroom.

Fiancee: You are going the wrong way. The bathroom is over there.

Xiang Xiang: Oh.

Seeing that the banquet was over, Xiangxiang never came. Tianyuan is somewhat disappointed and lonely. A bunch of roses twisted in my hand, not in full bloom, seems to be fading. The night is very cold, and the horizon is swaying helplessly in the wind.

The light in Xiangxiang's room is on. Xiang Xiang sat alone by the bed. My eyes kept looking out of the window, trying not to think about the sky, but to remember it. It's raining outside. I wonder if it will. Is he really still waiting there? The sound of rain is vivid, like Mozart's piano music, quiet and lingering.

The door of the room finally opened and Xiangxiang flew out like a butterfly in a fairy tale. There is a vast world outside.

Tianyuan: Xiangxiang, I'm here.

Xiang Xiang: Why? Why are you so stupid? You know girls are easily moved. Why don't you go? You really want me to say, get out. Get out, you, get out! Sweet tears flow like an unstoppable flood.

Tianyuan walked blankly from behind the budding roses that were wet by the rain.

Tianyuan; A birthday present for you.

Xiang Xiang: I beg you, Tianyuan, you are a man. Don't be so stingy. I really don't want to involve you. I'm just a vain woman, and I don't deserve your love.

Tianyuan: I have. Even if you hate me.

Xiang Xiang grabbed the flowers from Tianyuan and threw them in his face angrily. Step back, then turn around and run away crying.

Tianyuan: Stop, director, can Xiangxiang be a little sadder, so I think it will be more helpful for me to enter the inner world of the protagonist.

Director: That's right. Miss Xiangxiang needs to cry a little more, and do it again.

Tianyuan: I have. Even if you hate me.

Xiang Xiang grabbed the flowers from Tianyuan and threw them in his face angrily. Step back, then turn around and run away crying.

Tianyuan (speaking to the heroine's back like a poem): Xiangxiang, what changed your eyes? Is it money? Please stop crying and listen to me quietly. Maybe I was wrong from the beginning. I shouldn't fall in love with you so madly. Now I still have a bunch of blooming roses in my hand. I want to tell you that no matter how you change, the rose in your heart will always bloom only for you.

With such a deep confession, what can stop the tears from bursting? I suddenly looked back like a wounded child, and the tears on my face were as crystal as pearls. )

Xiangxiang: Tianyuan, come here.

Tianyuan: Xiangxiang.

Xiang Xiang (a slap in the face): Don't think I will be moved by your playing like this. I told you, I don't believe in love anymore. Does it hurt to hit you?

Tianyuan: No pain, just a few brain cells died.

Xiang Xiang shivered and kissed Tianyuan's face for a long time.

Fragrant and fragrant; If one day, I don't love money anymore, I just want to live an ordinary life happily. Will you still want me?

Xiang Xiang left, and Tianyuan stood there without feeling. This is the first time Xiangxiang kissed him in three years.

End of movement

If one day, I no longer love money and just want to live an ordinary life happily. Will you still want me? )

Tianyuan; Xiangxiang.

It is a bear.

Tianyuan: Sorry, I mistook you for someone else. Dude, it's okay. Don't shake it in front of me, okay? I feel dizzy. Don't you know that your home is in the zoo?

Bear: You're not mistaken for someone else. My name is Xiangxiang.

Far away, I fainted.

Director: All right, stop. Let's call it a day.

Author: 22 1.208.236. * 2005-12-2612:19 reply to this statement.

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4 Reply: Funny script

Funny script-Tang Priest accepts disciples

The Monkey King was crushed by the Tathagata Buddha at the foot of Wuxing Mountain after a big fight in the Heavenly Palace. "Biwu", 500 years have passed. ...

Guanyin: Wukong!

Wukong: Shit! You again? You've been here once a week for 500 years. Do you know you are bored?

Guanyin: This is your fault. I came here today to tell you a good thing!

Wukong: If you don't let me out, it's impossible. I have my hands full right now. WWF invited me to be the image spokesperson, and Special Olympics invited Arnold. I just earned some pocket money.

Guanyin: But you are trapped at the foot of the mountain now?

Wukong: Dashan? If I hadn't given the Tathagata a little face, I would have turned into a fly and flew away. I just need to pay for living in other places. The scenery here is beautiful. When Guanyin MM comes to see me, I have to go to work during the day and come back to sleep at night?

Guanyin: Then why didn't you go to work today?

Wukong: Shit! Weekend, understand?

Guanyin: Of course!

Wukong: Then what did you come to tell me today?

