Not all the deaths of old people can be called "weddings, funerals and weddings". How can it be called a "wedding"?

Everything cursed is a happy event, only used between malicious resentment and enemies.

A close neighbor is someone who has suffered too much after a long illness. Death is a happy event, that is, they no longer suffer.

Moreover, the elderly are generally over 60 years old. If they die, they can be classified as weddings and funerals, that is, relatives and friends don't have to be too sad.

At present, the life expectancy of China people is basically 70 years old, and those who exceed it can be mourned.

It's just that some people think that being over 80 or even 90 is a funeral.

Wedding, funeral and marriage originally meant that relatives and friends of the deceased were not sad. The ancients also celebrated each other, and now some areas still keep this ceremony.

This is a practical form of life and death, and euthanasia discussed in recent years belongs to rethinking this concept.

The essence is to pay attention to the formation of quality of life.

Some people are sick and can't die. After a long period of treatment, there is still no improvement. They live too hard, and when they die, they will be free.

However, strong self-activity and less pain mean that when you go home at the age of a few hundred, you will have a treasure in your old age, because you know that your family has a long-lived genetic lineage, which is much higher than those who died at the age of 40.

How old the old man died in this question is a happy funeral, which has different meanings from the above. Specifically, it means not being sad and less sad, but being happy and sad. Therefore, regardless of age, people who have been ill for a long time will come back from the dead and be happy and sad. Specifically, the elderly should be over 80 years old now. Because the average life expectancy is over 70 years.

In rural areas, you can ask a troupe to sing opera. Therefore, it is not surprising to see people in rural areas hold funerals and invite people to sing operas. On the contrary, this way of handling shows that people who have left live longer.

After Wukong asks, let's leave something on it.

I feel that my grandmother's death should be called a funeral, and the villagers think so.

She lived to be 97 years old and was able to take care of herself completely in the first half of the year, but suddenly she couldn't eat anything on 10/day. As soon as we heard about it, we came back from other places. Her old man is still awake, talking to us one by one, but she is extremely weak. At that time, we asked a doctor to give her some infusion bottles, but the medicine couldn't get in. The doctor said that all the blood vessels have shrunk.

Later, I lay with her and chatted, and she sighed: I am old and can't live any longer.

I also asked about my life and so on, and I felt particularly awake.

Later in the morning, my parents were resting with her. My parents said that they felt that the old man's breathing slowly slowed down and stopped.

At that time, while shouting, I quickly took out my old clothes and put them on. At that time, they also shouted: Mom, stretch your legs and get dressed!

Grandma is very cooperative. After wearing it, there is no breath at all.

At that time, everyone in the village said it was a funeral.

All the children in the village came to grandma's coffin to touch it, which means to touch the light of longevity.

There are also some people who come to ask for the steamed bread at grandma's banquet, saying that they will live longer if they take it back to their old people.

I think this is a funeral.

Ended in vain.

I wish grandma a good life in the other world! Although we will eventually go home on the same road, we will eventually be buried in a handful of loess. No matter how many years we live, at the moment of passing away, we will leave our living relatives with endless grief and disappointment, as well as endless thoughts in the years to come.

9 1 year-old farmer's mother has been gone for three years. Although she walked peacefully in my arms when she left, she still couldn't get me out of my thoughts of missing my mother. Up to now, the scene of a funeral at home when my mother left is still clearly in my mind.

The night my mother left was 18 at 8: 00 p.m. on March 25 th of the lunar calendar. My mother left suddenly when I was feeding her, and the meal was not finished. In desperation, the brothers quickly informed the mourners in the village. After doing everything for my old mother, I recovered from my panic and burst into tears. The pain of losing your mother is beyond words. At this time, the neighbors who came to help in the village told me not to cry. My mother's funeral was a "happy funeral", or a "good thing". Such a "happy funeral" is rare. Encouraged by my old neighbors, I stopped crying and thanked those old neighbors who came to see my mother for the last time.

The next day, my old sister-in-law came and told me that we should not cry while waiting for the funeral. The old sister-in-law said that this is my mother's real "old mourning" and a blessing. Not all old people can call it "mourning" when they die. I asked what is a real "funeral"? The old sister-in-law told me that the so-called happiness and funeral that are popular now are both blessing and longevity, which means that, like your mother, both happiness and longevity are dead, and there is no illness, even if it is a happy funeral.

