Tell a joke about Guan Yu (but don't insult him)

Yan Liang: "Come to Tong Ming!"

Guan Yu: "..."

"What? Speak louder! I can't hear you! " Yan Liang said and took a few steps forward.

Guan Yu: "..."

"Go ahead! Still can't hear clearly! " Yan Liang said, and leaned forward.

Guan Yu: "Well! It is just enough now. " He dropped his sword and beheaded Yan Liang and the horse.

A month later, Wen Chou said, "Who's coming?"

Guan Yu said mysteriously, "Do you know how Yan Liang died?"

Wen Chou: "Oh? Don't know. "

Guan Yu: "Come here and I'll tell you."

Wen Chou leaned in obediently, craned his neck and asked, "How did he die?"

"That's how it died!" Guan Yu said that with a wave of his Qinglong broadsword, he only heard a click, and the world was at peace!

2, warm wine chop Hua Xiong

Cao Cao: "It's good to reach out. This wine is still warm. "

Guan Yu: "Shit! I just don't think this wine is too hot. I cut one. This wine is not cold yet. Forget it. Let's go out and cut another one. " It turns out that Guan Yu likes iced drinks. )

3. Miss Guan Yu

Cao Cao's Tongguan steed was so fast that he had to abandon his robe and be defeated, and he couldn't help sighing in the big tent.

Zhang Liao: "Why is the Prime Minister sighing?"

"hey!" Cao Cao: "I'm thinking, if only Guan Yu were still under my command."

"Yes!" Zhang Liao nodded and said, "If there is a cloud here, Ma Chao should cut it."

"That's not what I meant." Cao Cao only brushed his beard halfway and said, "Today Ma Chao shouted,' Cao Cao has a beard, and Cao Cao has a beard'. If Guan Yu were here ... his beard is much longer than mine, do I still need it to be so miserable? "

4. Go to the meeting alone

Lu Su gave a banquet in honor of Guan Yu, but Guan Yunchang didn't bring military forces to the meeting, so he made three rounds of drinking.

Lu Su: "Guan, now Jingzhou ..."

Guan Yu: "No ... no problem! Just a few ... a few cities, right? I am always absent ... a word. "

"Thank you very much! This little thing is not a tribute! " Lu Su hurriedly put a red envelope in Guan Yu's pocket and personally put Guan Yu on the boat before leaving.

A few days later, Jingzhou.

Lu Su: "Hou Jun, didn't you promise to return Jingzhou last time? How can you break your word! "

Guan Yu: "Shit! Do you believe what I said when I was drunk? " Remember not to talk about important things on the wine table.

Guan Yu carried the head of the enemy general into the account. "Eldest brother! Guan will win the flag and return. "

Liu Bei: "Oh, really, I will give you a credit." (Uh-oh, uh-oh)

Zhang Fei: "Ha ~! Congratulations, second brother. However, the rice is gone. . . "(pop)

Guan Yu: ". . . . . . "

Hulao Pass after the first world war. . .

Liu Bei: "Hey? Recently, the speed of the second brother is getting faster and faster. "

Zhang Fei: "Yes, the wine is still warm."

Guan Yu (uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh)