What is the omen of impending separation in BDSM relationship?

Many people say that when they are in a BDSM relationship, they feel very insecure, and they are always afraid that one day, this relationship will end unilaterally.

Perhaps it is a sudden failure to answer the phone, perhaps an inexplicable message, abandonment, betrayal, loss of contact, and power failure, which happen almost every day in BDSM relationships, making the parties anxious like a time bomb.

Indeed, this intimate relationship of BDSM is not like going to the cinema. There are rolling subtitles at the end to remind you to leave. It's more like a rainstorm in summer. It likes to come and go suddenly.

But we believe that no matter what kind of intimate relationship, there is always a sign from intimacy to alienation. When we think back carefully, we can certainly find the moment when quantitative change causes qualitative change.

Liu Hulai, male S, 26-year-old omen 1: absent-minded

Last May, when the epidemic situation just improved, I happily bought a high-speed rail ticket to find her. I remember when chatting with her, she once mentioned that her sexual fantasies should be controlled by her master. I haven't seen her for half a year, so I want to give her a surprise, so I customized a chastity lock according to her figure and wanted to give it to her face to face.

When I arrived in her city, the express delivery was also included in my calculation and delivered to her home in time. However, after opening it, she was not very happy or unhappy. She just said absently, "Great."

Then I stayed in her city for three days, and she was almost busy with other things, either working overtime or on the way to work overtime. I asked her, didn't she say that she was fine these days? That's why I asked for leave.

Still absent-minded, she sincerely apologized to me to the effect that the company's arrangements are always unpredictable and I don't know when I will work overtime. I'm really sorry.

Although nominally apologizing to me, I heard a little voice urging me to go quickly, so I stopped being bored and bought a ticket in advance.

Then in July, we parted peacefully. After establishing a relationship with her, I only met her twice. I went to see her. The first time is sweet, the second time is perfunctory.

Little white pig, female M, 22-year-old omen 2: sudden alienation

In the same city, you usually go to your host every two weeks or three weeks. After work on Friday, bring him a cup of mango frappuccino that he likes to drink. He will be so happy on Saturday that he will come back on Sunday afternoon.

I agree with him. I don't have to tie myself down with relationships. I just want to be happy when I am together. I thought this kind of unrestrained happiness could last for a long time until I went to see him once.

That day we played until Saturday and collapsed, and fell asleep in his arms at night. We didn't wake up until noon on Sunday, and the sunshine hit us one by one. He sat on the bed and dressed, and I still had a red mark on my ass. Everything is just right. I got up and put my arm around his neck to kiss him. He pushed me away with his hand and let me brush my teeth first.

But at any time before, he never refused my kiss.

When I brush my teeth in the bathroom, I have a sixth sense unique to girls. I think he has someone he likes, and it's not me.

Sure enough, in less than a month, he told me that he suddenly wanted to leave everything related to BDSM and have a normal relationship. People like us who make tools for each other are boring. Alas, there are platitudes behind.

Cy, male m, 20 years old, omen 3: no longer bright.

I remember reading Li Ao's autobiography when I was a child, which wrote the reasons why my wife Hu Yinmeng and I divorced.

First of all, Hu Yinmeng, then known as "the first beauty in Taiwan Province", walked barefoot on the road when taking photos. After returning home, Li Ao saw Hu Yinmeng's dusty dark soles. How can Li Ao feel that the soles of the feet of the goddess are so dirty? I feel a sense of disgust and disillusionment.

The second thing is that Li Ao witnessed Hu Yinmeng's constipation in the toilet after marriage. He said that beautiful women are no different from ordinary people when they are constipated. Before I got married, she was the embodiment of the perfect goddess in my heart, so I couldn't face her red and twisted face because of constipation.

The omen of my separation from my master is usually like this, and some details when I get along make me unable to worship her anymore.

For example, when TJ was online, he humiliated me, and suddenly there was a pig barking. Of course, my reason knows it's no big deal, maybe it's because I can't breathe well, or maybe I'm stuck with phlegm. Everyone has a similar situation.

But beyond reason, my real thought at that time was that this was my perfect master, and I was willing to bow and scrape for her and worship her as a goddess. She is above me, and I am as humble as dust.

How can such a person order me in an air-filled field? I feel that I can't look up to her in an instant.

