Is the depression of "psychological" children really unrelated to their parents?

Is the child's depression really unrelated to his parents?

depressed

Is the child's depression really unrelated to his parents? In fact, parents may have done something invisibly, which directly or indirectly led to their children's depression.

Although I haven't become a parent, many parents always have such a question in the messages I read on Zhihu about their children suffering from depression: How can my children suffer from depression?

In the eyes of many parents, we cook for our children every day, send them to school and attend remedial classes. If it is not too much, we will buy whatever they want. We have paid so much for our children, why do children say they are unhappy and even suffer from depression?

In fact, parents may have done something invisibly, which directly or indirectly led to their children's depression.

1

-The first one-

left-behind?children

left-behind?children

Many parents are often separated from their children because of their work. But in the process of children's growth, parents' companionship and support are essential, especially in the process of children's psychological development.

When children are forced to become left-behind children, there is no one to talk to under pressure and no family support, then their chances of suffering from mental illness will be greater.

2

-The first one-

Parents often quarrel.

Often quarrel

It is nothing new for parents to quarrel, but if parents often quarrel, it will have a certain impact on children's minds.

Children may love their parents far more than their parents think. Therefore, children will certainly not feel good when they see two people they love venting their emotions violently and hurting each other.

In the process of quarreling, some parents even come to tell their children about the disadvantages of their spouses, which will make them feel embarrassed. You will start to wonder if you have done something wrong.

Because of the quarrel between parents, children will become more sensitive to the people around them and have nowhere to find them, which will also be one of the reasons why children suffer from depression.

three

-The third one-

Excessive care and love

corruption

Probably because of the only child, for the post-90 s and post-00 s, parents are such children Children will naturally become the apple of their eye. Parents will give their children the best and all the love and care.

However, when parents give their children love, it may also become a kind of pressure for them. Parents take care of their children in the way they think is right, but is this really what children need most?

Parents and children grow up in different environments, which also makes children's generation have stronger self-awareness than parents. Therefore, when the care and love given by parents are different from what children want, they will feel that even if parents love me and care about me, they have not got real love.

This lack of love is also one of the reasons for children's depression.

four

-The fourth-

Expect too much from children.

High expectations

It is nothing new for parents to quarrel, but if parents often quarrel, it will have a certain impact on children's minds.

Children may love their parents far more than their parents think. Therefore, children will certainly not feel good when they see two people they love venting their emotions violently and hurting each other.

In the process of quarreling, some parents even come to tell their children about the disadvantages of their spouses, which will make them feel embarrassed. You will start to wonder if you have done something wrong.

Because of the quarrel between parents, children will become more sensitive to the people around them and have nowhere to find them, which will also be one of the reasons why children suffer from depression.

five

Fifth

Overdependence on children

Often quarrel

Generally, mothers who rely too much on their children can be roughly divided into two types: the first is insecure mothers, and the second is single mothers.

Excessive dependence on children will lead children to bind their emotions with their mothers' emotions. When a child wants to do something, he will think of his mother's reaction, which will put some constraints on what he wants to do and his behavior.

In addition, children will also bear the pressure and negative emotions of their mothers. Although the mother confides in her child because the child is someone she trusts, when the child accepts too many negative emotions but has nowhere to vent, these negative emotions will accumulate and become the fuse for the child to break out of depression.

Give an example that you may be familiar with.

Last year's hit TV series "Little Joy Eiko's Mother" was rated as one of the most suffocating parents in domestic dramas. She quarreled with her ex-husband in front of Eiko, and often instilled her ex-husband's shortcomings. At the same time, she is too dependent on children. It is often mentioned in the play that in order to take better care of Eiko, she quit her job as a school teacher and became a tutor. She is also very dependent on children, and she doesn't want Eiko to go to college in other places because it will be far away from her. She also has high expectations for Eiko, and feels that it is nothing to be happy that Eiko won the second place in the grade instead of the first place.

These worries as a mother have become a kind of pressure in Eiko's eyes. All these pressures are piled up in Eiko's heart, and in the second half of the plot, Eiko suffers from depression, runs away from home and tries to jump into the sea.