Fortune Telling Collection - Ziwei fortune-telling - The latest news of the defendant in Xia Ziwei.

The latest news of the defendant in Xia Ziwei.

Portrait of your life: at the age of ten, learn to bathe yourself-pigs wash themselves; Twenty years old is radiant-when the pig is young; Looking for a job at the age of 30-starting a pig-raising career; At the age of forty, I hired a servant-a pig's servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of fifty-throw pigs!

26. I just chatted with my friends, and some of them talked about you. Do you know? I quarreled with them and almost got into a fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey and some said you looked like an orangutan. It was really too much! I didn't treat you like a pig at all!

27. One day, I told you that you were a pig, and you said: I am a pig. So I started calling you a pig. Finally, one day you can't help but announce loudly in front of everyone: I'm not a pig!

3 1, psychological test:

If you think you have a high IQ, just press it.

I think it's quite humorous. Press it.

I find it quite attractive. Press it.

Press if you feel handsome.

Test results:

Quite shameless

32. I see vicissitudes in your brow, confidence in your eyes, years on your forehead and leeks between your lips and teeth. Go brush your teeth!

33. Eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit, eat shit.

34. Two cows are grazing. One of them said; "Recently mad cow disease epidemic. We will not be infected, will we? " The other end of the phone said; "No, we are kangaroos." Already crazy!

35. I have been an unknown knight in the Jianghu until one day I met the most mysterious you in the legend and even called out your name. Since then, I have also had a famous name in the Jianghu: knowing that pigs are narrow!

36. Marriage: A poor family is one meter ugly.

Primary school cultural rural hukou

Broken house, three rooms, one acre of land.

My wife didn't,

Medicine never leaves the mouth all year round.

Today's text message asks for girlfriends.

Take the revolutionary road hand in hand

Would you?

Doctor: Why can't I find my pen? ? I want to write you a prescription. "The patient whispered," doctor, didn't you put it under my arm? "

38. I want sunshine to warm you, starlight to decorate you, wine to intoxicate you, food to satisfy you, fireworks to shine on you, and happiness to drown you. But I haven't been a god for a long time, so I can only wish you happiness every day by SMS!

39. What if all the pigs in the world died? Answer: At least you.

42. A student asked, "Where did you take my shirt?" Roommate "sent it to the laundry room." "God, I wrote down the main points of history class on my cuff."

43. A psycho is lying in bed singing, singing and singing. He turned over and went on singing. The doctor asked him: just sing, why do you want to turn? Psycho said: fool, of course, after singing side A, sing side B!

44、

nHZ! HS OM

I know you won't guess,

I don't understand,

Take a closer look!

Still can't see it?

Do you know Pinyin?

There is a limit to your stupidity, right?

Turn the phone upside down!

45. Father: "Why are you so stupid? You are such a little pig! Ahem! Do you know what a pig is? " Son: "Yes, it's the son of a pig."

Question: How can I lose my hips most effectively?

Answer: rub the tree.

Problem: The monitor screen keeps shaking slightly. what can I do?

You've been shaking, too. When your frequency and amplitude are consistent with the display, you won't feel anything.

Question: Why don't good horses turn back to grass?

Answer: Because horses shit behind.

Question: How to get rid of annoying dogs? There is a dog near my house, no matter it runs casually, it often poops in front of my house at night. Is there any way to stop it from defecating in my house, or kill it without anyone knowing?

Answer 1: It's no use telling the host. Let me tell you a good idea. Every time a dog poops, you peek. When the dog finds you peeking, he will be shy and never dare to shit in front of your house again.

Answer 2: buy it a computer and then teach it to surf the internet, so it won't have time to come to the door.

Question: How to get rid of ants?

Answer 1: Sticking the words "martial law" or "sealed up" on the dormitory door creates the illusion that the dormitory has stopped operating.

Answer 2: Just buy an anteater.

Answer 3: Play Zhang Chu's song "Ant" 30 times.

Answer 4: Stick this question on the door of the nest, it's hard to kill them! Those who survive will be tortured to death by this paradox.

Answer 5: Keep some termites and let them discriminate against each other and kill each other.

Question: How can I find more money in the street?

