Ask for a line from Zhao Benshan and Song Xiaobao's sketch "Blind Date".

Complete lines of Zhao Benshan's Blind Date in Liaoning Spring Festival Evening 20 1 1 and explanation in Northeast dialect.

Author: Yin Qi

Director: Zhao Benshan

Performances: Zhao Benshan, Song Xiaobao, Zhao Haiyan.

Finishing: Dongli qq83490494

(Scene: Two rooms. The old man is sleeping in the outhouse (living room), and Haiyan is going to wake him up ...)

Zhao Haiyan: Han, Han? Old man, get up!

Zhao Benshan: (lifts the quilt) Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: Get up! Don't sleep here!

Zhao Benshan: How?

Zhao Haiyan: Get up! ! !

Zhao Benshan: (Uncover the quilt and lie down) Where did the sun come out today? Divorced for more than a year. Talk to me for the first time!

Zhao Haiyan: Get up and don't sleep here!

Zhao Benshan: (gets up) How can I sleep without this? Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: Go for a walk!

Zhao Benshan: For what?

Zhao Haiyan: It's a beautiful day. Let's go for a walk.

Zhao Benshan: Are you busy? (Say "things" seriously)

Zhao Haiyan: (Sorry) Well ... I want to make friends with my family.

Zhao Benshan: Huh? (surprised)

Zhao Haiyan: I want to meet a friend at our house! (key)

Zhao Benshan: Friends? What friend?

Zhao Haiyan: (shyly) Look at my wife.

Zhao Benshan: (takes a deep breath) Are you with your wife?

Zhao Haiyan: Hmm!

Zhao Benshan: What do you do?

Zhao Haiyan: (in disgust) What ... has anything to do with you?

Zhao Benshan: That's all right. It doesn't matter. If you find one, you must be better than me. Why not look for it for nothing? I'll check it for you.

Zhao Haiyan: (sarcastically) Gee ... people live in a house of 1000 square meters and care about 2,000 people ... (shaking his head) Not as good as you!

Zhao Benshan: Great. That's the boss! When did you come the day before yesterday?

Zhao Haiyan: Almost there. Don't stop chatting here. Let's go!

Zhao Benshan: (nervously, leaving) Shall I go out first?

Zhao Haiyan: You go out first.

Zhao Benshan: (stands up and finds a place) OK, where shall I hide for the time being?

Zhao Haiyan: You ... Get out!

Zhao Benshan: It's agreed (to become famous in advance): If it's agreed, we can go out and get married, and everything will be fine, okay?

Zhao Haiyan: You can have whatever you want. Oh, it's true. Since I can dance yangko, look at my popularity: (packing gifts) the person who offered to send food, medicine and me this warm water bag to our family. How carefully you take care of me! This meal was also delivered today. (For Lao Han) Take it (take it) and go outside (noodles, this is) to reward you. Eat out, go!

Zhao Benshan: (taking over) Where can I eat?

Zhao Haiyan: Eat over there!

Zhao Benshan: Which is the door?

Zhao Haiyan: That's the door over there. You lied to you. Have you slept?

(Song Xiaobao is standing outside the door with a red rose in his hand)

Song Xiaobao: Haiyan ~? Are you at home? Open the door, Haiyan!

Zhao Haiyan: (nervous) It's your fault. I am too slow to let you out. You won't go out if you say that! Here comes (someone else) and (you and him) bump into each other. Say something? !

Zhao Benshan: Are you coming?

Zhao Haiyan: Isn't it? Say something?

Zhao Benshan: What should I do?

Zhao Haiyan: If you stay here, you can't get out.

Zhao Benshan: Then I'll go out?

Zhao Haiyan: What do you mean when you go out?

Zhao Benshan: Get out. I said I just finished. Why don't you talk?

Zhao Haiyan: Why should we talk one after another?

Zhao Benshan: That doesn't make you angry! You're at a loss! Talking about left and right shows that you are worth a lot! Is it okay? I'm out. ...

