Humorous copy

1. After the speech contest, the class teacher concluded: When we speak, the language should be concise and artistic. Mr. Lin Yutang said: A wonderful speech should be like a mini skirt worn by girls, the shorter the better. A student raised his hand and asked, what if he doesn't talk? The head teacher snapped, at an early age, you are not a rogue!

2. In Chinese class, teacher: Xiao Ming, please think that if every drop of water can represent a blessing, then I will send you an ocean to do a sentence imitation exercise! Xiaoming: If each flower represents a blessing, I will send you a wreath! In an instant, the whole class is sensational! Teacher: Go, go, go now!

Today, after school, I bought an ice cream and ate it on the bus home. My little brother next to me watched me eat ice cream. The younger brother turned to pull his mother's clothes and said, Mom, I want to eat ice cream, too. Then I heard my mother say and replied, son, stop it. I want to eat, too

4. Mineral water fell in love with instant noodles, and summoned up the courage to confess to her, but was ruthlessly rejected. Mineral water Q: Why? Instant noodles disdain to say: cut, just you? I'm not hot at all, and you still want to hit on me!

Xiao Ming walked into the drugstore and asked the boss, boss, do you have any medicine for hiccups? The boss said: Yes. So he took out two medicines for the man to choose from. While he was picking them, the boss shouted loudly, which made Xiao Ming tremble all over, and all the medicines fell to the ground. The customer said angrily, you are sick! The boss said with a smile, how about it? It scares me. The customer was even more angry: it was my mother who burped!

6. My girlfriend said she wanted to lose weight and asked me to supervise. On the first day, I made braised pork ribs. The next day, I cooked chicken stew. On the third day, I cooked braised fish. Today, I bought a big crab. Finally, my girlfriend beat me up and began to gobble up. Just kidding, lose weight. If you lose weight, your seven brothers can leave me alone. ...

7. I went to the fortune teller yesterday and calculated it. The master said I could live to be 100 years old, or even longer. After all, I ride a battery car home, and I am very happy. No matter what the traffic lights are, life is long and I am so capricious.

8. I dyed my hair dark chestnut. The first day, my husband didn't find it. The next day, my husband still couldn't find it ... On the fifth day, my husband finally found it and stared at my hair for a long time. I proudly asked: How? Husband said: Is it time to wash your hair?

9. A man died of drinking milk and went to heaven. The man in the sky asked, young man, how did you die so young? The young man replied: I died of drinking milk. The man in the sky asked again: Why is Milk so upset now? What brand of milk are you drinking, young man? The young man replied: No, I don't know what happened when I was drinking milk. The cow suddenly sat down.

10. The teacher said: Some students got 890 points, which must be dry goods. They took the test themselves, and some students must be dry goods if they get a score of 20. Xiao Ming stood up and said, teacher, you mean that my zero point is not dry goods!

1 1. I took my wife to get a perm, and she asked me what kind of perm I wanted. I pointed to a beautiful woman outside the store and burned like that. The barber nodded. After ironing, I saw my wife become the golden lion king and asked the barber: Is it far from here? The barber went out and walked to the stone lion next to the beautiful woman: almost ... inseparable ...

12. I found an injured turtle in a seaside resort and fed it for a few days. When it recovered, I decided to let it go. It seems reluctant to part with me. Every time I let it go, it always runs towards me with its back to the sea. An uncle came to comfort me: Young man, why are you crying? You are just a freshwater turtle. ...

13. That year, my sister went swimming with her best friend. Brother lifeguard is very handsome. Her best friend pretended to drown and asked the lifeguard brother to save her. Not to be outdone, my sister pretended to drown. Brother lifeguard decisively saved my sister first. Later, my sister was moved to ask my brother why he saved her first, and whether she was more beautiful. The little brother said no, mainly because he was afraid that his sister would choke and give her artificial respiration ... so save my sister first.

14. Go to the barbecue with my brother. My brother took me into the mountain and said that we should stay away from the hustle and bustle of the city and let the original ingredients emit the most charming fragrance. I'm reading a book to catch mosquitoes, and my brother is roasting there. After a while, my brother asked me if I could climb a tree. Did I say climb the trunk? My brother: climb up and see if there is a signal. Order takeout when there is a signal. It's just burnt ...

15. Daughter-in-law asked her son if he was good, and his son was watching TV, perfunctorily saying that she was good. The daughter-in-law was unwilling and asked her where she was good. The son said: good, good, cherish. My daughter-in-law left contentedly. After watching the pig raising program on TV, I can't help but admire my son for really learning to use it now!