Or in other words, I don't think she can play the perfect heroine in my heart in an instant.

There were many similar details until I was disillusioned and asked her to end this relationship.

You may say, where in the world can there be such a perfect person as you think? I know all this, but I can't avoid my true feelings. Maybe no matter how white people are, they can't help but take a closer look.

In a word, the omen of my ending with her really started with that pig barking.

Anonymous, male m, 29 years old, omen 4: the beginning of marriage.

In 20 18, she entered the marriage hall with the female host, and in 2020, her relationship existed in name only.

How sweet 18 years is for a short marriage overlapping with BDSM, and how sad it is for 20 years. Of course, this tragedy may not be the main cause of BDSM.

I met the hostess on the internet and found that they were in tune, so I gradually moved towards marriage. When we got married, we had a tacit understanding. I have been wearing a chastity lock for a long time, and she is our key keeper. Without her permission, I can't release it, or even touch that part. Of course, this is my hobby, too. )

At the same time, we have established her position of being strong and weak in our daily life. My salary is paid to her every month, and she basically has the final say in major and minor matters at home.

She ordered a ban, and I obeyed.

Because the time span is too long, I can't remember when this happy balance was broken. I only remember the first time holding a grudge. I took a fancy to a monetary investment on 19, and wanted her to use part of her savings to make a purchase. But she refused on the grounds of short-term profit. If the investment is approved, I don't know how many times it will be doubled now. For the first time, I doubt whether she should always be in the position of making decisions.

Later, I proposed a discussion and asked her if I could make a decision in some areas that I am good at. After all, even if she is the master, she can't always make the right decision.

But her character reveals the strength in her bones, and she enjoys the authority that cannot be challenged. So I talked for a long time, and the result was only: I can try to convince her, but the final decision is still in her hand, no matter which side of life.

I admit that I fell in love with her because of this personality, but after the honeymoon, this personality not only appears harmonious in BDSM's preferences, but also has more and more quarrels in our daily life.

The complete conflict broke out when I wanted to buy a house last year (I didn't buy it when I got married) because it involved using almost all my family's savings. I advised her to discuss with me more and be cautious.

She did discuss it with me, but the result of the discussion was that the contradictions were difficult to reconcile. I wanted to borrow money to buy a school district with a large appreciation space. After all, it is inevitable that I will have children in the future, but she doesn't want to be in debt. She wants to buy a remote property and enjoy the life of refusing to live in a humble abode.

That was the first time we had a big fight. I totally denied her decision, saying that she was short-sighted and had no common sense in economics. If she must buy that place, please find a way by yourself and don't touch my money.

After the irreconcilable quarrel, we began to separate and the matter of buying a house was put on hold for the time being. When we met again later, we almost quarreled as soon as we met. I think any discussion becomes very tiring and torturous, and our feelings for each other are gradually exhausted in big and small quarrels.

At present, I am still separated and not divorced, because there are still some economic problems. When all this clutter is sorted out, I should go to the Civil Affairs Bureau.

If we must say the omen of this marriage change, I think its seeds were planted as early as when we entered the marriage hall. We all think marriage is too simple, only that it is not easy to meet people who understand each other in the vast sea of people, so we got married with passion for a while, didn't buy a house or a car, and didn't take into account many trivial matters and situations, so the beginning of this impulse also doomed the tragic end.

Any kind of intimate relationship needs to be run-in. Everyone inside is a gear, trying to get stuck with each other's teeth and run in harmony. But we come from different manufacturers, and our teeth are stuck. Running-in is the process of smoothing edges and corners, which means mutual compromise, quarrel, friction and even fighting.

But it's like @ Liu Hulai's absent-mindedness;

Like the sudden indifference faced by @ Little White Pig;

Perceived loss of light;

Like @ Anonymous's calm account of a failed marriage;

The omen of the end of intimate relationship is not the crying when the teeth get stuck in the teeth, which leads to a certain moment of collapse, but it is precisely at a certain silent moment that the two gears no longer get stuck together, the heart stops turning, giving up running-in and stopping fighting.

Perhaps the relationship will go further with inertia, and persistent men and women will even carry out various self-hypnosis redemption. But after all, if you think about it carefully, you will find that the moment when all relationships begin to die is so obvious, just like the death knell that is deliberately sounded in advance to prevent the parties from being unaware.

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