The old sister-in-law went on to say, look at your mother, who is over 90 years old and the oldest in our village. Before she left, one of the eight children born didn't leave before her, all of them lived well, and there were many grandchildren at home. Look at your big family, which is your mother's blessing; Your mother's birthday is very good. How many people can live to be over 90 years old? Besides, your mother is over 90, and she hasn't dragged down the children. When she arrived, it was neither painful nor itchy, and she took a good walk. She disappeared at once. She walked so peacefully and died of illness, without any pain at all. Isn't this joy? This is the real "funeral". You can't cry.

After listening to the explanations of the old sisters-in-law, I have a knowledge of "weddings and funerals". It turns out that if it can be called a "wedding ceremony", the deceased must meet certain standard conditions. In people's minds, this standard condition is defined as age, surviving children, not getting sick or suffering misfortune until the last moment, so that the old man who died is called a real "wedding".

Of course, different places have different ways of understanding weddings, funerals and weddings, but on the whole, most of them are similar. In fact, the so-called "wedding, funeral and marriage" was originally meant to be a kind of rhetoric for people to comfort the relatives of the deceased. The purpose is to make the relatives of the deceased mourn. After all, the dead are gone. Although we will eventually go that way, now life will go on. Although we are reluctant to part with our deceased relatives, grief can't save the cycle of life after all. We can only keep our sadness and thoughts in our hearts and live a good life now, don't you think?

I attended a funeral somewhere in western Hunan. So the funeral can still be done like this!

It's okay for me, there is no such custom in my hometown, otherwise I wouldn't even ask someone to carry the coffin!

Wedding, funeral and marriage is the last pursuit of every local old man, but only a few old people can realize their wishes! 1, must be over 80 years old, and his parents (in-laws) have died for more than 3 years.

Many old people can meet this condition. After all, they are over 80 years old, and if their parents are still there, they will not be over 100 years old.

2, must be four generations under one roof (old man, son, grandson, great-grandson).

Only family men, not if the fourth generation is a great-granddaughter; Married daughters and granddaughters, no matter how many generations they have raised, are not counted.

This condition is very harsh, especially after 80 s and 90 s, there are fewer brothers and sisters and fewer children. If their fathers and brothers are few, it will be difficult for their grandparents to realize their wishes of marriage, funeral and marriage.

You must die at home.

Those who die outside don't count; Sudden death does not count; Those who died of illness are not counted (this has been completely liberalized now, and it is really pitiful to die of natural aging).

There are often only one or two elderly people who can meet these conditions at the same time, a village with a population of over 100 years old, and the proportion is probably less than 5%.

Weddings and funerals are held as happy events, and some etiquette and items are consistent with weddings, which are very different from ordinary white funerals. 1, future generations can take it.

The death of the old man should have been a sad thing, and future generations should shed tears. Many places also have the custom of "mourning"; But weddings and funerals are different, and later generations congratulate the old man on his ascension to heaven. Not only do they not have to cry, but they can also be happy, talking and laughing.

2. Zhang Hongbang

In the local area, two posters are needed for funerals, one is an obituary, and the other is a list of deacons (villagers need help for weddings, funerals and weddings, and the list of deacons is a notice from the supervisor to assign work to everyone).

If it's a white funeral, both lists should be written on white paper. If it's a wedding, both lists should be written in red paper.

Step 3 paste red couplets

Same post, white paper for funeral, red paper for wedding and funeral.

Therefore, when you see a banquet with red couplets and red lists, don't directly think it is a happy event, or someone else's family may die!

In addition to the above three differences, unsuspecting people can often judge whether it is a happy funeral or a white funeral by the number of people carrying coffins.

At the time of burial, the coffin was tied to two large bowls of cedar poles more than ten meters long. Starting with the old man himself, eight people are arranged to carry the coffin in each generation.

So as long as you see that it was carried by 32 people, it means that four generations of old people live under one roof, which is most likely a funeral.

Similarly, if you see 8, 16, 24 people carrying it, it must be a white funeral.

You can make up for it yourself. 32 people divided into two teams, crowded on the ridge less than 1 m wide to carry the coffin. What kind of scene will it be (definitely better than the picture below).

Attend the funeral in winter, there is no water in the field, and many people who carry it step on the ground. I was thinking, if it's summer, why are there so many people on the road? Maybe everyone will step on rice fields.

Fortunately, there is no such custom in my hometown, otherwise I would have to travel almost half the town and invite dozens of people to carry coffins.

Weddings and funerals are not everywhere, only in areas where traditional funeral customs remain intact! I have attended funerals in many places, but it was the only funeral, and this time, I saw the legendary complete funeral.

1, Pima Dai Xiao

This seems nothing unusual, but in this county of Xiangxi, the filial piety of each generation is different, and the locals can know which generation at a glance.