Answer 1: Just drop your wallet on the floor.

Answer 2: It is better to be a garbage cleaner. There is a good chance of changing money like this.

Answer 3: Don't pick up money or bow your head. Money falls from the sky, so keep looking up.

Question: What is the simplest secret of longevity?

Answer: Keep breathing and don't die.

Question: Why doesn't the moon go around the sun?

Answer: Because the moon goes around the earth.

Q: Who is Liu San's confession?

Answer 1: the earth after heaven.

Answer 2: Emperor Yanhuang.

Answer 3: peaches.

Question: How do you say "incredible" in English? I often hear in movies, how do you write the words "Bao Baolei Baby" or "Scratching Bao Si"? What do you mean accurate?

Answer: It should be like this:

Incredible (saving the baby) incredible!

Impossible (grasping the treasure) impossible! The tone of this sentence is stronger than the previous one.

Question: What's the harm of crossing your legs?

Answer: the ass will be half big and half small.

Question: Why do people fear heights and birds don't?

Answer 1: People know the feeling of falling, but birds don't.

Answer 2: When a bird flies, it never worries. It doesn't care about its wings. And people always think too much and suffer too much.

Question: Why do wizards ride brooms instead of benches?

Answer: Because riding a broom is much more handsome than sitting on a bench, you can also pretend to be a sweeper when you meet the enemy (too powerful to beat yourself).

Question: Why do Superman's underwear always wear outside?

Answer 1: You wear it inside. Who knew you were Superman?

Answer 2: Batman, put on underwear; Spider-Man, wearing underwear; How can Superman not take the fashion route? He is wearing underwear. ...

Problem: My computer has a virus. What pesticides should I buy?

Answer 1: Nothing. You can leave the computer on for a month and let the virus starve to death.

Answer 2: Starving to death is not enough. I'm too hungry. What if the virus crawls out and infects someone else's computer? Not only will you have the opportunity to starve to death, but you will also seal the computer with a bag and cut it off from water, food and gas.

Answer 3: Use Fuyanjie. Washing is healthier.

Answer 4: Yanfu Street cannot be used. Upstairs. What if the computer is a man? In fact, the tide is the best. No harm to hands, sterilization.

Answer 5: None upstairs is kind. Computer viruses can't use pesticides. Just take the computer to the epidemic prevention station and give the doctor an injection. After that, an injection every year can completely prevent the virus from invading.

Problem: I have a virus in my computer; I sprayed insecticide on the mainframe. Why don't I care?

Answer 1: You can talk to the pesticide manufacturer, otherwise you can sue the consumer association.

Answer 2: Not bad. You don't spray enough. A little more.

The best answer: Chinese virus should be a software problem, not a hardware problem, so it is useless for you to spray the host. You should turn on the computer, remove the hard disk, and then remove the hard disk before spraying, which will solve your problem! (Don't laugh, be serious)

Question: Are there any fattening drugs on the market? What can I eat to get fat? The simpler the better!

Answer: Yes, it only takes a while to get fat immediately. The way is to find a hornet's nest and put your hand in it and stir it twice. Oh, just for a moment. I promise to be so fat that I don't even know your mother.

Question: Ask the master what gun is suitable for robbing a bank, where to buy a gun, and how much is an AK-47? Tell me what you know. thank you

Answer: no experienced people are here, but you will see if you try to catch them.

Question: Please give some examples of chemistry benefiting mankind.

Answer 1: In the past century, chemistry has made the most outstanding contribution to human society: synthetic fibers, dyes, petrochemicals, medicine, fertilizers, synthetic materials and so on.

Answer 2: the original bomb. Nothing is not "service".

Question: An intellectual problem. What's behind 228? What is behind 103? What is behind 85? All three answers are the same! Just give me the answer.

Answer: Yes.

Question: Does the star need to go to the toilet to eat?

Answer 1: Of course not. A star's meal is called "rice". When a star goes to the toilet, it is called "bathroom". So there is no need to "eat" and "go to the toilet".

Answer 2: If you don't see it, just pretend it never happened.

Q: Can I be entrusted with the mission of maintaining world peace?

Answer 1: If you are a super action hero, I will consider it.

