Super classic funny copy

1. My wallet is like an onion, which makes me cry every time I open it.

2. Others fall in love by looks, routines and money. And I'm much simpler, just turning a blind eye to each other.

My girlfriend is a foodie. I remember the first time I took her home for dinner. My mother has been picking up food for her. Finally, she could not help it. She secretly said to me, "Can you give me a piece of meat?"

Don't mess around if you don't look good. Some people spend a lot of money to make exquisite princess rolls, but they look like Newton instead of a princess.

The meaning of a holiday lies in a morning you can't afford, a late night when you can't sleep, and a day when you can't go out.

6. Neighbors introduce blind dates and eat at home. The girl said shyly, "I hope I can still appear at your dinner table during the Chinese New Year." At this time, my sister said, "My family doesn't like pork."

7. The bus is too crowded now. I tried to fart secretly, but I just burped.

8. In order to become a rich second generation, I lie in bed every day to encourage my dad to stop lying every day and develop his career while he is young.

9. Don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, and others envy you for having a good stomach. You envy others that they have money, and others envy that no one asks you for money!

10. Now a man, what qualifications and elder sister said to grow old together? I'm completely bald before I grow gray hair.

1 1. No matter how beautiful your face is, it will grow old one day. I don't think I can afford this loss, so I have never looked good.

12. If you have a monthly salary of 2,000 yuan and want to buy a house and a luxury car of 100 square meter in Shanghai, you might as well set yourself a small goal, such as living for 250 years first, and then borrowing from heaven for 500 years.

13. Call me if you are really hungry, and I will buy snacks for you to chew as soon as possible.

14. Is the daughter-in-law important or the game important? Daughter-in-law is of course important, so I only dare to play games and dare not hit my daughter-in-law.

15. I can't find a girlfriend, so I have to tell my fortune. Fortune teller: Your first half life is doomed to be unattractive. My eyes lit up: what about the second half? Fortune teller: I'll get used to it for the rest of my life.

16. Some people stay in bed because they have money and can sleep as late as they want; You lie in bed because you have no money. It's a good idea to save a meal.

17. Girls just can't get used to it. The more you explain to her, the more energetic she becomes. You kneel on the spot and I'll see what she says.

18. My cousin is getting married, and menstruation is reluctant to say: Don't be willful after marriage, learn to be sorry for her husband, and help her to eat! Uncle is mending the knife: yes, it's not delicious. All the dishes you don't like are put in your husband's bowl!

19. observation shows that most people who love to sleep late accomplish nothing, while those who can persist in getting up early are in poor spirits all day.

20. There are always a few friends who are very gentle when they first met, and after a few days, they don't know which hospital they were discharged from.

2 1. At the beginning of junior high school, the principals of key high schools come to our school to recruit students and select the young prospects of key classes. The class teacher recommended me and two other male students, and the results were even. The headmaster took a fancy to me at a glance. The reason is that I am the ugliest and my hair is ugly. At first glance, it is a material for serious study.

I bought a piece of chicken breast yesterday and cried after eating it. Even chickens have breasts, but I don't.

23. If you run into a wall everywhere and always feel that your fate is unfair, then I suggest you buy more mirrors and have nothing to take pictures, so that you will understand a lot of things.

24. "Give me your bank account number and I will pay you back now." When I received this message, I was moved to tears. Half an hour later, I received another message, "Sorry, my bank card has been frozen. Please give me 2000 yuan, and I'll pay you back after thawing! " So I have an extra 2000 yuan in foreign debt, otherwise I can't get it back.