Reflections on Jiang Yang's Thief Prose

Speaking of our Chen family, because of the shadow of grandfather Chen Gongzong Xu, we have a scholarly family and a loyal family from generation to generation. There is not much property in the family, but the tutor is extremely rich.

In our family tree "Yongchun Hall", not only the number of descendants is recorded, but also the accountant is very loyal, and the income and expenditure of each brother's conduct are clearly written one by one every year.

I grew up in such a family. It stands to reason that everyone should fight for it, and every family should buy a child bride. Actually, it is not. In the words of the Bible, this is-my parents are vines, but I am not a branch. In my own words, that is-the fortune teller is a gossip, and when he counts his nails-I am a black sheep, so I lost my fortune.

Since I was born, I have kept a big secret firmly in my heart. After learning to speak, I kept my mouth shut. Even my own biological parents gave them a denial, without revealing a word.

What am I hiding that makes me so mysterious? I'm only telling you now, so don't tell Tom, Dick and Harry. Even if you can't live in poverty and sell my information, you can't sell it to a small person like me with only 30 cents.

In addition, since I was born, I have understood my personal truth. Although on the surface, I am not ugly, and I am not different from ordinary people, but in fact I am not thorough.

"I-I-I'm fake." I am not only fake, but also empty inside. Not only is it empty, but I'm empty and don't even have a mural. I'm heartless, heartless and spineless. I am a real big hole.

For another example, I am just like those terrible aliens. They sat on a flying saucer and landed quietly on the earth, muddling along among these happy people and living a happy life. If you don't have magic eye, you can't see them or catch them.

I am one of them.

I don't like being an empty man, because my heart is empty and I can't stand. When the wind blows, someone accidentally touches me, or a twig scratches me, so I can't help falling to the ground and can't get up.

From childhood to fourteen, I always fell and fell, and my nose was swollen. People always laugh at me when they see it. I have nothing else. My lacrimal gland and temper are very competitive, but when I fell, they all came to support me.

/kloc-I have been thinking about this problem for 0/4 years. At this rate, I will probably die before I am 20. If I don't want to die early, I have to find another way to save my life.

What should I do? After thinking about it, I can only learn from those shameless Japanese neighbors-being thieves.

The world is so big and crowded, and some ready-made things are for others to use. I will touch them from the east, steal some from the west and fill them in my hole. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

I made up my mind, so I took an X-ray first.

The doctor looked at it and said, "It's a vacuum. It is respectable to live for fourteen years. "

I brushed the empty film, fled home and stuffed it under the bed for filing.

Take another picture in 20 years to see if you can become a real hero.

Because there is no heart and courage, so the will has been very weak. I wanted to be a thief and was inspired by the Japanese, but I didn't really do it and let myself live aimlessly for several years.

One year, our neighbors recommended our family as a model family in Zhongshan District. Naturally, people in the district office have known my parents for a long time, but they are very careful and bring books to ask questions at home.

After asking questions, we are all role models and will pass the exam soon. It's a pity that I passed the living room and was seen by the gentleman. He asked my mother curiously, "Hey, today is not Sunday. Why doesn't your daughter go to school? "

My mother was very protective and said, "My daughter is in poor health and has dropped out of school at home." He asked again, "What's the matter with you? Look fat? "

Mother said, "I was born with organ honeycomb disease." At present, there is no cure, which is a headache. "

At a model family nomination meeting, my whole family was eliminated because of this strange disease. This gentleman said that a person with an incurable disease can't set an example for others.

That night I lay quietly in the dark, tears streaming out of my eyes. I decided to be a thief, and I laid a good foundation in that mood.

Speaking of thieves in the world, 100% is greedy, snobbish and disowned by six parents. Although I didn't learn from my teacher and made my debut silently, I didn't need to be taught this truth, but I also made it clear.

I looked around, my eyes stayed on a table and a chair at home, and finally stayed on my biological parents. If I want to practice being a thief, I'll take them away first. If I get caught, it will be easy, and I won't really hand them over to the police.

I carefully observed two hypothetical victims. They are honest and conscientious, industrious and cautious to themselves, generous and kind to others, conscientious and responsible in their work, devoted to their children, don't talk about the length of people, don't brag, don't feel inferior, don't feel sorry for themselves, don't owe debts, and always pay more-I have never calculated my parents well. Looking closely today, these two can handle things in addition to their appearance and demeanor. Outdated scum! What others don't want, they use it as a pearl baby! Plus, I met a "sister count" a few decades ago, and these two people became more and more stupid. Even if I am an invisible man, I can't steal them secretly. Even in the internship stage, these two fools are not worth a try. Don't steal, don't steal.

Going out for a walk, the hollow man was hungry for fourteen years, top-heavy and unstable. When you are tired, climb home by touching the wall and stop thinking about it. While my parents were taking a nap, I took their unpalatable food and stuffed it down. I don't care if they can't digest it. Before making a plan, I filled this big hole like a honeycomb. Steal your parents, quietly, before the case is sent, look at your sister, eat her and be the next victim.

