12 How do boys chat with girls?

I divide the dialogue into four levels to build relationships and emotions. 1 to 3 belongs to the shallow level of strike up a conversation skill. The fourth level belongs to the deep-seated strike up a conversation skill.

First floor. Simple approval or emotion.

This is the last sentence of most of our brothers who don't know what to talk about next, and then they don't know what to say. For example,

The woman said, "I'm too tired from class/work today."

The man said, "Really, have a good rest."

This situation is often that women don't talk, and men don't know what to say next. Say, "Really, have a good rest." Men's psychology began to ponder what to say below. However, this sentence "really, have a good rest." A normal conversation will also add a little relationship. But start learning the next level of dialogue.

The second floor. Keyword skills.

Change is to catch a keyword in a conversation with France, and then say something about you or others according to this keyword. This dialogue goes further than the first level. For example,

The woman said, "I'm too tired from class/work today." (The key words here can be, going to work/attending classes, so tired, you can choose one or both. )

The man said, "Really, it seems like I didn't go to work today." (With "going to work" as the key word, you can also use "attending class" to tell a story about going to work. Women, including you, will be curious. After you say this sentence, you will leave the other party with many questions and ask you questions. )

The woman asked, "How can you act like you didn't go to work?"

The man said, "(You can talk about your job) I went to an intern's graduation ceremony this morning, ate in a restaurant on Nanjing Road, arrived at the office at 4 pm and got off work at 5 pm." This simple story about you has created many questions for women, such as, what intern, what school, and going to Nanjing Road for dinner at graduation? Wait a minute. Women are more likely to ask you naturally, and at the same time carry on this chat. At the same time, note that here is a woman asking a man a question, that is, a woman is interested in what a man says, and if she asks too much, she is interested in a man, because a woman will only ask if she is interested in what a man says. )

The woman asked: "What school intern, the graduation ceremony is still in Nanjing Road?"

Dude, go on. ...

Of course, if something unusual happens and the woman doesn't ask, at this time, according to the above conversation, there are many open topics that can be picked up again. For example, a man can ask, "Were you lazy yesterday, so you have to do more work today?" Or men can keep talking about interns or something.

Give you an example of a keyword,

Woman: This coffee doesn't taste very good. (Keywords: coffee, not good to drink)

Man: (using coffee keywords) This coffee has not been cooked for enough time. It's still about five minutes away. Cook for another 5 minutes to get the top grade. (The question space left for women after this passage: Do you know much about coffee? How can you understand? Why do you understand? Why will it be top grade if it is burned for another 5 minutes? Wait a minute. After you answer any question, you will give her more questions to ask you. The topic will be endless, and there can be no topic to talk about. ) you can also use bad drinking as a key word.

The man said: Have you ever had a drink called Hongle? This is the worst drink I have ever had. (The question space left for women after this passage: What is Hongle? What does it taste like? Where did you drink it? Why did you drink it? Why have I never drunk it myself? Here's something for you: Hongle's drink was mixed by myself. I used to joke with women that it was made in Nicaragua, a small island in South America, and its original name was vivadecheeva. My friends and I call it Hongle because it tastes like inferior red wine and still coke.

This is the keyword technology. Simply put, it is to take out a keyword in the other person's words and talk about yourself or other things, a sentence, a question and so on around this keyword. Every time you talk to others, especially beautiful women, you should seize the opportunity to practice this skill. This skill is nothing, just keep practicing after you understand it.

The third floor. Lexical opportunism skills. Precisely

M: What else do you like besides dancing?

W: I'm interested in photography.

M: Really. Like Le Bowitz or more like Mankat? This is the application of opportunistic skills in lexical chunks. )

Woman: Oh, it's more like Mankat or something! When a woman finds a bosom friend, she will feel excited. The two found the same topic and started a marathon chat. The opportunistic approach of lexical chunks is to throw a little "color" on a topic to make the other party feel that you have the same topic and interest. * * * The same topic, * * * The same hobby equals the intimate upgrade of the relationship. Chunks are the channel to deepen and upgrade this relationship. Let's continue to watch ... we continue to deepen and expand the scope of the above dialogue.

