Mr. Zhu's fortune _ Will Mr. Zhu tell her fortune?

Tolstoy wrote on the first page of his book Anna karenin: "All happy families are similar, and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

There are many reasons for family misfortune. For example, the passage of time has diluted the original strong feelings, such as the obstacles of relatives and friends, the financial difficulties of the family, and the strong opposition of values between the two sides. For another example, to put it simply, the woman once wanted to entrust a man for life, but she didn't intend to accept her from the beginning.

The reason why a man agrees to marry her is just eight simple words-the life of his parents and the words of the matchmaker.

Most women of this fate can only keep this nominal marriage and spend a long and hopeless life silently in the high courtyard and cold moonlight.

Today I'm going to tell the story of two women, one is Zhu An and the other is Zhang Youyi.

Perhaps, many people will be a little unfamiliar with the names of these two women, but if we talk about their husbands, we must be familiar with them. One is Lu Xun, who is known as the "literary fighter of China Revolution", and the other is Xu Zhimo, a representative of neo-romantic scholars under the background of western learning spreading eastward.

The situation of Zhu An and Zhang Youyi is very similar, but their final life outcomes are quite different. ?

? 1

? Zhu An: Snail under the wall.

The world is noisy and lonely. No matter when, in the process of history, there will always be a group of heroes who are brave and diligent, and engrave their great achievements in the historical album. They are respected and will always exist.

But at the same time, in another corner of the world, there are also some weak people who are unable to change their destiny.

They are like snails under the wall, trying their best to climb up, but they have never succeeded in their lives. They live a lonely and humble life, day after day, year after year, asking for many blessings and disappearing into the historical rings without any news.

Zhu An is such a person with bad karma.

She was born in an ordinary official family and married Lu Xun at the age of 28 until her death. Even in her 69-year career, there are only a handful of things she said to Lu Xun.

She once complained to others like this: "The old lady thinks that I don't have a son, and Mr. Da (Lu Xun) doesn't talk to me all day. How can I have a son? "

According to Lu Xun's former servant, Mr. and Mrs. Da only have three sentences a day. In the morning, the old lady called Mr. Big to get up, and Mr. Big promised to say "Hum". The first lady asked Mr. Big for dinner, and Mr. Big snorted again. In the evening, Mr. Big went to bed late and Mrs. Big went to bed early. The wife always asked, "Is the door closed?" At this time, Mr. Wang has only one simple sentence: "turn it off" or "don't turn it off", otherwise Mr. Wang will only talk more if his wife asks Mr. Wang for household money. Such as "how much is it?" Or by the way, what do you want to buy? But if it is longer, it will only be once or twice a month.

Obviously, Lu Xun did not love Zhu An. He once said in a letter to a good friend, "She is a gift from my mother. I only have the obligation to support her. I don't understand love. "

There are many reasons why Lu Xun didn't love Zhu An. For example, Lu Xun, as a young man with a new culture who went to school, naturally hated arranged marriage, and he yearned for a new type of marriage with free union.

For example, before marriage, Lu Xun, who was still studying in Japan, wrote back that it was ok to marry a Zhujiajian girl, but he had to promise two conditions. One is to let Zhujiajian girls go to school.

At that time, Zhu was an old-fashioned official family, which was naturally unacceptable. In their minds, women should have a pair of exquisite three-inch golden lotus, so that they can have a happy marriage and a happy life. And study? A woman is virtuous without talent, so it is enough to read her daughter's classics. In such a family atmosphere, Zhu An naturally became the "virtuous and virtuous" girl expected by her parents.

It's just a pity that such a girl is not liked by Mr. Lu Xun at the forefront of the New Culture Movement. After marriage, Lu Xun found that his two hopes had not been realized, and he was naturally angry.

Zhu An, for example, is a quiet woman. Lu Xun once complained to his mother that he could not go with Zhu An, and her mother asked why. Lu Xun cited an example and said, "Once, I told her that there were delicious things in Japan, and she said yes, yes, she had eaten them. In fact, this kind of thing not only exists in Shaoxing, but also in China. How can she eat it? In this way, we can't talk anymore. " Lu Xun shook his head and sighed, "Talking is not an opponent. It's boring. It's better not to talk."

Zhu An, for example, seems to be less appropriate and considerate. For example, when they first moved to Zhuanta Hutong, Lu Xun's students often came to chat with Lu Xun.

It was very hot at that time, and my fans and I were sweating. As a result, Zhu An made two cups of hot tea and later served a plate of hot lotus root starch as a snack.

It's often embarrassing. Lu Xun said with a wry smile: "since I brought it, let's eat it." Nothing more than sweating again. "

But didn't Zhu An try to change this situation? From some sporadic records, we can see that Zhu An has been trying to change.

