What if the mother-in-law prefers boys to girls?

First of all, you must understand that you are the pillar of your little daughter, which is your motivation to resist violence. Mother-infant attachment will affect children's life, and healthy and safe attachment will give children a sense of security. How many girls who have failed in love or marriage are insecure? It depends on if you are the one.

Therefore, when the mother-in-law is hostile to the newborn baby girl, if the mother is weak and helpless, blindly endure, compromise and give in step by step, as the daughter who loves you the most, it is easy to feel your pain and helplessness. In the end, she will understand that your pain stems from her gender, and she can't help you change your predicament by changing your gender. The best way for her to protect you is to help you please your father and his family, including hating her "grandma".

With motivation, we should take action to protect ourselves and our daughters. Domestic violence is formally divided into physical violence, mental violence and sexual violence. Among the domestic violence caused by the idea of "son preference", physical violence and mental violence are most likely to happen to mothers and babies. When encountering physical violence, mothers can resort to legal weapons to protect themselves and their babies. For example, Ms. Zhang of Nanjing used legal weapons to end her mother-in-law's terrorist act of "often sitting on a high iron and beating her daughter-in-law" for one year in a row.

Improve the daughter's sense of self-worth. Maslow's "hierarchy of needs theory" holds that among the five levels of human psychological needs, only the lower level of needs can be met or basically met, can it rise to the higher level of needs, and self-realization needs to be at the highest level of psychological needs. People who pursue this psychological need are interested in realizing the value of "self" rather than proving anything.

People with low self-worth basically act to satisfy their self-esteem needs and to prove that I am strong. If a girl lives under the influence of son preference and can't meet her self-esteem needs, and is willing to endure it, then the child's sense of self-worth can hardly be improved and self-esteem needs to be met.

Therefore, when she gradually realizes the sexism from her elders, what you need is to communicate this "bad" thing with her positively, and make it clear that it is not her fault, not her fault, but the fault of grandparents.

Secondly, we should create a family atmosphere of "acceptance, gentleness and democracy" with our husbands, encourage children to exercise their independent rights reasonably, formulate their "code of conduct" and improve their sense of self-worth. "This child is really a good boy." "No matter what people around me say, even if the whole world becomes their enemy, I will be their partner." This is what Shayega's mother said in "Spice Girls at the Bottom".

So although Shayega is at the bottom of her grade and has given up on herself, once she knows her goals, she will communicate with her mother, get her support and realize her wishes.