Daxian fortune-telling sketch

Characters: Wang Mingda, Niu Niu's mother, and Captain Li promised.

Scene: A table with a tablecloth, a teapot, some cups and two bottles of yogurt.

Opening: (Wang Ming sings on stage)

Wang Mingda: (Back to parents' music) The left hand is bandaged, the right hand is beautifully dressed, and there is a scar the size of a bowl on his head. How can I see my mother? No, no, no, no. How can I see my mother? (to the audience) You ask me what's going on? Hehe, it's really a big deal. I climbed on the tram and was left behind. I broke my arm and hit my head. These are trivial matters, so I'm afraid my wife will scold me when I go home! Alas, what should I tell my wife when I go back? (pacing back and forth) Oh, I have it, wife, wife, open the door quickly.

Niu Niu's mother: What's the matter? What happened? It's on fire.

Wang Mingda: Worse than fire.

Niu Niu's mother: (At this moment, the door opened, and when I saw Wang's big life, I was shocked and hurriedly asked) What's the matter with you?

Wang Mingda: Hey, forget it! Today, when we were working, there was a big gangue, which was too big to move. Zhao Dapao, nephew of our son Li's uncle's second aunt's seventh aunt, had a bad idea-boom with a gun, and he beat me up while I was not looking.

Niu Niu's mother: Hum! Who cares about the warden's son, his uncle's nephew Zhao cannon? I won't come to your company until tomorrow to get even with him. There is no such thing as shooting! Let your leader take care of him.

Wang Mingda: Forget it, forget it. I'm not badly hurt. I can move my arm back. Besides, who called me Wang Mingda? You see, when I was five years old, I didn't fall from the eighth floor and die. When I was six years old, I fell into the river and didn't drown. My father named me Wang Mingda. I have suffered several industrial injuries. Not yet? Today, I climbed the tram and didn't die.

Niu Niu's mother: What? Climbed on the tram and fell?

Wang Mingda: No, no, no, it was bombed by gangue. Wife, no wonder the fortune teller said that I have seven lives!

Niu Niu's mother: Dogs only have seven lives!

Wang Mingda: Fuck you! You housewives, with long hair and short knowledge, are talking nonsense!

Captain Li: (Dangdang, knocking at the door) Is Xiao Wang at home?

Wang Mingda: (in a hurry) It's broken. The warden's here. Wife, wife, just tell me I'm not at home. (Arch under the table at this moment)

Niu Niu's mother: Why?

Wang Mingda: (Leaning out from under the table) Don't ask, just say I'm not at home!

Niu Niu's mother: OK, OK, OK. (opens the door) Hey, it's warden Li. Wang Mingda said that he was not at home.

Wang Mingda: How can you talk? (Climbing up from under the table and pretending not to see Warden Li) Niu Niu, mom, you didn't believe me when I said I could lift the table. (turns away) Oh! Warden Li, why are you here?

Warden Li: Don't you know why I'm here?

Niu Niu's mother: (slowly) I said, warden Li, what's wrong with you?

Captain Li: Huh?

Niu Niu's mother: (loudly) You, um, um, my parents are like this. Are you responsible?

Captain Li: Right, right.

Niu Niu's mother: How do you publicize and educate? Mine leaders talk about safety every day. Is this happening in your unit?

Wang Mingda: Niu Niu's mother, Niu Niu's mother, pour the tea quickly.

Niu Niu's mother: No tea.

Wang Mingda: (whispering) Didn't you just buy tea yesterday?

Niu Niu's mother: No, no, I said no, just no!

Wang Mingda: (Seeing two bottles of milk on the table, he picked it up and handed it to Captain Li) Oh, oh, let's drink milk.

Captain Li: I'm really thirsty. (holding milk for drinking)

Niu Niu's mother: I'm so old that I haven't been weaned yet.

Captain Li: (I almost choked after drinking some milk)

Wang Mingda: How to talk! Go, go, have tea next door to your sister.

Niu Niu's mother: I'm not going.

Wang Mingda: Go, go (pushing Niu Niu's mother out of the door) Oh, don't be angry, warden Li. My mouth is like that. He loves me dearly!

Warden Li: Look what you are doing!

