Super cold joke

1. Three white rabbits picked a mushroom. The two big ones let the small one get some wild vegetables to eat together. The little one said, "I'm not going! When I leave, you can eat my mushrooms! " The two older ones said, "No! Rest assured! " So the little white rabbit went ~ ~ ~ Half a year later, the little white rabbit hasn't come back yet, and an older man said, "I won't come back!" Let's eat! " Another big one said, "Wait a little longer ~ ~" A year passed and the little white rabbit hasn't come back yet. The two older men discussed, "Don't wait, let's eat!" " Just then, the little white rabbit suddenly jumped out of the nearby jungle and said angrily, "Look! I knew you wanted to eat my mushrooms ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "

A rabbit molested a wolf (this rabbit is very strong, isn't it) and ran away. The wolf chased him angrily. Seeing that the wolf was about to catch up, the rabbit sat down under a tree, put on sunglasses, read the newspaper and pretended that nothing had happened. At this time, the wolf came and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree. He asked, "Did you see a rabbit running past?" The rabbit replied, "Did the rabbit tease the wolf?" The wolf shouted, "No way! See the newspaper so soon! "

3. The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much."

"well. . . . . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, are there a hundred buns!" "

Boss: "Sorry, there is still no!" " "

"well. . . . . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll buy two!" " "

On the first day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river, and went home without catching anything.

The next day, the little white rabbit went fishing by the river again, but found nothing and went home.

On the third day, the little white rabbit just arrived at the river, and a big fish jumped out of the river and shouted at the little white rabbit:

"If you dare to use carrots as bait again, I will kill you!"

5. Bears and rabbits shit in the forest. After that, the bear asked the rabbit, "Have you lost your hair?" The rabbit said "no ~" so the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass.

6. One day, a white rabbit came to a shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head: "No."

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

The next day, the little white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

On the third day, the white rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shouted angrily, "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with pliers! "

The little white rabbit ran away with a whoosh.

The fourth day, the little white rabbit came to this shop again and asked timidly, "Boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said, "No."

The white rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

I don't know how many days later, a little black rabbit came to this shop and asked the boss, "boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The little black rabbit ran away after hearing it.

The next day, the little black rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss was very angry: "No, no! Ask me again and I'll pull out your tooth with pliers! "

The little black rabbit ran away after hearing it.

On the third day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked timidly, "boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said angrily, "No."

The little black rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

The boss got angry, grabbed the little black rabbit, took out a small hammer and knocked out the little black rabbit's teeth.

The fourth day, the little black rabbit came to the store again and asked vaguely, "Boss, do you have carrot juice?"

The giraffe said, "Little Rabbit, I hope you know how good it is to have a long neck. No matter what I eat, I will slowly pass through my long neck, and that kind of delicious food can be enjoyed for a long time. " The rabbit looked at him blankly. "Also, in summer, cold water slowly flows through my long neck, which is delicious. What a long neck! Rabbit, can you imagine? " The rabbit said slowly, "Have you ever vomited?"

8. One day, the rabbit wrote in front of a cave. A wolf came up and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The wolf asked again, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing about how rabbits eat wolves."

The wolf laughed and said he didn't believe it.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave and the rabbit continued to write in front of the cave. Then another fox came over and asked, "Rabbit, what are you writing?"

The rabbit replied, "I'm writing a paper."

The fox asked, "What topic?"

The rabbit replied, "How does the rabbit eat the fox?"

The fox laughed after hearing this, expressing disbelief.

The rabbit said, "Come with me." Then he took it into the cave. After a while, the rabbit went out of the cave alone and continued to write his paper.

At this time, in the cave, a lion is sitting on a pile of bones and picking his teeth, while reading the rabbit's paper: the ability of an animal depends not on its strength, but on who is its boss behind the scenes!

9, many things will have a variety of flavors when cooked ... so cooking has always been very particular. On the contrary, however, there is something that smells better if it is frozen. Excuse me, what is this?

Answer: electricity. Because: refrigerator-> Electricity-ice-(fragrance)

10, cars can fly. Please guess a drink.

Answer: coffee. Because ... (car)-(plane)

1 1. How to make the drink bigger? Answer: recite the great compassion mantra

12, one day, there was a candy aisle halfway, and my legs were weak! It becomes fudge.

13, once upon a time, there was a steamed bread, which became steamed bread after eating a meatball!

14, one day, the little penguin went to play with the polar bear! Three years later, he went to the equator. When he remembered that his home was not closed, it took him three years to go home and close it. Arrive at the North Pole after six years. The child who knocked on the polar bear said, "Polar bear, I'm coming to play with you!" " As soon as the polar bear opened the door, he took a look at the penguin and said, "I don't want to play!" "Then close the door!" Penguins are home!

