A sketch or crosstalk eager to protect the environment (don't make it up yourself)

You don't have to make it up yourself, just use ready-made ones. Sketch crosstalk has a funny function. Whether it is good or not depends on the performance of the actors.

The story of the golden axe and the silver axe

Starring: Tang Priest, Wukong, Pig Friar Sand, Bai and Lin Changzhi.

Once upon a time, there was a small house in a big forest. The young sand waits for a while (played by the sand monk) and lives in the hut. Sha waited for a while to live with her stepmother (Tang Priest) and her three biological sons: Monkey Elf (Wukong), Pig Bajie (Bajie) and Ma Baibai (Bai).

Sha's life for a while is miserable. His stepmother and brothers treat him like a donkey. Every day before dawn, I will go up the mountain to cut wood, and I will come back to cook and wash clothes before it is dark ... I will eat leftovers and wear rags, and I will be beaten by my stepmother!

On this day early in the morning, the East just radiant with long-term stability (named after Lin Changzhi's face, white inside is red), and the stepmother of the Tang Dynasty began to crow before the chicken crowed. ...

Tang stepmother: "Wait a minute! Rabbit, if you don't get up, I'll say a spell! "

Sha waited for a while, let out a cry and dressed silently. His younger brothers hid under the covers and sang Jay Chou's song with a smile: "Listen to your mother ~ I won't hit you ..."

Sha waited for a while without breakfast and went up the hill to cut wood. After chopping all morning, he carried a tall and heavy woodpile on his back and sold it in the market. There is a small river on the road, and there is a wooden bridge on the river, which is wet and slippery. He walked carefully onto the bridge ... just then, an ostrich flew into his nose. The nose is normal, and the ostrich is really small. ) I couldn't help sneezing after waiting for a while. This spray doesn't matter. The axe nailed to him fell into the river and soon disappeared into the rushing river. ...

You know, this is no ordinary axe! One end of this axe is connected with the first-class hope of the Sha family, old and young, and the other end is connected with the important task of ensuring the energy supply of urban residents. Without this axe, the whole family would have no livelihood; Without this axe, urban residents can only eat raw meat, which in turn leads to human brains shrinking and degenerating into primitive society ... especially the stepmother of the Tang Dynasty, and then degenerating into cannibals! what can I do? Can make our little sand worry!

He ran to the river and tried to jump into it to fish, but he couldn't swim. How deep is this river? Not sure. Xiao Sha retreated. At this time, a salmon was swimming in the water. ...

Sha waited for a while and asked Salmon, "Hello, Maha! Excuse me, is it deep here? "

Salmon: "you are the maha fish!" " Why do you ask if the river is deep? Do you want to come down and lay eggs? Come down, the water is not deep, just past my thigh ... "

Sha waited cheekily for a while, rolled up his trouser legs and was about to go down the river. Suddenly, a little squirrel appeared out of nowhere, grabbed his trouser leg and said, "Danger! Don't listen to Maha's bluff, the river is deep! Last week, my cousin and his wife fell in love here, and both of them died ... whoops ~ "

"ah? Really? " Sand waited for a while and dared not go into the river. Sitting on the wooden bridge, looking at the water under the bridge, he couldn't help frowning and feeling sad. Look at the water and cry ...

Suddenly, the river began to swirl, and white fog rose in the vortex. When the white fog cleared, I saw a handsome man (decorated by Lin Changzhi) floating on the water! This handsome man has a handsome face, a slender figure, a plain clothes, six ponytails, sage like type and graceful demeanor. Suddenly, flowers are in full bloom by the river, birds and animals are singing together, the river flows backwards, and lotus flowers are surging ... The sand waited for a while and his eyes were straight.