For example, when she got married, knowing that the groom Lu Xun likes big feet, she found a pair of big shoes, stuffed cotton, and then stuffed her feet in, hoping to please the groom when she got off the bride's sedan chair. But unfortunately, because the shoes are too big and the feet are too small, the shoes fall out at the moment when you get off the door. All this was seen by Lu Xun.

Zhu An, for example, is a good cook. In order to find out Lu Xun's dietary preferences, she can only judge from how much food is left. If there is less left, she will make more next time.

She took good care of Lu Xun when he was ill. According to Xu Xiansu, a student who once lived in their home, "Before cooking porridge, Mrs. Shi (Zhu An) mashed the rice and cooked it into a porridge paste that is easy to digest, and asked her elder sister to go to famous restaurants such as Daoxiang Village to buy dishes that Mr. Da usually likes to eat, such as rotten chicken, cooked ham and minced meat, and served the porridge to Mr. Da to make it appetizing. She doesn't eat these good dishes herself. "

For example, when living in Xisantiao Hutong, Lu Xun's desk was placed in Juan's room, because the light there was good and quiet. Although Zhu An can't read, she knows that Lu Xun's "writing" is sacred. Therefore, she almost never goes to the study during the day, so as not to disturb her husband's writing.

For example, Zhu An saw that many female students of Lu Xun often visited him at home and looked at their cordial conversation, but couldn't say a word.

In order to get more attention from Lu Xun, she was in her forties at that time and actually learned gymnastics with her students. She also listened to Liu Mu's advice and cut off her old-fashioned bun. But the result was only more disdain from Lu Xun.

As Xu Guangping, Lu Xun's later lover, wrote in his letter to Lu Xun, "The old society left you a painful legacy (in this case, Zhu An). While opposing this heritage, you dare not abandon it. I am afraid that once I get rid of it, it will be difficult to survive in the old society, so I have to be a serf all my life and stick to it. "

It is true enough to point out the essence of the problem. He promised to get married from the beginning, which was a last resort. Because Lu Xun couldn't bear to go against his mother's wishes, he obediently tied a fake braid, put on a dress and finished the wedding, like a puppet.

But he can't break off his marriage, and neither can he. In the era of arranged marriage, he knows what it means for a woman to break off her marriage. So you can only make mistakes step by step.

Lu Xun is lucky. Although his marriage was unfortunate, he later met his own moon-Xu Guangping. They have a son and a daughter, and live a quiet and warm life.

But what about Zhu An?

When learning that Lu Xun lived with Xu Guangping and gave birth to a son, Zhu An painfully said to one of Lu Xun's students, "Mr. Da and I are not good. I want to serve him well. Everything will be fine if I follow him. " But now Zhu An is desperate. I am like a snail, climbing down from the root of the wall bit by bit. Although it is slow, I will climb to the wall one day. But now I have no choice. I have no strength to climb. No matter how good I am, it is useless to treat him. "

Later, after Lu Xun and Lu Mu died one after another, even her basic survival became a problem. Zhou Zuoren suggested that she sell Lu Xun's books in exchange for some living expenses. She hesitated, but finally she didn't sell them. She said, "I would rather suffer than live."

The day before Zhu An's death, her greatest wish was to "return the coffin to the south and be buried next to Mr. Da", but in the end she was buried in the temple outside Xizhimen, neither next to Mr. Da, who loved her life, nor next to her mother Lu, who served her life.

After Zhu An's death, a reporter wrote this passage: "Mrs Zhu lived alone and died alone. In a lonely world, there is a lack of such a lonely person ... Mr. Lu Xun's wife Pei Yuan died of illness. She lived silently for 69 years, and now she has quietly left this world. However, she did an admirable thing. After Lu Xun's death, no matter how poor she was, she couldn't bear to sell Mr. Lu Xun's relics.

2?

Zhang Youyi: Fans in autumn.

Zhang Youyi's family is very rich, his father is a local famous doctor, and his second brother Zhang is an influential politician and philosopher. The fourth brother, Zhang Jiaao, was a famous financier and later served as the chairman of the Bank of China.

But such a family background did not bring her corresponding self-confidence. She once wrote in her biography: "Before telling you my story, I want you to remember one thing: in China, a woman's house is worthless. After she was born, she had to listen to her father; After marriage, you have to obey your husband; I have to follow my son after I lose my spouse. You see, women are worthless. "

It is not surprising that she has such an idea. At that time, her family had 12 children, eight men and four women, and she was the second daughter.

However, under the background of such a patriarchal era, when she was very young, her mother told her that she had eight children because only her son counted. The daughter is an "outsider" and "free to eat and drink".

Under such influence, she/kloc-dropped out of normal college at the age of 0/5 and married Xu Zhimo.

