I really can't live any longer. I don't want to do any work, so I have to be a beggar. I really want to kill myself.

You should let yourself know that you are happy, because you have sound limbs, but your mind has some wrong ideas. You will often see some blind people telling fortune in the hot sun. Their greatest wish is to see and do many other jobs to make a living. You will also see some beggars crawling on the ground with disabled legs. Their greatest wish is not to have too much wealth, but to have healthy limbs and be able to do some work to support themselves. I don't think you want to compete with them for jobs! Love life, life is enriched by work and study. Doing nothing and fooling around will only make you depressed. You should try some jobs, even if the pay is not high, you will feel full and happy while enjoying the fruits of your labor.