The handsome boy breathed a sigh of relief and said, "It really takes perseverance to dive for so many years. I have to reply to a post today ... who is wailing here? "

Sha waited for a while: "You ... you grew up in the river? "

Handsome boy: "I am the river god of this river!" " Jianghu people send nicknames: Bo Bawang! Just call me Boba ... "

Shah waited for a while: "How do you know my name? Such a small river also has a river god? How do you live? "

Boba: "What is a name? I know what your bust is! Who told me I was a god! God is everywhere. There are two dragon kings living in the well in your backyard. Their living environment is humble. Compared with me, they have already gone to sea! "

Sha waited for a while: "Hungry God! Can you help me take out my axe? "

Boba: "Oh … you are a tofu man sitting here with tearful eyes because you dropped an axe?" ? The future is boundless! Hey, here's some money to buy another one. "

Sha waited for a while and borrowed money. When he saw it, it was a brand-new pile of money with the words "water coin" printed on it! He said thank you, and the wind ran to the forge ... and soon came back. "Brother Boba, people say they don't accept parallel imports!" Let's talk later.

"Don't accept my money? Damn it! I am looking for his theory. "

"Master River God," Sha said in a pleading tone after waiting for a while, "Help me take out my axe."

"Do you understand?" The river god looked reluctant: "I don't have a leaky spoon. How can I catch it?"

"You take off your pants and help me fish."

"I … I can't swim."

"mom! Little Shenyang can't swim? "

"Who said that the river god can swim? According to your logic, Niu Wangmo will certainly plow the fields? The land Lord must be very rustic, right? "

"But, just now I watched you jump out of the water. ...

"Um ... ok ... change the dry clothes today! I really don't want to make waves. This famous brand can't be washed, and it's all cotton, afraid of shrinking ... "Boba Mill reluctantly took off his clothes, put on a tight beaver suit and jumped into the water. ...

Soon, the water turned golden, and Boba appeared with a golden axe in his hand!

"Ah! Is this right? "

"Let me see." Xiao Sha picked up the axe in his hand and looked at it. He said firmly, "Not this."

"How good this golden axe is, just take it."

"It's too heavy, not easy. Please help me catch it again. "

So Boba went fishing again. Soon, the water was shining with silver, and he appeared with a silver axe in his hand!

"Ah! This is it! "

Xiao Sha said, "Not yet, this one is not as sharp as mine ... Why are there so many axes in the river?"

The salmon jumped out of the water and said, "Fuck! It's not just those rich people who are too idle to cut us with axes! "

Boba fished in the river for the third time. This time, the iron light on the water was zero, and he came out with an iron axe in his hand!

"wow! This is it! " I waited for a while and cried happily.

Boba asked Xiao Sha with a gold and silver axe, "Both the gold axe and the silver axe are more valuable than your iron axe. Don't you want them? "

Xiao Sha said, "No matter how valuable it is, it belongs to others. I don't want it. " When he said this, Sha's image kept getting higher and higher for a while ... so high that his buttons and belts collapsed and his clothes and trousers fell all over the floor.

"Well, you are an honest boy. Wait a minute, you have passed my test, and now you are officially knighted! " Boba said seriously.

"What do knights care?"

"When you become a knight, you won't spend money to cut wood in the future, just cut it!"

"Zhang Jun sobbed! Thanks to Boba. "

"Since you don't want my two axes, I will take them back ... I hope more and more people will learn from you and become honest people, and our society will be saved ..." Boba raised his eyebrows twice.

After waiting for a while, I left happily.

Salmon: "Hey? Big face, are you embarrassed? Is the axe yours? Just put it in your pocket? "

"It's none of your business! Whoever picks up is who! "

…………

Besides, Sha waited for a while and came home, telling her stepmother and brothers what had happened like winning the lottery.

When Tang's stepmother heard this, she swore, "You useless person! I don't want a gold axe or a silver axe. You are angry with me on purpose! You see, I don't have to roll you to death with a doorknob! "

Sha waited for a while and jumped up to avoid: "I was also made a knight!" You can cut wood without spending money in the future! "

The monkey spirit asked, "You fool, you still spend money to cut wood!" " "

Xiao Sha: "Flowers. Every day when I go up the mountain, a dark and strong man says that he opened the mountain and planted this tree ... People planted trees, and of course they have to pay for cutting them down. "

"Mom, give you a door sticker!"