According to relevant records, Zhang Youyi in the eyes of others: "He has beautiful lines, loves light makeup and elegance, is silent, has a dignified manner and shows off his wisdom."

Xu Zhimo, who has always advocated free love, doesn't know whether it is out of opposition to arranged marriage or whether he really despises Zhang Youyi. When he first saw the photo of Zhang Youyi, Xu Zhimo disdainfully said, "Hillbilly."

However, parents' orders and matchmakers' words. Father's orders are not allowed to be violated. Xu Zhimo still agreed to this marriage.

The wedding day was very lively. Most of the bride's dowry is customized by her brother from Europe. The Xu family also hosted many guests, who came to bless the couple.

But they don't know that this lively wedding is just the beginning of their tragedy.

After marriage, Zhang Youyi soon gave birth to a son named Ahuan, and Xu Zhimo's parents were very happy.

However, on the grounds of studying, Xu Zhimo simply bid farewell to his family and embarked on a trip to study abroad.

For a long time, Zhang Youyi and Xu Zhimo were separated.

About two years later, under the pressure of Zhang Youyi's brother and parents, Xu Zhimo wrote to inform Zhang Youyi to reunite with him in England.

Zhang Youyi was very happy to hear the news. She thinks that her painful days are finally over.

When she arrived in England, she was disappointed again.

According to Zhang Youyi's memory, among many people who greeted their families, she recognized Xu Zhimo at a glance because he was the only one in the group who didn't want to meet.

Soon, Zhang Youyi was pregnant again. But at this time, Xu Zhimo was enthusiastically pursuing Lin, so he suggested that Zhang Youyi abort the child.

Zhang Youyi was very worried and said, "I heard someone died of miscarriage."

Xu Zhimo didn't even look at her. He said coldly, "someone died because of taking the train." Don't you see people don't take the train? "

Zhang Youyi could only swallow her tears in her stomach, but she wanted to keep the baby.

After all, that's their own flesh and blood. She always thought that having children would give them more hope and protection.

Who knows, later, Xu Zhimo actually wanted a divorce. Seeing that Zhang Youyi didn't agree, he walked away, leaving Zhang Youyi alone in Shaston.

With the approach of labor, Zhang Youyi wrote to his second brother for help, went to Paris, and later went to Berlin to give birth to Peter.

During this time, Zhang Youyi was disheartened. He had no hope for this relationship and agreed to divorce Xu Zhimo.

This has also become the first western-style divorce case in the history of the Republic of China, and it has also appeared in newspapers.

Later, when talking about this matter, Zhang Youyi said calmly, "I am like a fan in autumn, only used to drive away blood-sucking mosquitoes. When the mosquito bit the moon, the owner tore up the fan. "

In Germany, she studied German hard, studied while working, and entered Pestalozzi College to study early childhood education. But in 1925, unfortunately, her youngest son, Peter, who was only three years old, died of illness.

Zhang Youyi was deeply saddened.

At this point, Xu Zhimo actually took the initiative to find Zhang Youyi to catch up.

Zhang Youyi was greatly surprised. Later, I learned that Xu Zhimo had come to escape. At that time, he fell in love with Lu Xiaoman, a married woman, and they hit it off, but Lu Xiaoman's husband was furious and threatened revenge.

Xu Zhimo has no choice but to go abroad for a period of time.

1926, Zhang Youyi was taken back to Shanghai by his eighth brother.

Zhang Youyi, who returned to Shanghai, seemed to be a different person and worked hard. At first, with the help of her brother, she served as the vice president of Shanghai Women's Commercial Bank.

At that time, the bank staff later recalled: "She was about 40 years old that year, with a straight back, looking slightly taller, dignified and generous, and everyone was demeanor. She works in our business hall, goes to work on time, rarely talks except answering the phone, and has been concentrating on reading documents. I often ask her to stamp statements and bound subpoenas, and sometimes I hear her call in German. "

Later, she founded Shang Yun Clothing Company, the first new-style clothing company in Shanghai, whose unique three-dimensional cutting method once led the trend in Shanghai.

After Xu Zhimo's death, Zhang Youyi handled everything calmly and decisively.

Even at this time, Zhang Youyi sent money to help Lu Xiaoman and Lu Xiaoman become addicted to opium, suffering from poverty and illness. The Complete Works of Xu Zhimo in Taiwan Province Province was also edited and published under her planning.

When Xu's parents died, Zhang Youyi, as an adopted daughter, also died.

At 53, Zhang Youyi hit it off with a doctor and wanted to get married again. He wrote to his son for advice.

My son's reply was sincere: "My mother has been widowed for more than 30 years. She gave birth to me, caressed me, bowed to me and raised me ... I was rarely happy in my mother's life. Mother's duties have been done, and her heart should be comforted. Who can comfort her? Who's with mother? The mother is like a person, and the son asks the father. "

1953, 53-year-old Zhang Youyi married Su Jizhi, and they lived together for 20 years after marriage.

1972, Su Jizhi died of intestinal cancer, and Zhang Youyi moved to new york to reunite with his beloved son.

1988, Zhang Youyi died at the age of 88 and was buried in the beautiful Fernov cemetery in the suburb of new york. The tombstone is engraved with the words "Su Zhang Friendship".

Later, someone always asked Zhang Youyi how he felt about Xu Zhimo. Zhang Youyi replied, "You always ask me if I love Xu Zhimo. You know, I can't answer this question. I am puzzled by this question, because people always tell me that I have done so much for Xu Zhimo and I must love him. However, I can't say what love is. I have never said "I love you" to anyone. If taking care of Xu Zhimo and his family is called making love, then I probably love him. Among the women he met in his life, maybe I love him the most. "

Regarding Zhang Youyi's life, Liang Shiqiu's evaluation of her in "Talking about Xu Zhimo" is very pertinent: "She has lived her life silently and strongly, and she has done her duty. Anyone who has done her duty is worthy of respect for her husband, her husband's family and her son.

three

Zhu An and Zhang Youyi are both direct victims of the old-style arranged marriage, and their situation is very similar-the marriage was arranged by their parents, and the husband refused to accept himself from the beginning. Marriage brings them little happiness, but more endless waiting and suffering.

But in the end, when they come to the edge of life, their lives are completely different.

Although Zhu An knew that Lu Xun had no feelings for himself, he never wanted to leave Zhou's home and start a new life. She lived a miserable life, guarded Lu Xun's mother and had a nominal marriage with Lu Xun all her life. In the end, she died in a miserable life, and even after her death, she did not satisfy her wish to be buried with Lu Xun.

Lu Xun, a scholar with extremely heavy family values, only mentioned his original wife, Zhu An, three times in his article, and all of them were called "wives and concubines".

For example, Lu Xun's diary19141.26 records that the activity of that day is like the next stroke: "I got a book from my wife in the afternoon and sent it to Zhu Zhai from Ding's house on the 22nd, which is quite absurd." For example, Lu Xun's Diary1912.24: "In the afternoon, I sent two boats to Shaoxing, with my mother, three brothers and their families. Uncle Jiang Yutian came to see me off." For example, Lu Xun's Diary1August 2, 923: "In the afternoon, my wife and I moved to No.61Zhuanta Hutong."

After realizing that Xu Zhimo had no feelings for himself, Zhang Youyi decided to let go and agreed to divorce Xu Zhimo. Later, I taught myself German, worked as a German teacher, worked as a vice president of a bank, and finally founded Shang Yun Clothing Company, leading the fashion trend in Shanghai. In his later years, he married another like-minded man. Looking back on her life, it can be said that although there have been twists and turns, the final ending is complete and full.

Even Xu Zhimo, who initially despised Zhang Youyi in every way, even called Zhang Youyi a "hillbilly", and later praised her in a letter to Lu Xiaoman: "A woman with ambition and courage has made great progress in the past two years. Her independent footsteps stand firm and her thoughts are very clear. "

Two women in similar circumstances have completely different life endings. In addition to the influence of one's own family, I think more reasons lie in one's different choices of fate.

When you know that you are in deep prison, should you blame others and continue to be numb, or go out decisively and turn around and open up a new world of your life. The choice is in the hands of each party, and different choices make different lives. ?

four

A long time ago, Lao Tzu said that misfortune and happiness are interdependent. "Happiness lies in which misfortune depends; Misfortune is a blessing. "Misfortune and blessing, good and bad, happiness and misfortune ... everything in the world is not absolute, it is constantly changing.

Life is also a wonderful process, and those things that seem to hinder us can also achieve us at a certain moment.

Zhang Youyi said in his later years, "I should thank Xu Zhimo for divorcing me. If it weren't for my divorce, I might never find myself and grow up. He liberated me and became another person. "

Indeed, if not divorced in time, even Zhang Youyi will spend his life in a daze with a man who doesn't know himself, just like Zhu An.

Taiwan Province's advertising godfather Li Xinpin once said, "Think of yourself as a cube of sugar. Put it in coffee, coffee will not be bitter, and put it in tea, tea will not be astringent. "

May everyone, you and I, always remember the great power of this little cube of sugar.

Never forget that things are difficult. If you encounter misfortune, may you and I both have the courage to let go of the past until we die.

After all, let's not forget that the stars are beautiful because of a flower; This desert is beautiful because there is a well hidden in its corner.

Get through it. There are new students ahead.