Zhao Haiyan: (Stop it quickly) Stop it! You can't leave here. I can't talk if I bump into you when I go out. No, you can go out the window.

Zhao Benshan: I left the window. I left completely! This is the sixth floor!

Zhao Haiyan: Then you can sit here. You sit here! Don't say anything. What am I talking about, huh?

Zhao Benshan: OK.

(Bao Xiao can't wait)

Song Xiaobao: Haiyan? Open the door!

Zhao Haiyan: Alas! (Open the door)

Song Xiaobao: (meeting, laughing heartily) Ouch, hehe ... er ... Haiyan! ……

(sending flowers)

Zhao Haiyan: (seeing the rose) What are you talking about at your age?

Song Xiaobao: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe, uh ~

(I sat down and found Zhao Benshan sitting on it, dumbfounded at once ...)

Song Xiaobao: (patting his chest in shock) Oh, my God! This really scared me to death. Why is there anyone here? ! ……

Zhao Haiyan: (sorry) (pointing to Zhao Benshan) My cousin.

Song Xiaobao: (looking at Zhao Benshan and Zhao Haiyan) Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: Cousin.

Song Xiaobao: (from surprise to joy) Cousin ~ ~! (complaining about Haiyan) God, why didn't you inform me in advance when my cousin was here ~ ~! No gifts, empty hands. (shaking hands) Hello, cousin, I didn't bring a gift. ...

Zhao Benshan: I brought-chocolate sandwich cookies (Bao Xiao's hands are dark brown, like chocolate, because they are baked. Benshan's hand is white, and he is sandwiched between Bao Xiao's two hands.

Song Xiaobao: Cousin is so humorous, er hahaha ... er ~

Zhao Haiyan: Oh, sit, sit.

(Under Bao Xiao's seat, he looks at Zhao Benshan and smiles. )

Song Xiaobao: (pointing to the quilt and asking Haiyan) What's wrong with this quilt?

Zhao Haiyan: My cousin lives here.

Song Xiaobao: How many years have you lived?

Zhao Benshan: I have lived in the back room for twenty years and here for one year.

Zhao Haiyan: Well ... my cousin is paralyzed. I have been waiting for him.

Song Xiaobao: (sympathetically) Paralyzed. Ha, alas, suffering!

Zhao Haiyan: (referring to Benshan) Well, why don't we boil some water when we have guests?

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: Home is here. Do you want to boil water?

Zhao Benshan: I'm not paralyzed!

Zhao Haiyan: Aha, I forgot. I'm going to boil water You two are chattering, (whispering to Bao Xiao) (he is) sequela, what are you talking about? Don't take it personally, huh?

Song Xiaobao: All right, you go, you go.

Zhao Haiyan: (without looking at Zhao Benshan) Don't talk nonsense!

(They look at each other)

Song Xiaobao: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ... Uh ~

Zhao Benshan: Are you local?

Song Xiaobao: Local.

Zhao Benshan: He is over 60 years old?

Song Xiaobao: 54, a chicken.

Zhao Benshan: Hehe, 54? There is a lot to worry about.

Song Xiaobao: Hahahaha ... Cousin is so humorous.

Zhao Benshan: Your two fates don't match: she is a monkey, 55, and you are a chicken. I don't think you two can do it.

Song Xiaobao: I didn't say that ~ ~ ~ Then I went ~ ~ Now I look at the stars ~ ~. I ~ Gemini ~ she ~ Aries ~, and the constellation is also very close to ~ ~ ~. Brother, what sign are you in?

Zhao Benshan: I'm on the sofa. I am paralyzed. I can't go anywhere!

Song Xiaobao: Aha, let me ask you the constellation? !

Zhao Benshan: I have to sit here whether you are happy or not. Paralysis!

Song Xiaobao: (Helpless) Cousin, I don't understand this.

(Haiyan carries water)

Zhao Haiyan: Here, have some water.

(Zhao Benshan grabs)

Zhao Haiyan: (embarrassed) It's for guests, you. ...

