What is the classic line of Zhao Benshan's abduction?

Gao Xiumin: Hey ~ ~ ~ What a fool! Big fool!

Zhao Benshan: What are you yelling about? Don't call me a stage name in front of everyone, okay?

Gao Xiumin: The father.

Zhao Benshan: Hey.

Gao Xiumin: If you ask me, don't sell this turn!

Zhao Benshan: Don't say that. I don't sell. It takes work and materials to realize this transformation. I haven't slept for a day and a night. If I don't sell, I won't lose money.

Gao Xiumin: The streets are full of good legs and feet. Who will buy your things?

Zhao Benshan: You don't know my merits yet, and you call me a liar. I can fool you into living a good life with the adulterer and the young couple. I'll lie to him and say goodbye. Today I am a kidnapper, and I can trick him into limping with a pair of good legs!

Gao Xiumin: Haha, you can forget it.

Zhao Benshan: Believe it or not?

Gao Xiumin: I don't believe you can fool a man with good legs?

Zhao Benshan: That's my strong point.

Gao Xiumin: Sometimes you make mistakes in advance!

Zhao Benshan: This turn was a mistake.

Gao Xiumin: Then the streets are full of legs and feet. Who will buy it?

Zhao Benshan: Honey, let's find a good one and sell it to him today to see my bluff.

Gao Xiumin: Then why don't you lie?

Zhao Benshan: Where there is a will, there is a way, understand? Give me a shout.

Gao Xiumin: I won't fool you, just do it yourself ~

Zhao Benshan: Look at me and blink, will you? Hey, someone is coming, shout ~ ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: Ah, a turn. Oh, turn, turn! Turn, turn! Turn around!

Fan Wei: I said, what are you bossing around for? You knew where I was going, so you made me turn.

Zhao Benshan: Shout for sale.

Gao Xiumin: Oh! Sell,

Zhao Benshan: What do you sell?

Gao Xiumin: Turn around.

Zhao Benshan: Connect.

Gao Xiumin: Kidnapped! Kidnapped

Fan Wei: Huh? What's going on here? Who wants to kidnap you?

Gao Xiumin: No, he trafficked ~ ~ ~

Fan Wei: Are you selling people?

Zhao Benshan: What kind of eyes are you looking at, abduction, so you can sell and you can buy!

Fan Wei: What's wrong with you? This is,

Zhao Benshan: What's the matter? Mind your own business ~ ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: We are lovers, and we are playing here!

Zhao Benshan: Hehehe, we are a family. We play here!

Fan Wei: This couple, on the first day of New Year's Day, sold their wives to play ~ ~ ~ Oh ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: Trafficking ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: Gee ~ ~ It's dangerous ~ ~ He is very ill ~

Zhao Benshan: Getting off is very serious.

Gao Xiumin: What?

Zhao Benshan: It's too serious.

Fan Wei: What are you talking about?

Zhao Benshan: Hehe, it's none of your business ~ ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: What's the matter? Is it serious?

Zhao Benshan: You should tell him not to tell him about the disease. It's dangerous ~ ~ ~ It's okay. I can see that there is something wrong here. My wife won't let me talk. You can't believe it either. Go, it's okay ~ ~ Hehe ~ ~ It's okay ~ ~ Go ~ ~

Fan Wei: You really can talk.

Zhao Benshan: It's too late to find the disease!

Fan Wei: What's wrong with you? Say something nice during the Chinese New Year! What's going on

Zhao Benshan: Don't get excited, it's wrong. Alas, you don't believe it either ~ ~ ~

Fan Wei: You must tell me whether I believe it or not. What's going on here?

Zhao Benshan: Regardless of your illness, I know what you do!

Fan Wei: Ahem, I know what I'm doing. What should I do?

Zhao Benshan: You are the big boss in business-

Fan Wei: What?

Zhao Benshan: That's impossible.

Fan Wei: Nonsense,

Zhao Benshan: You? ...

Fan Wei: Did Big Boss survive?

Zhao Benshan: Working in a hotel.

Gao Xiumin: How did you know he was in the hotel?

Zhao Benshan: I smell chopped green onion ~ ~ ~ Is it from the hotel?

Fan Wei: So ~ ~ ~ What do you think I'm doing in a restaurant?

Zhao Benshan: master chef!

Fan Wei: Hey?

Zhao Benshan: Really?

Gao Xiumin: Gee, how do you know he is a chef?

Zhao Benshan: Big head, thick neck, either rich or a cook! -Isn't it? Is it a chef?

Fan Wei: Wow, OK, OK ~ ~ You guessed it.

Zhao Benshan: Not really?

Fan Wei: I don't know if I believe it until you say it.

Zhao Benshan: I haven't felt a part of you recently, which is different from before. You think, you think hard ~ ~, you tell the truth,

Fan Wei: I don't see any difference. I just feel my face getting bigger and bigger.

