Humorous jokes that make women happy.

Humorous jokes that make women happy are short in length and simple and ingenious in story, and jokes themselves are a Chinese vocabulary, meaning words or things that make people laugh. Jokes have the characteristic of giving people a wonderful feeling of sudden laughter. Share humorous jokes that make women happy.

Humorous jokes make women happy 1 humorous jokes make women happy 1

1. A mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day.

A nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?"

The mental patient jumped up and shouted, "What's the matter with you? Can't you see that the fish tank is empty? "

2. "You see I am as strong as a bull, because I eat beef every day."

"Really, but I eat fish every day. Why can't I swim now? "

3. Let's chat: Where there is water, there should be fish.

Lao Li: I don't think so. Is there any fish in the open bottle?

4. "section chief, I sent you some fat and big carp."

"Oh, it's the company's rectification. I can't accept this fish."

"Then I'll give it to your wife!"

"I can't control this, she is a mass."

5. "Hey, why did you pour the medicine into the lake?"

"I want to feed the fish some appetizers. The fish here have a bad appetite and don't eat the bait I made with sesame oil. "

6. My classmate is plump and likes singing. He sang Richie Jen's song while washing clothes: "I am a fish ..."

I smiled: "How can there be such a fat fish?"

He said with a straight face, "haven't you seen dolphins?" ! "

7. Sleeping in class: A student sleeps in class and is found by the teacher. Teacher: "Why do you sleep in class?" A student: "I didn't sleep!" " "Teacher:" Then why do you close your eyes? "A student:" I'm closing my eyes! ""Teacher: "Then why do you nod?" A student: "What you just said is very reasonable!" " "Teacher:" Then why are you drooling? A student: "teacher, you speak with relish!" "

Humorous jokes that make women happy II

1, wife: "I heard that a beautiful wife gives birth to a handsome son and a handsome husband gives birth to a beautiful daughter. Dear, we ... "

Husband: "Let's adopt one ..."

I am pregnant and went shopping one day. Just walked to the door of the community, my husband called, and when I said to go out to play, I heard a roar on the phone: it's your fault that you go out to play without sleeping at home on such a hot day, and the child is black. ......

My wife is in charge of financial power, and she doesn't give much pocket money every time, so I want to talk to her today.

"Dear, you can give me more pocket money every day. I want to do a good deed every day. "

"hmm? Who is Xing Yishan? How dare you ask me for money for such a thing! "

Xiao Wu came to the unit wrapped in a gauze. Everyone was curious and asked him what was going on. Xiao Liu said: "Last night, he was playing with fireworks with a cigarette, and the fireworks accidentally exploded in the room!" "

"Blow you up like this?" Everyone asked.

"No," Xiao Wu replied gloomily. "My wife called."

I had dinner with my cousin yesterday. My cousin is a doctor. He says his blood pressure and blood sugar are high, so he is not allowed to drink.

Cousin is anxious to say: drink to death!

My wife said simply: If you want to die, die early, while I am still young.

6. "Husband, I have a crush on a bag and think it suits me very well; Seeing it, I feel the feeling of first love, so pure, so pure; Only more than ten thousand, I deserve it ... "

"The subscriber you dialed is not in service area, please stop calling ..."

Humorous jokes that make women happy 2 jokes that make girls happy 1

1, "I went to see a doctor yesterday."

"oh! What did the doctor say? "

"The doctor said, have you seen enough? ! "

2. The young man asked the Zen master, "I worked hard, but I didn't achieve anything in my career. What should I do? "

The Zen master said, "90 degrees is very hot, but can such a water temperature make the water boil?"

The young man hesitated and said, "I grew up in Lhasa."

Xiaohong said to Xiaoming, "You got me pregnant, and you should be responsible!"

Xiao Ming exclaimed, "Kissing has nothing to do with having children?"

Xiaohong: "Of course! If you don't believe me, go back and ask mom and dad if they are biological! "

4. Girlfriend has poor aesthetic taste in buying clothes. She thinks beautiful clothes are actually ugly.

Because of this, I broke my heart and mouth, and finally wanted to speak. If she had good taste, she wouldn't like me.