Zhao Benshan: Ah, let me see if you have made it. (Take a sip and spit out the tea) Tea leaves are not brewed. Drink them! (To Bao Xiao)

Song Xiaobao: (embarrassed, embarrassed, speechless) ...

Zhao Haiyan: This is water for the guests. What did you say you were in a hurry to drink? Why don't you go to that room for a while? (referring to the back room)

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Zhao Haiyan: How about going to that room?

Zhao Benshan: I'm paralyzed. Why do you always forget? ..... again?

Zhao Haiyan: Well, here you are. Let's go to that room.

Haiyan went through the small door, and Bao Xiao entered the room directly through the wall. We are in the back room. Sitting alone. Two people affectionately ...)

Song Xiaobao: Ho, ho, ho. Oh, it is not easy. It is not easy to wait for such a paralyzed cousin for more than 20 years. ...

Zhao Haiyan: Well, everyone does.

Song Xiaobao: Let's say that. Who, who stepped on who is enough.

Zhao Haiyan: OK, let me ask you something. (Mystery) Actually, I can see it all. ...

Song Xiaobao: (hitting Haiyan) Don't ask me, I'm a man ~ ~! You said you guys, whoever catches you will ask (who meets me) who caught you. These little old ladies kept me in the dark all day (making me dizzy). Ask me so many questions that I don't know what's going on (I don't even know what's going on myself). Day by day (northeast mantra). Now I don't know whether to squat in the toilet or stand in the toilet. (Laughing and dancing) Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. ...

(Zhao Benshan stands up and looks at Bao Xiao from the door)

Song Xiaobao: (Seeing Zhao Benshan actually stand up, scared to one side) Uh ~!

Zhao Haiyan: No, why did you stand up?

Zhao Benshan: What happened? I said you should be careful who you talk to, don't talk about your life, pay attention!

Zhao Haiyan: Hurry back to your room.

Zhao Benshan: You talk, I will continue to be paralyzed.

Song Xiaobao: (doubtfully) What happened?

Zhao Haiyan: Sequela, it seems that my mind is abnormal.

Song Xiaobao: Ah, hahaha.

Zhao Haiyan: (to the point) So where do you want to go? I know you are a man. ...

Song Xiaobao: Look at the color you lost ... (Look at your loss)

Zhao Haiyan: I, what I want to ask you is ... since I played yangko, you said that at my door, you gave me food, medicine and a thermos, knowing that I was so cold. You said how careful you are, oh ~ so considerate to take care of me, there is no one but you, a careful person. ...

Song Xiaobao: (Sorry) Love is always selfless. Haiyan ... Haiyan ~ ~ Since you have no other opinion of me, we are all so old, let's not talk about those useless things. Well, tomorrow, I'll move in and we'll live together ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: (Come here at once when I hear this) Why?

Zhao Haiyan: Why are you here again?

Zhao Benshan: I wonder why you moved here.

Song Xiaobao: I'm moving here. How nice, small family.

Zhao Benshan: Don't you have a house there? Where will my cousin go?

Song Xiaobao: You, move out?

Zhao Benshan: I move out? You want me to live in bridge opening? We agreed, don't you have a house of more than 1000 square meters?

Song Xiaobao: My 1000 yuan is too spacious ~ ~ too big ~ ~ I want to push things back and forth by car ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Song Xiaobao: My house is full of dust, too.

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Song Xiaobao: Well, at our age, cleaning up is too difficult.

Zhao Benshan: Yes!

Song Xiaobao: Cousin, if you don't mind, why don't the three of us live together?

Zhao Haiyan: Do the three of us live together?

Song Xiaobao: Yes.

Zhao Benshan: That won't do!

Song Xiaobao: Besides my cousin, I have served more than two thousand people. Haiyan and I will wait for you when I get here. Cousin, I'm waiting for someone. That's great-(taking pictures of Zhao Benshan). Ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ~ ha ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: (looking at Bao Xiaoxiao) What are you doing? I'll keep you waiting all day. You can ask me to go.

