Fortune Telling Collection - Ziwei fortune-telling - Funny and positive energy reversal jokes

Funny and positive energy reversal jokes

Funny and positive energy reversal jokes

Funny and positive energy reversal jokes, many people know some classic jokes. Such positive energy jokes can not only make us laugh, but also bring us a positive attitude. Let me tell you a few funny and positive reversal jokes.

Funny positive energy reversal paragraph 1 1, be sure to use your right ear when listening to the results, because the left ear is very close to the heart and may die suddenly.

2. You can steal my energy, my expression pack and my photos, but you can't secretly like me.

3, don't drag in front of me, the blacklist will tell you that you are more exciting!

If there is an afterlife, I want to make a quilt, either lying in bed or basking in the sun!

A man's words are like an old lady's teeth, and few of them are true.

6. Touch your chest when you are sad and tell yourself that you are a boy and can't cry.

7. I just want to press you against the wall and kiss you hard. Who knows if it will bump you into a concussion.

8. My parents really think I'm lazy and don't want to go out. If I have money, you can't even meet my people.

9. Don't think that today is the bottom of your life, but it can be regarded as the peak in your later days.

10, don't waste new tears for old sadness!

1 1, you are still the same, mentally retarded as always, but I like it.

12, how to meet the storm without experiencing wind and rain.

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.

14, you take your overpass and I'll go through my underground passage.

15. Last night, the braised hairtail cooked by my neighbor's house, I quickly picked up the bowl and smelled the fish, and ate three bowls of rice.

16, Laozi is my son's passport, and my son is my epitaph.

17, I always believe that there is never destiny takes a hand's misfortune, only perseverance.

18, don't think that you are somewhat beautiful. I like girls like you.

19 I accidentally picked up my own waste when I was in the bus, and I regretted it immediately because I found no place to put it down.

20, gain three kilograms every day, take a closer look at three kilograms. Try hard to lose weight for half a year, and you will succeed in the New Year.

2 1. If life betrays me, I hope it's because of my weight.

In order to prevent me from spending money indiscriminately next month, I have spent all my money in advance, and I am clean and upright.

23, a girl like me, can't a little weight suppress her beauty?

24. Laugh for ten years, then laugh at wrinkles.

25. According to the pig's aesthetic, I am basically a handsome guy.

26. I feel that the whole world is busy getting engaged and getting married, and only I am busy following the crowd.

27. According to my observation, anyone who likes to say that success or failure is not about money has no money!

28. Talking about money doesn't hurt feelings, but talking about love hurts money the most.

29, your family is really poor, I said to go to your house to play, you said no way!

Come back, I can't fool you alone.

3 1. When I was a child, I always lied to my parents that I had no money. Now I always lie to my parents that I still have money.

32. I like you, just like eating spicy strips without looking at the date when I was a child.

33. I am still lamenting the small waist of that year. Looking at me now, I hate it, and my eyes are full of flowers.

34. Too much consideration of other people's feelings is a kind of disapproval of yourself.

35. Where it exists, it will bloom. Don't forget to smell because you are sad.

36. Leave some space for yourself in everything. You can go further or turn around calmly.

37. Don't spoil others' sincerity. The worse luck now, the better another time. Who do you think God spared?

Let's not meet again. Shampooing is tiring and expensive.

39, the crowd looked for him thousands of Baidu, suddenly looking back, that person is in the marriage registry!

Funny positive energy reverses the second paragraph 1, and my brother has to work overtime at night and can't come back, leaving me and my nephew at home. It thundered that night, and I was going to sleep. At this time, my sister-in-law said that she was afraid of thunder. Later, my sister-in-law slept in the bed. In order to comfort her, I held her in my arms and we slept together until dawn.

I was still waiting for you in the same place, but you forgot that you were here.

My biggest goal in life is to buy things regardless of the price. After years of hard work, I finally went blind and continued my career.

4, loneliness is that there is no one in my heart! Loneliness is in your heart. People are not around.

In winter, you gave me a summer dream, but it woke me up in spring. I feel colder than winter because I didn't adapt at once, but it's not your fault ... it's just that I was wrong and made my dream a reality. ...

6. The person who once loved you must have had sex with you in a previous life. Don't verbally abuse.

7. There is a very powerful person in the Jianghu, and his master can fossilize all his skills. One day, he found his enemy and thought! Oh! I will hurt the person he loves most! So he petrified his enemy's wife! The enemy stared at him and said, dare to turn your wife into a fossil! He paused: the lonely birds sang their sadness ...! ?

8. I want to be one of your teeth in my next life. At least, if I feel uncomfortable, you will also hurt.

9. Our only relationship is nothing.

10, my friend bought an outdoor watch with great quality. I didn't break when I fell off the cliff, but someone died.

1 1, it is said that people with big faces are generally super good-tempered, because it is really difficult to turn their faces.

12, people have only one heart, but two atria.

13. Looking at other people's stories, I shed my tears.

14, nothing can pass, but I can't go back.

15, I was soaking my feet just now, and I cried when I was soaking. Even my feet are soaked, but I'm not.

16, because men in their twenties are at the bottom of their lives, with no money and no career; But a woman in her twenties is at her best. ..

17, how tired is it from simplicity to indifference?

18, holding hands in the street for one day is * *, holding hands in the street for one year is love, holding hands in the street for five years is affection, and holding hands in the street for ten years is affection.

