Very funny copy

1. I stayed with a distant relative for two days. There is a custom that children's urine is the cleanest, so they use boys' urine to cook eggs, saying it is healthy. I dare not eat, but people are very enthusiastic and keep urging me to eat. I have no choice but to say: I don't like eggs. My relatives are cuter, so you can have some soup. ...

I took a bus once. A beautiful MM got on the bus. 0. Just listen to the reply from the credit card reader: Drop the old card! The whole car froze and looked at her. 0. Tian Mu, haven't you seen it? An uncle stood up and said, come, aunt, sit here.

A friend of mine was smoking, and his teacher saw him. His teacher said that you are so poor and still smoke. Then he said: I just think I am poor, so I don't want to live that long. His master pondered for a while and said, give one, too!

4. Teacher: Xiaoming, your problem is the improper use of words. Now I'll test you, and use an idiom to describe the teacher's happiness. Xiaoming: Smile.

Teacher Jiuquan: Get out.

In the morning meeting, the dean was so strange, like a different person, and his tone was obviously different from before. Colleagues touch their chins and say: Different breath? That may be garlic.

6. Wife: Husband, what if someone calls me a beauty in the street? Husband: Then you should help him cross the street quickly! Wife: Husband, why is this? Husband: Because he is blind!

7. I remember Xiaoming's primary school, when there was a legend here. When fighting with people, I hit my chest a few times, and my potential broke out, which was several times worse than usual! I have a little friend who wants to talk to Xiao Ming about PK ................................................................................................................................................................... First he shouted "Ah", and then he beat his chest.

seven

Eight times, I cried with a hammer, and I was shocked!

8. Next door

A 10-year-old child with internet addiction was once dragged back from an internet cafe by his father and whipped in the yard. The child didn't cry, but he was still mumbling. I was curious. What are you mumbling about? As I approached, this guy shouted: The attack is invalid, I have a shield. ...

9. When I was a child, someone told my best friend fortune telling that she was looking for a big tree to worship her parents.

Once every three years, it can be resolved, so she found a big tree in a remote place and tied it with a red rope to worship. This lasted for two years, the first time.

When I went to worship again three years ago, I found that the tree was struck by lightning ... Since then, my mother's eyes have changed ... 10. A while ago, I was playing at a friend's house, and my friend's mother washed some green radishes for us to eat. Radish is really spicy, and my burping mouth feels spicy. I wanted to exaggerate the description that the radish was too spicy, but I said something that made my IQ zero ... Shit, this radish is too spicy and burns my ass! 1 1. Daughter-in-law can't drink cold food during her period. Just now, I saw her drinking iced coke through a straw. I said with anger and distress, good boy, I can't drink this for two days. She probably felt wrong and didn't say anything. After a pause, I began to blow into the cup, and the coke was blown with many bubbles. Then she looked at me and said, "Now you can drink, it's all open ... daughter-in-law, your husband, am I an idiot?" ?

12. A female friend and a homosexual share a house. One night she was very depressed, and that gay gave her a bowl of noodles very thoughtfully. She suddenly felt very warm and said, otherwise, let's make do with it. I didn't expect gay's face to change greatly: you want a beautiful woman, you don't have a man, I can have one!