A child with cerebral palsy went to Harvard 29 years ago, and his mother wanted him to live. What happened to him?

Once, I was caught in a heavy snow on my way to a massage. I rode my bike and accidentally slipped into a puddle with my son. I lifted him up and the bike fell down. I lifted my bike and he fell down again. By the time he got on his bike and walked to the hospital, he had become a clay figurine.

2065438+In July 2005, Zou Xiuyan attended her son's graduate graduation ceremony.

The secret that Zou Yuyan was buried for 29 years was uncovered.

One day after Mother's Day, the story that she sent her cerebral palsy son to Harvard became a hot topic in Weibo.

Twenty-nine years ago, my son (Ding's second son studying in zhēng, reporter's note) was sentenced to death by the doctor because of asphyxiation in the palace at birth-"Either stupid or paralyzed, I suggest giving up". Maternal instinct drives Zou Yuyan to make a choice. She decided to take a gamble. I just want him alive.

After more than 20 years, Tintin's body has slowly recovered, and his appearance is no different from that of a normal person. Ten years ago, he was admitted to Peking University, and in a few months, he will graduate from Harvard.

/kloc-One morning in May, 2006, the 54-year-old mother described her life and death choices 29 years ago, the hardships of raising children alone, and the heavy blow that life gave her. She speaks very softly and her voice is very light. Smile from time to time when talking about my son's small changes.

As a single mother, she can't tell others about her pain. "Say what? What is the effect of someone comforting you and accompanying you to shed a few tears? Do you want to go by yourself or live by yourself? I am not the kind of person who wants to be pitied. "

She doesn't feel well either. "I was just unlucky, but I accepted and did what I should and could do."

Tintin was with his mother when he was seven months old.

I'm mom. I can't give up on him.

1988, 25 years old, teacher of Wuhan Kindergarten Normal School (now Wuhan City Vocational College). I became a mother that year.

Jiangcheng is very hot in summer. In July, I was sent to my mother-in-law in Jingzhou for labor.

At 6 o'clock in the morning of July 18, I was sent to a county-level hospital under the jurisdiction of Jingzhou City. It was an early shift in the hospital. I lay in the maternity bed for two hours. When the doctor took over, the child developed symptoms of intrauterine asphyxia. At half past nine, the child was born. Seven catties and six liang.

Because of suffocation at birth, the child was sent to the urban hospital for emergency treatment.

In the hospital bed, I was in a hurry. Four days later, I met my child for the first time. He is dirty and wrinkled. The nurse gave him an injection. Because the blood vessels are too thin, I can't insert the needle for more than half an hour. The nurse's bean-sized sweat dripped on her face, without any response and without frowning. The child next to him felt pain and cried, but he didn't.

The doctor said that the child was suffocating in the uterus and was given oxygen by tracheal intubation. He had a seizure the day after he was born. It may be severe cerebral palsy intracranial hemorrhage, but now the child is too young to do CT, and it is impossible to confirm how big the blood clot is. Then, she analyzed that there are two situations. One is that blood clots oppress the brain, affect cognition and cause dementia; One is to compress the cerebellum, affect the motor nerve and paralyze. To put it simply, the child is either stupid or paralyzed. When the doctor gave the critically ill notice, he said that you are still young and you can have a healthy baby in the future. Well, I suggest giving up. Unplug the oxygen pipe and it will be fine in a few minutes.

At that time, I had an overwhelming feeling, as if I was not standing on the ground, but floating up and floating in the air. The doctor said a lot later, but I felt her voice was getting farther and farther away.

In the corridor of the hospital, I burst into tears. I don't think this is fair. I work very hard. Why does bad luck happen to me? I'm completely ready to wait for this life.

During those ten months, I ate according to the recipes in the pregnancy guide. I haven't eaten pig liver before, but the book says that pig liver and animal liver are helpful to the formation of children's vision, so I ate, vomited and continued to eat. I got rid of the habit of staying up late. Read poems to him in the morning and play prenatal music before going to bed at night, hoping that he will have a good growth environment.

At that time, I liked Tetsuko Kuroyanagi's autobiographical novel Little Peas by the Window best. I often touch my stomach and say to him: Will you be as cute as Xiao Doudou in the future? Will you be better than him? Whether you are a boy or a girl, your nickname is "Doudou".

In the past ten months, although we haven't met, I have had so many exchanges with him. I'm mom. I can't give him up.

When the doctor asked for advice again, I said I didn't want to give up, I just wanted him to live.

I remember there were two extremely dangerous children in the ward. I woke up one morning to find that the child in the next bed was gone, and the couple were gone. The doctor said they gave up.