Guanyin: Listen. (While speaking, he takes out a small notebook from his pocket) ... the Monkey King, male, was crushed under the Five Elements Mountain for making a scene in the Heavenly Palace 500 years ago. Now the aunts of the street management committee in Tianzhu area have raised their hands and voted to assign this person to a monk in the Tang Dynasty as an apprentice. If you don't listen, you will stick in his old wood, throw ~ ~ ~ sulfuric acid at him, trample on his little ass, and cancel his membership of "Henan Outdoor Alliance".

Wukong: What?

Guanyin: Shh ~ ~ ~ ~

Wukong: Shh, shh?

Guanyin: Shit! Shh, your mother! I told you not to talk, that monk is coming! I want to go first!

Wukong: Huh? Is this the monk?

Tang Priest: According to the map, it should be here, right?

Wukong: Ah! You stepped on my hand!

Tang Priest: Oh, sorry, I didn't notice you, turtle.

Wukong: Tortoise?

Tang Priest: Really? But I really haven't seen a turtle like you with a big shell and an old monkey face. Wukong: It seems that Guanyin is right. With your IQ, none of you can reach Tianzhu. ...

Tang Priest: Oh? You also know Guanyin? She must be the hottest MM in the local area. I wonder if you know there is a monkey named the Monkey King here?

Wukong: Here is my business card.

Tang Priest: Oh? Your name is the Monkey King, too? What a coincidence! Then you must know someone with the same name nearby?

Wukong: Shit! Think about it with your heel. You should think that I am the monkey you are looking for, right? I'm trapped under the mountain!

Tang Priest: Really? Don't lie to me. Do you think I'm a fool?

Wukong: Fool? Are you a fool? Are you praising yourself or calling a fool? How can you be such a stupid fool?

Tang Priest: Did you see this too? If I'm not stupid, who wants to come out and do this job?

Wukong: OK, OK, now you go to the top of the mountain, take off the seal on it, and I can go with you to learn the scriptures.

Tang Priest: OK, you wait.

Wukong: Hey ~ ~ ~ ~ Did you find it ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tang Priest: I found it ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ but I don't know which one ~ ~ ~ ~

Wukong: Shit! How many notes were posted on it?

Tang Priest: Many! "If you want to be rich, have fewer children and raise more * *", "only have a good child", "Stephen Chow community is neither white nor white", "there is no silver here" and "photography is forbidden here, and offenders will be fined" ...

Wukong: Yes, yes, that's the photo.

Tang Priest: All right! I already took it off!

Wukong: OK! Go away!

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Wukong: A little further. ...

Knock, knock, knock.

Wukong: A little further. ...

Knock, knock, knock.

Wukong: Further ... Tang Priest: Shit! It's far from India ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wukong: I'm coming out!

Tang Priest: Huh? The mountain didn't fall, so why did you come out?

Wukong: You climbed out of the cave and got a mountain?

Tang Priest: Did you climb out? Seals?

Wukong: it's just a formality ... in fact, the shelf life of the seal has long passed, and no one has come to replace it. The after-sales service is really ~ ~ ~ poor! Let's leave now.

Tang Priest: You are naked, aren't you?

Wukong: What's wrong with me?

Tang Priest: What happened to Mao? If I hadn't become a monk, I would have more hair than you! Here, put this on.

Wukong: Master, it's far from the Western Heaven. If you keep doing this, I'm afraid you won't get there.

Tang Priest: What's wrong?

Wukong: I'm really naked, but it won't help if you put this hoop on my head.

Tang Priest: Why so much nonsense? Put it on when I tell you to!

Wukong: Shit! If it weren't for Guanyin MM's face, I might kill you with a stick! (As he says, Wukong puts on a diamond ring)

Author: Hu Zheqiong 2005-12-2612: 21reply to this speech.

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5 Reply: Funny script

Tang Priest: ▲※◆ ■■

Wukong:? My head!

Tang Priest: Ha ha ha! Are you scared?

Wukong: Is this a long-standing "shake your head curse" in Jianghu?

Tang Priest: Yes, once you have heard this mantra of shaking your head, you will be addicted to it immediately. If you don't listen for a day, your blood will flow backwards; If you don't listen for two days, your whole body will fester; If you don't listen for three days, you will suffer from deficiency of both qi and blood, chloasma on your face, enlarged prostate and menopausal symptoms. Even if you eat Gaizhonggai oral liquid produced by Harbin Pharmaceutical No.6 Factory, it won't save you!

Wukong: How vicious!

Tang Priest: Hehe, as the saying goes, no poison is not a husband, and a small amount is not a gentleman!

Wukong: I'll listen to you from now on ... damn it, what is the "shake your head curse"? I hate it!

Tang Priest: Not good!

Wukong: What's the matter?