M: Interesting. Have you ever heard that a picture is equal to 1000 words?

Woman: Yes!

M: Maybe it's just me, but I think a photo is equal to a thousand feelings. When I look at a painting or a photo, what usually impresses me most is the feeling that the photo can give me. It reminds me that they must use the camera to capture this picture, because it can't express the feeling of this picture in words at all. ...

Woman: Wow! ..... This dialogue goes deeper than the key words, involving the exchange of feelings and emotions. This is the deep-seated connection between words and feelings that we are going to talk about below. This deep-seated heart-to-heart communication is called empathy and deja vu. Before the above three levels, the first simple agreement or feeling is the most preliminary and superficial relationship establishment. This is not a skill, but what most people who don't know what to say next often say. The second keyword skill is a skill. Let you communicate normally, that is, exchange your experiences, opinions, opinions, experiences, etc. on the surface, that is, normal dialogue, which solves the problem of not knowing what to talk about next. The third part of opportunism is the skill of making two people become friends at once. Not only for what the other party said, but also for familiar topics of interest, exchange their knowledge, experience, views, opinions and so on. At the same time, I show that I have a deep understanding of the topics I am interested in, that is, I show that I am an expert and I am very interested in this. I suddenly narrowed the distance between the two people, that is, everyone is one of their own. To give a simple example, for example, if you are interested in how to strike up a conversation, and are interested in striking up a conversation skill, you are an expert. When I met a stranger in the coffee shop, I was just a stranger before I opened my mouth, but when I talked about it, I found out that someone was an old hand in studying the chat-up skills for several years, and your relationship suddenly narrowed, giving me a feeling that everyone was one of our own. The fourth level of authenticity mentioned today makes you understand the skills and experience of chatting up. The hand method is emotional communication.

Pay attention to a love word. The first level is friendship, the second level is that we can talk, the third level is that we are interested in speculation and friends, so this fourth level is the level we fall in love with. It is a way to make the other person emotional and emotional. It is a way to make the other person want to be your lover. In some cases, you can have sex with women without involving emotions at all. This is the principle. Don't use it to fool others. It's not necessary. Don't hurt others' feelings.

12 How do boys chat with girls?

Let me talk about this method first.

The simple description of this topic is: analyze and extract the other party's emotions and emotions at that time through what the other party said, combine with any available background information, comprehensively deal with these emotions and emotions, find out the essence or root of these emotions, and then use these similar or identical emotions and emotions to indirectly express your experience or knowledge or what you know in the words of giving back to the other party. You can use metaphors, stories, descriptions and so on to express your emotional understanding of each other. The effect is that the other person thinks that you know her mood very well at that time, as if her bosom friend didn't even know herself so well, and she didn't tell you directly what happened. She might say, "I'm so tired at work today, and my boss asked me to be busy there." And what you say below makes her feel that you are a confidant.

Of course, there are some other skills involved. These tips are all analyzed with examples. We use the same example as above:

The woman said, "I'm so tired from work today."

The man said, "Someone has done a survey, and 93% of people who go to work will feel very tired for an average of 2.5 days a week."

The woman said, "I'm sure it's more than 2.5 days." I feel very tired at work every day these days. "

The man said, "Is your boss bad or do you dislike your job?"

The woman said, "Yes, how do you know? It's my boss. Today, he asked me to do this and that for a while. I feel so annoyed. "

The man said, "It's like an old cow, plowing all day and being commanded to pull a cart."

The woman said, "Yes. Very tired. "

The man said, "I sometimes think that if I don't have to work every day, I will do what I like every day and go out to play with my friends." Travel to Hainan, Yunnan, and go to the seaside. By the way, if you imagine if you don't have to go to work next month, what would you choose to play? "

Let's analyze it below:

The woman said, "I'm so tired from work today."

First of all, analyze the emotions in this sentence: tired, irritable.