Answer 2: Of course not. You must stand up in the next US presidential election, or the American people will never agree.

Answer 3: If you have superhuman strength, the ability to change stars, the ability of ninja turtles, the courage of Astro Boy, the wisdom of rest, the courage of Mao Zedong, the means of Zhou Enlai and the plan of George H.W. Bush, you can basically maintain world peace.

Answer 4: Make such a big joke.

Answer 5: Who are you? Why should I give it to you! If you are Altman, you can!

Question: Why is it forbidden to "heat up quickly" in student dormitories?

A: First of all, it needs electricity.

Second, it is easy to catch fire.

Third, boiled water can only wash feet, because the quality is not good.

Question: How to wash clothes?

Answer: Wash frequently.

Question: Is it so difficult to eat shrimp porridge alone?

1 A: Let's practice oral English. It is not difficult to make it clear.

A: Is porridge human? ... using anthropomorphic technology

A: It won't be difficult to give porridge a steamed stuffed bun.

Question: If I accidentally swallow a flying insect, will something happen?

Answer: Of course it's a good thing. You can taste the rare game in the world. Those things are rich in protein and contain many trace elements, which will definitely increase your skills.

Question: Help! My computer won't open! The fan doesn't turn, and the motherboard light doesn't light up!

Best answer: Is it plugged in?

The best answer is added: No!

Question: I am a student in the computer network class. We are going to have a sports meeting, and the teacher wants us to say a slogan for the class? To be novel and innovative is related to the computer network we have studied.

Answer 1: Maximum flow, fastest speed!

Answer 2: We promise not to get stuck.

Answer 3: XX class in our class, telephone line, small optical fiber!

Question: Who can describe the relationship among CPU, memory and hard disk?

Answer: Are you cpu memory, bowl, hard disk or pot? You eat directly from the bowl, but things come out of the pot.

Question: The baby will be born in February 2007. Father's surname is Zhang and mother's surname is Wang. Please give us a name. What are boys and girls? It is best to have a double-character name and a verb-object structure.

Answer: Octopus King

Question: The person I love is taken! People who love me are terrible! ! Why is this happening?

Answer: although the famous flowers have been taken, they can be loosened occasionally.

Although it looks unsightly, sultry heat can also relieve summer heat.

Question: How to resist the temptation of beautiful women?

Answer: if you eat the sugar coating, the shells will come back!

Question: Did my guppy die in one day 100? Why is this happening?

Answer: It's all because of you ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

1 Because you are a rich fool.

How much does it cost to burn

Because you are an uneducated fool.

Why buy so many at once? You won't put two pieces of water first.

Because you are a gullible fool.

The merchant bought you sick fish.

Because you are an idiot who doesn't know how to raise fish.

Think for yourself ~ ~ ~ .........

Question: Why are there so many crows over tianjin polytechnic university?

Answer: Because crows want to mix diplomas.

47. A drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by. A policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just ate an apple, too

Words in the dark, on the longest ... most terrible road. ...

The taxi driver drove there. ...

There was a woman beckoning to get on the bus ... OK ... It was quiet all the way. ...

Until the woman spoke. ...

She said, "This is an apple for you … It's delicious …" The driver thought it was great … so he took it …

Then I took a bite ... the woman asked, "Is it delicious?"

The driver said, "Delicious!" The woman replied, "I liked apples very much before my death ..."

Wow ...&; * $ # @ ... Hearing this, the driver suddenly braked with fear and turned white. ...

I saw that woman slowly turn her head forward, ....................................................................................................................................................................

Want to know what she said? ……………………………………………………

"But I don't like to eat after giving birth to a child!

2. Dolls

There is a taxi driver who works in a taxi company.

One night, he was driving through a very desolate place, surrounded by darkness; Suddenly I saw a building on the wasteland ahead, with dim lights on. He wants to know when such a building was built here. He saw a young lady beckoning him to take the car home. After the young lady got on the bus, he closed the door and started driving. After a while, he felt very strange. Miss, why don't you talk? As a result, he looked in the mirror and saw that there was no miss, only a doll sitting there. Scared to death, he grabbed the doll and threw it out of the window. After returning home, he was seriously ill.