Sons' mourning clothes should be made into pointed hats, put on their heads and tied with hemp rope; The remaining generations put filial piety cloth on their heads and tied it completely with hemp rope so as not to fall off. Filial piety is very long and can exceed the foot root.

2, waist straw rope

Sons should tie a straw rope around their waist, a short stick around their waist, and tie the straw rope tightly.

This means that after the death of parents, the dutiful son does not think about tea and rice. In order to cheer up and take care of the aftermath, he tightened his stomach and eliminated hunger.

3. Hold a crying stick

The funeral stick is about 40 cm long and the thumb is thick, and it is covered with white paper. Before burying the old man, the dutiful son should stick to it.

This is because the dutiful son has to kneel down when he meets an acquaintance. He is too hungry to have the strength. When he knelt down, he needed a stick to stand up, and when he stood up, he had to rely on the support of a stick to stand up.

At the funeral banquet, the dutiful son will kneel at the table with a funeral stick to thank the guests.

Step 4 read the eulogy

On the night before the old man was buried, the master of ceremonies would rap about his life story (mostly about what he suffered and did, and write rhyming poems). The dutiful son has been kneeling in front of the mourning hall, and the guests sit and watch the ceremony. The whole process takes about two or three hours.

The master of ceremonies rap for a short time (a few words), the gunner lights a string of firecrackers (one or two minutes on average), the drummer plays music, and the dutiful son kowtows.

The custom of eulogy has been preserved in many places, but most of the etiquette is not comprehensive. In some places, the dutiful son only kneels symbolically, and spends most of his time sitting, kowtowing and shooting less intensively. When we were still in the room, we were smothered by the smoke of firecrackers.

5. Take a step back and kowtow in three steps.

When buried, the descendants of the old man cleared the way in front, each holding a funeral stick, a village helper standing next to each descendant, and the coffin was placed at the end.

Later generations are staring at the coffin and walking backwards. Every three steps back, you should kneel and kowtow, hold the funeral stick on the ground in your right hand, and the helper will pull the kneeling person up again. You can't get up at once when you pull, you have to pull three times.

When future generations kneel down, the gunner should light a string of firecrackers, and when retreating, the gunner should light a gun (firecrackers with a thick finger are loud and special for funerals).

In retrospect, it was only two or three hundred meters from home to the river (the coffin was transported to the mountain for burial), but it took two minutes to arrive, and my legs kept shaking behind me.

Step 6 burn the well

Burning a well means burning the old man's grave. Its purpose is to burn the snakes, rats and ants in the grave soil so as not to disturb the dead.

Customs vary from place to place, but this procedure is generally available. Some places are burned with paper, while others are fried with firecrackers. At the funeral, I saw three firecrackers thrown into the grave.

7. Judo Training School

Dojo is the standard for the local elderly to be reburied, usually for three or seven days. Nowadays, the wind of comparison prevails. As long as one family in the village has made a Dojo for the elderly, other families will follow suit. As long as one family does it for seven days, other families will do it.

I didn't pay much attention to this ceremony at that time. Anyway, I just arranged sacrifices upstairs, lit incense wax, and three or four people wearing professional clothes knocked there.

In many places, traditional funeral customs are being greatly simplified. Maybe decades ago, it was the same. But now, no longer wearing hemp, no longer tying straw ropes, no longer holding mourning sticks, retrogression and progress. There is no need to kneel and kowtow at the funeral, and the Dojo is no longer done. Filial piety is just a form and can be taken off at any time. The dutiful son can also sit and listen to the eulogy.

Funeral customs can be simplified to this extent, even if there are "weddings and funerals" in these places, they have long been reduced.

In my opinion, these traditional funeral customs are well-founded, rooted and can be preserved.

Although the custom can only be a custom after all, it can't play any practical role, but the more complicated the ceremony, the more memorable it will be.

According to folk tradition, "weddings, funerals and weddings" must meet the following conditions:

1, the deceased was 60 years old and Jiazi was reincarnated;

2. Getting married and having children, in layman's terms, means having offspring;

3. Parents, parents-in-law, mother-in-law or parents-in-law all left before him, all for three weeks, the third anniversary;

4, the good end is to die without illness, haha, this is a condition that modern people can't reach. Modern people can relax a little-in line with the first three points, as long as they don't die in a car fire, it's a good end!