I looked at my children, not crying or making trouble, and suddenly remembered the words in the Book of Songs, "When logging tinkles, birds sing". Trees make some noises when they fall. If only my children could leave some sounds and actions for the world. I named him "Tintin".

I pretended to be strong at first, but it became true after a long time.

Ten days later, we were discharged from the hospital. I didn't feel scared until I got home. My son lying next to me couldn't lift his head and drooled, so I just stared blankly. My mind seems to think a lot of things, and it seems that I don't think anything-what if he is really stupid?

When the child was half a year old, I took him to the hospital to see an expert in intelligence. He has taken medicine more than eating since he was a child. But it has been impossible to determine whether there is a problem with intelligence. But when he was three months old, I showed him colorful balloons. Judging from the movement of his eyes, he seems to be able to distinguish colors. I was so excited that I thought he was at least not stupid.

When he was eight months old, the doctor confirmed that the child was mentally normal. However, the intrauterine asphyxia of that year still left him with sequelae. The doctor's diagnosis is normal intelligence, but he has left hemiplegia, poor left foot movement, uncoordinated walking and dyskinesia.

Other children can walk at the age of two, but he can't. He can only feel with his hands, and his grip strength and grip strength are very poor. He learned to walk when he was three. I helped him train at home and took him to the hospital for rehabilitation massage.

Tintin learned to walk when he was three years old.

Writing and using chopsticks are very painful experiences for him. What other children do easily, he takes several times as long as others. In order to train his grip, I competed with him to tear paper, and it took him a year to tear out the pattern. He can't hold the pen and chopsticks, so I compete with him to hand something until he can hold it steady and wait another year.

I take him for a full body massage three times a week. Hour by hour, at seven or eight in the evening, six or seven people surrounded him, pressing their hands, pressing their heads and pressing their necks. The last step is to pick up the skins on their backs and grind them bit by bit. Very painful, other children cry, parents cry with them, parents cry, and children cry more sadly.

At first, Tintin also cried. I told him it didn't hurt when you cried? If it doesn't hurt to cry, then you can cry hard and I'll help you cry. If not, we won't cry.

Later, I watched him lying in the hospital bed, biting his teeth and not crying, smelling and humming. I feel very sad. I know he hurts, but I still have to joke with him and say that I have a flower rolled on my back.

Once, I met with heavy snow on my way to massage, and accidentally slipped him into a puddle by bike. I lifted him up and the bike fell down. I lifted my bike and he fell down again. By the time he got on his bike and walked to the hospital, he had become a clay figurine.

My husband and I divorced when the child was 10 years old, but we have been talking about divorce since our son went to kindergarten. When we decided whether to save our son, differences existed. He advocates giving up, but I don't agree. Later, he told me that you will raise the children in the future. I said in a rage that I would raise it if I raised it.

Sometimes I feel too bitter and have no spiritual support. I will ask myself, is it worth it? Is it worth it? Once, he got up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, and the bedroom door was locked. I turned into his bedroom from the balcony on the seventh floor and opened the door. For more than ten minutes, the whole person collapsed on the ground. What if I fall down the stairs? At that time, I thought, if I can't go, I will take him with me. How can he live without me?

Once, I washed the pillowcase and found brown spots on the white cloth. My son asked me what it was. Later, I thought it might be tears. I cried unconsciously when I dreamed and stayed. Sometimes I'm really anxious.

I can't tell anyone about this pain. What can I do if I say it? What is the effect of someone comforting you and accompanying you to shed a few tears? You still have to go your own way and live your own life. I'm not the kind of person who wants to be pitied. If you can't live on sympathy, you might as well not cry.

In fact, at first I pretended to be strong, because my son needed me, and I was not strong. What should my son do? Pretend for a long time, and it will become true. I really care about this son, and it's really hard, but I pretend I don't care and I don't feel bad. In front of the hurdle, once or twice, when I look back, I find myself quite capable.

Ding Ding and his mother Zou Xiuyan.

How to prove that you are not stubborn?

I taught myself family massage. I will give him a massage when he comes home from school.

He is gradually recovering. When I was in primary school, the school was ten minutes' walk from our home. At first, his left leg was still depressed, slower than normal. At the green light, he can't cross the road. The red light is on. He stood on the zebra crossing and signaled to the passing cars to stop.

In primary school, I asked the teacher for an extension of time every exam because he wrote slowly. After the fourth grade, his speed gradually kept up. We have a strategy to keep the correct rate of what we have done, so that we can get good grades even if we can't finish the questions.

