Fortune Telling Collection - Ziwei fortune-telling - Wei Zi eats seafood with a smile.

Wei Zi eats seafood with a smile.

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The most comprehensive China homophonic joke encyclopedia -5 10 (slip of the tongue)-3200765438+Wednesday, February 26th 0 1:3 140 1. The most classic is my college classmate, nicknamed "Matan", who often quarrels with people.

I peed! "

402。 It's him again. It's very hot in the billiard hall. He squatted in front of the air conditioner to enjoy the cool, and found that the boss's bulldog was also blowing the air conditioner. Yi's information came again. "Boss, your air conditioner is specially used for dogs!"

403。 Still him. One day, he was insulted by a classmate. "I'm hungry for pork, and I'm talking about thirst for blood." Detective Ma sneered. Do you want to drink urine? !

404。 Fill in the blanks with Chinese common sense. Sun Li, a famous writer, is a _ _ _ _ _ (Lotus Lake) school, and some people write "Rightist". It's right to think about it!

405. A classmate once said to me seriously, "Be careful, eat and leave!" ! . . .

406. Selling small matches to girls. . . I'm sweating!

Money! Get the money! I want my mother to bring money! )

408。 Mom, I'm late for work. I'll brush my teeth and wash my face first! You help me make breakfast!

409。 When singing karaoke, the waves bloom;

I want you to watch me swim with that turtle. . . . . .

Original lyrics: I want you to accompany me to watch turtles swim in the water.

4 10。 A girl in our company is violent. Once she saw a MM riding a bicycle in hot pants, and she shouted on the factory car, "Look at that little girl in front, wearing bicycle shorts." I was dizzy when I lifted the car, which almost led to the tragedy of death in a car accident.

4 1 1。 This kind of thing often happens to me. Not surprisingly, the last time I went to Kunshan to play football, "Who kicked me to the ball?" Who am I in a hurry with? "

4 12。 One of my classmates, physical education class, likes to put his foot in his mouth and play basketball one day. Another student accidentally hit the basketball on his head.

He suddenly shouted, don't hit my ball with your head!

4 13。 Why hasn't the old man's junk come yet?

4 14。 One of my classmates once made a mistake. The teacher asked questions. He said: "People always make mistakes, just like eating sesame seeds and losing sesame cakes ..."

4 15。 In junior high school, we hit a man and pinned him to the ground. He said that scholars can be humiliated, but they can't be killed!

4 16。 When I was still at school, I went to Sashido for dinner. When ordering, I ordered a "skin painting".

4 17, the political teacher talked about the inevitability of things in class. Speaking of human beings, give us an example, just one sentence: for example, people become apes!

4 18。 Once on my way to school, I saw an old man sweeping the steps, because I often saw him sweeping, and I knew he volunteered. I'm really touched.

I want to chat with that old man. I wanted to ask how old she was, but it turned out to be: "How old are you?" When' tis once spoken, the sweat ...

4 19。 A boy who grew up by the sea boasted to us that he had eaten seafood since he was a child, saying that among birds, I usually don't eat pigs, cattle and sheep, but I often eat seafood.

420。 Junior high school self-study early, the Chinese class representative wrote on the blackboard: silently read the text of lesson 15. When the deskmate came, he read the text of lesson 15 while looking at the blackboard.

42 1。 The bean skin in Wusanhe and Laotongcheng is delicious. When I went to eat, the cashier said "a bowl of land"!

422.Xi 'an called rice. When my classmates came back from Xi 'an and entered the restaurant, they shouted, "Boss, have a bowl of rice!" " The boss is cold!

423. The master gave me a roast chicken.

424. Once, my classmate stuttered, and I was anxious: straighten your tongue before you speak! !

425, once my friend and classmate said he was really charming, my friend corrected him, and then my friend spoke loudly; Should I splash? !