"Seven Overlords"

"BFF 2" starring Chen Yihan and Zhang Junning is about to be released, and suddenly I want to brush BFF 1. In this movie, the heroine played by Chen Yihan collapsed after her boyfriend cheated her. She prayed with tears: What did I do wrong? Can I change?

Much like the plot in 33 Days of Lovelorn, Huang Xiaoxian ran after her ex-boyfriend's car in the dark with tears, and said in her heart while running in despair, Give me another chance. What did I do wrong? I will change it. Until I was awakened by my boyfriend's slap.

I can't help crying every time I see it. How can two people who used to be so good be separated? For you, I tried to change, but how did I end up with nothing?

When trying to save a relationship, basically all girls will cry irrationally in the same way and say, I will change. At least this is the limit I can do, but the result is basically the same, and that person will tell you: it's too late. In fact, the departure of love is never a matter of time, nor is it a matter of time, but whether we know how to manage this relationship well when we set foot on the dock of love, so that its course will not be blurred by daily necessities and long-term boredom, and a vigorous love will fade.

Should we become what lovers like? In the past few days, I have revisited this debate in "Qi Pa Shuo" and finally found the answer: what we want to strive for is this process, not trying to change the result after reaching the finish line. In love, of course, we must strive to become what lovers like, but more importantly, we must become what we like. In this way, even if a relationship really can't stay, you can have a clear conscience, no regrets and be worthy of this love.

As a writer, Bai Bangni is not only sensitive, but also eloquent and impressive. She said that love is not to cater to each other, nor to change for each other. When you want to cater to each other, you lower yourself. In an equal relationship, there is no need to cater to each other.

Bai Bangni shared the growth of her love concept. When we were little girls, everyone had a princess dream. I believe that my Mr. Right will marry him in a colorful auspicious cloud one day. At that time, I thought love was luck. As long as I am lucky, I can find the right person. Once I meet him, I don't need to change anything. We 100% have a tacit understanding and live a happy life in fairy tales forever.

But when we become a big girl, we find that love is not luck, but an ability. Love does not let you find a very suitable person, but find a very good person and get along with him.

Bai Bangni said that love needs ability, and the ability to love is the ability to change, that is, to see each other's needs and be willing to let go of their temporary needs. In many TV dramas and works, we see that the most beautiful love should be: the grass is bearing seeds, the wind is shaking the leaves, and we stand silent, which is beautiful.

Good love is not the absence of quarrels and seven-year itch, but learning to look at what the other person wants with a tolerant heart, understand him, understand him and give him what he wants. Know how to make ordinary days interesting and delicious.

I think of a friend whose girlfriend is not the kind of gentle girl, but she is willing to satisfy his Pisces romance and often makes some small surprises in her life. For example, when she is having dinner at home, she lights candles to create a little mood that he likes.

The love story between Jiang Yang and Qian Zhongshu has always been envied by everyone. At the end of 1942, Jiang Yang wrote the drama "Satisfied". After the performance, it was a blockbuster and quickly became popular. Jiang Yang's sudden popularity made the talented Qian Zhongshu sit still. One day, he said to Jiang Yang, "I want to write a novel. Do you support it? " Jiang Yang was very happy and urged him to write quickly. Jiang Yang asked him to reduce the teaching time. In order to save money, she also dismissed the maid at home. She did all the housework by herself, chopping wood and cooking by herself. She was often smoked with fireworks and shed tears, and accidentally cut her finger. A spoiled rich woman, willing to be a kitchen maid, never complains, only looking forward to the early publication of her lover's masterpiece.

Two years later, Fortress Besieged was successfully published. Qian Zhongshu said in the preface of Fortress Besieged: "This book was written for two years. For two years, I have been worried about the world, and I want to stop many times. Thanks to Ms. Jiang Yang's constant urging, she stopped many things for me, saved time, and was able to finish writing at every penny. As usual, this book should be dedicated to her. " Husband and wife take care of each other, and the feelings of mutual respect are touching and enviable.

In her article, Jiang Yang recalled that during her hospitalization, Qian Zhongshu lived alone. When I go to the maternity hospital every day, I often say with a bitter face, "I did something bad." He knocked over the ink bottle and dyed the tablecloth of the landlord's house. Jiang Yang said, "Never mind, I'll wash it." Then he did something bad and smashed the light. Jiang Yang said, "Never mind, I'll fix it." The next time he was worried, he said he had broken the door shaft. Jiang Yang said, "Never mind, I'll fix it."

"He is very grateful and believes that I said' it doesn't matter'. All the' bad things' he did when I lived in the maternity ward were really repaired after I returned to the apartment. "

"Zhong Shu called a car to the hospital to meet his wife and daughter, and then returned to the apartment. He stewed chicken soup, peeled the tender broad bean petals, cooked them in soup and served them to me in a bowl. People in the Qian family will be surprised to know that their' big official' can serve the mother in this way.