..... The poor little sand knight had another full meal. Of course, Tang's stepmother and brothers won't let it go. They all have their own abacus in mind.

The next day, Monkey Spirit came to the river very happily. He looked around, carefully took out a small wallet from his pocket and secretly poured out the money inside: 30 dinars. Then, he threw his empty wallet into the river ... curled up by the river and cried.

Boba, the river god, surfaced again. ...

Boba: "Who cries like a toad?"

Monkey Genie: "Who can help me! I dropped my wallet in the river! Gaga ~ "

Boba: "Don't cry, I'll go down and help you fish!" " "After that, Boba jumped into the river and fished for him without saying anything (he didn't have to change clothes because he had been wearing an otter three-piece suit), and immediately fished out two wallets. One is old and flat, and the other is new and drum! " Which one is yours? "

Without thinking, the monkey pointed to the brand-new bulging wallet and said, "That's it!" " "

Boba opened her wallet and said, "I can't just give it to you." I have to check ... Huh? This is your ID card ... Your name is Zhou Zhenglong? The one with the fake South China tiger? "

"Yes, my name is Zhou Zhenglong, nicknamed Erlongzi."

"But ... this photo is not like you! Not as good as you. "

"Oh, it was just taken away by a car three years ago ... now I have a good face."

"So, it looks like your wallet. Here you are. "

The monkey spirit left excitedly with a bulging new wallet. I opened it when I got home. What a big sum of money! I have never seen so many counterfeit coins in my life! "I didn't expect this company B to be fake!" The Monkey King cursed!

When the Monkey King was going out to try his luck and spend counterfeit money, someone knocked at the door. When I opened the door, I saw the man in the photo-Zhou Zhenglong!

He came to ask for his wallet ... Monkey Jing had to give it back to others ... The next day, Zhou Zhenglong posted on the Internet: "People are not old, picking up people's wallets and actually returning them with counterfeit money!"

On the third day, the pig dragged it to the river, threw a piece of paper into the river and sat by the river crying.

Boba, the river god, appeared again. "Who is it? Crying like a wild donkey. "

"My girlfriend fell into the water, who can help me with it? Ah ~ hiccup ~ ah ~ hiccup ~ "

Boba: "I really should start a salvage company ..." Then I got into the river and touched two women. "Which is your girlfriend?"

The pig pulled his head and didn't run back ... only two women behind him caught up. ...

"Sister Furong, whoever catches up with that person wants it!"

"Jimmy, don't bother. You didn't die with me. "

…………

On the fourth day, the horse came to the river in vain, threw a used notebook into the river, and then sat on the wooden bridge and cried. Boba, the river god, appeared again.

Boba: "Who cries like a joke?"

Ma Bobai: "My notebook fell into the river. That's my favorite book ... hee hee ga ~ "

Boba jumped into the river, and it didn't take long for him to take out a notebook and give it to Ma Bobo. "Hey, that's it, IBM dual-core processor!" "

Ma Bobai was obviously disappointed and said, "What nonsense is this! I don't want it! "

Boba once dived into the river, and this time he fished out a brand-new notebook with 64 pages, cowhide 128 pages. The horse robbed the notebook for nothing and kissed again and again. "That's it!" I went home without thanking him.

Boba: "What a child who loves learning ..."

On the fifth day, Tang's stepmother came to the river and squatted down and cried.

Boba: "Say it! What did you drop? Crying like an old hen! "

Tang stepmother: "My man fell! Giggle ga ~ "

Hearing this, Boba caught two people from the river and asked, "Which one is yours?"

…………

Tang's stepmother took the man she loved home. After entering the door, the man introduced himself and said, "Son, I am your mother's new boyfriend. My name is Song Zhude ... "

On the sixth day, the children ran to the river and cried, "Boba, Boba, Boba, hurry up!" Our mother fell into the river! " …………