Ziwei is very comfortable in water.

Seeing the sex and love of female workers in pain and ignorance.

That night, 25-year-old Dongdong was lying in bed, and a terrible scene he saw in his hometown many years ago flashed through his mind. This association is inappropriate, because she is about to experience the first sexual relationship in her life, shy and nervous, and she is determined to entrust her sincere boyfriend in the bathroom. But she can't help thinking, what will happen next? Is it the same as what I saw many years ago? That year, she just graduated from junior high school. One night, she was walking alone on the road and saw four boys riding motorcycles pulling three girls into the alley. Those are three girls from her village. The girls struggled and shouted. She rushed to the police station to call the police. The police didn't believe her and talked for a long time before leaving with her. When they arrived, four boys left on motorcycles. In the alley, three naked girls were lying on the ground, crying. The scene was clearly seen in Dongdong. I hate it. And scared. This is her first understanding of sex.

Dongdong has been working in Shenzhen for seven years from his hometown. She was at the hotel with her boyfriend that night. She was frightened by her bleeding and went to see a doctor the next day. The doctor found that excessive tension caused her to have short-term abdominal pain similar to dysmenorrhea, and because she didn't understand it, she didn't take any contraceptive measures. It's not like she hasn't seen condoms before. They distributed it in the factory, but as soon as the workers opened it, she thought, Oh, my God, nothing, so she left quickly. Workers engage in activities on holidays, and those who get married can get condoms. When she looked at it, she said, Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed to bring this thing here. However, Xiao Fen, a post-95 female worker who also works deeply, represents another attitude towards sex: sex, like eating and sleeping, is a normal need of people, and many people agree with this statement. Li Mei, who is ten years older than her, is married and has children. Her husband is in a different place. She lives in a girl's dormitory and sometimes masturbates secretly to satisfy her sexual needs. However, they also have similar shame and fear as winter and winter, but no one asks about the hidden pain. 200 1 A survey on the reproductive health status and needs of young migrant women workers in China, funded by the World Health Organization, shows that most women workers lack correct sexual knowledge. By 20 1 1, a new study on the same topic was published in an academic journal under the British BMC. The survey focused on 5 156 female workers in three factories in Shenzhen and Guangzhou, but it was found that although ten years had passed, most of them still did not have enough sexual knowledge. Women workers are not asexual working machines. When more and more OEM companies attract rural girls aged 17 or 18 to urban factories year after year, who has seen their sex and love? After going to the hospital in winter and winter, I am afraid that my boyfriend will ask for sex again. The first experience made her feel that every one-time relationship would be very painful. If possible, I want to be a test-tube baby, two at a time, and I must have no sexual pain. She figured that the other person was an only child and was sure to have a baby, so she planned to do so. Her understanding of sex is really ridiculous to some people who have received honesty education, which is related to the small family environment. My family is more feudal. If I tell my family about sex or something, my mother will definitely scold me. Before arriving in Shenzhen, all her clothes were around her neck, and most of the time she wore a white shirt and trousers. My mother and aunt, they all told me to dress like that. If you don't dress properly, they will say you. What do you think you are wearing? They will also say which girl is not serious in front of us. She doesn't even know that menstruation comes from the same channel as the baby, and no one has ever told her about contraception. What erotic novel, porn, she hasn't seen it. Why does a girl want to see these? She said. She talked about a boyfriend before, for three years, just holding hands. She felt in her heart that she would either have sex with someone else again or not. Until this year passed, several female workers who were close to her had boyfriends one after another and lived with them, and they came to persuade her. A friend said to her, try it, it's not as terrible as you think. Another friend said: if you really; That; Maybe the relationship will be better. Another friend said, What will you do if you go on like this and become an old maid? At least hurry up when it is still young. It's open now. Not as old as before. After talking a lot, she met a new boyfriend she liked and finally decided to give it a try. This boyfriend has become the most important way for her to know about sexual knowledge. Even boys themselves don't know how much sexual knowledge they have. Like winter and winter, many young women workers get sexual knowledge from men, and so do Xiao Fan and Li Mei. But the difference is that both Xiao fen and Li mei are forced to know about sex because they were sexually assaulted in childhood.