A friend planted some garlic seedlings in the dormitory, saying it was to add some greenery to the dormitory. He worked hard for two weeks.

When I was cooking noodles yesterday, I thought it tasted bad, so I pinched two and put them in a bowl.

As a result, when he came back, he cried and insisted that I pay for it.

As for it? I had no choice but to give him the cabbage I had raised for two months.

Jokes that amuse girls 2

1, Chu and Han contended and Xiang Yu was besieged. In the camp, he thought about drinking and lamented, "Pulling mountains makes the world angry, but if it is unfavorable, it will not die. What can I do without dying? "

Lyrics desolate and sad, courtier Yu Ji saw her beloved overlord's lamentation that he was flustered because he loved his children deeply, drew his sword and danced, gently singing: "Seventeen-year-old Yu Ji recalled childhood ..."

Er Kang dare not sleep alone. Every time Wei Zi comes back to her house, he can't sleep at night. Once Wei Zi went back, only to find that she didn't hear the news that Er Kang couldn't sleep.

She was puzzled and asked Erkang, "How can you fall asleep this time?"

Sang Kang said shyly, "I'm not afraid to sleep alone. Yongqi is a quilt. I am not afraid. "

3. One day, Nezha met the Monkey King and defiantly said to him, "Yaoyao asked if you dare?"

The Monkey King was shocked: "Love me like you said?"

4. Dayu didn't enter the house for three times, and his wife sang about him at home every day. "Dayu missed those years, and he missed those years of love!"

5, Huang Rong poisoning, itchy all over. Although Hong Qigong could not detoxify, he still used internal force to relieve itching and delay the attack, so that Guo Jing had enough time to ask for help.

Seeing that Huang Rong was in stable condition, Qigong pulled Guo Jing aside and whispered to him, "Although I just held back an itch, but ..."

Guo Jing took the words hesitantly and sang: "Green ... green grass is more fragrant because of you?"

Humorous jokes that make women happy 3 jokes that make girls happy.

1, "Honey, I feel so fat and want to lose weight."

"Don't lose weight, now use your ugliness as an excuse."

2. The husband saw the clothes in the closet and said to his wife, "Women are animals who love the new and hate the old."

The wife immediately retorted: "Who said that, we are also very nostalgic."

The husband asked, "What do you miss?"

The wife said, "Age!"

3. A boyfriend and girlfriend fell in love on a park bench. The woman suddenly wants to fart.

Say to the man: I am a cereal bird, do you listen to it?

Men are really willing to listen.

So, under the cover of "goo goo" birdsong, the woman happily farted.

W: Does it sound like a cuckoo?

Man: What a fart! I didn't catch it!

4. Just seeing my classmate's help, Weibo growled: Help me see what to do if my hand is stuck by 502!

The middle finger and thumb stick together, and I am Guanyin now!

5. The painter Xu Beihong is famous for drawing horses. The horses in his works are vigorous, with different postures, or gallop, or look back and scream, or gallop.

With the maturity of the creative stage, his later works are mainly pastoral, villagers and children, and there is no trace of horses at all, because he finally realized the artistic essence of "no horse is king".

6. When attending a friend's wedding, the groom said affectionately to his parents-in-law: Mom and Dad, don't worry, I will treat her well and take good care of her like a brother and sister.

7. Several monks are responsible for cleaning the clothes of the whole Shaolin Temple. The abbot often says to them, "As long as you are willing to work hard, laundry can also be overhauled."

Other monks are getting tired. Only Feng Ming, a young monk, always remembers the abbot's instruction and washes every piece of clothes carefully.

Finally, one day, many things happened and the abbot promoted him to be the deacon of the First Hospital.

Feng Ming found some long hairs in the abbot's cassock.

8. My wife said to me, "Who said,' Is yours mine, mine or mine?' This is simply contempt for family harmony.

Dear, please rest assured that in our family, without Wu Zetian and Cixi, we will always be equal: the housework is yours and the TV remote control is mine; The loan card is yours and the salary card is mine ... "

9. Wife: What if we die and go to hell?

Husband: I will pray to God that you will go to heaven. I'm alone in hell!

Wife: You have a conscience!

Husband: I'm afraid we're both in hell and married. For me, that's the real hell.