Does the shadow (trauma) of childhood really affect a person's life?

Yes, it will affect people's life. Lu Xun once said that the situation of children is the fate of the future.

Every child needs the guidance of his parents from an early age to learn common sense of life and cultural knowledge. As for how to educate children, it is entirely up to parents, which leads to the gentle "putting facts and reasoning" in the process of parents' education. However, in order to make their children more obedient, some parents will use some violent means and violent language to beat and scold their children, which is euphemistically called "a dutiful son is born under the stick" and "if you don't fight, you will lose the weapon".

Whether it is beating or scolding, the purpose is to make children more obedient. Let's not talk about whether this way of beating and cursing will really bind children and leave an indelible memory in children's psychology.

Adults, no matter what age, have deep memories of being beaten or punished as children. They can clearly recall many details, such as what their parents punished them, what they did, their inner reactions at that time, etc., and describe things completely. These bad memories will emerge when you encounter setbacks or difficulties in life and linger in your mind for a long time.

Why is this happening? Beverley Engel, the first American psychologist, replied that everything is caused by shame, and shame is a psychological reaction that is afraid of exposure and wants to hide. When children are young, they are unable to resist the abuse of adults. When the body is hurt, they can only rely on self-explanation to alleviate the physical and psychological trauma.

Over time, these explanations will form a kind of self-psychological suggestion, that is, "my mother will hit me if I am not good enough" or "I will stop playing if I listen to my father" and so on. This may seem incredible to many people. Why do you blame yourself when you are beaten? It doesn't make sense. That's because children can't externalize their anger. If they resist, they will be more seriously abused.

Both grievances and pains need an excuse to vent, so internalizing anger and remorse can make a broken heart feel better. Even if you stay away from the abuser as an adult, the feelings of self-disgust and self-blame will continue to ferment, affecting your attitude towards yourself and others, and there will be problems in getting along with your partner. It may even endanger physical and mental health.