Joke: Taoist fortune-telling

A scholar was thirsty on the way to Beijing to catch the exam. He saw a bald woman (nun) drawing water by the well and said, Sister-in-law, can I have some water? Hearing this, the nun poured water on the ground and said, drink! For some reason, the scholar put up with humiliation and moved on. He saw a bald man (monk) and asked: Where can I find water to drink? The monk said, when you come, there should be a nun drawing water by the well. Why don't you ask her for water? The scholar told a story once. The monk said that you should call her a nun, so the scholar returned to the nun and said that the nun wanted water, and the nun turned anger into joy. She scooped a ladle of water for the scholar to drink and asked who told you to call me a nun. After drinking the water, the scholar said, that's a nun's husband in front.

"Bald donkey! How dare you rob a teacher by being original! " Full version [round]

First, the ordinary version:

The editor signed a contract with a martial arts author to write a miniature martial arts novel, which not only broke the secular ethics, but also included years of grievances between Jianghu sects. At the same time, the plot is more suspenseful and the blood is ready to go.

The next day, there were only ten words in the full text: bald donkey! How dare you rob the teacher of originality!

Second, the evolution version:

This novel requires:

1, involving three schools at the same time.

2. It should include the feud between Jianghu sects for many years and break the secular ethics.

3. At the same time, the plot is also suspenseful, and rivers of blood are ready to go. People are full of expectations for the sequel to the novel, leaving more than N suspense at the same time.

4. The shorter the better.

The next day, someone came to contribute, and the full text was only ten words:

Bald donkey, how dare you rob the teacher of his originality!

Editor's reply: "Blood Staying" has grievances and enmity, short and pithy, full of suspense, but chivalry is more than tenderness. Although they are children of Jianghu, they are tender.

On the third day, the revised draft:

Teacher, just give up the bald donkey and be original!

The editor also said: Jianghu children are full of tenderness and sentimental. But still adhere to secular ethics.

The fourth day, the third draft:

Teacher, how dare you argue with me for a bald donkey!

The editor thought twice and said: Blood spill is also ready to break the secular ethics. There are many suspense, but something is always missing. . .

Day 5, final draft:

Monk: "Teacher, you are a monk!" "

Taoist priest: "Bald donkey, how dare you rob the teacher of being original!" "

Teacher: "Monks and Taoists can go together. I'm in a hurry. "

Editor excited ing, English: a perfect masterpiece that has never been seen before. It is difficult to sort out sectarian grievances for many years, and blood shed is ready to go; Entangled chivalrous tenderness not only breaks the secular ethics, but also shows the heroic spirit of the children in the Jianghu. Great system! !

Third, the power enhanced version:

Deep in the palace bedroom, three figures, two men and one woman, jumped up and down, and then jumped into a clearing at the same time. The man glared at the dust in his hand and scolded, "Bald donkey! Don't you dare How dare you rob a teacher by being original! " The woman quickly cried, "Brother! You have been in the palace for many years, and we can't be husband and wife at all. Why do you have to push hard! " As he spoke, he hugged the man around him tightly: "I only love him! I only have him in my heart! " The man gently broke the woman's hand, stepped forward and whispered, "Daughter! Step back. Look, I killed this smelly Taoist today! To report the hate of taking a wife many years ago! " Seeing two beloved people beating each other to death, the woman sighed helplessly: "You two fought for each other. Nine years ago, I had my grandfather's own flesh and blood! The current little emperor also. My body belongs only to him, so go ... "At this moment, behind a stone lion, a well-dressed teenager flashed out and sighed," Empress Dowager, I am a man with broken sleeves and have a good relationship with the monk's grandfather ... "Then I glanced at the Taoist with the corner of my eye and bowed my head. Hearing this, the man stood for a long time with dust in his hand, and said sadly, the monk didn't seem to hear what the Taoist priest said. He asked the woman thoughtfully, daughter, did you say that your majesty married his father nine years ago? Is he dead or alive now? "Ha ha ha ha" With deafening laughter, a ragged Lama descended from the sky. "Bald donkey, don't revenge his wife, the old man how willing to go to the west? ! ! ! "

Fourth, a comprehensive interpretation of the analytical version:

Deep in the palace bedroom, three figures, two men and one woman, jumped up and down, and then jumped into a clearing at the same time. The man glared at the dust in his hand and scolded, "Bald donkey! Don't you dare How dare you rob a teacher by being original! " The woman quickly cried, "Brother! You have been in the palace for many years, and we can't be husband and wife at all. Why do you have to push hard! " As he spoke, he hugged the man around him tightly: "I only love him! I only have him in my heart! " The man gently broke the woman's hand, stepped forward and whispered, "Daughter! Step back. Look, I killed this smelly Taoist today! To report the hate of taking a wife many years ago! "

-Interpretation: This passage is very informative, and the following points can be simply drawn: First, the Taoist priest and the monk are rivals in love, and both of them fall in love with the teacher; Second, Taoist priests and teachers are brothers and sisters; Third, monks and teachers are father and daughter; Fourth, the Taoist robbed the monk's wife. The above is a simple inference, which is not difficult to understand literally, but combining the second and third points, it can be concluded that monks and Taoist priests are actually father-son relationships, and the monk's wife is the Taoist priest's mother and teacher. At that time, the Taoist stole his mother from his father, so now the monk hates his guts. Now the Taoist falls in love with his school sister, and the school sister just falls in love with his father, the monk.