Zou Yuyan's recent photo.

What worries me most is that physical reasons will make him feel inferior. When he was a child, I bought many toys for my family to attract children from the compound to play with him. After all, he can't run around like other children. The doctor said that if there is a collision and the head is injured again, all previous efforts will be in vain.

I trained his memory and thinking ability by asking him to repeat the weather forecast and news broadcast. When he was in the lower grades of primary school, he liked to tell adults what he saw in the news, the disintegration of the Soviet Union. Adults all praised him. This invisibly enhanced his self-confidence.

In the first grade, I tried to get him to participate in military training and integrate into the group. But I also said hello to the teacher in advance. If he can't do it, I hope the instructor will not criticize him. Turn left, he is half a beat slow; He can't lift his legs and walk forward. The instructor never criticized him. Other children have opinions. The instructor said he was a child with cerebral palsy. Later, the students made up a jingle to scold him, "Ding Ding is a stubborn person (meaning" stupid "in Wuhan dialect, reporter's note)".

He called me and said he didn't want to go to school. I studied in Guizhou and took a 30-hour train ride to school. After class 10 minutes, I went to the podium and told the children about Tintin. I also told them that if God doesn't take care of you and makes you sick, you will suffer pain and humiliation. Don't you feel bad? My voice is a little choked up, and the children may be scared by such a scene. The whole class was silent.

I said to my son when I went out, how can you prove that you are not a stubborn person? Can dropping out of school prove it? No, you can only prove yourself with excellent grades.

Later, his grades have been in the top few grades.

When I was young, my wish was to study in Peking University, and later I went to the Chinese Department of Hubei University. When he was just sensible, I told him that Peking University is the place I really want to go, and you should help my mother fulfill her wish. He said, don't worry. Later, he was admitted to Peking University Institute of Environmental Science and Engineering with a score of 660.

2065438+In July 2005, Zou Yuyan was at her son's graduation ceremony.

It was already evening when I received the notice. When I saw the acceptance notice with "Peking University" written in red on a white background, my tears really began to fall. He is quite calm and has been worried about what to do if he can't keep up with his studies at Peking University.

After graduation, he was sent to peking university school of transnational law. This major change is also related to his health. Although he looks no different from normal people now, a lot of fine work can't be done. For example, he can't control the strength of his fingers and drops reagents into the test tube, sometimes more and sometimes less. Others can do two experiments a day. He may stay in the laboratory all day, but he can't finish either.

Harvard was applied for after he graduated from work. He used to work in an Internet company, but he felt that his position was too marginal and wanted to pursue further studies, so he applied for LLM (equivalent to China's Master of Laws, reporter's note) from Harvard Law School. Actually, it's just a one-year course. I went last summer and graduated this summer.

So there are so many such families.

My son's business may be the biggest hurdle in my life. I have crossed it, and other difficulties are nothing to me. Next year, I will also send the last student away and enjoy retirement.

Some people say I gave my son two lives. To some extent, this is true. If I sign it, he will die. He himself said that I was his spiritual mentor, teacher and friend.

Tintin's photo at the age of 20.

Someone asked me, if my son didn't go to Peking University or Harvard, he was just a mediocre person, and I wouldn't regret his choice and dedication. I really don't regret it My initial intention is that my children are healthy and happy and can make a better difference. It never occurred to me that he must go to Peking University.

After Ding Ding was admitted to Peking University, colleagues and friends around him learned about his illness and introduced me to some families with cerebral palsy. I just found out that there are so many such families. I used to think I was a case. At this time, I found that everyone was at a loss, confused, even depressed, painful and disappointed.

I discussed with my son whether we can tell our story and give some encouragement to children and parents in the same situation, so that they can have the confidence to go on. Treatment is better than no treatment. With more persistence and less giving up, these children may all become independent.

My son agreed. Our story is known by more people.

Many parents came to add me to WeChat and QQ. People with poor language development and hydrocephalus come to ask me what to do. I can't give them practical help. Really, I'm not a doctor and I don't know how to treat them. I can only tell them that they can take the initiative to learn some massage methods by going to the hospital for treatment. This is a positive attitude.

As a mother, I also understand them. They may not want professional help from me either, but they just need some moral support.

The medical level is much higher now than it was more than twenty years ago. I dare not say that there will be miracles if you persist, but it is better to persist than to give up. Giving up treatment means giving up hope and giving up the child's future.

I always think of a little boy who used to massage with Tintin. Because it was too painful, the child persisted for a month and did not go again. Later, I met his parents and told them that he had to stay at home and it was still inconvenient to move.