What are the ways to ask for help?

No one is superman, everyone has problems that can't be solved. So in our daily life and work, we often ask people for help, or ask people to provide us with convenience, opportunities or specific things.

There are many ways to "beg", and a large part of them need to be put forward orally. Anyone who wants something from others always hopes that the requested person will agree to his request. In this case, you have to pay attention to some skills when making a request. It is not difficult to find that the same "needs" are expressed in different ways by different people, and the results are often different. It can be seen that asking for help needs ingenuity.

1. Really "hug" each other.

The so-called "praise" here means praising the person who made the request properly and realistically, not the kind of rambling and disgusting flattery. When asking for help, it is also a clever way to ask for help by saying something that the other person is willing to listen to, especially by praising the other person in what he asks.

A teacher wants to invite an amateur seal cutting artist to carve a seal. After learning the meaning of the visitor, the amateur seal engraver laughed: "Seal engraving, that's right. But now it is a market economy. Do you want to pay for engraving? Just a little cheaper, 100 yuan a word. " Although it was a joke, the teacher also heard that the seal engraver complained a little about being often asked to engrave his seal. Then he smiled and said, "You are only half right. If you want to get your seal, you should pay. However, your seal is more than 100 yuan. I want to buy something else. If this store can't be bought, I can change to another one. No one can carve this charm except you. There is no market for price, which is not enough. " A few words made the amateur seal engraver calm and happily carved a seal for him.

Mutual understanding

When you ask others, you should also think about the pressure and possible difficulties that your request will cause to the other party. You said these difficulties are much better than what he said. "I know this will bring you a lot of trouble, but I have no other choice but to ask you." In this way, it is easier to make the other person willing to do things for you.

be sure of oneself

When you want something from others, you must have the confidence to convince them. In order to make what we say convincing, we should not doubt and fear, but look forward to it with joy and confidence.

4. Never say "You can do it".

When you want to ask others, don't say "you can, too".

People who are good at talking always avoid saying such inferior words as "you can do it, too" because it will make the listener unhappy. At this time, if you think this person is in a hurry and can't wait, you can call him to work in 5 minutes or 10 minutes, but you must never take the other person as a substitute. To arouse each other's sense of honor, such as "I think you are the most suitable for this job!" ""if you do, you will certainly be able to do better. Now can you start doing it right away? "

At home, when mothers ask their children to do housework, they should also avoid saying, "Sister is not here, you can do it.". Instead, she should say, "You sweep the floor very carefully! Help mom clean the living room, will you? " Because even children value the sense of honor and mission given by their parents.

Make a promise to each other

That is, when asking for help, make a promise of mutual benefit and let the other party feel that their efforts are worthwhile. When asking for help, don't forget to express that you are willing to give something back or remember the benefits provided by the other party. Even if you can't repay each other immediately, you will definitely help each other when they need it. Don't worry that this promise will turn into a blank check, it doesn't matter, just say it, because as long as the requester has this awareness, the requester will have a good impression on the requester. Besides, not everything that asks for help pays off.

6. Let the other side no way back.

It is to design the dialogue in advance, block the other party's retreat, and let the other party accept your request sincerely.

Once, a school planned to hold a parent-teacher conference in view of the serious phenomenon of student drain. The director of academic affairs found the secretary and said, "I am reporting to you now ... One of the most prominent problems in our school is the serious loss of students, which will inevitably bring about adverse effects." The secretary went on to say, "Yes, this problem can't be ignored. We should grasp it well. " The director took the opportunity to say, "So, we are going to hold a parent-teacher meeting right away. Please give instructions at the meeting. " Say that finish, the secretary thought for a moment, and then readily agreed. Later, according to the secretary, he had already made an appointment, but it was inconvenient to refuse, so he had to give up.

7. Use a consultative tone

Don't give orders at will when you need help from others. It would be better to use a euphemistic discussion tone.

For example, when the wife comes back from work, she says to her husband who is reading a book, "I have to work overtime to make a dress today." Will you pick up the children and cook? " This respectful tone of discussion is easy for the other party to accept.

This not only achieved the goal, but also the relationship between the two is very harmonious. But if you use the tough tone of the command, it will definitely cause a quarrel.

From the perspective of people's acceptance psychology, the domineering and bossy command tone is the most likely to cause the other party's disgust; However, there is a natural compromise between equal consultation and sincere request. Therefore, the negotiation tone is easier to change a person's point of view than the imperative tone. This method should be adopted as far as possible between colleagues and family members.

8. Make a final blow through the challenge.

When you encounter a most difficult problem, only someone can solve it best, but he doesn't listen to you very much, so you have to make a final blow through challenges.

A man wanted to sell his book, so he asked his friend for help. Seeing the target, the first sentence when I came to the door said, "Dude, do you have many friends? Do you have the strength to help me sell 20 books? " Then looked at him inquiringly. Seeing his hesitation, he added, "You have few friends and are unable to help, so I have to find another friend who is willing to help." Hearing this, my friend agreed as soon as he patted his chest. This method is only for those who are outspoken and competitive.

Above, we have analyzed some methods that are often used when making requests to others in conversation. Obviously, these methods can achieve two purposes: one is to urge the other party to accept the request; Second, it can avoid the embarrassment of being rejected when making a request. These two goals have reached the first and have been successful; If both are achieved, it will be an excellent success.