In recent years, during the Spring Festival, everyone will encounter a new way of playing, that is, what are Five Blessingg and Five Blessingg? The simple statement is: longevity is better than Nanshan, congratulations on making a fortune, health and safety, noble character, good beginning and good end. But some people say that the last one is the most difficult, the first Five Blessingg: a happy ending. Good results end well; Because of practice and support, practice fortune. In fact, this is also a kind of funeral that we ordinary people encounter, called: funeral. The conditions for weddings and funerals are vague and there are no specific regulations. It can be said that it will be recognized as a wedding funeral after many considerations.

Weddings and funerals are easy to understand. Holding a funeral with great excitement is far less intense. Some people say it's the same as a wedding. There used to be a saying that when the old man is old, the funeral can be done according to the wedding. But how old is this? With the change of time, each stage is different. In the past, the average life expectancy was relatively short, and it was rare for people to reach 70 years old, and they were old after 70 years old. It's different now, and people's life expectancy has generally been extended. Therefore, it is really too general to celebrate and mourn according to age.

In my opinion, for weddings, funerals and weddings, four conditions are generally met: 1 the elderly and children are alive, 2 the four generations should live under the same roof (above), 3 they should be over 90 years old, and 4 they should die of illness. Only those who meet such conditions can be considered as weddings, funerals and weddings. Despite these conditions, it is difficult to achieve under normal circumstances. Mrs. Lao Li in our village is the oldest in the village. She lived 105 years old, and her sons were killed by the old lady. So it's hard to say whether she can do it when she is old, and it's hard to say whether her children can live that long. So all her children must live, which is the first point. After she can achieve this, we will see if the following conditions are met.

Over 90 years old, the difficulty has begun to increase. 90-year-old, considered to be a long-lived person. He has experienced ups and downs and has a long life. According to the folk saying, this is a blessed man. The third condition is that four generations live under one roof, provided that there are children and grandchildren, so that four generations live under one roof. Now four generations living under one roof is common in rural areas, and it is not particularly difficult. The fourth one is more difficult. Just like Five Blessingg in Five Blessingg, it is called: a good beginning and a good ending, a quiet and untimely ending, without waiting and taking care of others, without causing trouble to children, just like sleeping and never waking up. This condition is actually very difficult to achieve. Therefore, the requirements for weddings and funerals are still quite high.

Now the requirements for funerals have also changed. Under normal circumstances, as long as the elderly are old and their children are built, they will be treated as funerals and funerals. When Mrs. Wang from the neighboring village died, she was almost 1 10, and her son was almost 90. As a dutiful son, it makes sense to walk all the way ahead, but this dutiful son is also a person who is nearly a hundred years old. He can't even walk well, how can he still cry in the original way?

A person's old age and illness are irreversible. I don't know the famous saying that growth is the beginning of death and death is the end of growth. This sentence conforms to the dialectical method. At present, with the development of health care in China, peacetime has replaced wartime. In addition, the development of science and technology has enhanced the national strength to prevent natural disasters, and the living standards of the people in China have been improved. At present, the average life expectancy of China people has increased. The aging in China has reduced the mortality rate. But there are times when things go wrong, and people also have times when things go wrong. Inevitable traffic accidents, etc. The death of every family member is where you will go. But at a certain age, I got a chronic disease and an incurable disease, which not only tortured myself, but also tortured my family. Turn the death of the sick old man into a happy funeral. There is an unwritten purchase rule in rural areas, that is, weddings and funerals. There is scientific basis for our ancestors to call weddings and funerals happy events. In rural areas, the elderly who died of sudden illness were later called "die well and suffer less". This is also not commendable!

The word "mourning" is generally accompanied by sadness. Why is there a saying that "joy begets sorrow"? In fact, it is the family's praise for the perfect life of an old friend.

There should be two conditions, one is longevity. People are dead, and the more they reach the limit, the more natural and perfect they are. Second, let it go. There is a spell that says "Don't die a natural death". You can't call an accident a funeral. A serious illness that does not seriously affect the quality of life is a peaceful death in old age without pain, which can be called a funeral.

It is not the death of an old man that can be called a "happy funeral", but the death of a person is a funeral. There is no doubt that to be happy, you must have some happy conditions. Without certain conditions, it can't be called a happy funeral. In fact, the loss of loved ones, from the perspective of family ethics and people's mentality, is sad and cannot be celebrated. However, people have the method of spiritual victory, always comforting themselves or accepting the comfort of others, so there is a saying that they like the new and hate the old.