Further exploration: Why are you tired and upset when you go to work? What are the reasons for being upset and tired at work? I just don't like my job, or I'm dissatisfied with others, colleagues, bosses, customers, etc. Working. Next, further exploration is needed to determine the specific and exact reasons. This step can be explored in many ways, such as psychological method, value induction, cold reading, game method and so on. Here, we have just learned the skills of choosing keywords for men, so here we practice the following. Grasp the two key words "going to work" and "tired" to establish a preliminary relationship. The man said, "Someone has done a survey, and 93% of people who go to work will feel very tired for an average of 2.5 days a week." Here we use the second-level keyword technique to grasp the two keywords of "going to work" and "tired" and establish a preliminary relationship. (Off-topic analysis: On the one hand, this sentence also makes the other person feel good, because she is not the only one who is tired at work in this world, and it also implies.

Tell her not to complain to me. I am a high-value man, not to listen to your complaints. In other words, this sentence is a high-value display. This is not an out-of-box test, not an obvious high-value display such as suppression. This is an advanced and high-value presentation skill. We will talk about the content of this digression analysis later. Not much to say here, the main speech blocking skills. )

Women can answer:

"What survey? Never heard of it. " (destroy the relationship)

B "I must exceed 2.5 days. I feel tired going to work every day these days. " (neutralization)

C "Are you tired from work?" /"Really? You know quite a lot. " (Please explain the relationship)

Here, if a woman says, "What investigation? Never heard of it. " This shows that either she is unconsciously testing you whether she is already interested in you or she doesn't like you yet. Her words were destructive. In that case, don't answer honestly. You can make fun of her and even suppress her. If a woman says, "I must stay longer than 2.5 days. I feel tired going to work every day these days. " (This is a neutral relationship) This will be analyzed in detail below.

If a woman says, "Are you tired from work?" /"Really? You know quite a lot. " This is a flattering relationship, which shows that women already like you, are interested in you and are trying to make you like her. So in this case, don't use pressure, don't use attractive materials, don't hurt her, don't be arrogant to her, and don't be silly to say that the situation is still trying, and do all kinds of things that make her like you. She already likes you. What you need to do next is to upgrade your intimate relationship. Of course, you can also indirectly convey to her that you like one or several specific personality characteristics of her, or something else, such as her special interests.

In short, men's answers to three different relationships should also be different. I will write an article about how to be different and why. Here, we will first choose the answer to the relationship.

The woman replied, "I'm sure it's more than 2.5 days." I feel very tired at work every day these days. "The woman replied, and it is a neutral relationship. What is certain here is that she really feels tired from work. Is sincere. Then you can explore the root cause of feeling tired at work. As I said above, I don't like my job, or I'm dissatisfied with others, colleagues, bosses, customers, etc. Next, men use the cold reading method to further explore to determine the specific and exact reasons.

The man said, "Is your boss bad or do you dislike your job?" Cold reading seems to be a wild guess, but it is actually a reasonable inference after analysis. This cold reader here is actually not the best. Because you look carefully, in fact, the two things that men look at coldly are actually very close. Of course, it may also be that men have better eyesight and have seen the root of the problem, so there is no need to cast a net too much. Get what you want here. Not seeking perfectionism.

The woman said, "Yes, how do you know? It's my boss. Today, he asked me to do this and that for a while. I feel so annoyed. "

At this time, the woman has felt that you know her very well and have opened your heart to you. The intimate relationship between two people rose to a new level. Through further exploration, men found that in fact, women's fatigue is not satisfied with their bosses, which leads to unhappiness and annoyance in their work and makes them feel tired. Instead of climbing mountains or doing manual labor. This information is crucial. We will see below.

Men seize this emotional clue: analyze what this emotion feels like. Then imagine what kind of scenes, situations or metaphors can reflect this feeling.

Information: I am instructed by my boss to do a lot of work. I am unhappy at work, don't like my boss, and may not like this job very much, so I am very tired at work. Arouse emotions: trouble and fatigue.

A man can give a woman feedback and say, "Just like an old cow, she plows all day and is commanded to pull a cart."