This girl is two or three years old, gentle and honest, patient in learning and polite to people. It's not cold to go to school by bike in winter. She didn't turn her stomach when she lived in high school. She has two thin fingers and can't paint nail polish, but she never gets tired of playing the piano and violin. I turned her over and over again, and she was a fool again.

I invited you to learn music just to make a lot of money as a singer. How can you go to the classics? Your nose is not raised, and your hair is not dyed yellow. It's not fashionable or popular. On second thought, I don't like stealing. For my own sake, I will eat some of you, but I don't want to.

Since the case was opened at home, we have to be fair and share it with everyone, so as not to look bad in the future. I would never dare to steal my big brother. He is a spotted tiger and a cheapskate. He always bites people's feet when he loses his temper. Will it be all right if I steal him? You're lucky you didn't kill him first.

One day, the tiger came back, limping, and his long pants covered his feet. I didn't see anything wrong. When the tiger finished eating, he was afraid of the heat and took off his pants to watch TV. This is a great hope, the hollow man screamed and attracted the whole family to watch the tiger.

This spotted tiger, from claws to knees, was turned over, and Song Wu was sewed with a row of ropes.

The hollow man squatted down and counted the neat needle and thread on Tiger Claw. The tiger roared, "Look at a ghost! I broke my skin. Do you think I'm a monster? "

The hollow man had a brainwave, and with a bang, the tiger's guts were stolen, and the stupid beast didn't know it. The hollow man turned his back on the coward and laughed.

Besides, the tiger is also a cheapskate and a cheapskate. You throw it and I pick it up.

The hollow thief has a runny nose and asks the tiger for toilet paper. He always gives half a dollar. The thief turned on the headlights in the middle of the night to steal Yan Ruyu. He sent a small wax torch in to do the crime. Brother-in-law invited me to eat unified steak. The hungry tiger actually said, "I don't eat steak, I eat money." It is most affordable for you to feed me cash. "

You said this Chen Jiahu, cheapskate, is true! He is a liar again.

Ask the professional beggar in Yongkang Street, is it true that Tiger Claw, with a big face, has been giving him 5 100 pieces of beef noodles for many years? This baby is really stupid and fake. It's a paper tiger.

The thief stole his little kindness, frugality, not much higher. Lose a lot of money.

Brother, a hero, is worth stealing.

I don't want to steal my son from prison. The "conscience black tea" in the middle school attached to this Normal University, if you are thirsty, you will drink too much, and nothing else will happen. Some good things in his stomach were thrown away by this black tea.

Look at my brother, "ranking" is the last, and the hero is the skill of civil and military.

He has integrity, character, temperament, knowledge, handsome appearance and stuffy heart. Not to mention, table tennis, billiards and bridge beat the enemy out of the water and watched the hollow girl cry excitedly.

The hollow thief waited for this brother to grow up slowly and stole a dark place for him.

This younger brother, his father spent a lot of money to ask him to follow in his father's footsteps, hoping that he would spit out "conscience tea" and let this kind of boasting, flattery, snobbery, poaching, flattery and fraud that I didn't catch up with in those years prevail, study hard, show my talents and honor my ancestors.

Unfortunately, my brother's careless friends led him astray.

Laroche, he doesn't repair it; Climb the dragon, he doesn't practice; I have finished my studies, but I haven't achieved anything yet, alas.

This is stupid. How silly!

Look at this, Mao Mao. There is nothing to steal. Let's go out and handle the case!

Thieves are stupid and loyal, and they can't learn anything from high to high. Stop. Stop.

Out of the house, the master of the lone ranger turned around, and the western family mixed up, and the six relatives denied it, and the friends were in charge. Only then did I know that the world outside my home was so big, so many things were stolen, and the thief was elated and busy.

"Baiyun Hall" stole the mountain for her, and Master Shao gave her a garden with flowers, birds, insects and fish. Music Collection seldom goes to the market, but thieves also eat a big bag of bean sprouts. "Taipei people" went to America and stole his modern literature. I wished Old Master Q a nap. The English poem jingled in the bag and ran away. Mr. Cai of the Observatory didn't pay attention, and Xingyue stole the thief's way. When the "painting party in May" and "no painting party in July", the "painting party" will proceed with dots and squares. Fang Xinzheng, a poet, slept in the strong wind and stole the willow tree to find Linda last summer. Whitman's hair grew grass on his grave, and a teenager who couldn't whistle gently cut it off for him. Homer is blind in singing, so don't tell anyone who stole the window of his soul. Aesop was a slave, and I ate his flesh, not a toad. Shalinjie scratched in the wheat field, but she couldn't catch my baby. Hemingway, if you don't kill him now, he will kill himself in the future.

Picasso's circus troupe, Gauguin's black girl, Cezanne's apple and Van Gogh's sunflower were all eaten by thieves after breakfast on the grass-Dali's soft watch was stolen more accurately. "Brothers of Kelamayi Wang" were all stolen to sleep. The Hunter's Diary is another chapter in stealing children. Only crime and punishment, have a guilty conscience, refused to touch.

You ask, you thief, a scholar who specializes in stealing, are all poor and sour things. What do you want it for?

Otherwise, otherwise, don't underestimate the thief. These grains are only used for stuffing, and the real good things are yet to come.