Qian Zhongshu cherished Jiang Yang's contribution. Jiang Yang can see Qian Zhongshu's thoughtfulness and care. Lovers can think of each other so personally. A rich woman and a "scholar" are willing to make changes for each other within their power. In the process of changing for each other, love is more lasting and stronger. The best love is never even, but caring for each other.

Bai Bangni said well, when you have the ability to satisfy the person you love, you are not a little girl, because there is no longer only "I" in your heart, but a brand-new word-we. Just like Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang, they have a tacit understanding and cherish each other.

In fact, falling in love is not meeting the right person at the right time, but meeting someone who is willing to change for you when you are willing to change, or you are willing to make changes for him.

We change and learn differently in every love, but we all have a similar result, that is, growth. Mix said that many times, we know that many things can't be done well, but why not change them because we are too comfortable. So you never know the fun of change.

Running 7 kilometers a day, the sense of accomplishment that you are tired to death but have overcome yourself, you will only understand if you have done it; After learning to swim, imagine yourself as a free-swimming fish. Only by really going deep into it can you realize it. After I fell in love with hiking, that kind of physical and mental growth is a life experience I have never had before.

Mix said that when two people appreciate each other and overlap each other, we appreciate the same scenery. It's hard for me not to be influenced or changed by you. In fact, we like a person for two reasons. We see ourselves in him. I saw something in him that I didn't have but always wanted. Just like Mix saw purity in Yan Rujing that he didn't have. Just like in Ode to Joy, Qu Xiaoyu has boldness and freedom that Dr. Zhao doesn't have. We admire people who are similar to ourselves and fall in love with people who complement us.

Zhang Defen wrote, there is no one else outside, only yourself. Everything you see is a transmission of your inner world. The mashup is very sharp. "We say that we should be true to ourselves, but in many cases, the truest self is often the one you are most arrogant and despised, that is, the repressed self." Therefore, he said, it is better to like yourself around Yan Rujing than to like him, just as you like him rather than that person's own.

Many people will have such confusion. If I change for one person, will I lose myself? I'm not who I used to be? Is there only a choice of "all" and "nothing" to change, and there is no middle?

Bai Bangni gave the answer, we often build ourselves on too many details, and we feel like a pile of hard and brittle fragments. Okay, what is it like to be yourself? It should be a big soft and elastic ball. My looks, my habits, my job and my hobbies are all mine. I am a collection of all these things, and we are trying to change rather than subvert. You can try to give up smoking for her and fall in love with traveling, reading and sports for your lover. Such a change will not make you lose yourself, on the contrary, it will make you a better person. So why not change, why not change, why not try? Even if you change and finally find yourself really unsuitable, at least you get an answer, which is progress.

When Bai Bangni asked Zhou Xun what he thought of his last relationship, Zhou Xun said: I have tried my best. This sentence particularly touched her. She hopes that even if love has to end one day, she can proudly say that I have done all the efforts I can and all the changes I can make.

In Ode to Joy 2, in order to please Dr. Zhao, Qu Xiaoyu forced himself to watch musicals he didn't like, gnaw at difficult books and ask around what people like Dr. Zhao would like, so he took the initiative to help Dr. Zhao install hundreds of thousands of audio equipment in his car, but it hurt Dr. Zhao's self-esteem. When Qu Xiaoyu broke up, she said that after Dr. Zhao was with her, she lost her original lofty position, not herself, but her lofty position of loving Dr. Zhao. When trying to please Dr. Zhao, Qu Xiaoyu just lost her own way and fearlessness, which is exactly what Dr. Zhao loves.

Therefore, in love, we don't want to turn each other into ourselves that we no longer know or like, but seek a balance between our bottom line and our love for each other, as Rene Liu said, "I dare to be alone in your arms".

In the first philosophy class in college, the teacher asked us to write a paper: Who am I?

Bai Bangni said that the "me" of self is actually the result of your continuous experience and change when you came into this world. No one came into this world as a finished product, that is, completely mature and does not need to be changed. I will become who I am now, depending on the people I met, the people I loved, the people who loved me, and then changed the people I changed. Including everything I might have been reluctant to do at that time, but later I was willing to be together, and now I am.

Everyone who appears in our life is our ferryman, who will accompany us through a journey to make ourselves better.

Everyone's life is a journey to the west with a heavy burden of life. Along the way, monsters will torture you, beautiful money will tempt you, and storms and thunderstorms will attack you. But it is precisely because of these experiences that you have been trained to be an iron wall after experiencing the 81 difficulties, and blx will become Jin Gangzuan with a happy ending.

Zhang Defen once said, don't be afraid of the hardships in life. Actually, it's a gift from fate. Although its packaging is a bit clumsy, you must be patient and slowly unpack the packaging that may not look so good. What awaits you is incomparable beauty. To refuse suffering is to refuse grace.

The best change in the world is because of that person that you have become a better self. I really want to have such a person, let me fall in love with her, let me no longer care about gains and losses. Let me not be impulsive, let me not go with the flow, because when I know that I am in love with him, I have met my best self.

Embrace change and embrace your own bloom.