Speaking of this childhood experience, Xiao fen has been relieved. She was married once and told her ex-husband the truth before marriage. He said he didn't mind, which made her deeply moved and finally decided to marry him. Unfortunately, he finally got divorced because of the debt crisis. When she was seven or eight years old, she lived with her aunt, and a big brother in the same village sexually assaulted her. At that time, she had no concept of sex. She just watched TV and said that holding hands with boys would get pregnant, so she was particularly worried. A few months later, my mother who moved to a neighboring village finally came to pick her up, ending her nightmare. She said with a wry smile: I think if my mother doesn't change my environment, I may be pregnant at the age of twelve or thirteen, as the news said. Up to now, neither her aunt nor her mother knew about the sexual assault, and she never said it. I want to tell them that they can't be sad for life. However, the lack of sex education kept her from working until she was seventeen or eighteen, fearing that she would get pregnant because of her childhood experience. She didn't understand what was going on until she took a physiology class organized by a female worker in Shenzhen. But new worries have come again. I'm afraid this is not a virgin. What should I do? I can't find true love At that time, she happened to have a crush on a boy, so she asked him obliquely: What if your girlfriend is not good? As a result, the other party said without thinking: then divide it. Hearing this, Xiao fen no longer has any illusions about the boy. She also talked with her colleagues about the virgin complex and found that the mainstream view is still that if she is not a virgin, she may not get married. Most people still think virgins are more important. But when it comes to marriage, she doesn't want to hide it. Sexual assault is a knot in her heart. She thinks the other party should know. If the other person cares, let's break up. But Li Mei, who has been married for eight years, never mentioned her previous painful experience to her husband. Her sexual enlightenment came from a kidnapping of fear and fear. After graduating from junior high school, before going out to work, she met a man in his twenties in his hometown. The other party threatened her with her father's years of domestic violence, saying that she would be killed sooner or later if she stayed at home and took her away from her hometown. She left with nothing, not even her ID card. On the way, the other party lied to her that there was no car at night, so they took her to the hotel, forced her to have sex, and took her all the way to Shandong and Henan. On the way, she found herself pregnant. After four months of pregnancy, he took me back to my hometown. I feel bored. His relatives scolded me when they saw that I didn't call anyone, and put my head in the water, which almost drowned me. Li Mei was in tears. Finally, her family finally found her. She took medicine to induce abortion in a small clinic run by her relatives, and that man has been in into thin air since then. This past event has since become a secret in Li Mei's heart. After working in Shenzhen, she didn't like her husband whom she met on blind date, and she didn't hate him very much. She didn't see her face clearly, so the family made a decision and got a marriage certificate. My husband doesn't know yet He can't accept it. Li Mei's face darkened. She said it was better not to let him know about these things. My husband works as a construction worker in the northern city. I have been married in a different place, and I meet once or twice a year, and my feelings are indifferent. In this way, after seven or eight years. It can't be said that Li Mei and her husband have been separated for many years because of their work. They spent the longest time together, only Li Mei resigned to look for him for three months. They already have an eldest daughter, and the family always wants her to have a second child and grandchildren. Her husband's sister said, let her stop her work and salary, follow her husband, live a life above husband and wife, and get pregnant early. Li Mei didn't like it in her heart, but she didn't say anything. At that time, the drug leaked from the child for four months, which made her a little afraid of getting pregnant. It's not easy to have the first child. Sex, as if just for fertility. However, what she really wants from sex has never been asked, and no one has ever taken the initiative to mention it. Even if there is a need in my heart, I don't take the initiative. She said. Every one-time relationship between her and her husband so far is her husband's request. Sometimes when she refuses, her husband will be very angry and won't let her make any noise. But her real feeling is: I have never got pleasure from my husband. She didn't say it, and she didn't know how the other party would react. The point is, what can I say? The specific feeling is that every time she feels, her husband has stopped. He has no foreplay at all, and he doesn't think it is necessary. She said she didn't like communicating with him. Even before and after making out, you sleep yours and I sleep mine. It seems that the only intersection between him and me is lying next to someone. Li Mei knows that she is not satisfied with this kind of sex life. In the face of similar situations, Xiao fen's method is to tell her own needs and tell each other. For example, this time he is more aggressive and rude, and I will tell him afterwards, be gentle. Then next time he will slow down and don't push so hard. Facts have proved that her talk is effective. However, she also understands that this practice is actually rare among female workers. A bunch of girls are always chatting together, and only when they play dirty jokes will they have anything to do with sex. The biggest statement is: you are unmarried and older. How do you solve your personal problems? Finally, this is always a joke, and that's the end. Girls always naturally discuss menstruation and dysmenorrhea together, but once the sexual relationship is discussed, Xiao Fan said that it is basically not public. Things like that, they will go to Baidu. Of course, she also knows whether Baidu is true or not, but they would rather believe it than ask. Because this kind of thing is not necessarily public, this is the most crucial thing.

The picture is from the Internet by JennyYu.