After a few years, the thief accumulated a mountain of cases and became the Red Flower Hero. One day, I stole a plane ticket from China, bid farewell to my parents and brothers, and traveled across the ocean to run for my life in this colorful world.

"Oh my God! Jiang Yang thief is coming! "

Shout loud, thief hey hey sneer at.

Unfortunately, one day, the thief passed by the United States, where there was a bumper harvest of corn and the thief had a good time. Suddenly, a fellow traveler appeared in the corn field. When he met a fellow traveler for the first time, he hurriedly sent a handful of rice flowers by hand. Fellow travelers laughed:

"Stealing food is not a hero! Pig also! "

"Don't steal to eat, steal? I am a hollow thief. I have to eat it all. "

"You have come to the United States through hardships. Why don't you steal a doctor from it? " What's the use of "Dr? Is it salty or sweet? "

"No, doctors are not food."

"Don't eat, not my way, don't steal."

The thief looked at his companion coldly, pale and hungry, but he was carrying a great burden.

"Is it a doctor? Why not eat? " "You this pig only know stealing food. I really don't know the benefits of doctors? "

"I don't know, please give me more advice."

"The stolen doctor is bitter, it is good to get it-at the very least, you can also change it into a' compensation' wife as beautiful as flowers and pure as jade. Go get it! " The thief looked around and whispered to his companion, "I am a hollow thief." I don't eat anything, and my wife doesn't change course. Thank you for your guidance. See you tomorrow! "

Say goodbye to the cornfield and fly to Yunyue for three thousand miles.

Huang Liang, a family member in Taipei, dreamed of stealing children, but he committed a big crime.

She stole Don Quixote from Spain, Mona Lisa's smile from France, square bread from Germany, umbrellas and shelves from Britain, sunscreen oil from white people, scalp from red people, toothpaste from black people-everyone stole it.

Watch out for the Jiang Yang thief, Red Flower Man-look at this thief named pig. He eats fat and has difficulty in moving. I think he can wait 20 years to take pictures and see if he is a real hero.

Otherwise, otherwise, the thief knows that the hollow man, the most important good thing, can't wash his hands before he eats it. One day, the thief ran around in the crowd, working hard, and just saw such a hero walking in front of him, and finally met him.

The thief safflower lone ranger, with a bright eye, caught the man in the dim light and dragged him to the corner to swallow him alive. This filled my stomach and made me cry with excitement.

After 20 years of hard work, this has become the positive result today, Amitabha.

Look at what the Great Sage who became a fruit ate-"shameless, hypocritical, selfish, greedy, cowardly, superficial, heartless, heartless." I was so happy that I called a taxi and went straight to the hospital. I hung up an emergency number. Please take an X-ray to see what kind of person this is.

The hollow man has the face to see the light of day.

The doctor watched the film and repeatedly called "no,no."

The hollow man turned pale and asked softly, "What's the matter?"

"Whatever, that is, what you just ate is rotten to your five senses and six stinks. Come on, come on, nurse, prepare the operating room and save a life. " The thief shouted, "What you just ate is good, don't take it out!" " Will not be free, don't sign, don't operate-"

The thief screamed and begged, and he was unconscious with a gold acupuncture on his head.

In order to find the treasure that had just been eaten, the thief was stripped by the doctor for several years, and after waking up, he cried and went to heaven to complain to God. When God saw one of the ninety-nine sheep, he ran back and was overjoyed. He arrested the little black sheep and put it in the pen, and never let it go again. Two years is as short as a sigh. How can this sheep lie on the grass forever and be led by water to rest? Unwilling, unwilling, wait for the prodigal son to turn back and make a comeback.

One day, God went to bed after counting sheep. When the time came, the thief took out a touchstone from his pocket and tried everything in the east and west. This time, he did it beautifully-stole a heart made of gold.

Unfortunately, God woke up as soon as he succeeded. He shouted, "Sanmao, Sanmao, I won't punish you for stealing rotten fruit in my garden on weekdays. Now you have done such a thing."

The thief knelt down in fear and said to God, "I didn't steal the apple. I know you left it to Newton. "

God said, "It's not good to steal your heart. Everyone has only one heart. How can you take two? "

I said, "I didn't just steal it. I posted my broken heart and gave it to this person. "

God shook his head and sighed, "One is a fool and the other is a liar. I don't want to see you again Get out of the garden. "

The thief got a fright, then knelt down and cried and asked, "Where are you going?"

God hesitated for a moment and said, "When dust comes out, it belongs to dust. Go back to the mud on the earth."

Hearing this, the thief cried again, but he refused to get up. He said, "That place, which you haven't been to for a long time, is full of wolves, tigers and leopards, wandering around and eating the weak. How can I go down and die? "

After all, God is kind and loving. He raised his hand to me and said, "get up, son, I'll tell you a good place to go."

The thief listened to the heavenly father's words, and bowed to the four worshippers. He quickly went to the pond to drink enough water, covered his green banana leaf cloak and sang songs. For a long time, thanks to this, he was still close to each other, even like a guest in the desert, plowing in the soil.