After his illness, he returned to work in a taxi company. As a result, his colleague said to him, "You are really boring. A beautiful lady came to complain that she wanted to take your car last time. As a result, she just threw the doll in, and you closed the door and drove away. "

3. Ghost fire

On a dark night, a man drove through a graveyard at night. The breeze blew, and the surrounding sounds rustled, making people feel creepy and numb. Just then, he suddenly found a little red light flashing in the distance. His first thought was "jack-o'-lantern". So he carefully picked up a stone and threw it at the lamp. I saw flames swaying behind another grave. What is even more frightening is that he picked up a stone and threw it at the fire, only to see the light fly to another grave. At this point, he is close to collapse. So he picked up another stone and threw it at the lamp. At this moment, I heard a voice from behind the grave: "Shit, who is it? "Shit is not fun. A bag of cigarettes chopped me three times. "

4, damn it

After the Halloween masquerade, two men walked home ... when they passed a cemetery, they wanted to cross it on a whim. When they were halfway through, they were frightened by the sound of drumming. The sound came from a dark place, and they were all frightened. Then they found an old man digging a tombstone with a chisel.

One of them said, "My God, sir, we thought you were a ghost. What are you doing here so late? " The old man scolded, "* * *, they misspelled my name. ! ! ! "

5, the toilet meets a ghost

Chu Yang wants to visit the countryside. When chatting with his relatives, they told him that there were ghosts in the toilet here. However, if you don't pick up things from ghosts, ghosts won't hurt you. May be the cause of acclimatization, at night, Chu Yangxiang's stomach hurts like hell. No way out, Chu Yang had to bite the bullet and go to the toilet on tenterhooks.

As soon as Chu Xiangyang squatted down, he heard the ghost's voice: "Do you want red toilet paper or white toilet paper?"

Knowing that ghosts are unacceptable, Chu Yang replied, "I always use newspapers." It seems that Chu Yangxiang has dysentery. After a while, Chu Yangxiang ran to the toilet again, but this time, he was no longer afraid. Seeing Chu Yang backward, the ghost held out his hand and said, "Wen Wei Po or reference news?" "I always use sports newspapers." In the evening, Chu Yang went to the toilet for the third time. "titan sports or Football Daily?" Asked the ghost.

"... I ... I just want to pee. "Here you are.

At midnight, a fire broke out. Unknown reason.

Africans see this.

I don't care that much.

I ran out naked.

Firefighters said, exclaimed:

Oh, my God. It was burned to ashes, wasn't it? Can still run so fast.

1 joke

1. Female: "I can marry anyone as long as I have money." Man: "Will you marry the safe in the bank?"

When arguing, the difference between a man and a woman is like the difference between a pistol and a machine gun.

My wife wants to lose weight, so she goes cycling every day. As a result, the horse lost 40 pounds in a month.

4. Patient: "Doctor, you left your scissors in my stomach." "Never mind, I have another one."

Judge: Why do you print counterfeit money? The defendant said innocently, because I can't print real money.

6. Wife: "Men are timid." Husband: "Not necessarily, otherwise why should I marry you?"

7. Part I: Hahahahaha Part II: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe. Horizontal batch: there is something wrong with the nerve.

8. The first year: He said and she listened. The following year: She said and he listened. The third year: they said that the neighbors listened.

9. If the cold world we live in is still hard to change, at least I still have your face to melt the ice and snow.

10. Thief A: "How much did you rob today?" Thief B: "No, just read the newspaper tomorrow."

1 1. Teacher: "Peter, do you know how many years a mouse can live?" Peter: "It depends on the cat's mind."

12. Kangaroo said to the dog, "I can put my mobile phone in my bag, and you can only hang it on your ass!" "

13. Pig Bajie: I changed my name to Sai Pan An, and many beautiful women are waiting for me! The Monkey King: Unless you surf the Internet, you idiot.

14. The daughter asked her mother, "Was Dad shy before?" "If he wasn't shy, you would be at least four years older now!"

15. Father: You are so old, it's time to find a wife. Son: Yes, but there are too many people. Whose wife am I looking for?

16. Female: "Why do you always chew candy when you talk to me?" Man: "How can there be so many sweet words without chewing sugar?"