Tang Priest: Tiger!

Wukong: Master, tigers are not terrible. Haven't you heard that poem?

Tang Priest: Poetry?

Wukong: Yes! As the saying goes, "12345, go up the mountain to shoot tigers, tigers don't eat, just eat big bad guys ..."

Tang Priest: Please, this is a children's song. ...

Wukong: I mean, the tiger will not die with me!

Tang Priest: Shit! I asked you to protect me, not to be an ambassador for wildlife protection organizations!

Wukong: I understand! Listen, all right!

Tang Priest: Wukong, why don't you go?

Wukong: There is a river ahead!

Tang Priest: What is a river? Why don't you just beat him to death?

Wukong: Look, this is the river.

Tang Priest: Oh, this is a river!

(While speaking, I saw a flash of white light, and Tang Priest's mount was gone. )

Tang Priest: Wukong, the horse for the teacher is missing!

Wukong: The horse is missing? Shit! What else can you do? Do you still have your underwear?

Tang Priest: (Stretching out his hand and touching it) Fortunately, I haven't lost it!

Wukong: captured by the little white dragon in the river!

Tang Priest: White Dragon? It's so exciting. I didn't expect to meet a talking monkey and a white dragon eating horses today.

Wukong: When will the big scene be seen? You wait, I'll go down and find him!

Tang Priest: What? Can you swim? It's amazing!

Wukong: * * Water brain!

Soon, Wukong pulls the white dragon out of the water, and the white dragon turns into a human form and kneels in front of the Tang Priest. )

Bailong: Are you a monk from the East?

Tang Priest: Exactly.

Bailong: Master!

Tang Priest: Who? Me? Wrong person!

Bailong: Yes, that's you. Guanyin JJ told me to wait for you here.

Tang priest: Guanyin again? How did you get here?

Bailong: I was originally the third prince of the East China Sea Dragon King. I didn't expect my girl to hang a Kai Zi behind my back, and they left on my wedding night! I smashed the new house in a rage. I burned a night pearl, but I didn't expect this bead to be a gift from the Jade Emperor. The jade emperor punished me for saying tongue twisters, but I couldn't, so I was demoted here!

Wukong: Tongue twister? What do you mean?

Bailong: It means "the old monk carries the soup to the tower, and the tower slides with the soup and burns the tower".

Tang Priest: Oh? Isn't what you said quite good?

Bailong: Nonsense, I have been practicing here for more than fifty years!

Tang Priest: I see. How about I teach you a new one? "Eight hundred pacesetter run north slope, north slope artillery run side by side. The artillery did not dare to step on the pacesetter, and the pacesetter did not dare to touch the artillery gun. "

Wukong: What happened to the stopwatch? Say tongue twister again, I'm going to lose my temper!

Tang Priest: Wukong, you don't understand this. Tongue twister is a language game widely circulated among the people. Words with confusing initials, finals or tones are combined into overlapping sentences, which requires you to pronounce them quickly in one breath. When you are fast, your pronunciation is easy to make mistakes!

Wukong: Shit!

Tang Priest: Did you hit me again?

Wukong: Get to the point!

Bailong: Oh, I'm sorry, master. I ate your white horse, so let me turn into a white horse to carry it ~ ~ ~ ~ Why don't you go to learn from the scriptures?

Tang Priest: Hum! Good idea! I want a BMW!

Bailong: A famous car!

Tang Priest: Are you afraid?

Director: Cut!

Tang Priest: Hey! No need, right? Every episode, you come out and stop?

Director: BMW! Our funds are running out. How can we get props for you?

Tang Priest: BMW, the best is only a few hundred thousand.

Director: hundreds of thousands? No, let alone a BMW. Puma can't afford it, can it?

Tang Priest: OK, again!

……

Bailong: Oh, I'm sorry, master. I ate your white horse, so let me turn into a white horse to carry it ~ ~ ~ ~ Why don't you go to learn from the scriptures?

Tang Priest: Amitabha!

(Tang Priest draws his sword from behind and points it at Tianyi)

Tang Priest: Give me strength ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I ~ ~ ~ I am a ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Wukong: Cyril?

Bailong: It's my turn!

(White Dragon Transforms)

Tang Priest: Mule!

Director: Sorry, the funds are really insufficient. We must change horses in the next episode.

Bailong: Then please change it to white. This black mule is bad for my image!

Tang Priest: Yes, who has ever seen Tang Priest go out on a mule?

Director: Ladies and gentlemen, let's make do. Dinner tonight is on me.

Bailong: OK, that's settled!

When the sun sets, Wukong carries the burden, and Tang Priest rides a mule and walks to the altar in the afterglow of the sunset ...