Wang Mingda: It's all my fault. It's all my fault. It's all caused by climbing the tram.

Warden Li: You just know your mistake now. It is too late. (takes out the notice of "three violations" from his pocket) Here you are. This is a notice of "three violations". Go to the "three violations" class tomorrow. This time I can let you study hard and let you appear on the stage of "three violations"

Wang Mingda: Well, as long as you don't tell my wife, I'll do anything. If my wife finds out, I will have no good life.

Warden Li: I won't tell your wife. What am I doing here? I am heartbroken to you "three violations". You are not afraid of fines and writing letters of guarantee. ...

Wang Mingda: (whispering) I'm afraid my wife will scold me when I go home!

Captain Li: Yes, this is your "dead hole"! Now the mine has come up with a way to "extend the family antenna and build a security line". Aren't you fearless If there are "three violations" in the future, I will hand you over to my family and let them handle it at home. Wang Mingda, Wang Mingda, you are famous for being henpecked. See how you end up today!

Wang Mingda: Oh, Warden, can I beg you?

Captain Li: Now I know I'm scared, it's too late!

Niu Niu's mother: (pushes the door in)

Wang Mingda: I brought the tea back. Pour the warden tea! (talking and making small gestures to the district chief)

Niu Niu's mother: (handing tea to District Chief Li) District Chief Li, what do you think should be done about this matter?

Captain Li: We will definitely deal with it and deal with it strictly.

Niu Niu's mother: Don't feel bad if you handle it too hard!

Captain Li: (wondering) Who is really distressed!

Niu Niu's mother: Of course it's you. Didn't your child's uncle's second aunt's seventh aunt's nephew Zhao cannon blow up our king's life like this? You can't be partial to your child just because he is the nephew of his uncle's second aunt and his seventh aunt. You must confess to us.

Li District Chief: (with an angry look on his face) Zhao's cannon! I don't have a child's uncle at all, so there will be no "nephew Zhao cannon of my second aunt, second aunt and seventh aunt".

Niu Niu's mother: No, who blew it up?

Captain Li: What? He told you that his injury was exaggerated?

Niu Niu's mother: Not hurt? What is that?

Captain Li: Ask him!

Niu Niu's mother: (glaring, turning to Wang Mingda) Wang Mingda!

Wang Mingda: (suddenly standing at attention) Here we are! (Guiltily) I, I, I accidentally fell down while climbing the tram. If it weren't for warden Li, I would have lost my life.

Niu Niu's mother: Alas, you are a deadly king. I think you are an asshole! He took off his apron and wanted to fight. Scared to hide behind the warden Li, Li quickly stopped him. )

Warden Li: No, no, Mom Niu, I came here today mainly to ask you to help educate Xiao Wang. It is dangerous to climb the tram. Don't climb the tram again. At present, the mine is carrying out "100-day safety activities" to realize the "year of safety", and everyone can abide by the rules and discipline, that is, some people operate illegally and take risks, which affects the development of safety work. In order to cooperate with the "three violations" safety education work, the mine decided to let employees' families participate in the safety work, which not only reflected the transformation of our safety management from "institutionalization" to "humanization", but also was more effective. (turning to Xiao Wang) Don't you think so, Xiao Wang?

Wang Mingda: Right, right, right. I promised my wife that I would never break the rules again from now on.

Niu Niu's mother: What should you do this time in front of District Chief Li today?

Wang Mingda: I, I, write a promise.

Captain Li: What else?

Wang Mingda: Enter the "three violations" class, study the rules and regulations seriously, and be strict with yourself. ...

Niu Niu's mother: What else?

Wang Mingda: I will never lie again from now on.

Niu Niu's mother: Besides that?

Wang Mingda: (suddenly enlighted) From now on, "I will do all the housework, buy food and wash clothes, take care of the old and young, and don't let my wife worry!" "

Niu Niu's mother: That's more like it!

Wang Mingda: (turns around and walks)

Niu Niu's mother: Hey, what are you doing?

Wang Mingda: I'm going to buy something to eat, and I'll leave District Chief Li at home for dinner.

Niu Niu's mother: Come back and take a curtain call before you leave!

Three people bow ~ ~ ~ ~ curtain call.