17. Female: "Does your fiance know your age?" Woman B: "Yes, he knows part of it."

18. "I regard her as the North Pole!" "How?" "She is as cold as ice and attracts me like a magnet."

19. Difficult to achieve

Mahaha is driving along a country road with his family. Suddenly, he found a frog crossing the road. Mahaha quickly stopped the car, stepped down and put the frog on the side of the road. The frog thanked haha very much and promised to realize haha's wish. So, the horse ha ha said to the frog:

"There will be a dog selection contest next week, and I want my dog to take the first place." The frog asked to see the dog, and Ma Haha took the dog out of the car. The frog saw that the dog was stupid and fat, and it only had three legs.

"I'm afraid this wish is difficult to realize. You'd better change your wishes! " The frog said guiltily.

"Well, let my wife win the first prize in the next beauty contest!" Mahaha demanded.

The frog let Mahaha's wife get off the bus, looked at it and said, "Can I see that dog just now?"

20. Such an ugly girl

There is a woman who is so ugly that men avoid her for three points. A woman's greatest wish is to be kidnapped by traffickers, and then ... so, whenever night falls, she lingers on a sparsely populated country road, waiting for that moment.

Many things happen. Late that night, she was finally kidnapped by kidnappers and stuffed into the car. The kidnapper came to see the kidnapper leader with his "victory fruit", ready to ask for a reward. However, when the kidnapper saw the woman's appearance, he could not help cursing the kidnapper for his lack of vision and ordered him to let the woman off at once. The kidnapper told the woman to get off at the boss's order, but the woman didn't mean to get off at all. After a long stalemate, the kidnappers used threats, intimidation, beatings and other means to let the woman get off the bus, but the woman never gave in and just didn't get off the bus. When the kidnapper leader saw it, he shouted helplessly: "Forget it! Don't want the car! "

2 1. unfair

A priest and a bus driver died at the same time, but the bus driver went to heaven and the priest went to hell. The priest devoted his life to the church, but went to hell, which was unfair.

So he complained to god. Father: "Lord! I have devoted my life to the church and take your followers to pray every Sunday. Why am I not as good as a bus driver? Go to hell? " God: "Yes! That's why you went to hell. You take your followers to pray and preach every Sunday, but they are all sleeping on their heads! But the bus driver rampages in the street every day while his passengers are praying! "

poison

As soon as the customer came out from the drugstore to buy medicine, the drugstore boy hurried over.

Dude: Sorry, what you want is tonic water. I gave you poison by mistake.

Customer: Look at you, something terrible almost happened.

Dude: Yes, the boss will definitely scold me when he finds out. Poison is twice as expensive as tonic.

Step 23 avoid asking questions

A famous botany professor and his teaching assistant are studying new varieties of plants.

One day, the teaching assistant asked the professor, "What should you do when you go for an internship in the field and meet an unknown plant?"

The professor replied, "I usually walk in the front and then trample all the plants I don't know to death to avoid students asking questions."

24. Activity Director

A worker asked the director's secretary:

"Why do directors always sit in the front row when they go to the theater?"

"lead the masses."

"But why did he sit in the middle at the movies?"

"Go deep into the masses."

"When the guests come, why is there always our factory director at the table?"

"on behalf of the masses."

"But he sits in his office every day ..."

"Fool, trust the masses!"

25. The assassin

Two gangsters were lying in wait, trying to plot against someone, but they never saw him. One of them was anxious and said, "What's the matter? He hasn't come yet, I hope nothing will happen to him! "

26. A tooth

John: "Your father is like a miser. You see, he is a shoemaker, and you still wear such worn shoes. "

Tom: "What about your father? He is a famous dentist, but your little brother has only one tooth! "

27. Hard conscience

One day, a poet and his friends were drinking. They ordered an appetizer and four sparrows. His friend ate three in a row and was about to eat the last one. The poet said, "Is it my turn to eat this one?" My friend sighed and said, "I wanted to give it to you, but I really couldn't bear to break them up." Let them reunite. " After that, he ate the last one.

Abnormal landlord: It can be seen from the incident of drinking dead mineral water in Hainan that food safety in China is worrying, and so is mineral water.

Can you drink to death? Is there no sign of QS?