In our country, it is customary to think that people under 60 years old are not longevity, those over 60 years old are longevity, which is the first life, 80 years old is middle life, and 100 years old is longevity. To call it a "happy funeral", the first condition is a long life, and the normal age conditions of the first and middle life are unqualified. It is considered to be longevity, and it is generally considered to be after 90 years old. Only those who die of a long life can not be called "happy or sad", but also depends on their family and whether they have the conditions of "happiness" For example, if the old man accumulates virtue and does good deeds, has a good monument, is happy before his death, has a full house of children and grandchildren, is harmonious and happy, has no regrets, doesn't care about others, and doesn't torture others, he will die peacefully, which is called "mourning". Weddings and funerals are not self-talk, but the thoughts of others when certain conditions are met.

People will be born and die, and there will always be death. This is the law of nature, and no one can escape. Death is different, and death is endowed with many different meanings. Sima Qian said earlier that people are inherently mortal, some are heavier than Mount Tai and some are lighter than a feather. After death, you prepare for death. Everyone values life and death, and sometimes they don't care so much. Everyone wants to die well, but it backfires and doesn't die well. People seek a good beginning and a good ending. How many people can really end up happy and sad?

In the past, there were strict standards for whether the elderly in rural areas died. Although this standard accounts for the largest proportion, it is not the only one. There are other standards in it. For example, although my grandparents all left after the age of 100, according to the traditional requirements, they can't be called weddings.

So why can't centenarians have mixed feelings after they leave? What is the standard of wedding, funeral and marriage in traditional culture? Let me explain something to you.

First, one of the standards of funeral Although people used to say that 70 years old is rare, people who are 70 years old cannot be called funerals and funerals. Regarding the age of weddings and funerals, Cao Cao once mentioned in wine songs that how old an old man died before he could be called a wedding and funeral.

An octogenarian refers to an elderly person over 80 years old. The general meaning of this sentence is that if an octogenarian (80 years old) comes to an end because of his life (not because of external reasons such as disease, poverty, hunger, cold and freezing, but because of natural death), in this case, even those plants, insects and fish will benefit from the old man.

Second, the funeral standards, two or four generations under one roof, the ancients said that there are three kinds of unfilial, none of which is great. In the old countryside, everyone got married earlier. If they are 80 years old, under normal circumstances, five generations should live under one roof, and the worst thing is that four generations should live under one roof. In the past, what the old people liked best was that their children and grandchildren were full and their families were big, so that they would be happy.

But if an 80-year-old man doesn't have four generations under one roof.

Think about it. Grandpa is 80 years old and his parents are 60 years old. He should be over 30, but people of this age have no children yet. That probably means that this generation is still single. His grandson is over 30 years old, not married, and has not given birth to a child. Naturally, the old man can't go with a clear conscience. It's not a funeral.

Third, the third standard of funeral Before the descendants were alive, there was a saying that there were three major sorrows in rural life. Among them, an old man lost his family, that is, a white-haired man sent a black-haired man. For parents, this is the most unfortunate thing in life. Parents don't mean that children should be promising, as long as they are healthy and safe.

For parents, whether they lose their children in middle age or in old age, their hearts must be bitter, and this kind of grief will accompany them all their lives. With this sad mood, the old man must have left with regret. How can we talk about happiness when we die with regret?

Summary: Basically, the standard of funeral is to meet these three points, and the first point mentioned is that there is no disease and no disaster, and natural death. In this way, it is the four standards.

In the past, weddings, funerals and weddings were all based on the above four standards, and too few people can meet these four standards at the same time. So some people will lower this standard. As long as they meet two of them, the families of the elderly will regard the funeral as a happy event. For example, after my grandmother 100 left, she couldn't meet the standards for weddings, funerals and weddings. This is the third point, but later we did it for the following reasons:

1. My father has seven brothers and sisters. When he was in his 60s, Bo Er went to work in the fields a few days ago, but suddenly he left. My uncle died of illness in his forties.

Part of the reason why my grandmother died was that she accidentally fell. She was afraid of falling when she was old, and then she couldn't walk. She stayed in bed and left after half a year. During the time she was lying in bed, she repeatedly mentioned my two dead uncles. My grandmother misses them.

Although my grandmother left with regret, after discussion, our cousins agreed that my grandmother was 100 years old. Moreover, it has been more than 50 years since his third uncle died, and his second uncle left without illness or disaster.

My grandmother's funeral should still be handled according to the funeral, and other relatives in the family also asked us to handle it according to the centenarian. They say that there are not many centenarians anywhere, which is not based on weddings and funerals.

To sum up, the death of the elderly in rural areas, can be handled according to four standards, in order to call a wedding funeral. However, in reality, some families will lower this standard. Usually, old people over 60 will follow the funeral as long as they leave without illness or disaster.