15, there is a person who looks particularly like a bicycle. As a result, one day she was riding away while standing on the road.

16, an egg went to the teahouse to drink tea, and it turned into a tea egg;

An egg ran to the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau and became a hydrogen bomb.

One of the eggs is female and ugly. Turns out to be a dinosaur egg.

17, a fat man fell from 12 and died ... What happened to him?

Answer: dead ~ ~ fat ~ ~ son

18, one day my friend told me that he had a cold joke: "Once upon a time, I had a friend named Cai Xiao, and one day he was taken away.

I said, "I once had a friend named Worry, and one day he was killed."

19, Xiao Ming: "What's the temperature today?"

Xiaohua: "3 degrees below zero!" "

Xiao Ming: "No wonder it's so cold!"

Once upon a time, a medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met in the street. Why don't they say hello?

Answer: Because I am unfamiliar!

2 1. Two people fell into a trap. The dead call the dead, what is the name of the living?

Answer: Call for help.

22. A white horse is called a white horse, a dark horse is called a dark horse, and a black and white horse is called a zebra. So what's the name of the black, white and red horse?

Answer: shy zebra

23. What is the last thing you want to happen when cooking barbecue?

Answer: Eat meat with you and pretend to be young.

24. What is the last thing you want to happen when the popcorn pops?

Answer: Corn is hard on you.

25. What chicken runs fast in the world? What chicken runs slowly?

Answer: KFC (fast) Nicole Kidman (slow)

26. On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl, "Why didn't the plane hit the stars when it was flying so high?" The little girl replied, "I know, because the stars will flash!" "

27. The science teacher asked, "Why is the body cold after death?" No one answered.

The teacher asked again, "Nobody knows?"

At this time, a classmate stood up and said, "That's because peace of mind is naturally cool."

28. What animal jumps higher than a tree?

Answer: All animals. Because trees can't jump.

29. Who gave it to you?

Answer: aha ~ ~ because "aha, give me a cup of forgetful water ~ ~ ~"

30. What animal sticks to the wall most easily?

A: Sea (newspaper) leopard

Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Do you know why?

Because: it's really like Dabai.

Xiaoming got a new haircut and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: "Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite!" " "Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying, he flew!

33. What's the name of this pencil?

Answer: Xiao, because: sharpen (Xiao) pencils.

34. What is the mother's surname of Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang?

A: "If" was born in, "Why" was born?

35. The giraffe and the monkey got married. A year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: "I will never live this kind of jumping up and down again!" " The monkey was furious: "Leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees! "

How many English letters are there?

Answer: 26

What e, t is gone, how many letters are left?

Answer: 2 1. Because ET is going to drive away UFOs

37. Which cartoon character is always in the dark?

Answer: Doraemon (robot cat). Because it's opaque.

38. Four people are playing mahjong in the room. Why did the police come and take five people?

Answer: Because the person they play is called Mahjong.

39. Xiaoming: "Do you know the name of boxing champion Ali's father?"

Xiaogang: "I don't know."

Xiao Ming: "Idiot! Alibaba, of course. "

40. What animal falls down most easily?

Answer: the fox, because it is "cunning"

Xiaoming has the habit of keeping a diary. One day, when the diary was finished, he wanted to buy a new one and went downstairs to the stationery store. He took a fancy to a diary with antique features, but it was priced at 50 yuan. Xiao Ming paid the boss half a day's price before the boss sold him 30 yuan/this. Xiao Ming went home excitedly. It was already dark when he took a shower and prepared to write a diary. When he came out of the bathroom, all of a sudden, he only heard Xiaoming scream. . . . . . A strong wind outside the window blew away the new diary on the table! The wind blew the books from page to page. . . . . . Toss and turn. . . . . . Turn to the last page and it says: Pricing 3 yuan.

42. There is a hide-and-seek club in a university, and now I can't find the president!

43. One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

44. A man and a woman are eating.

The girl kept asking the boy, "Do you love me?"

The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner.

The girl was very angry and asked, "Do you love me?"

The boy finally said, "Love."

The girl asked again, "Then how do you prove it?"

Suddenly the boy took out thirty dollars from his pocket and asked the girl, "Do you have ten dollars?"

The girl gave the boy ten yuan.

The boys put forty yuan on the table.

After a while. . . . . .

The girl was very angry and asked the boy, "Do you want to prove that you love me?"

The boy said, "I have proved it!" " "

Because forty (facts) are in front of us!

45. One day, a big grape and a small grape were walking on the road. The big grape suddenly said to the small grape, "Can you carry me?" The little grape said, "Good!" As a result, the small grapes were crushed to death.