Violent reply: weak, is QS going to die?

7. abnormal landlord: a student, with the lowest grades every year, often fights with people, and the teacher wants to be good to the students according to the requirements of the leader.

Listen to the last comment. How to write it?

Violent reply: The student has stable grades and strong hands-on ability.

1 1. Talk about the 30-minute news broadcast in China.

Violent reply: What's the point? The leaders were very busy in the first ten minutes. Ten minutes, the whole country is very lucky.

Fu. Ten minutes later, people in other countries in the world are living in dire straits.

3 Reply: Forward: Very strong and far away?

14. abnormal landlord: Olympic slogan "one world, one dream!" "

Violent reply: Dear, the essence of mahjong is everywhere, in fact, it is "to touch a tube, it is a root."

Tube! "

15. abnormal landlord: about to step into social work. Please refer to the grassroots, high-level and middle-level units in Tianya.

What is this?

Violent reply: high-level: the boss above has no boss; Middle level: younger brother and younger brother; Grassroots: subordinates

Only his brother.

2 1. forum landlord: the damn barber shop cut my head! Let's do some bad actions, and ask that the bigger the injury, the better, and the smaller the action, the better, because I am going alone.

Forum basement: Late at night, the moon is dark and windy, quietly and gently, hanging alone in front of the barber shop. ...

28. Landlord: I haven't eaten a drop of rice for a year, and I'm still alive and well! Mop netizens, you are behind. Don't you think it is troublesome to eat three meals a day? Now I only need 10 minutes of sunshine every day to be energetic for several days in a row. Well, you are really a group of ordinary people.

Answer: Plants can type. Sweating.

One sentence makes you laugh.

1, a police dog saw an ordinary dog coming on the road and ran over to ask it: I am a police dog, what are you? The ordinary dog took a disdainful look and said, idiot, look clearly, I am plain clothes!

I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I'll write your mobile phone number on the wall and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Invite me to have a good meal, or write: marriage, male or female, unlimited conditions.

One day, we went to a wishing pool. I bent down and made a wish, and then threw a coin into the well. You wanted to make a wish, but when you bent down, you accidentally fell into the well. I was startled and muttered, How clever!

You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world to find you, and I went through a lot of hardships to find you: TMD! Our wings are on the same side!

7. In the middle of the night, George W. Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of his bed, criticizing his head and distributing it. Bush was startled and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and said with a grimace, "It's so soft and confident!"!

8. The monkey picked up a card. It wants to see what it is, so it climbs to the branch to see. At this moment, a flash of lightning hit it. The monkey cried and said that it was an IP card!

10, a patient with indigestion complained to the doctor: I have been abnormal recently. Pull whatever you eat, cucumber and watermelon, how to return to normal? The doctor is silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

13, the science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death? No one answered. The teacher asked again: Does nobody know? At this time, a classmate stood up and said, that's because you are calm and naturally cool.

My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

10. In primary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I don't borrow it, he will pester me and hit me. Then I shouted with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow) you." At this time, my classmates immediately quieted down.

1 1. In the computer class, a classmate had a problem with the machine and shouted "Boss, change the machine!" The whole class froze.

12. I spit on your face!

14. I am a male. I was sick in Guangdong, and I couldn't speak. I went to see a doctor, who told me that Yindao was inflamed. When I looked carefully, the writer on the diagnosis was speechless.

````````

15. Buy a computer, the boss offers 4 150, and I counter-offer: boss 4 10, why ~ ~ the boss is dizzy!

Swimmer: The lifebuoy in your factory has taught me a lot about swimming.

Director: Thank you.

Swimmer: Don't be modest. The lifebuoy produced in your factory deflates at the sight of water, so I have to swim as hard as I can. As a result, I quickly learned to swim.

A group of recruits are skydiving training.

The old monitor pulled them to the door one by one and then pushed them out.

A guy struggled desperately, clinging to the door and refusing to jump out!

The monitor wouldn't let him talk, so he kicked him out!

Several recruits at the back laughed after reading it!

The monitor roared, "What's so funny about this coward?"

A recruit said, "He is not a coward, he is the pilot of this plane!" " "

Hearing this, the old monitor immediately fainted!