Seeing two beloved people beating each other to death, the woman sighed helplessly: "You two fought for each other. Nine years ago, I had my grandfather's own flesh and blood! The current little emperor also. My body belongs only to him, so go ... "At this moment, behind a stone lion, a well-dressed teenager flashed out and sighed," Empress Dowager, I am a man with broken sleeves and have a good relationship with the monk's grandfather ... "Then I glanced at the Taoist with the corner of my eye and bowed my head. Hearing this, the man stood for a long time with dust in his hand, and said sadly, the monk didn't seem to hear what the Taoist priest said. He asked the woman thoughtfully, daughter, did you say that your majesty married his father nine years ago? Is he dead or alive now?

-Interpretation: With the previous analysis, this paragraph is not difficult to understand. Although the teacher is currently in love with the monk's father, a few years ago, he cheated on his grandfather (also the monk's grandfather), that is, the monk's father. As a result, he gave birth to a little emperor, whose arm was broken, and his lover was the monk's grandfather (precisely, the relationship between the little emperor and the Taoist uncle was not normal, just because the monk was afraid of his jealousy and dared not announce it in his mouth. He can only flirt, and the meat in the mouth of the Taoist priest is a teacher on the surface, but actually refers to the little emperor. Only the Taoist priest and the little emperor can understand the true meaning of this statement. This understanding also corresponds to why the Taoist priest entered the palace from the palace to be an official, in fact, for the little emperor, not for the teacher! As for the fight between the monk and the Taoist at the beginning of the novel, I think it should be started by the monk in order to avenge the theft of his wife, while the Taoist rebuked the monk for robbing the teacher mostly because he had unfinished grievances with the teacher to cover up the fact that he and the little emperor had broken their arms.

"Ha ha ha ha" With deafening laughter, a ragged Lama descended from the sky. "Bald donkey, don't revenge his wife, the old man how willing to go to the west? ! ! ! "

-Interpretation: At this time, the result is already obvious. Lama and monk are father and son, and the monk robbed Lama's wife, that is, his mother. The above is not the final result. If the above results are correct, there will be two characters in the dialogue in the novel, one is the wife of a monk and the other is the wife of a Lama, but all the characters involved in this paper actually exist! ! ! The final result is-the teacher is the wife of the monk and the wife of the Lama! ! ! The complete analysis is as follows: Taoist priests and teachers are sons and daughters of monks, and teachers and monk LL (the woman who gave birth to Taoist priests and teachers) do not participate in the dialogue, that is to say, the wife in monk's mouth is not the teacher's mother, but the teacher himself), at the same time, the monk is the son of Lama, and the granddaughter of Lama and teacher is LL (the wife in Lama's mouth is also the teacher himself, not the mother of monk). The Taoist priest and the teacher are brother and sister LL (the wife of the Taoist priest is also the teacher himself), so the Lama, the monk and the Taoist priest regard a woman as his wife at the same time, so both the Taoist priest and Shang think that the other party has robbed his wife, and the Lama thinks that the monk has robbed his wife. Lama and his granddaughter LL gave birth to a little emperor, and the Taoist priest didn't get a teacher, so he fell in love with the little emperor, so he did not hesitate to go to the palace and become a eunuch (No.0 Taoist priest, Little Emperor 1, so the Taoist priest's marriage from the palace didn't affect their relationship) to get close to the little emperor, but the little emperor fell in love with the monk at the same time. After coming out of Shishi, he admitted his relationship with the monk, but he didn't want to disclose his relationship with the Taoist, so they used code words.

Note: LL in this article is short for incest.

Fifth, the embarrassing version:

Version 1 love triangle: thief road! Don't you dare compete with an old woman for a teacher.

Version 2 Brokeback Mountain: Thief, how dare you rob the abbot from the Taoist priest!

Version 3 Brokeback Mountain has an affair: Bald donkey, how dare you rob the poor!

Version 4 faithful brokeback mountain: dead thief ni. Don't destroy the relationship between Lao Na and Dao Ye!

Version 5: I have been in love for a long time: brother, just follow the old woman.

Version 60,000 gods are all laws: thief Ni! How dare you rob the Taoist master! !

Version 7 Coherence: Teacher, just follow the old woman ... The teacher will spare the old woman ~ ~