Somebody tell me two jokes, funny! Very interesting.

1, Tomb-Sweeping Day has arrived. Last night, my family and I went downstairs to burn paper money to worship our ancestors, leaving my sister to look after the house. As soon as I came back, my sister said to me, "Brother, a few people talked to you on the Internet just now, and I helped you reply!" " "I was curious to read the message record. As a result, my sister actually replied to me: I'm sorry, my brother is gone, and he can't come up to talk to you unless I help him burn paper ... 2. A person ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky: "I am dead, God help me!" " "When the light came on, I saw a voice from the sky:" Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader to death. " So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and threw it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, then glared at each other. At this moment, another voice came from the sky: "Now you are really dead."