Zhao Benshan: By the way, this is not the main symptom! Do you know why your face is big?

Fan Wei: Why?

Zhao Benshan: It's the necrosis of your peripheral nerve that makes it bigger.

Fan Wei: Where are you holding back?

Zhao Benshan: Below the waist ~ ~ ~ Feet up ~ ~ ~

Fan Wei: Legs?

Zhao Benshan: Yes!

Fan Wei: No, there is nothing wrong with my leg!

Zhao Benshan: Take two steps! Take two steps! Take two steps without illness! Do you want to see a doctor? Just take two steps to see a doctor!

Fan Wei: OK ~ ~ Take two steps, two steps, two steps ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: Stop! What's wrong with your shoes?

Fan Wei: Is there a problem?

Zhao Benshan: One high and one low?

Fan Wei: These are sports shoes!

Zhao Benshan: Yes, your leg is sick and one leg is short!

Fan Wei: That's not true! If I want a long leg and a short leg, the pants seller will tell me!

Zhao Benshan: Did the pants seller tell you that you still buy pants, just like my heart?

Zhao Benshan: Stop! Are you numb?

Fan Wei: Numb.

Gao Xiumin: Why is he numb?

Zhao Benshan: Stamping will numb you!

Zhao Benshan: Are you numb? Are you numb?

Fan Wei: numb ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: Get up, get up! Don't be empty, the leg 100% is sick, don't be empty, relax! Let's go Go, go, go. Go on, don't stop. Would you like to go with me? Let's go, just a little bit, you go ~ ~ ~

(Fan Wei cooperates)

Fan Wei: Yes, yes, yes ~ ~ Oh, my God!

Zhao Benshan: You go!

Gao Xiumin: Oh, my good leg is lame!

Fan Wei: What do you mean?

Zhao Benshan: Did you see that? My wife saw it. She said you were suddenly lame.

Fan Wei: Sister, why didn't you find out earlier?

Gao Xiumin: If you hadn't met him, you would have been disabled ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: It has been transferred to you ~ ~ ~

Fan Wei: Dude, what's going on? This?

Zhao Benshan: Don't worry, you twisted your leg when you were young.

Fan Wei: No, I twisted this.

Zhao Benshan: It's moving! I moved to this leg. Later, your career was very bad for you. So you are not a spoon, but a pier cutter. You always push hard on this leg, and this leg is getting heavier and heavier ~ ~ ~ Light is tiptoe walking, heavy is femoral head necrosis, and late is vegetative!

Gao Xiumin: Ha ha ha ha ha ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: What the hell?

Gao Xiumin: I said ~ ~ ~ This is my first time to watch you play ~ ~ ~ Hahaha.

Zhao Benshan: I'm sick!

Fan Wei: Brother, what medicine should I take?

Zhao Benshan: Drugs don't work!

Gao Xiumin: Don't let people take medicine during the Spring Festival. Come on!

Zhao Benshan: Look, my wife knows crutches!

Fan Wei: On crutches?

Zhao Benshan: Please sit down ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: After crutches, your legs are gradually balanced and getting better little by little. At the beginning, an old man saw my leg was sick and worried about money, so he wouldn't let me see a doctor. Finally, she was disabled ~ ~ ~

Fan Wei: What about you?

Zhao Benshan: There are steel plates in it. You can't turn back ~ ~ ~

Fan Wei: Is this a broken leg?

Gao Xiumin: Old man, this leg is good ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about? Good ~ ~ good legs. Who is on crutches?

Fan Wei: Yes.

Gao Xiumin: That turn isn't-

Zhao Benshan: Don't be fooled!

Fan Wei: Oh, sister, will you stop fooling around? This is a discussion between patients about their illness. What do you always use to match it? This is ~ ~ I see what happened to this leg ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: You don't need legs ~ ~ ~ Look ~ ~ I'll walk for you. I haven't been there before ~ ~ ~ It's over ~ ~ ~

(Zhao Benshan leaves)

Fan Wei: Oh, oh, oh, my God, oh, it's so serious.

Zhao Benshan: How many pairs of shoes have I lost? !

Gao Xiumin: Don't be blind. Didn't you get kicked out when you lost your shoes?

Zhao Benshan: Can the leg be removed? How much are your shoes?

Fan Wei: That ~ ~ ~ 220 ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: 220? Just a pair of money.

Fan Wei: Where can I buy crutches?

Gao Xiumin: Oh, big brother, don't you get it? He just wants to sell you this pair of crutches ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: What are you talking about? Get over there! What are you selling? What do I sell? Why are you like this? Wouldn't it be over if a woman picked it for him?

Fan Wei: Don't ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: Not for sale!

