202 1 humorous joke copy

1. Set Five Blessingg is nothing. If your family can gather five "demolitions" in 2020, you will be enough in this life!

My wife is becoming more and more feminine. She used to keep her mouth shut, but now she is my mother, which makes me very happy!

3. A child asked me, "Sister, do you know the names of Snow White and Bao Dad's children?" For an instant, I was lost. Then the child said, "Cinderella, of course, idiot." I ...

4. Small coup of life: friends who lack iodine can supplement it by working overtime, because as the saying goes-work overtime to supplement iodine!

Bees chase butterflies, but butterflies marry snails. The bee is puzzled: "Where is he better than me?" The butterfly replied, "People at least have their own house, unlike you who live in a dormitory."

6. Two children are chatting. One asked: Why did your parents hit you last night? "Another answer: Hum, it's all my fault. What did you say wrong? They asked my grandfather if he was better. I said, mule or horse. Come out for a walk.

7. Go shopping with your wife to buy clothes. I sat next to her. My wife bargained with the shop assistant: "Cheap. You see my husband is poor and has no money! " I ...

8. I asked a child to dance, and he said weakly, "I won't." I said, "Boys should be confident and bold". As a result, he shouted "I won't".

9. Today, after bathing and combing my hair, I said to the mirror: hair, hair, grow quickly. At this time, my boyfriend came over and whispered in my ear: Keep your voice down, don't let the flesh hear you. My answer is only one mouth, and you just call me fat in disguise!

10. I am too poor to discuss financial management with my wife. My wife said that buying a limited package can appreciate!

1 1. When I saw a beautiful woman while shopping, I went forward and accosted her: Hello, beautiful woman, I'm lost. Can you tell me the way to your heart? She gave me a white look and said, are you sick? I wonder if you can navigate?

12. On the wedding day, my mother-in-law said to me, "If my daughter is unreasonable in the future, you tell me and I will teach you how to deal with her." My wife was really rude today, so I called my mother-in-law. Mother-in-law said, "Do you think she looks like a reasonable person? Don't reason with her, but coax her. "

13. The fortune teller told a young man that the correct placement of furniture could change the fate of the owner. When I got home, I immediately put the TV on the door and waited for my wife to push the door and enter the house.

14. My wife is addicted to detective stories recently and has just finished reading another one. I asked her what she saw. She said, "I learned a new skill. If you want to find a mistress in the future, I can create a scene where you two are double-crossed. "

15. Buddies are getting married, and the bride price is150,000. The buddy couldn't get it out, pointing bitterly at his mother-in-law: "In the future, when your two sons get married, the other family wants150,000, and you can't get it out. What do you do? " The prospective mother-in-law thought for a long time and raised the bride price to 300 thousand.

16. If you find that none of your friends have invited you to dinner recently, you should think about whether all these friends have invited you. It's time to change friends.

17. The coach gave an accurate evaluation to the girl who took the driver's license test with me: nodding her head three times at the beginning, turning the corner to refuel, backing up to listen to the sound, making no noise and not looking back, rolling pits with pits, and rolling stones without pits.

18. The teacher assigned an assignment to the students, asking them to bring something from home to school to make the school as warm as home. The next day, some students brought potted plants on the table, some students brought game machines to play, and some students brought snacks to eat. Xiaoming walked into the classroom in his pajamas.

19. Teacher: Now the environmental pollution is getting more and more serious. Please describe the seriousness of air pollution in one sentence! Xiaoming: The air is a little stuffy today.

20. Husband: "Wife, it is really not easy for two people to come out from the countryside to work. Don't worry, as long as I have a bite to eat, I will let you have a sip of urine to drink! Daughter-in-law: "Husband, I am relieved to have you. As long as you can eat enough, I will die of thirst! " "

2 1. Me: "Mom, can I have a say at home this year?" Mom: "Why?" Me: "You see, this year is the Year of the Rooster, and I am the only rooster in my family. This is at least the mascot at home! " Mom: "I think it is next year." Several of your cousins are chickens, but you are the only one left in single dog. "

22. Sometimes, when waiting in line for meals in the canteen, the greatest comfort is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front, but that there are more and more people behind. I was relieved to see so many people unable to eat.

23. Just after getting off the bus, my mother called and said that my sister had arrived home and the family was waiting for me. More feel anxious to return, the fatigue of the journey swept away. I burst into tears as soon as I put down my luggage after entering the door. My mother handed me an apron and a rag: your arm is the longest in your house, just waiting for you to come back and clean the windows!

24. I went to a restaurant and ordered a shredded potato and a roast chicken. I couldn't bite that piece of chicken, so I called the waiter: you're lying to me. You can't bite this meat. Call your boss! The waiter said, big brother, you can't bite this meat, and of course he can't bite it! Me: ...

My mother has been nagging me to bring a boyfriend back years ago. I said to my mother, "Don't worry, Mom, I will definitely bring back a son-in-law who is tall, handsome and can do laundry and cooking. It will be good for you to enter the kitchen under the main room." My mother glanced at me: "Just like you, just find someone who can pee standing up."

26. Shopping with girlfriends, her son called her, and she deliberately teased her son: Hello! Who are you? Who are you looking for? My best friend's son answered angrily on the phone: Mom, I am your baby. I am looking for the most beautiful and lovely mother in the world! My best friend smiled proudly at me. I listened to the sound of small milk, and my heart softened. I picked up my cell phone and called my son. As soon as the phone was connected, I deliberately asked: Who are you? The son replied impatiently over there: mom, don't be a fool! DuDu.