Here is a metaphor to give a woman a scene where she can feedback the same emotions. The goal is to make women feel more considerate and understand her. To open my heart to you.

(Off-topic analysis: There is still a little joke about women, which also leaves women with a chance to joke easily. You compare her to an old ox, but you don't directly say that you look like an old ox. On the one hand, women think you know her too well, on the other hand, they are happy and angry. What metaphor is not easy to use, but you use an old cow. Some cheerful and lively women will make fun of you, "Yes. Just a lovely cow. " Something like that Especially cute girls will pretend to be ox or something. If a woman does any of the above things, seize this opportunity to enliven the atmosphere, from the previous tiredness and annoyance to the present fun, loveliness and happiness. This woman will unconsciously associate this atmosphere with you and like you more. Note that if this happens, men should not bring up the topic of this job unless women bring it up again. You gave her a good mood in one sentence. Do not go back. )

Let's look back. For ordinary men, when a woman says, "It's my boss. Today, he asked me to do this and that for a while. I feel so annoyed. " Ordinary men either don't know what to say next, or persuade them directly, want to open up a little, or change jobs if they are unhappy, or try to please a woman and make her happy. This kind of words are meaningless, or some men think they know better than women and try to give them encouragement, advice and guidance directly. None of this will make women like you. Will not upgrade your intimate relationship. It will pull away.

If a woman doesn't seize the opportunity left by you, just like the conversation in our example above, she says something similar, "Yes. Tired "and so on. Then, we can continue this topic to deepen the relationship and make the relationship between two people by going up one flight of stairs. Then further analysis: what is the relative situation and emotion, and what is the relative emotion? Because this is probably what this person yearns for and longs for at present. Opposite: Good boss? A better job you like? Still not working? In other words, women's fantasy now is to look forward to not having to work, looking forward to changing to a good boss, or looking forward to a better job that they prefer. Then, the man said, "I sometimes think that if I don't have to work every day, I will do what I like every day and go out to play with my friends." Travel to Hainan, Yunnan, and go to the seaside. By the way, if you imagine if you don't have to go to work next month, what would you choose to play? "This sentence tells a woman's mind and tells her heart. On the one hand, I promise that a woman will give you many good answers, because this is her expectation and yearning. On the other hand, she has become more fond of this man, because he can not only understand her situation and mood, but also have the same yearning and expectation as himself. It's like-minded! Next up is the confidante,

12 How do boys chat with girls?

The average woman may start chatting with you endlessly. If a woman still likes her job, that is, she doesn't like her boss, then a man can say, "I just graduated from college and work for my boss." At first, I thought he was cool. We went to parties and went out to play together, but he and I had different personalities. I don't like the way he works. I have been thinking about changing a boss. " Stop at this place. Because the woman below will ask you, "What happened? Have you changed jobs? " Because women happen to be annoyed by this change of boss, they will be very interested and devoted to it. We can continue to talk below. This is just the beginning. What I gave you is just an example.

Now, we finally have some preliminary understanding of this deep-seated situation. All the analysis of this method is completed in a short time. 0.2 seconds, half a second or one second, etc. If you find it difficult. I remember I said before that it is more difficult to learn to attract women than the college entrance examination. This is an example. But the good news is that as long as you study hard and exercise, anyone can get into a good school and attract beautiful women. So let's do a simple exercise first. The following is an example of the dialogue we used in the third level. Why don't you analyze how this man uses lexical chunks in the following conversation? What effect did this man's words have? Why does this man say that? The full text of this conversation is in the example on the third floor. M: Interesting. Have you ever heard that a picture is equal to 1000 words?

Woman: Yes!

M: Maybe it's just me, but I think a photo is equal to a thousand feelings. When I look at a painting or a photo, what usually impresses me most is the feeling that the photo can give me. It reminds me that they must use the camera to capture this picture, because it can't express the feeling of this picture in words at all. ...

Woman: Wow! (Hint: Men already know that a woman's hobby is photography through the previous conversation. Imagine how you feel about photos if you are a photographer. )