Zhao Benshan: Will you stop it? Turn!

Fan Wei: Ah, big brother! Oh, brother, I can't ask for it for nothing. I want to pay ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: I told you to hurry with you!

Fan Wei: OK, OK.

Zhao Benshan: Stop it ~ ~ ~

Fan Wei: Oh, big brother, big brother, that ~ ~ I only have 32 yuan in my two pockets ~ ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: Then accept it. You can have as much as you want.

Zhao Benshan: What kind of bike do you want? What kind of bike do you want?

Fan Wei: Oh, right, right, right ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: Why are you doing this?

Gao Xiumin: I didn't say I wanted a bike? You said you wanted a bike ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: I smiled. I can't control this wife. You need a bike when you meet someone.

Gao Xiumin: I didn't say I wanted a bike!

Zhao Benshan: I won't take you out in the future ~ ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: No ~ ~ ~ You can't own someone else's bike. Push it away quickly ~ ~ ~ He's lying to you!

Fan Wei: You are lying to me! How could you? I wonder why there is such a big gap between two couples living together.

Zhao Benshan: Brother, turn around!

Fan Wei: Brother, this is fate!

Zhao Benshan: Don't get excited ~ ~ ~ Go back and get well, and it will be fine in a few days ~ ~ ~

Fan Wei: OK ~ ~ ~ Big Brother.

Zhao Benshan: Relax.

Fan Wei: Hmm ~ ~ I won't say anything. I ~ ~ ~

Gao Xiumin: Are you going a little too far?

Zhao Benshan: He has to thank us.

Fan Wei: Thank you!

Zhao Benshan: Look!

(Fan Wei walks away on crutches)

Zhao Benshan: What are you staring at? Why are you so distressed? Go, change places!

Gao Xiumin: What are you going to do?

Zhao Benshan: Find someone with bad legs and feet and sell him a bike! (Zhao Benshan pushes his bike to Gao Xiumin)

Extended data:

I. Introduction to the Works

Kidnapping trilogy refers to three sketches performed by Zhao Benshan and several partners in 200 1, 2002 and 2005 CCTV Spring Festival Gala. Because these three sketches are a continuous story, they are called the abduction trilogy. 200 1 In 2002, Zhao Benshan, Fan Wei and Gao Xiumin performed Selling Kidnappers and Selling Cars. Later, Gao Xiumin had a conflict with Zhao Benshan and gave up taking part in the 2005 sketch Kung Fu, so Zhao Benshan changed to perform with his two apprentices (Cai Weili, Wang Xiaohu) and Fan Wei. Many people think that Zhao Benshan's trilogy is the most successful sketch in history.

Second, the plot introduction

In the play, Zhao Benshan plays a countryman who is good at cheating people to buy things, Gao Xiumin plays his daughter-in-law, and Fan Wei plays the unfortunate victim. The key to selling cars is a brain teaser. On the matter of buying a car, Zhao Benshan made a lot of brain teasers to fool Fan Wei. Originally, the name of the Kung Fu plan was Selling a Stretcher or Hard to Prevent, but because the name of a movie Kung Fu just released in Stephen Chow fits the meaning of a sketch very well, it was named Kung Fu.

Third, the creative background

The screenwriter Gong Kaibo once told Fan Wei a few real short stories in a pub, which Fan Wei liked very much, but the prototype characters of the stories were doctors and patients, so Gong Kaibo and Fan Wei stripped off the stories and replaced them with Zhao Benshan and Fan Wei. Later, when Zhao Benshan came to Beijing, the three men sat down to discuss it again, and decided to adapt the story into a sketch, and named it Kidnapper.

The script creation of "Kidnapping" began in the spring of 2000 and lasted for more than 8 months until the Spring Festival Evening next year. During the rehearsal of the sketch, screenwriter Gong Kaibo and screenwriter He Qingkui slept in shifts and revised the script. The rehearsal is harsh, and the screenwriter Gong Kaibo has to accept all the confused opinions.

Fourth, role introduction

1, Zhao Benshan actor? Zhao Benshan

The stage name is big fool. I heard that the old man broke his leg with a four-wheeled handlebar. He got up early and made a vice turn for others. As a result, Lao Zhang took a wheelchair directly after he was discharged from the hospital, and it was useless to turn around. To this end, he came to the street and decided to find a person with good legs and feet to kidnap him.

2. Gao Xiumin actor? Gao Xiumin

Zhao Benshan's wife, compared with her husband's liar, is kind, but Zhao Benshan gained Fan Wei's trust by intervening in the trafficking process, thus betraying her.

3. Fan Wei actor? Fan Wei

The chef with a spoon, a man with healthy legs, was cheated by Zhao Benshan, who was limping and didn't have enough money. He got on his bike, bought a crutch from Zhao Benshan, and finally said thank you.