Humorous jokes

Young people should know how to behave in advance when they come out to hang out. Whoever gets in your way, be a good person first. Below I bring you 2022 humorous jokes, welcome to read!

1 1 I prepared a bucket of water and half a bucket of ice, put the camera away, and drank some wine to cheer me up. After everything is ready, the next thing I have to do is to help my sleeping wife complete the ice bucket challenge.

2. When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to have one when I grew up. After 20 years, my dream has finally come true. Anyway, it's time to cook for my wife.

3. Wei Zi: "Swallow, what did I do wrong? Why doesn't Erkang want to see me? "

Erkang said to Yongqi not far away: "You see, I said she had a brain problem. What do you say to a bird all day? "

I am very busy now, and finally have time to eat box lunch. I think I have chicken legs and fish here, but the assistant sister only has vegetables. Thinking of all she had done for me, I couldn't help feeling a little guilty, so I quickly changed places to eat.

Walking in the street, I fainted with excitement when I saw a stack of hundred-dollar bills on the ground. When I woke up, I saw that the money was still there, and I fainted with excitement.

I have known how to save electricity since I was a child. I don't even want to turn on the light when I do my homework at night. But open the refrigerator door and study under the light of the fresh-keeping room.

Humorous joke 2 1, fearing that his mother would fall out of bed while sleeping, the dutiful son insisted on letting his mother sleep on the floor and lying on a dangerous bed himself.

2. The old man didn't eat or drink for six days. On his deathbed, he wrote on the paper: Maximum standby time 125 hours.

A refugee reached out his thin hand and tugged at my skirt trembling, saying that he had not eaten for half an hour.

It is said that this symbol looks like the wind is blowing, so I will send this symbol more often to blow the wind for everyone.

The money in the temple merit box disappeared, and everyone knelt down and said that the Buddha appeared.

The forensic doctor explained that the victim ate himself and it was difficult to solve the case without the body.

7. After eating Mapo tofu, the dean was chopped by Mapo for more than twenty knives on the spot.

8. After washing my hands carefully, I can safely wipe my ass with my hands.

On the eleventh day of falling into the tiger cage, he finally learned the art of change and turned into a pile of shit.

3 1. Foreign reporters heard that a master in China once went out to solve the problems of countless people. Reporter: What's your name?

Master: Amitabha, the old name of Wisdom.

The reporter was shocked: Does the master also know English?

The master smiled: I was crazy about English before I became a monk.

2. Qin Shihuang: "Although I am the emperor, so many wives in the three palaces and six hospitals were actually taken by concubines. They are not willing at all, alas! "

Taizong said, "I am also."

Zhu Yuanzhang: "Mine, too."

Gan Long: "Mine, too."

Wang Sicong: "Hehe!"

The mermaid begged the witch to let her stay with the prince. The witch gave her a bottle of liquid medicine and said, "Drinking this will help you, but you may become foam."

The mermaid drank it without hesitation. When she opened her eyes, there were many bubbles around, but she didn't turn into bubbles herself.

At this time, the prince was looking at her warmly and shouted, "Waiter, please add more sauerkraut, thank you!" " "

Humorous joke 4 1, a: "You are a very curious person"

B: "Why do you say that?"

A: "Look, you asked again".

2. There used to be a classmate named Han Xiao. Later, I hurt my leg playing football and limped. Later, he got an absolutely resounding nickname: smile half a step.

3. Several friends fought the landlord together, and one buddy lost. As a result, he was furious and said, if people are unlucky, they can shit their teeth!

My classmate complained to me on QQ that her five-month-old child is picky about food. I asked her: choose the left one or the right one. ......

5. A: "What is seven divided by two?" B: "It is equal to your character, no three no four!"

6. Which is stupid, the star, the moon or the sun? Stars, because "the stars in the sky can't talk".

7. Q: Why is Chang 'e fickle? Because her name is change.

8. A goddess sent a Weibo: "The three most important words for boys are never that Gao Shuai has money, but that he is self-motivated!"

Then she deleted all the male friends who transferred to Weibo.

5 1, the company is recruiting a position, and a person has applied.

Boss: "We need a responsible person for this job."

