Feifei fortune teller

1. The dwarf crosses the river-a (submerged) heart

2. A nun in buddhist nun-no luck (husband)

3. Boil lamp oil-heartburn (core)

4. Stir-fry Chinese onion with cabbage leaves-add pro (green) to pro (green)

5. Fight to pull out the beard-modesty (persistence) and inadequacy (beard)

6. The big ship carries the sun-it doesn't cross for almost a day.

7. Swimming in the cesspit-not afraid of death (shit)

Homophonic joke

1, see chicken.

Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but he couldn't just pay the rent.

I have to give him a chicken first.

A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year.

When he went, he put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent and told the landlord about the lease for next year.

However, he looked at the sky with empty hands and said, "There are no three kinds of fields in this field."

Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag. basic concept

After eating the chicken, he immediately changed his mouth and said, "Who will I give it to if I don't give it to Zhang San?"

Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so fast!"

The landlord replied: "that sentence was nonsense just now, and now it is' seeing'."

Machine (chicken) making. "

2. This is the ear

The new magistrate is from Shandong. Because he wanted to pay the bill, he said to the master, "You give it to me."

Go buy two bamboo poles. "

When touts heard that the "bamboo pole" with Shandong accent was "pig liver", they quickly agreed and ran away.

Go to the butcher shop and say to the shopkeeper, "Master Xinxian wants to buy two pieces of pork liver. You are a clever man.

You should know it! "

The shopkeeper is a clever man. He understood as soon as he heard it. He immediately cut two pieces of pig liver as gifts.

There are a pair of pig ears.

After leaving the butcher's shop, the owner thought, "The owner told me to buy pork liver. This pig ear, of course. "

This is mine ... "So he wrapped the pig's ear and stuffed it into his pocket. Back to the county government, to the magistrate of a county.

"Come back and report, Grandpa," he said. "I bought pig liver!"

The magistrate was very angry when he saw that the master had bought pig liver, and said, "Where are your ears!" " "

Hearing this, the touts frighten forward, hurriedly replied:

"Ears … ears … here … in my … pocket!"

3, homophonic help

A noble official invited a banquet. The cook was sent to prison by your officials because the cake he fried was raw.

The next day, your official held another banquet. There are two people who want to save the cook, one is a fortune teller and the other is a fortune teller.

As an old man, please count eight characters and tell your fortune by catering.

Fortune teller: "When did you respect old Geng Jia?"

The old man deliberately said loudly: "Bing Zi Sheng."

The fortune teller repeatedly shouted, "Not good."

The old man pretended to be unhappy and asked, "It's only been a year, and I don't have time. Why can't you say it well? "

The fortune teller said, "Yesterday Jiazi was born in prison, and you were born in Bingzi (homophonic" cake ")?"

The guests all burst out laughing. Your official understood the meaning and released the chef.