Dongdong is the kind of girl Xiao Fen said. She also has some married women workers in the factory, but everyone never talks about sex, family, children and mother-in-law. She evaded these questions herself. Dare not say. Even parents are afraid to say it, and sometimes my sister is afraid to say it, because it feels good to say it; That; . Even worse than those young workers Xiao fen met, even Baidu won't check in winter and winter. Although the first time in after making love, she was very worried about whether it would hurt every time she had sex, so far she has not looked up or asked this question online, nor has she asked anyone in reality. Sex, for her, is a very shameful thing, not only ashamed to talk about it, but also ashamed to check and see it in private. She is also afraid of getting pregnant before marriage. In her first year in Shenzhen, she jumped off the building on the first day she entered the factory. A girl was one or two meters in front of her. Bang, she fell from the fifth floor. The reason for jumping off a building is that the girl was pregnant before marriage and her boyfriend ran away and left her. But out of shame, Dongdong never asked people how to use contraception, only a vague concept. This kind of thing, where not bashful to ask? Sexual needs, they solved the most shameful winter and winter, and they are still worried about the possible one-time invitation of their boyfriends. It's not that she doesn't want to, but she's afraid of pain and pregnancy. She's just embarrassed to buy condoms, let alone let her boyfriend prepare condoms. It's hard to be a woman, she thought. But Xiao fen said that after getting along with boys, she found these things normal. Not that kind, especially shy, not guilty, not shameful. She said. Even when she was sexually assaulted as a child, she was able to overcome the shadow and face her own desires. I have never felt that making love is a particularly disgusting thing. After the divorce, she moved back to the factory dormitory with eight female workers. For a time, she loved reading pornographic cartoons on the Internet. It's just that there are men and women there. I don't know why. Li Mei, who lives in a dormitory with her husband, also hides under the covers and reads pornographic novels on her mobile phone. I haven't seen my husband for many years, and sometimes she feels the need. As soon as the lights went out at night, she quietly masturbated in the quilt. The pornographic hard disk that was accidentally turned out in her hometown room taught her the method of masturbation. She feels more comfortable to come alone than to live a married life with her husband. Pink feels the same way. She always wanted to try some masturbation tools, but she only read them online and never placed an order because it was too expensive. Pink learned to masturbate after being sexually assaulted. When she was a child, she would tuck in the quilt secretly and shrink back as soon as she was seen. I always thought it was a bad thing and it was my secret. It was not until I contacted the women workers' organization in Shenzhen that I found out that she was not the only one who would do this. It turns out that many people will do this. At last, she didn't feel guilty, but she was still afraid that people around her would know and look at her differently, so she still had to be secretive. It's much better after the bed curtain is installed in the dormitory. As soon as the curtain is pulled, others will not find her.

Without a partner, or without a partner, some people will choose to find a sexual partner in the factory and be a mobile couple. When Li Mei met such an invitation, the other party directly said to her: We are all from other places, so let's solve each other. The so-called flowing couples, in her view, are also sexual friends. She refused because she didn't want it. She is afraid of danger and that her feelings will affect the real marriage and the children in her hometown. Pink once thought about trying to have sex, but in the end he still thought it was too dangerous, so he might as well solve it himself. In particular, Xiao fen also began to explore her sexual orientation and thought that she might also like girls. This is not because she secretly loves any girl, but because she has a new observation and understanding of the process of sexual behavior. I think when a man and a woman make love together, there is still a feeling of inequality, as if he has been dominating you. We don't know where this feeling comes from, but Pink hasn't tried to have sex with girls. Maybe something like that. Maybe? She laughed at herself. All this is an eye-opener for Dong Dong, who is just beginning to understand. So there will be female workers reading pornographic novels in the factory? I really don't know that she is the most ignorant and shy about sex, and she still can't understand that girls can boldly and directly ask for their own sex. But she also realized that female workers can better protect themselves by knowing more about sexual knowledge, which is something she is willing to promote. The girls in the factory are ignorant of contraception, pregnant, fighting, fighting, and turning a blind eye to these things. She wants to set up a group of women workers to discuss and learn these things together. She also hopes to encourage herself not to refuse to talk about sex, but to start reading WeChat official account about sex education and participate in physiology classes of non-profit organizations. I am like an experiment myself. Try to see if I can adapt to this role! So I can think, what is everyone's demand? what do you think? I can solve this problem by myself. She said. After suffering and ignorance, she wants to see the sex and love of female workers. (The characters in the text are all pseudonyms)

Author: Jin Qiqi, Master of Journalism, Chinese University of Hong Kong, _ from a small town in the south of China.

Reprinted from Jiao Jian tribe, the information platform for women workers' rights protection life in China.