Applicant: "I am the one you want. When I used to work, every time something went wrong, others would say it was my responsibility! "

2. "Xiao Li, I heard that you use the bonus check as a bookmark and are indifferent to fame and fortune! Worth learning! "

"hmm? I read about it in a book? That book, Emma. I look crazy! "

3. Today, when I went to work, I came in and saw a punching machine posted: Being late will ruin my life, leaving early will make me poor for three generations, neither of which will make Gao Fushuai. -the company is also trying to make everyone work hard.

In the restaurant, two colleagues engaged in auto repair are chatting. One of them said, "The auto repair industry is so fucking dirty, there is oil everywhere."

The other went on to say, "Yes, you always bring oil flowers when you pee."

5. I went to work in the morning. Shortly after sitting, a beautiful colleague came up to me and casually said, Good morning, did you have breakfast?

She replied: Why did you invite me to breakfast?

I pretended to be serious and replied, if I asked you if you slept last night, do you think I would invite you to sleep?

She left with a black face!

6 1, Chunyu sang on the river: "Ding-dong, Ding-dong ..." The ice on the river melted, and the fish heard Xiaoyu's sweet song and happily performed a forward roll for Xiaoyu.

2. Send you a beautiful mood tree, give her sincere nourishment, caring temperature, free air, planted in your heart, and give you happiness, joy and joy every year!

3. In life, there is one person worth remembering, and that is fate; There is a person who misses himself very much and is very happy. The missed years bloom colorful flowers in loneliness, but they are barren in the spring and summer of reincarnation. I like to hold you tight at that moment, just like I got the whole world, you know? Inadvertently, your smile became the whole world.

4. Spend every day in happiness and move forward in happiness. Love others and cherish your family. Treat your friends and be honest with her. Face the society sincerely. Face life with tolerance. Treat people with humility. Keep a low profile. Don't look at people with lofty eyes, and don't despise others. Be a man. We must be confident, self-respecting, self-loving and self-reliant. It is better to rely on yourself than others. Cherish friendship, love and affection. Cherish the good times of life. Every day passes, we lose one day in this world. Love your neighbor as yourself, and remember never to hurt others. Don't leave regrets in the world, don't keep them in your heart. To be a person with conscience, there is no regret when you are alive. Be a kind person and be calm when you are alive. Cherish life and cherish time. Cherish every moment of life.

As long as I'm with you, I don't care what the cost is.

6. That night, I dreamed of the moment of parting. I stare at you and tell you gently that I hope I don't cry when I turn around. But my eyes are blurred. I choked back my heartache and suddenly turned around. A tear fell on my hand. We broke up and agreed not to cry.

7. Let me accompany you to drift in the sea, just to be an oar in your hand. No matter how thick the storm is, you will have me by your side.

8. I wish you happiness every day-happy birthday!

9. The distance is neither too long nor too short. What you need is to devote yourself to the whole process. From beginning to end, you are trying your best. At this moment, you are at the most beautiful moment. No matter how confident you are to win, as long as you run down, you are a hero.

10, are you lonely? If so, go downstairs and buy a rope and stick, tie the rope to the stick, and wave the stick on the roof when it is windy. What do people want to ask you? Just say: I have a seizure.

1 1, bright moon, flashing, hanging in the sky; Missing, a little bit, connected into a line; Memories, scene after scene, are just around the corner; Hanging, wisp by wisp, hidden in my heart; I hope, bit by bit, a spring; Luck, drop by drop, never decreases; Contact, season after season, will not be idle; Mid-Autumn Festival, year after year, looking forward to reunion; May you be sweeter than honey every moment.

12, when you can't help crying, keep your eyes open and don't blink! You will see the whole process of the world from clear to fuzzy, and your heart will become clear at the moment of tear drops. Salt. Destined to melt, perhaps in the form of tears.

13, the moment the pupa breaks out of the cocoon, it is the pain of tearing off a layer of skin. Many butterflies died of pain at the moment they broke out of their cocoons.

14, the sunshine is beautiful because of the comfort of friends; The stars are beautiful because friends decorate them; The moon is beautiful, because friendship is too precious. At this moment, let the blessing of SMS enter your heart. May you be safe!

