Is it really karma to owe emotional debts?

I don't know if I should repay you, but if you hurt someone mercilessly, someone will hurt you mercilessly. My fate began one day when I was 20 years old. I used to hate blind dates. At that time, I didn't know where it came from. I want to hit anyone who mentions blind date with a stick. Then my father's friend introduced me to a man with hepatitis B in order to earn money as a matchmaker. It's a friend of my father's. I looked at it, because I was embarrassed to refute it in person. After a few words, he stopped talking. Later, I was unwilling to promise anywhere in my heart, and later I learned that he was sick. I ran away and met my first object, because my mother abandoned me when I was young, and he had no mother since childhood. I sympathize with him. He doesn't love me, but I am madly in love with him. Then he abandoned me in the street, and I almost died. When I was with him, I was always afraid that he would leave me and finally left. Then I went home, and my father died six months later. My previous blind date also died. My sister insists that I work in a restaurant, so I don't like working in a restaurant. My sister insists that restaurants can exercise people and save money. If I have to go, I will be unhappy. Later, my sister introduced me to a restaurant and met my husband. I went to apply alone that day. I don't know how to get there. I left work early. As a result, I walked for an hour and a half, tired and hungry, and waited all morning to find a job. When I come back, I'm exhausted! Later, I went to work for three days, because my husband kept looking for me and was dismissed by our manager. It happened that the deposit slip was also lost, and I had no money to eat, so I met my husband alone and stayed with him. After a month, his sister introduced me to work and worked for more than half a month. I can't sleep well at night and I have no spirit during the day. I was fired for no reason, and my unlucky life began like this. Now I met a man who fell in love with me. I don't know why I liked him at first sight, and then suddenly I hated him for a long time. Later, I fell in love with him inexplicably, and then we met for a while and fell in love! When I fell in love with him, I felt I had to be with him. I don't know why I hate sleeping with my husband, so I fell in love with him with a hug. I can't accept it myself. I hesitated for a long time and felt particularly strong about him. He is the man I am looking for. I told him several times how I felt about him. Because of my relationship with my husband, he rejected me! I know he loves me, but he thinks a lot. Knowing that it is impossible with me, he will not tell me that he loves me. I don't know why I feel this way about him. I always felt that he would not leave me. I always feel that we should not break up like this. I don't understand why he is the one who loves him, but my body and mind can't accept others. Obviously, he is not handsome and has problems, but he just likes him, thinks he is good and feels particularly happy with him. I don't feel happy, sweet, relaxed and safe when I am with others. I don't understand why I love and hate him and have so many feelings. I'm madly in love with him. Although I broke up now, I really don't know what to do in the future. I always feel that I can't lose him. Without him, I can't stand it, I can't bear it and I can't forget it. He is different from everyone I have ever known and loved. Where will our destiny go?