What funny jokes can you recommend?

The east wind blows and the drums beat! It's interesting who we are afraid of!

I'll make you laugh seriously ~ ~

1. In order to protect its own trademark, White Rabbit registered 10 similar trademarks: Big Grey Rabbit, Big Black Rabbit, Big Flower Rabbit, Little White Rabbit, Golden Rabbit, Silver Rabbit ... but they still ignored Baby Rabbit, Big Japanese Rabbit, Big Mortar Rabbit, Big White Rabbit, Big White Rabbit. It's really impossible to prevent!

2. The woman anxiously asked the doctor, "What is the survival rate of this disease after operation?" The doctor replied, "Fifty percent!" The woman asked nervously, "Are you sure?" The doctor said confidently, "no problem, it will succeed this time!" Because forty-nine people have died in front! "

3. The little pig woke up from a nightmare and cried to his mother, "I dreamed that I would be a sailor when I grow up, but I don't like being a sailor." Mother pig stroked the pig's head and said, "silly child, don't be afraid." Dreams are against you. " Sure enough, the pig made ham instead of being a sailor.

4. When I was a child, I went to the field with seven or eight children to steal sweet potatoes and bake them. Roasting, a buddy said, let's become sworn brothers! When everyone heard this, they all agreed, lit three cornstalks and kowtowed in the field. We will share weal and woe in the future. The sweet potato is baked, and we fought for it!

My surname is Sun, and my father wanted my power to be twice as great as that of Sun Yat-sen, so he gave me a name: Sun Chuanchu. Hehe, my heart is so tired. . On the bus today,

Accidentally squeezed into a pregnant woman. . .

Just when she wanted to apologize, she spoke first: "Be careful, will you pay for it if you squeeze it out?"

I can laugh every time I watch it.

Once upon a time, there was an elk. It was playing in the forest and accidentally got lost. So it calls its good friend giraffe: "Hey … I'm lost." The giraffe answered, "Hey, my giraffe is spicy."

She got angry and ran out of the door. He rushed downstairs to stop her and took the door back.

"is it LAY exo?" "Friend, E is silent." "Oh, is Zhang Hang exo's?"

One day, Meng Po was cooking Meng Po soup. He wanted to taste the salty water, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction. Want to taste salty, took a sip and smiled with satisfaction.

"Wei Zi! Wei Zi! Have you seen my crape myrtle? ! ""Isn't your mouth on your face? "

It is also wonderful to talk about the fate with Beijing. In the year of college entrance examination, Peking University gave our school a place to walk. However, I didn't choose to go to Peking University. On the one hand, I don't like the climate in Beijing. On the other hand, I'm not the one who is being walked.

"I have a buddy who used to be a gangster and was very poor. Later, I washed my hands and now I have made a fortune. " "Awesome, how did he get rich?" "selling pots."

Fish: big ~ ~ fish ~ ~ big ~ ~ fish ~ ~ What do you like ~ Eat ~ Yeah ~ ~ Fish: I like to eat fish that talk slowly. Fish: Oh, it's made of sauce.

The young man asked the Zen master anxiously, "Master, nuclear pollution, global warming, earthquakes, tsunamis and other natural disasters are still going on. Where will mankind go? " The master took out a raw duck egg and a salted duck egg and smashed them on the young man's head respectively. Ask the young man, "which hurts more?" The young man replied, "Salted eggs hurt!" The Zen master said, "Idle eggs hurt, so find something to do!" "

I once singled out the whole server with an AK47. . . .

I went out to watch an old man fall. I asked, "I earn two thousand dollars a month. Can you help you up? " Uncle "Go, young man," I quickly said, "Uncle, there's a Ferrari over there." Uncle said: "Don't go, give me a witness. I'll buy you a car to work after that. " Although the weather is cold, my uncle's words are warm.

I went to have breakfast this morning and saw people now! Eating breakfast, playing mobile games and chatting on WeChat ... Seeing this, I inexplicably felt that the society had changed, so I silently took out my Nokia and played with snakes ...

The child came to his mother crying, and her mother asked, what's the matter, baby? Child: Dad accidentally hit his finger with a hammer. Mom: Then why are you crying? Child: Because I just laughed.

Beef brisket: "I'm out of the pot, and I feel good." Don asked, "How do you feel?" Beef brisket smiled slightly: "I feel my personality is shining, full of noble morality, and I have good education and sentiment." T: "what do you mean?" Beef brisket: "That means I'm not bad enough."

There is a club in the school that is very open and can say anything, so one day I gave a speech ... A female classmate proudly said on the podium, "I am flat-chested, I am proud, and I save the country." . . "Say that finish, everyone applauded. . Only one person in the corner replied faintly, "Are you cheating?"? These days, everyone knows that the bigger the chest, the less you wear. "Say that finish, everyone applauded again ...

After several days and nights of breathing by 20 million people in Beijing, the air quality in Beijing has finally improved. The new Beijing spirit was born: "The fog of virtue, self-improvement, hard work, and then create a gray yellow!" Facts have proved once again that fog is more expensive to suck! …

Doctor: "Have you eaten recently?" Patient: "No. That is, I usually eat the leftovers of my children, I eat the leftovers of my husband and I eat the leftovers of my parents. " Doctor: "I suggest you keep a pig." Patient: "Why, I want to eat the leftover pig [problem]."

The wicked witch enchanted the prince, who could only say one word a year. The prince has a beloved girl. The prince has been silent for three years and told her I love you. Three years later, the prince rushed out of the door and tripped over the threshold. Prince: "Oh, shit!" " "

I have been favored by mosquitoes since I entered summer. There are many people in this dormitory, and mosquitoes spoil me alone, so I advised mosquitoes to contact more rain and dew, but mosquitoes wouldn't listen. Mosquito, bite me, bite me. How can you call it slavery? Well, I was summoned by mosquitoes again last night, buzzing and staying up all night. I am very tired ~ ~

My wife is good at everything except her impatience and bad temper. Last night, my wife helped my son study. There is a math problem. After several explanations, my son still scratched his head and didn't understand. My wife suddenly became impatient and shouted,' Why are you as stupid as your father? Say that finish' clap'' give me a slap! I was cheated on the spot ... wife: I can't bear to hit my son! Me: ...

Shopping with my wife, a beautiful woman in a low-cut dress in front of me accidentally lost her mind, and suddenly remembered that my wife was next to me, trying to explain a few words. I didn't expect the second-rate wife to rush up and say to the beauty, beauty, my brother said that your breasts are so big! Can you let him play? Ten thousand people passed by, and my face was swollen. ...

Every time I go to dinner with a buddy, when I check out, he says to go to the bathroom, and then I pay the bill. This time, before he could speak, I rushed to the toilet and was stopped by the waiter when I came out. "The man just said that you have to go to the toilet later, so you can pay the bill!" ! ! "Shit! ! ! A decisive friend is exhausted! ! !

It is said that JJ with a big nose and his wife went shopping. A beautiful woman in a low-cut dress in front of him was fascinated by it. Suddenly he remembered that his wife was beside him, trying to explain a few words. I didn't expect the second-rate wife to rush up and say to the beauty, beauty, my brother said that your breasts are so big! Can you let him play? Ten thousand people passed by, and my face was swollen. ...

Teacher, it's better for you to teach. Don't be partial.