15, "A touching strawberry, you really love fresh fruit; You are deeply in love with crunchy nuts; With a cup of plain matcha, you will fall in love with this elegance ... At this moment, you will understand that the sweetness of ice cream and the fragrance of tea can be combined so perfectly. " "Matcha" is like a beautiful green memory. In all the past days, "Matcha" ice cream has given people an indelible and elegant sweetness. Haagen-Dazs advertising language can be described as straightforward, making people unable to escape the temptation.

16, today is the birthday of the motherland. I said happy birthday to her. Today is a festival for you and me. I hope you can be happy, because you are happy, I am happy, you are happy, so I am happy.

17, like a person, will be very happy together; Love a person, together will be inexplicably lost. Like a person, it is always joy; If you love someone, you will often cry. If you like someone, you will smile when you think of him. Love a person, when you think of him, you will look at the sky blankly. Like a person, is to see his advantages; To love someone is to tolerate his shortcomings. -like, is a kind of mood; Love is an emotion.

18, what does a love need? If you could only fill in five, four, ..... among many options, what would you choose? What's the first thing? What I value is that when a boy is with me, can two people open their hearts and be honest with each other, face each other and make progress together.

19, I can't eat in the morning because I miss you; I can't eat at noon because I miss you more; I can't eat at night because I miss you crazily; I can't sleep at night because ... I'm hungry.

20. There are always people around you. Look at the way she is happy all day. She really looks like a child. Everyone envies her. In fact, where do you know: one second she was crying sadly, and the next she was smiling brightly. In fact, they can't be alone. In the dead of night, they always sit by the window and meditate on the frustration in the night sky. They are like sunflowers, always shining brightly on the front of the sun, but hiding sadness on the back that can't shine.

2 1, pistachio, you are happy when you eat it, and you are happier when you eat it. -Pistachio ads

22. I am glad to recall the days with you, although it was short. It's over now. It was really fast.

23. In my life, many people have given me knowledge and filled my mind with the source of wisdom. There are many people who give me happiness and make me grow up healthily. Once again, I sincerely ask everyone around me to be happy every day and everything goes well!

24. Life should be self-encouragement, and learning needs persistence. From this moment on, I am still me, but in a different mood. No matter what the future road is, I will silently encourage myself, stick to it and wait for the beauty of the cocoon.

25. When I break up with you, I want to be a tear in your eyes. When you call me, let me disappear on your lips.

26, all words are pale and powerless, I choose to wait for your return in silence! Maybe God can stop this moment, and I can hold your hand again …

27. At the moment of holding hands, I told myself that "love is eternal, love is persistence, and I don't give up". Today, I want to tell you that "meeting you is lucky, falling in love with you is sweet, and being loved by you is happiness".

28. From this moment on, you will be different.

29. Love should not be rekindled. Once rekindled, those good memories of the past will go up in smoke. If we hadn't been reunited, maybe I? Use his deep thoughts until the body rots; However, at this moment, I hate him. All the good days are gone forever.

30. Life, what a sacred word. From the moment I was born, I really enjoyed the happiness she brought me: my father's pain is happiness, my mother's pet is happiness, my friend's concern is happiness, and my teacher's teaching is happiness. Even if it is a piece of cake in poverty, a appreciate each other's eyes in trouble are a thousand pounds of happiness!

7 1. There are two new people in heaven. One is wearing only underwear, and the other is a skeleton.

Out of curiosity, God himself received them both and asked the man who was wearing underwear alone: Why are you naked?

I'm a gambler, and all I lose is underwear!

God asked the skeleton again: How did you become like this, worse than him?

The skeleton replied: my god, I am a stockholder, and all the meat has been cut off.

I have been an intern in the company for half a year. One * * * We three interns, and the other two left one after another.

I have nothing to do recently. I joked with the department manager and said, "I have no task here. Why don't you leave me?"

The manager replied, "No, there are no temporary workers. What if something happens? "

3. Gan Long asked Liu Yong, "Where is the national silver?"

Liu Yong replied, "I fell into the river."

Gan Long asked again, "Why not fish?"

Liu Yong replied: "The river is deep (small Shenyang)!"

The king came to inspect and the local tribal leaders held a grand banquet to welcome him.

At the banquet, the king asked, "What will you do if the wolf comes?"

The leader said, "We welcome you, Your Majesty! Because a wolf only needs one lamb at a time, we don't need to receive it; A king wants 30 fat sheep at a time, which is very troublesome to put away. "

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