19, FM radio host received a call from the audience. Audience: I just found a wallet in front of McDonald's, which contains more than 5,000 yuan. Moderator: Thank you very much for this enthusiastic audience. Please leave your contact number and we will help you find the owner as soon as possible. Audience: No, no, no, I just want to order a song, Zhang Wei's song Shuang Er, to express my current mood. .

20. Only by standing higher can you see farther. Only by trying can you understand the difficulties. Only when you face difficulties can you succeed. Only when you succeed and understand, happiness will surround you!

2 1, a person can put everything down as long as he no longer wants it.

22. I can't stand the fleeting time, but I can't escape the teenagers here.

23. Xiaoming and Xiaohong are in love. The next day, people fished them up.

24. If he really failed you in this life, it is because you failed him in the last life.

If a person is willing to make you sad, he won't care whether you cry or not.

26, while playing mobile phones, the work efficiency is really low! I suggest you concentrate on doing the right thing first, and you will find that you can finish it quickly and well. For example, I left my job and concentrated on playing with my mobile phone. Now my circle of friends is fast and good.

27. As the saying goes, a day goes by without seeing Sanqiu. As the saying goes, two relationships have been going on for a long time, and sooner or later. Love is not a matter of distance, but a heart that cherishes each other!

28. I hope that someone I like will buy it with money and let me give up completely.

29. The store is crowded with people, and the queues are all at the door of the store. I questioned the waiter and said, I am a VIP, why do I have to wait in line? Shop assistant: Even huskies have to wait in line.

30, "The foot of my bed is so bright", the next sentence students fill in "Li Bai's sleeping fragrance" …

3 1, "Two heads are better than one Zhuge Liang", he actually filled in "the same smell" … The marking teacher immediately fainted …

32. In Tao Yuanming's "Don't bend over for five buckets of rice", that classmate boldly wrote "Just give me six buckets" …

33. "If you are poor, you will be immune." In the next sentence, students will fill in "If you have money, you will have wives."

34. The weak who are not understood must remain strong.

35. How strong do you have to be to forget?

The bravest thing in the world is to listen to your love with a smile. ...

37. A person is lonely before love. After he loved, he was lonely. ...

38. Most sensitive people are unhappy.

39. Missing someone is like drinking a glass of cold water, and then dripping into tears.

40. You envy the glamorous life of others because you don't know what others have paid. When you know, you won't envy them, but you do, because others are lucky to have given nothing.

Funny positive energy reversal third paragraph first, you have to think clearly before you come near me. I have nothing but good looks.

Second, if you feel sick, don't search online. Make a will after every search.

Third, look at beautiful women in the street. If you look up, you will appreciate them, and if you look down, you will be hooligans.

Fourth, eat enough and go to bed early. Don't stay up because you are ugly.

I found that there are two kinds of people, one is mentally ill, and the other is with low IQ, which is not enough for mental illness.

I have lived half my life, and I really want to do something for the economic development of my motherland, but I am not qualified to pay taxes!

Seven, the exam is a person's business, but the score is a matter of seven aunts and eight aunts and a group of people next door, such as Lao Wang.

Eight, good-looking people generally experience more stories, and ugly people generally hear more stories.

Don't always belong to single dog, single dog. You should be a single turtle by age, a single pig by size and a single fool by IQ.

Ten, losing weight is not so easy, every catty of meat has its temper, after eating fat, it is better to give up if you are entangled.

1 1. Don't always compare yourself with others. You envy others for being thin, others envy you for having a good stomach, you envy others for being rich, and others envy no one to borrow money from you.

Twelve, some people's depression is melodramatic, some people's procrastination is lazy, some people's obsessive-compulsive disorder is idle eggs, and some people's insomnia is sleeping too much in class.

Thirteen, since I saw your household registration photos, I realized that it was so simple to give up a person I like.

14. Don't look at other people's smooth sailing on the surface, but it is also smooth sailing behind them.

Fifteen, give yourself a little confidence, don't sit in the right position when others mention fat, because you may not be able to sit down!

Sixteen, when a group of mosquitoes attacked in teams, for the first time in my life, I felt that I was the boss or a copy of the game, and I would lose blood.

Seventeen, the only difference between high school and university is that the dog food in high school is secretly distributed, and the dog food in university is smashed face to face.

When you are angry with your boyfriend, first calm down and think about whether it is your own fault. If it is, then think about how to put it on your boyfriend.

Nineteen, if you are a meteor, I will chase you; If you are a star, I will follow you; If you are a satellite, I will lock you; It's a pity that you are a gorilla. I can only see you in the zoo!

20. When the temperature dropped to a few degrees, a colleague in our office actually wore short sleeves to work. The leader asked him, "Aren't you afraid of the cold?" He said, "I'm not even afraid of poverty. Will I be afraid of the cold? "

Twenty-one, take a step back If you can't broaden your horizons, then take a few more steps; If you can't calm down for a while, just bear it for a few more minutes.

Don't smile at me with your pirated Mona Lisa smile. My stomach is not as strong as you think.

23. Q: Why don't I have a boyfriend? A: If you can take a selfie, why don't you have a boyfriend?

People used to say, "stay at home if you have nothing to do, or you will have to spend money when you go out." Now that times have changed, it is easier to spend money at home.