Zhao Haiyan: This conversation is over. He didn't say anything about moving here or kicking you out. What are you doing here?

Zhao Benshan: Let's get to the point. Tell the truth and tell everyone about yourself.

Song Xiaobao: So, so you got married?

Zhao Haiyan: Well, that was more than 20 years ago.

Song Xiaobao: Do you have children?

Zhao Haiyan: No.

Song Xiaobao: I haven't had children for more than 20 years. Why?

Zhao Haiyan: Old people can't.

Zhao Benshan: What happened to the old man?

Zhao Haiyan: Why don't you want me to say the old man can't? No, the old man is sick!

Zhao Benshan: What happened to the old man?

Zhao Haiyan: No!

Zhao Benshan: Don't be such a mess. If you are dating someone, say your business is over. Why don't old people regenerate?

Zhao Haiyan: The old man is dead!

Zhao Benshan: The old man died? When did you die a few days ago?

Zhao Haiyan: Not dead, but living in our hearts forever.

Zhao Benshan: Isn't that dead? Why are you like this?

Zhao Haiyan: Why don't you just ruin my date?

Zhao Benshan: That was you, wasn't it? I didn't say I wouldn't let you talk about someone. Don't bury your old man, he's fine. Besides, what do you mean by not having children? Where did you buy it? You have children, children have children. You are real, you two are finished. When you are finished, just put down a pile and live a good life!

Zhao Haiyan: That's what I want to tell him. My hands are too light. I don't have any burden, so I don't have any troubles!

Zhao Benshan: You have no worries. Don't worry about others, right?

Zhao Haiyan: What do you mean, I told him everything?

Zhao Benshan: Just tell people what happened to you and what happened.

Zhao Haiyan: I'm divorced.

Zhao Benshan: Why did you leave?

Zhao Haiyan: Incompatible personality.

Zhao Benshan: What is the hug for (because of)?

Zhao Haiyan: There are too many questions.

Zhao Benshan: What's the matter?

Zhao Haiyan: Just snore.

Zhao Benshan: (Greeting Bao Xiao) Snoring. ...

Song Xiaobao: Not a disease!

Zhao Benshan: Do you snore?

Song Xiaobao: Me too.

Zhao Benshan: I don't think you should make any noise in this situation.

Song Xiaobao: Uh ~

Zhao Haiyan: How loud is your snoring? Look at his snoring, that guy is screaming, scaring you to death! As soon as you fall asleep, you wake up, kick it, stop sleeping, stare at you and let it sleep, like a wake. Scary? Did you say you were terrible?

Zhao Benshan: You can't sleep if you snore here. People will wait for you to sleep here. After you fall asleep, people won't sleep until dawn. Don't you want to think about you?

Zhao Haiyan: What's wrong with me?

Zhao Benshan: You haven't behaved well since this yangko. This guy paints like a leprechaun all day. The first time Yangko came back, that guy's face was painted like a blue eye. Put it at the gate, ring the doorbell with a clash, and don't come in. I looked at the door-I thought my mother was back, and then I burned the paper and kowtowed ... This morning, this man didn't come into the house. Later, I fell asleep at the door, and when I entered the room, it was stipulated that it was that, and no one should be in charge in the future. You are not allowed to enter my door. I just need to go back into the back room and charge me 5 yuan for crossing the bridge. Later, I put this pile of quilts for her, put her to sleep in this room, and put a note on my forehead saying that it was illegal and fined one hundred.

Song Xiaobao: No less punishment ~

Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, I'm the only one. If you want to live a good life with others, tell them frankly what's wrong with you. I bless you, don't I? Just this old man, to tell the truth, this man is quite nice. People give you send warm's baby and this and that. Is it okay for ordinary people? You sent the person who told the truth at a glance, right?

Song Xiaobao: Is it from me?

Zhao Benshan: Are they your people?

Song Xiaobao: Is it from me?

Zhao Benshan: Are they your people?

Song Xiaobao: Yes, it's not from me!

Zhao Haiyan: (anxiously) Did you send it or not?

Song Xiaobao: It's just-it's not from me. How many times have I told you?

Zhao Benshan: Do you understand?

Zhao Haiyan: I don't understand. Who sent it?

Song Xiaobao: Is it from me?

Zhao Haiyan: Then throw it away! You didn't send it. Who sent it?

Zhao Benshan: Who sent it to you? Who knows you better than me these years? I cook dinner for you every day. I dare not bring it to you for fear that you won't eat it. When you're finished, leave it outside the door. I said someone brought you food, this family used to cook, and your hawthorn. ...

Zhao Haiyan: (Interrupting) No, it's not. I've been eating that meal all my life. I don't know yet? This meal is delicious!

Zhao Benshan: Yes. So it just doesn't smell good? Bring it back after dinner. This guy tastes terrible. tell me ...

Zhao Haiyan: No, what did you do? Why are you still talking about this? Just say it!

Zhao Benshan: What did I say? Say you eat? Don't tell me I told you to drug you! Who knows you like me? In addition, you should also pay attention to her bad legs, old cold legs and backache. I gave her a warm treasure. In the future, you two have a good life. As long as this room is vacated for me, you can live in his 1000 square meters ...

Song Xiaobao: Oh, (suddenly enlighted) so you are her father?

Zhao Benshan: Did you see that? A fool can see that!

Song Xiaobao: Hmm! (Nodding) I didn't understand until I heard this. Well, such a big brother, Haiyan, you can grow up ~ ~! This is the person who loves you the most, this is the person who loves you the most ~ ~! Stop fooling around! You take me home. How dare you! I want to tell you that you can't point to my house 1000.

Zhao Haiyan: (surprised) Why?

Song Xiaobao: That's my boiler room ~ ~

Zhao Haiyan: Then why did you say that you are in charge of more than 2,000 people?

Song Xiaobao: Heating!

Zhao Haiyan: Do you burn boilers?

Song Xiaobao: Hmm!

Zhao Benshan: You see? Isn't this the right color? Baked!

Song Xiaobao: I see. Burn a small boiler. It's so big, shake, shake, shake, when ...! Popcorn, hehe ... Then the boiler burned down. It turns out that my color is not that dark. What happened? At that time, the boiler was short of coal and the furnace was short of coal. I'm in a hurry to push coal into the stove. I pushed a small car of coal and ran fast, but I didn't stop at the door of the stove. Even I took my car and shot it into the stove. This is what my legs and feet climbed out of and was baked like this. You said, you said it was funny or not, hahahahahahahahahaha, uh ~

Zhao Benshan: OK, then you can have a good life with him. I wish you well, OK?

Song Xiaobao: Here you are, Big Brother. You have something else. Don't bless me, I can't compete with you ~

Zhao Benshan: This guy is very nice.

Song Xiaobao: (referring to Zhao Benshan) He is a good man. I can't compare with my big brother. Haiyan, you can grow up. It is not easy to find such a person. What are you talking about at this age? I said you, did you hear me? You're not stupid, you're not stupid, how stupid, how stupid! (talking and shooting Haiyan)

Song Xiaobao: Well, big brother, I won't stay here for long. I can't stay in this house any longer. It is time. I want to dance yangko. Haiyan, this is your warmest and safest nest. (Shooting Haiyan) Remember! Shame on you. look at you ...

(Bao Xiao jumps out of the window on the sixth floor)

Zhao Benshan: Go and dance the yangko. He did it.

Zhao Haiyan: No.

Zhao Benshan: No, I will.

Zhao Haiyan: What are you going to do?

Zhao Benshan: I'm paralyzed if I don't complete it. Go practice your eyes.

Zhao Haiyan: Then you can do yangko to exercise! Dead old man, move this house this time!

Zhao Benshan: OK.

Zhao Haiyan: I'll go with you.

Zhao Benshan: OK.

(Go out together ...)

(End)